It’s hard to live with parents when you’re becoming an adult, not to talk of having to deal with their rules, terms, and condition‚—especially when it has to do with you going into a relationship.
You probably have a crush and you feel it’s time to make a move and go out on dates or officially make him your boyfriend. However, your parents may not be ready to see you in that light. Your parents may feel you’re not yet ready because as far they’re concerned, you’re still the baby they’ve always known.
Although their decision may be personal or from a point of fear and concern, you may already be sure you’re mature enough to start dating. What they may be thinking could be completely different from you. Also, their ways of handling an issue may be slightly different from yours.
Situations like this could make you feel a bit awkward and restricted. But you have to let them know and at the same time, find ways to start dating without it messing with their rules. How do you approach this? Stay glued to find out 7 tips on how to talk to your parents about your new desired dating status.
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Let’s look at it from their perspective first. Imagine yourself as a mom or dad and how much you love your daughter. You would kill anybody that comes close to her, not to talk of harming her in any way like breaking her heart.
Take some time to think about that and observe how you feel. The way you feel is exactly how they feel when they imagine you dating someone. They don’t know what to expect or how to accept it and they feel you need more time before you make such a decision.
When you get to play an imaginary role as a mom or dad to yourself in the most realistic way you can, you may begin to really know their thoughts when they find out you’re dating or about to. Understanding your mom and dad or their way of thinking would give you a chance to know how to go about this dating issue with them.
Sometimes, your answer lies in listening. You listening to your mom and dad without any interruption is one of the greatest things that could bring them joy. It not only works for them but you as well. It makes the environment peaceful and calm for any topic of discussion.
So, take some time out to listen to them talk about their reason or reasons why they don’t feel comfortable with you having a boyfriend. Also, try to listen and understand their thoughts even though you may not completely understand because you also want to live your life as an adult but it’s good to try.
Sometimes, you get to really know why they say some things or make some rules. You’d also get to see things from a different point of view which could also help you make a good decision. Parents could sometimes make you realize a guy may not be good for you. Either way, it could be a win win for you.
More emphasis on ‘tell’. You shouldn’t fight about it at all. Everyone is human and nobody ever knows or understands how you feel until you say it to them. Make your parents understand the direction you’re coming from. State good points on why you think they should allow you to date. Points like how much you genuinely love this guy and feel you’re safe with him,
It may not even be about the guy, it could just be you trying to have fun with someone different or just wake up to sweet messages every day. There’s no doubt that women love attention and affection and they may not get the kind they love from normal friends and family. Just explain these facts to them amicably. Who knows? They could slip into your world and get along with it.
Showing a high level of maturity especially to parents goes a long way to convince them that you’re ready to date. Doing the little things you can to please them can go a long way to do this. Also, making certain choices about other important things could do the magic. It’s quite easy and it could just take a few steps to get them to accept.
So, you could take some time off to do laundry or house chores without being asked. Or you could take responsibility to get everyone concert tickets. These could look a bit insignificant at the moment but they could go a long way to make a turn of events positively. You never know what could work but it’s always good to try.
Not everything works in one day or a twinkle of an eye. Some things take time and need to be worked on and this involves informing your parents about a new potential boyfriend. You could start discussing it with them step by step on a daily basis.
On the first day, you could mention or talk about him as your very good friend. Then you could just remind them of him and say something positive about him. When you keep saying good things about him, with time, they could begin to ask you about him, how he’s doing, and when last you both spoke.
If your mom is open-hearted enough, she could tell you to ask him to come by some time for lunch or dinner. And when they both meet him at least twice or more, it may somehow neutralize their reason for not letting you into the dating world. This is one of the tips to show your parents you’re ready to date.
With this next scenario, you want to feel free to start dating. You’re not moving out of the house, refusing to do house chores, disrespecting their principles, or ending your bond with your parents. You just want them to understand your decisions and come to terms with them.
So, you as a person will talk to them respectfully while still standing by your choice of having a boyfriend. And this is another trick.
Talk to your parents as a daughter to a father or mom who plans to still respect their terms and way of life. They need that assurance from you. Remind them of what you learned from them as a child and how to intend to maintain yourself with those lessons.
Let them be encouraged to know that you’d still abide by their rules of coming home early, or waking up to make food for the family on thanksgiving. This is one of the ways to get through to your parent’s hearts. Because the fact remains, every mom still wants that well-raised child.
One of the ways to convince your parents is to let them know you’re safe with whoever you’re going out with. Organizing group dates also help.
So you leave home telling them you want to hang out with friends but you don't say you all are couples or the other guy is your boyfriend yet. And even when they know, they’d feel safer knowing you’re out on a date with your crush and other friends of yours that they trust.
It could be a picnic, an open-air meetup, to see a movie at the cinema, bowling, or for games as a whole. It’s a trick to let them in that you’re ready to date. So, you could organize a little date with your bestfriend and her boyfriend.
Pick a location, and when you get there, you could both go different ways to have fun. You could even hang out somewhere close to your house for a start just to gain their trust. So, put this in mind when considering one of the ways to let them in.
Parents might just basically want to know you’re safe, secure, and mature enough to make certain decisions. If you can prove this and more by words or actions to them and exercise a little patience, then you’re good to go.
Relationship experts say it’s okay to start dating at 16 years. Some say it’s better off at 17 or 18. However, it depends on the parents involved, the kind of home a person grew up in, society, religion, environmental pressure, or the main person involved.
Normally, it’s advised to wait till you’re sure it’s a serious and committed person before letting the cat out of the bag which means telling your parents which is typically from four months or five months into the dating phase.
Your parents may feel you’re not ready to face certain challenges but be patient with them. Use their point of view to explain to them why they don’t need to worry about anything. Also, give them time to come around and see reasons with you.
You could start it step by step, by letting her know about him as your friend and how much he helps you whenever you need his help. This could be a few days to the date. On the date day, you could just tell your mom you have a hangout with one of your friends.
There’s always a way to balance dealing with your parents' reaction when you’re about to date and still going into a relationship without going against their rules. You could use any of these tips if you have any difficulty on how to approach them. Don't forget to share and drop a comment.