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Different Sense of Humor In Relationships (13 Things to Do If You And Your Partner Have A Different Sense of Humor)

by Sonya Schwartz

Imagine having the perfect gentleman, he has all the good qualities you want in a man. But there is one problem. He does not share your sense of humor. And that should be a big deal-breaker. 

Research suggests that humor has a positive effect on marriages. Even though it is underrated, humor is everything, especially in a romantic relationship. If your partner doesn’t share your sense of humor, it means that you won’t be laughing much in the relationship. And where is the fun in that?  

Let’s say you are quick-witted and a sarcastic person. No doubt, you love sarcastic jokes. And when you tell such jokes, your man looks at you like you are speaking a foreign language. Then you have to explain the joke. Yet, even after the explanation, he still doesn’t get it and all you get is a sympathetic laugh.

How can you spend a lifetime with someone who just doesn’t understand your humor? What is the way forward if you and your partner have a different sense of humor? Continue reading for some vital tips.

13 Things To Do If You And Your Partner Do Not Share The Same Sense Of Humor

1. Know the type of humor you are into

Is it possible for couples with a different sense of humor to live together and still enjoy each other’s jokes? The answer is a big yes! One study revealed that a shared sense of humor is important for any successful relationship. However, you both need to know the type of humor you enjoy.

There are six different types of humor. These include physical, surreal, self-deprecating, wordplay, bodily and dark humor. In order to better appreciate and relate to the type of humor your partner is into, you need to understand your own. That way, it can be easy to balance it out. And you can appreciate jokes from his perspective.

2. Find that same comedic wavelength

find that same comedic wavelength

Once you both understand the type of humor you both enjoy, you then need to engage in activities where you can both enjoy comedic wavelengths of equal level. Try to explore all the various types of humor. You could watch comedy movies or go to comedy shows where all six types of humor will be showcased. 

As a couple, you are bound to agree on one of the six types of humor. It is noteworthy that this requires effort, but the laughter and connection at the end of the day are worth it. Also, this provides an opportunity for you to spend time exploring more comedy with your partner. 

3. Randomly act weird

To spice up a relationship, try to promote happiness. You can do that by showing humor. One way to achieve this is to randomly act weird. It is bound to create laughs. It doesn’t mean make it a point to always be intentionally silly. The humorous part lies in the randomness of your acts.

Don’t always take yourself seriously. Sometimes, try to have a playful pillow fight with your spouse.

4. Watch a comedy show together

Almost everyone has a sense of humor. It is just a matter of knowing what appeals to them. You can find out about this by watching a comedy show together. Observe the things he finds funny. That will help you to know how to create banter.

 And, if you have tried that for some time, and it doesn’t seem to be working, do not give up. Look at the bigger picture. You are spending time with the love of your life. And who knows, you may just find other good comedy channels you like.

5. Joke about yourself

We all love people who don't take themselves too seriously. Sometimes, by laughing at your flaws, you help prevent conflict between you and your partner—as opposed to always defending your weaknesses, which could lead to more problems in the relationship. Again, by mocking your flaws, you harm no one but yourself if the joke comes out flat.

I mean, we all make mistakes, so mocking your flaws is bound to make you go easy on yourself. Again, self-deprecating jokes are a good place to start when considering having a good sense of humor. From there, you can move on to the other types of humor.

6. Learn to be playful

Give in to your childish spirits. When you’re with your boyfriend, choose a place where the two of you can be playful without remorse. Instances include going to an amusement park, building a snowman together during winter, or even a paying visit to the zoo. Anywhere that allows you two to be happy as kids again.

7. Do not be mean

No matter how much it makes people laugh, it is wrong to make a mean joke about your partner. If you’ve been with him for some time, then you'll know what he likes, hates or what he is insecure about. The onus, therefore, lies on you not to make fun of things he considers so dear at your expense.

Different things have different meanings to people. The fact that you are together does not mean he will laugh at the same things as you. A better way to know how to navigate through to safe grounds when telling a joke about your spouse is for you to observe his body language. Does he encourage you to make fun of him? Or does he have a look of discontent? 

Again, you can both create inside jokes. Inside jokes are jokes that are only exclusive to you and your partner. It could be a shared incident or a story that is only known to both of you. That way, you can elicit a smile from your spouse.

8. Do your best not to laugh at your partner, but with him

do your best not to laugh at your partner but with him

If you want to have a shared sense of humor with your partner, it is better if you laugh with him, and not at him. Laughing at him is bound to make him insecure. However, when you create a joke you both find humorous, your relationship is likely to have a prolonged future.

9. When joking, consider what is important to your partner

It is also best that when joking, you consider what is important to your partner. By that I mean, know what not to joke about where your partner is concerned. Everyone has his or her beliefs and has had different experiences growing up. It is, therefore, no wonder that what is comedic to one person will not be the same for another.

Let’s say your husband does not like it when you touch him with wet hands. However, every time he voices out his discomfort, you laugh at him and call him a big baby. Yet, you still touch him with wet hands, which is wrong. This act is bound to lead to quarrels in the relationship. 

If he does not appreciate you making jokes about something he considers dear, then immediately stop it and apologize. It could be that he does not find those things funny, or he may have had a bad experience concerning what you are making fun of.

10. If things are not working out, find a way to laugh about it

Sometimes, things may not go as planned. Instead of getting worked up about it, trade your frustrations for laughs. Laughter, they say, is the best medicine after all. For instance, your husband has this habit of sleeping in front of the T.V instead of putting it off and going to the bedroom to sleep. 

You always complain about it because, inasmuch as it is a waste of electricity, he also complains of having pains in his back. And this is due to poor sleeping posture. When he sleeps in front of the T.V again, instead of yelling at him, you can make a joke about it. You could say something like “it is men like you who make women like me nagging old maids”. 

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This is bound to create a positive reaction. You have made your displeasure obvious, yet you presented it in a dry sense. The result is that there is no argument. And that is helpful to the future of the relationship.

11. Flirt with him

Women usually flirt with guys they find attractive and the other way round. Studies show that most women are into guys who do dry humor. Dry humor or deadpan humor is when a person says funny things with a straight face on. Most guys use their dry sense to their advantage when trying to flirt with ladies.

As a couple, you can try recreating how you both flirted during the early stages of the relationship. You can playfully banter and tease each other. The laughs generated because of those flirty words are very important to the overall strength of the relationship.

12. Try sarcasm

In trying to reach that comedic wavelength with your partner, try adding a little sarcasm to the mix. Sometimes, it is a bit hard not to laugh at a sarcastic joke. This is because sarcasm comes with a certain dry sense which is hard to ignore. This is not to say make snide remarks or become a cynical person. 

This is because when sarcasm is used too much by a person, he or she is viewed in a certain light. And being entertaining may not be one of them. 

13. Find the funny in everyday life and laugh about it

find the funny in everyday life and laugh about it

There is always something fun happening in our everyday life. Sometimes, it is only a matter of focus. Not everyone can see that. Laughing at these things says a lot about your creativity, and ability to consider perspectives other people may not see. This ability to locate the funny aspect in everyday situations can have your partner also share your sense of humor too.

FAQs

Is laughter a sign of attraction? 

One way a person can exhibit interest in you is through their laughter. Laughter portrays a good connection. The merrier the laughing, the closer the connection the person may be having with you.

How do you diffuse tension in a relationship? 

If you want to diffuse tension in a relationship, you have to do the following: find common ground, agree to disagree, allow a welcoming atmosphere for communication. You can also do your best to remain calm and respectful when it looks like the conversation is heated. 

Make sure to attack the root of the problem and not the branches. Again, learn to choose the battles you engage in. You don’t always have to fight every time. Sometimes, for peace to prevail, ignore some things.

How can I be really funny?

In order to be funny, you need to first learn about context. Different words mean different things to different people, so know your audience. This is so that you do not end up being offensive, instead of humorous when telling jokes. Also, be very natural. Be relatable. Tell jokes about everyday situations, however in an awkward way. 
You can also intentionally misread a situation. You can also make use of sarcasm, however, do not overuse it else you will be seen as cynical.

What attracts a man to a woman at first sight? 

According to research, these are qualities that attract a man to a woman: charisma, youth, personality, intimate conversation, and good odor. At first sight, a man is likely to be attracted to the physical features of a woman, per his preference of which features he loves to see on women. Or, he is likely to be attracted to her personality and smile.

What are signs of attraction?

Some signs of attraction include mirrored behavior, eye contact, change of tone when talking to you, flirting, teases, etc. Studies also suggest that when someone is attracted to you, his non-verbal cues say a lot. For instance, when talking to you, he turns his body towards you.

Conclusion

In a nutshell, the above points constitute actions you should take in order to share the same sense of humor with your partner. Humor is very important because all types of relationships require it. It spreads positivity. Furthermore, it is good to spend your life with someone who understands and can relate to your sense of humor.

I hope you enjoyed this article about different senses of humor in relationships. Let me know your thoughts. You can do that by commenting in the comments section. And please share this article.

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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