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How To Be Spontaneous In A Relationship (11 Exciting Ways)

Do you remember how fun it was when you first started dating your partner? You could almost feel the electric current whenever he was nearby. Now, you’ve been together for a while, you are beginning to get bored and it looks like you know everything about him.

It is very normal to feel bored in a long-term relationship. However, you might lose the spark if this boredom lasts for a long time. You might even think that you and your man are not suitable for each other. This is because there seems to be a constant lack of exciting things to make the union fun.

But there is a solution to this problem. You can introduce spontaneity into your relationship. Spontaneity is the opposite of habitual behavior. And it can, therefore, introduce a certain kind of unpredictability in your relationship—which, in turn, can help reignite the passion. On that note, we’ve listed below a few ways on how to be spontaneous in your relationship.

11 Ways On How To Be Spontaneous In A Relationship

1. Go on an unplanned trip

One of the best ways to practice spontaneity is to take an unplanned trip. Plan a weekend getaway to places you have never been to before. Or, if you know your partner is crazy about a certain place which he hopes to visit (but somehow, he keeps postponing), you don’t have to overthink it. Go ahead and book it. 

You can even keep it a secret from him until the day is almost due. What’s more, it is a bonus point if your guy has a good emotional attachment to the place. This will help reignite the spark as if you’re in a new relationship again.

2. Have spontaneous sex

With all relationships, it is very easy to get into a routine. This is likely to be true for your sexual relationship too. And, this can get so boring. This is because you know when you will have sex, where, and the styles. With time, your sex life might seem like work, rather than a means of intimacy and connection between you and your spouse. This is due to its predictability. 

My advice is to include spontaneity in your sex life by making the world your bedroom. It should not feel like a prison. The point is to find a place you and your partner can get intimate whenever the urge comes. 

Let it be on the spur of the moment. Also, get innovative. Be willing to try new sex positions to make the sexual experience more fun. By doing this constantly, you are gradually becoming spontaneous in your relationship.

3. Try new date ideas

Add spontaneity to your relationship by doing something new. Your days out shouldn’t always be the same old restaurant or cinema. Try new date ideas like organizing a cookout just for the two of you. You can also go horse riding in the countryside or have a picnic on the weekend. Also, you can have a couples massage, or go on a hot air balloon ride.

All these date ideas can add a certain difference to the relationship. There is always something different to look forward to. Again, it is another means to explore your partner’s interests and find new ones for yourself. This is a good way to spend time with your partner and remind you why you are in a relationship in the first place.

Once you get complacent about your partner, it will be very easy to lose interest in him. And this is why being spontaneous in your relationship is very important.

4. Be attentive

It is possible to have a great relationship if you pay attention. If your partner tells you his needs and wants, take time to listen and understand what he is saying, so that you can adequately supply that need or want if you can. 

For instance, your husband might have hinted that he needs a massage. Plan a surprise couples massage for the two of you. Remember, a listening partner is a caring one. And this is bound to keep things fresh in the union. It is the little things that make wonderful relationships. That is how to include spontaneity in your union.

5. Send an unexpected present just because you can

send an unexpected present just because you can

Everyone loves presents. For example, you are hard at work, and your day is not going too well. In walks the delivery man with a gift from your man. No doubt, you will feel cared for. That’s why it’s great to create those unexpected happy moments. 

You don’t have to wait for an event to send your partner a present. If you can send him one just because you can, why not jump at the prospect? This can keep your spontaneity leveled up.

6. Communication

Sometimes, spontaneity requires a willing partner. Imagine trying to have car sex in the name of spontaneity, only for your partner to shy away, for whatever reason. It is likely to cause a disagreement. That’s why communication is one of the essential elements in all relationships. 

Having a conversation with your partner on how to be spontaneous in your relationship seems like a great idea. 

Ensure that you can both find a fun way of doing things in the union. Let him understand the importance of spontaneity. When he does, you think things through and decide on creative ideas which will make your relationship more fun.

7. Take breaks from scheduled activities

If you happen to be living with your partner, it is easy for you to fall into a routine unconsciously. For instance, you do the laundry and the cooking while he takes out the trash and does the dishes. When doing this over the years, it is likely to become a habit. And habit, they say, is second nature. Unless a conscious effort is made to spice things up, that would be the routine.

Remember, spontaneity is the total opposite of planned and constant behavior. So perhaps, when your husband is unavailable to take the trash out, do it for him. He may realize your lovely gesture and return the favor by making dinner when you are late from work.

8. Be open-minded

Knowing how to be spontaneous in a relationship involves being open-minded. Anyone who views the world with a limited perspective can never practice spontaneity. This is because such a person will always check whether any new idea or activity matches his or her view. And where is the fun in that?

Learn to see the world through the eyes of a child. I am not saying be naive. I mean try to explore the world. Have fun. Be excited to have an adventure every now and then. It will make you a less boring person. Then, you can inject that fun self into your union.

9. Step out of your comfort zone

Sometimes, you are the biggest hindrance to the next level of excitement in your relationship. This is because you are used to a certain belief on how things should be done. But you need to step out of your comfort zone once in a while and try to do things differently. This is so that you can experience some fun in the relationship.

So, when faced with a spontaneous request, you can try saying yes. In the short term, this is a measure to battle against routine behavior. In the long run, however, you can try to be spontaneously intentional in a relationship. This is known as planned spontaneity.

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So if you are a planner by habit, you can try planning spontaneity to excite your man. In situations like this, it is advisable not to tell your spouse (who is spontaneously ahead) so that you can easily surprise him.

10. Be realistic

be realistic

If you want to be spontaneous in your relationship, you also have to consider being realistic. You need to consider several things, especially the schedule of your man, his likes and dislikes, etc. It is true that you may want to prevent a relationship rut. But you also need to consider that this is the real world. Bills need to be paid. Money needs to be made. 

When bringing new fun into life, go for realistic ideas. It would be unkind on your part to set a date to go mountain climbing when you know your man has a fear of heights. Although creative, your idea is not realistic. And somehow, it may portray you as the bad kind of unpredictable. In addition to that, the overall experience won’t be fun.

Again, you should not expect that your partner would take a holiday from his demanding job because you decided to be spontaneous.

11. Be flexible

One way of practicing spontaneity is being able to adjust. Your flexibility stems from your creativity. For instance, bad weather might delay a date. So, you should be flexible to take on new things and activities. At the end of the day, the aim is to spend quality time with each other. 

If things don't go according to plan, you should be able to bring up the fun and exciting things you can both do.


What does spontaneous mean in a relationship?

Being spontaneous in a relationship means being instant, random, or unplanned. This goes against routine behavior or habit. Spontaneous behavior promotes unpredictability which can bring an extra spark to your union.

How can I be spontaneous?

You can be spontaneous by being open-minded or exploring new ideas. You can also try having a child’s view of the world and quit waiting for the perfect moment. If it is fun and doable, don’t overthink it. Just do it!

Is spontaneity important in a relationship?

Spontaneity in a union is very important. This is because it creates a good kind of unpredictability. This, in turn, creates mystery. And once there is always something new to wonder about your partner, it is very difficult to get bored.

Can you create a spark in a relationship?

Yes, you can. However, this is based on how attracted you are to your partner. If the attraction isn’t there, it would be hard to build on it. But, if you are into your spouse, you certainly can.

How do I make my man more spontaneous?

If you want to make your man more spontaneous, you can try planning a surprise trip, having random sex, or even sending him a present out of the blue. Your man will realize your efforts and might even return the courtesy. Thus, gradually, he would become more spontaneous. Another way is to talk to him about it.

In Conclusion

In a nutshell, you can kill boredom in your relationship by introducing a little bit of spontaneity. You can do this by putting in the necessary effort and thinking outside the box. You can also try new things by going out of your comfort zone, and adhering to the ways listed above. 

Doing something for your spouse out of the blue can make him happy. And, this, in turn, will add more spark to your life.

I hope you enjoyed this article. Let me know what you think in the comments section. Kindly share this piece.


Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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