You’ll likely agree that the easiest way to date freely is to have a place of your own. However, for teenagers or youths who are still in school or just starting out their careers, living at home with your parents is totally understandable.
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If you have strict parents, it’s even harder to slip one by them as they would probably be insistent on a certain level of discipline and decorum in the home.
So do you zero out having a boyfriend until you move out? Well, not necessarily, if you’re old enough to have a boyfriend, there’d probably be more leniency when it comes to bringing a guy over or going to visit him.
However, I’ll still be providing some tips for both teens and young adults that live at home with their parents, but would still love to have an active and intimate dating life.
First off, let me make it clear that you shouldn’t feel embarrassed about still living at home with your folks. If you have a long-term plan you're working on, it’s certainly better to have a roof over your head and food to eat in the meantime. There’s also the love you're probably enjoying staying with loved ones, regardless of how tough or strained it is.
Now that’s said, you can’t pretend this is not your house, and you shouldn’t be rebellious to that fact as well. If your folks lay down ground rules, don’t feel suffocated or go as far as hating them or the situation. The fact remains that it’s their house, their rules, come to terms with that and accept the situation first.
Whether you’re a teenager, in your early, mid, or late twenties/thirties, it’s important to set boundaries when dating while living with your family. This may not be the time to get tricky, start lying or be dishonest, trust me, most parents know when their kids are trying to play smart.
So, before you even introduce this guy to your family, already have in mind which limits you won’t want to cross. For example, would you be okay having sex in your family house? Should he sleepover, and what time should you be home? These aren’t rules set for you by your folks, it’s you deciding which lines you’re willing to cross and the ones you won’t compromise on.
You may feel like keeping this a secret from your parents, especially if you think they’ll meddle. However, meddling isn’t always a bad thing, even though it’s very awkward and annoying initially. Regardless of how much we’d like to think we know it all, sometimes, this ‘old generation’ does know better.
So, whether that relationship is a month old or one year old, decide on when to tell your family about this guy. Your mom or dad may have some helpful relationship tips and advice that would help both of you in the long run.
Okay so here’s the thing, most teenagers and young adults go through this ‘rebellious streak’ where it only makes sense to do what’s not conventional. Like sneaking a guy through the window or maybe even having him jump out of it. However, if your folks are strict, and maybe don’t appreciate certain activities in the house, then it’s best not to aggravate them.
Rather, spice things up, go on dates to other places. It doesn’t have to be expensive, it could be a walk on the beach, a recreational park, or just a cool spot you’re both accustomed to. Meeting each other outside the house will help reduce a lot of awkwardness and tension that comes with doing otherwise.
This point is quite important, and it relates to the point I made about introducing a date to your family. However, if you’re still living at home, don’t make a habit of introducing every guy you start dating to your folks. It would only make you look a tad bit unserious if you keep bringing every guy that asks you to meet your parents.
That’s what I mean by separating the two, if you’re not looking for anything serious, then focus on having fun outside the home, and try not to bring those guys back to your parents’ place as well. Only introduce a guy after both of you have gotten to know each other to the point you’re comfortable telling others about it.
Since you’re still living at home, it’s important to let both sides of the family know about the relationship. It helps; if anything happens to one person, both families know who to reach out to for information or help. Plus, there are times when your date would want to check up on you and vice versa, it would be rude to just pop in, say hi, and head out through the back.
If you’re serious about this guy, get to know each other’s families, and get acquainted. Whether it works out or not, you’d be glad you did.
Communication is very important when you're dating and living with family. Don’t assume your family knows what you want, you should both have a discussion on what’s acceptable as I pointed out earlier.
If you’d like them to give you space when he comes around, let them know. If you don’t want them to talk about certain things when he’s around (sensitive topics) then tell them as well. You don’t want to keep stepping on each other’s toes and getting mad about your living situation in the process.
If you know you shouldn’t come home after 8 pm, don’t make it a habit to do so just because you're dating someone now. The fact that your family still houses and feeds you means you have to live by their rules until you get your own place.
So please, don’t feel like they're trying to punish you. Alife without guidelines is subject to dangers as much as freedom. Plus, this situation won’t last forever. So negotiate on what you can, and keep to the ones that are reasonable and respectful to all parties.
It’s easy to feel sidelined or bullied by your family when you’re dating someone, and sometimes, that may be the case. However, it’s important not to let your new relationship be the reason to disrespect your family members. This guy you’re seeing may leave you in seconds, but family is forever.
So while you shouldn’t tolerate disrespect or privacy invasion, don’t try to paint your folks black or insult them when they’re trying to help.
The previous point goes both ways, whether he comes to your place or you go back to his, ensure your partner knows that you respect your family. Don’t let him talk badly about them or to them. It’s your responsibility to ensure that while you’re dating this guy, or anyone else, they all respect you and your entire family.
It won’t be the first time a relationship has complicated a family’s dynamics. So try and ensure that isn’t the case here. Stay close to your family, respect them, and have one or two days where you just hang out with them and show them, love. Relationships may come and go, but your folks will constantly have your back regardless of what happens.
Yes, you can keep or start dating a guy while you still live at home. It’s just advisable to respect your parent’s house rules and probably plan more dates outside the house. While you want to have fun and be free, it’s important not to go overboard or be disrespectful in any way.
It’s up to you to let your parents know you’re in a relationship, whether you’re a teen or an adult. Yes, there may be some meddling, but sometimes, those noses that won’t mind their business could help draw the boundaries that keep the relationship healthy, and respectable to all parties.
It’s not shameful to still live with your parents, especially if you’re just starting out life, or haven’t had your big break. Some people still choose to live at home even when they are financially capable to make that big move. However, for the sake of independence, it’s essential for adults who are at least over the age of 21 to work towards having their own streams of income, and when the time is right, their own house as well.
Leaving home before 18 isn’t advisable, the appropriate age to leave should be around 21-24 years of age though. That gives you enough time to finish college or start a job/business that brings in enough money for you to cope with rent, bills, food, and other essentials.
Yes, it’s important to be transparent with people you look up to when you’re in a relationship. Their ‘sound advice’ could help you avoid heart-breaking stories, and they could guide and help you through the basic things like buying gifts or dropping you off at a date if you don’t have the means. However, only it’s important to do so when you feel comfortable letting them in.
I hope you enjoyed reading through this list. It’s such a sensitive topic because not many parents want to know that their kids are dating. However, if you’re of age, it’s okay to date someone you love or are interested in regardless of your living situation.
Did the tips above help you in any way? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below. You can also share this with others who may be in a similar situation. Good luck!