We hear a lot of noise about how cuddling, spooning to be precise, is a girl's favorite. For some reason, the general idea is that the challenges that come with sustaining this intimate position outweigh the benefits for guys. However, I beg to differ.
Is having to keep their arms in one place or risking one of them going numb fun? Maybe not. Neither is having to hold your pee or fart in or whatever the greater good of snuggling often requires of guys. But as for all that being greater than the benefits of spooning, I think not. Besides, there’s always more than one way to skin a cat, you know?
If you’re wondering why I’m so confident in my stance, here are some reasons I think your boyfriend would agree with.
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One of the best things about spooning is how our bodies tend to take over once we get into position. Before we get into how comfortable and pure the feeling of wrapping snuggly around someone you love/like/don’t hate is, let’s talk about why.
As you probably already know, spooning makes use of the largest organ of the human body, i.e., the skin. Irrespective of where you fall on the gender spectrum, cuddling in a position as intimate as spooning gets your body to release what they call the feel-good hormones.
It’s kind of hard to hate an action that causes oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin to course through your system at the same time. Often with little to no effort at that.
Oxytocin, the primary juice our body secretes when we spoon, is also known as the love hormone. If you haven’t guessed it already, it’s the connection between cuddling and physical intimacy. Men who are all about companionship love to spoon because few cuddling positions offer as much room for close contact as spooning.
Besides being an orgasm waiting to happen, spooning combines both the sensual feeling from bodily contact with emotional satisfaction to enhance the bond you already share. Little wonder it’s such a fav among couples who are still in the in-love phase of their relationship.
Still on the effects: cuddling, especially as spoons, also helps lower stress levels and ease pain over time. How ironic is that? Given the discomfort that often comes with the position guys typically take – the big spoon. When they can manage to find a position that works, like being the little spoon for a change, the following happens:
The secreted oxytocin manages their cortisol levels resulting in reduced stress and anxiety levels. Being touched while spooning gets dopamine, a natural painkiller going, while serotonin works to regulate the essentials from their mood to the sleep cycle.
In summary, in addition to relieving stress, pain, and anxiety, cuddling may also get your man in a good mood and keep him there.
Do guys like to spoon? Only the ones that love to relax in their partner’s arms. Or what do you think comes after being relieved of the day’s stress and anxiety? Your boyfriend is less likely to worry about the weight of the world and more likely to stay present and relax when you spoon.
On a physiological level, the effects of cuddling (such as reduced stress levels) are also said to lower blood pressure and improve heart health.
On the flip side, guys also tend to enjoy cuddling (spooning) because they know it soothes you just as much as it does them. While the thing about women liking cuddling more than men may be a myth, guys have enough ‘data’ to know at least that it works every time.
So, whenever they are in a zone they want their girlfriend to join them in, they know spooning is a reliable tool to get her there. This can be as handy for the loved-up fella as it is for the horny dude looking to get some.
Boys have this debt they feel they owe girls, one they have to pay to feel, well, like a man. Their instinctive need to protect us, for instance, can help bring the concept of big spoon and little spoon into perspective.
Say, for instance, as the big spoon (aka the person on the outside with his front to the little spoon’s back), gets to shield you from falling off the couch or bed. Or even the sacrifice of having to sustain the weight of your head on his arm and the general sense that you feel at home in his embrace.
Remember our little friend dopamine? His brain releases it in response to rewarding actions too, so in essence, cuddling helps a guy kill two (or more) birds with one stone.
Whether he is the big spoon or the little spoon, being one of the two bodies automatically means he’s half responsible for whatever pleasure cuddling brings. Besides the coziness and all the benefits they themselves derive from it, it’s an activity they know you’ll appreciate if you’re into spooning yourself.
If you’re anything like me who never passes on an opportunity to spoon, your eagerness to initiate it and not saying no when he does makes him feel all the more irresistible. Who doesn’t like to feel useful and wanted by their partner?
It should come as no surprise that the little spoon is not designated by gender. Many guys enjoy being the little spoon as much as we do, if not more. We know the more stereotypical positioning (men – big spoon vs women – little spoon) has unique benefits of the ahem, poking kind, but sometimes, the guy just wants to feel the love too.
An average guy wants to comfort and protect his girlfriend all right, but it's nice to drop the gender norm and experience affection as a recipient for a change. To be the protected instead of the protector, you know? The joys of occasionally relinquishing their ‘traditional’ big spoon duty for the more cocooned little spoon position is another reason why guys love spooning.
Cuddling with the right person is like being at a central bus stop that’s moments away from anywhere. La la land here can mean anything from a good night’s sleep to a dreamlike imaginary place where he gets to play out his lovey-dovey reverie safely.
Whether it’s the smitten guy waiting for the feel-good chemicals to sweep over him or the spent big spoon waiting to fall asleep post-sex. Or even the one still fantasizing about how the teasing down there may or may not end. A guy can always get something out of the spooning position no matter your relationship or the activity leading up to the cuddling.
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Being in bed with someone you are attracted to with your bodies intertwined is often underrated. And while many cuddling positions offer a means to do just that, spooning adds a unique advantage of having all the exciting areas within reach.
As the little spoon with your back turned to your man and his arm on your torso, he can easily get to all the sauce with minimal effort. Should he be so inclined, all he has to do is reach his free hand up or down, and foreplay is underway.
They may not always pursue them, but I have a feeling that just thinking about the prospects of cuddling in the spooning position makes an average guy like it a little more. There's a certain satisfaction that comes with just contemplating the possibilities, even if it doesn’t end in anything nearly as interesting.
Guys with intimacy issues may take being comfy with this level of physical touch as their signal for relationships worth pursuing. Something that shows they are close to, if not all the way in love. And for those with less romantic intentions, getting to the cuddling stage is, at the very least, a promising sign.
Speaking of, fear of intimacy (among other reasons that can make a guy dread making eye contact with you) can also explain why he likes spooning. Someone playing games, as well as the boy with feelings he isn’t ready to disclose yet, can cuddle and keep you at arm’s length at the same by being the big spoon.
You can’t tell his secrets by looking into his eyes, and he still gets all the rewards of cuddling you in that position. It’s also a legit alternative for couples with eye contact anxiety not to miss out on bonding in a bed outside of sex.
Now to the reason that comes to mind 99% of the time anyone hears, “do guys like spooning?” Remember how close I said this kind of touch is to la la land? It’s an even closer slip to its cutlery relative, good ole’ fork.
Men may not always go in thinking about sex. Hell, cuddling could even be a recovery position post-knack. Still, something about all those love juices running amok and the contact (oh, the contact…) With a bit of adjustment, the idea of how easily it can lead to a happy ending is one of the reasons guys don’t say no to spooning.
While we are on the subject, how would you rate your experience in the sack that ends in cuddling compared to those that don’t? If you are in a place where the more intimate ones place higher on your list than the others, chances are your partner is too.
Relationship status aside, sometimes you just want to lie there after and bask in the feeling a little longer in that position. Falling asleep or just relaxing with your skin still touching after great sex can make the whole thing feel more rounded than to literally come and go.
One of the best chances for an average guy to pour his heart out to his girlfriend without getting weird about it is during spooning. Even though he may not be able to see your face as the outside spoon, you can feel each other’s pulse so he can tell how you take it.
But then it isn’t always about talking even, on occasions when he gets to be the little spoon, there’s an unspoken admission of vulnerability to it, given how that deviates from the ‘norm.’
As I’ve hinted once or twice already, the fact that very little know-how is required for this cuddling position means it takes special efforts to mess it up. All one literally has to do is recreate what you see every day—spoons seamlessly fitting into each other.
The little spoon lies on their side and the bigger one snuggles up behind them, easy-peasy, with no pressure. In contrast with sex or even kissing, where skills are taken into account, spooning is child’s play.
We all take different things away from cuddling on an emotional level, depending on the relationship, mood, and whatnot. However, speaking purely physically, one benefit is a given when two people spoon whether they are a long-term couple or just friends, and that is warmth.
So yeah, a guy can like spooning for the simple reason that it’s functional when it’s cold. Although many guys probably wouldn’t spoon with someone they are not feeling warm inside in one way or another anyway.
There’s a lot more power in the intimate activity that is spooning than just the contact and the emotional undertone. Something about the proximity engages all your senses, including the olfactory. So yeah, maybe the hair getting in their face, especially when the little spoon keeps it long, is a bit uncomfortable, but it’s worth it if it smells good.
Needless to say, that also means punishment for him otherwise, so maybe try not to be the reason he hates cuddling? I digress. The point is, a guy who can’t get enough of how you smell is more likely to enjoy spooning with you.
Research shows that not only do guys love cuddling and stuff, but it’s also actually a preferred factor in long-term relationships. And it makes sense. Couples who snuggle like that regularly are more likely to work out their issues than hold on to resentments towards each other.
Naturally, the longer you get to uphold that culture, the better your odds. But don’t take my word for it. Experts say couples who spoon and enjoy it are really comfortable with the closeness they share, and with emotional intimacy comes what? You guessed it, trust.
Some things in life are not to be explained, so it’s always difficult to try. If you ask some guys what it is about cuddling that makes them like (or not mind) it, they can’t pinpoint it for sure. They could dislike the elements individually, like hugging or having someone else’s breath on them but combined, it just… feels good.
There’s the functionality angle of having a warm body next to you. The joys of thinking about the prospects. The easy switch from cuddling to sex position in three seconds flat… of course, it feels good.
Finally, yes, some guys genuinely could not care less about spooning but are always down for it nonetheless because their girlfriend enjoys it. These are the boyfriend materials we speak of, men who put their partner's needs above their own like its second nature.
I wouldn’t automatically assume this reason means he loves you or is the right fit for you, though. Half the time, it’s because they were raised right, and a gentleman never leaves his lady hanging. The other half it’s down to the fact that your needs align, and he stands to benefit from dancing to your tunes.
Depends on the guy you ask. Some see it as an intimacy-enhancing activity with which they can deepen their connection with their partner, and in turn, their relationship. On the flip side, guys on the other end of the scale see it as a relatively effortless sex position. Then there are, of course, the inbetweeners, so again, it depends on who you ask.
Guys generally don’t like to turn girls down, so if you’re together somehow and you ask to cuddle, they probably won’t say no. They will, however, try to get out of it more times than not by making excuses if they don’t like you. If he hardly turns down your attempts to cuddle or initiates it himself, chances are he likes you.
Though the stereotyping makes it seem like cuddling is a feminine preference, guys also enjoy it every bit as much as girls do. Even more, studies show cuddling is closely associated with long-term relationship satisfaction for men. And many of the guys who are indifferent about snuggling would happily do it if their partner asks.
Cuddling is an intimate act that causes the release of feel-good chemicals, including the so-called love hormone oxytocin, so yes, repeated sessions can fast-track their getting attached.
Biologically, it’s kind like like how dads bond with their newborns by cuddling. And from a romantic standpoint, something about the vulnerability of being in such close contact without engaging in something sexual also helps.
The big spoon is the person whose front is turned to their cuddling partner’s back. That positioning makes it so their privates are close or in contact with the little spoon’s bum, so it’s an easy switch from cuddling to getting it on if they are so inclined.
So, do guys like spooning? After listing 21 reasons why I think they do, I still maintain it depends on the guy you ask. Then again, the best of them will respond based on what aligns with their needs or just out of politeness, so more times than not, the answer will be in the affirmative. As usual, let me know what you think in the comments and share the post if you enjoyed it.
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