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Female Led Relationship (The Unsexy Guide to a Sexy Concept)

by Sonya Schwartz

Do you think you might be in a female led relationship because you find yourself taking control of the relationship you're in?

Perhaps you want to know how you can make sure you end up in a female led relationship? Or maybe you're simply curious about these kind of relationships and want to find out more?

If you feel that you resonate with any of these questions, then you are in the right place. These types of relationships are becoming increasingly popular and can be extremely sexy, so it's definitely worth knowing about them.

In this article, we are going to take a good look into what a female led relationship is, why more people are starting to want to be in a female led relationship, the ups and downs of these types of relationships and the rules you need to follow to maintain a successful female led relationship. I'm here to share a tell-it-all, unsexy guide to a sexy concept.

What Are Female Led Relationships?

The female led relationship is a relatively new concept, since it's only in relatively recent history that women have been allowed to work, be treated equally and live independent lives. There isn't really one definitive definition of what a female led relationship (FLR) is, and there are many different types that we take a look at later on in greater detail. However, the basis of a female led relationship is that the woman in the relationship is the most dominant of partners. The woman makes the majority of decisions within the relationship and takes responsibility for what would traditionally be the male's role in a relationship. Traditional gender roles are swapped or are fluid, depending on the type of FLR, and the woman in the partnership becomes head of the household. Normally, the man in the relationship will take the traditional role of a woman - they might look after the kids, do the household chores and be more submissive.

Why Do Some Women Want To Be In A Female Led Relationship?

Why Do Some Women Want To Be In A Female Led Relationship?

A lot of women want to be in a female led relationship because they can choose how they can live their life, rather than trying to fit into a life that their partner wants. They don't have to adhere to gender roles and stay home, look after kids, and make the house perfect for when their man gets home. Instead, they can focus on their career and enjoy a driven and fulfilled life whilst having the security of knowing their partner is at home doing all the jobs that should traditionally be their job. Alpha female women, in particular, want to be in an FLR.

Why Do Some Men Want To Be In A Female Led Relationship?

Why Do Some Men Want To Be In A Female Led Relationship?

Although a lot of men still feel like they want to be the one in control, some men really like to be dominated by a woman. Some men don't want to take responsibility or be in control, and therefore an FLR is the perfect choice for them. Some men also prefer staying home, raising children, cooking and doing traditional female duties - a female led relationship means that they can do this without feeling the pressure to be a decision maker or control the more 'manly' aspects of life. In addition to this, a lot of men are interested in being dominated by a woman in the bedroom. The sex life in a female led relationship is normally exceptionally hot and kinky.

The Different Types of Female Led Relationships Explained

A female led relationship can differ in intensity, and there are usually four different types. The relationship can move between different types, but normally a partnership finds where it's comfortable being and stays there. We're going to take a look at the different extremity levels in an FLR. This might help you to categorize the relationship you're in, or decide where you and your partner would like to be.

Low-Intensity FLR

In a low-intensity FLR, the man in the relationship will ask the woman to take control in several ways. The woman will, therefore, take control in these ways. However, because the man has requested these changes in the woman, the woman isn't in control of the relationship herself.

Moderate-Intensity FLR

In a moderate-intensity FLR, the woman in the relationship will take control of most things when it comes to the partnership because she knows that she is benefitting from it. However, she still wants her partner to have control over some aspects of the relationship and will let her partner know what he should be taking care of.

High-Intensity FLR

In a high-intensity FLR, the woman is defined as the absolute head of the household and she takes control and makes decisions in the relationship. The traditional gender roles between the partners will switch, and the woman will be the one who works and provides for the family, whilst the man will be focused on childcare, cooking, cleaning and providing a nice environment for his partner to come back to at the end of the day. The woman may also dominate the man in the bedroom.

Extreme FLR

In an extreme FLR, the woman in the relationship will take control of absolutely everything in the relationship, and also in the man's personal life. The man will be submissive, and the woman will dominate him. This might even include taking control of the man's money, social engagements and schedule. This type of FLR could be considered controlling and abusive if it isn't consensual between the partners.

The Benefits Of A Female Led Relationship

The Benefits Of A Female Led Relationship

1 . No Power Struggle

When a couple enter into an FLR, they agree on their role and on who is the dominating character within their relationship. Therefore, the power struggle that many relationships have to deal with is completely eliminated. The couple knows where they stand with each other, and instead of trying to beat each other all the time and struggle to gain power over the relationship, they will both have their own duties and stick to them. In this way, they are working together to create their best life.

2 . Less Pressure On The Man

In the majority of traditional relationships, the man's role is to provide for the family and make sure that the woman he is with and the children have the best life possible. He is supposed to be the provider. A lot of men, believe it or not, actually feel a lot of pressure to live up to these traditional expectations, especially if they aren't business-minded, or they aren't driven by money. In an FLR, these expectations are taken away from the man, and the woman (who actually wants to be dominant and be the provider) takes on his role. This means that the man will be released from feeling the pressure of having to live up to certain expectations that he won't be able to.

3. Better Sex

Most men take great satisfaction from being able to please their woman in bed, and they feel sexually satisfied when they provide their woman with great sex. In most FLR relationships, the main focus when the pair gets intimate is to pleasure the woman. So, the man in the partnership will feel incredible, knowing he has given his woman sexual satisfaction. A lot of men also love being dominated during sex - it's kinky. In an FLR, most of the time, the woman will be dominating during sex, as well as in everyday life. The sex life in an FLR will be hotter than most traditional relationships.

4 . Better Communication

In an FLR, the two people involved will have to establish clear and honest communication with each other from the outset, so that both of them know the structure their relationship will have. They need to have good communication straight away to set out the different roles they will both be undertaking, and to establish boundaries within the relationship to make sure everything runs smoothly for both of them. Just because women are lead roles in this type of relationship, doesn't mean that they love their partner any less. Most women, no matter how alpha female they are, still feel naturally compassionate and maternal, therefore, they will want to make sure they are listening to their partner's feelings and that their man is happy. Therefore, the woman leading the relationship will always encourage the man to share how he feels so she can figure it out and make everything better.

Better communication within a relationship also means there will be a lot fewer arguments because everything is always clearly and honestly talked about.

5 . Increases The Focus Of Family Happiness

When both people in the partnership have clearly defined roles, it is easier to have an increased focus on the happiness of the entire family. The woman will know what her duties are towards the family, and so will the man. Together, they can not only make sure everything runs smoothly in the family, by doing their duties to the best of their abilities, but they can also continue doing the things that they know make the entire family happy, and discuss the things that maybe aren't working out so well. With such clear communication and such finely detailed roles, the couple should be able to increase the happiness of the family and enjoy the smooth running of everyday family life.

The Possible Down Sides Of A Female Led Relationship

The Possible Down Sides Of A Female Led Relationship

1 . The Man Finds It Hard Not Being The One In Control

Although a man might seem really into having a FLR with a woman when they first start dating, he might not have realized the true FLR meaning, and therefore later on in the relationship, he might struggle not being able to make decisions for himself or the relationship. Men are also naturally programmed to provide for women, as we touched on earlier, and so he might find it difficult to hold back the natural urge of wanting to provide and be an alpha male. He might also feel like he is being controlled too much.

2 . Men Might Not Be As Good As Taking Up The Traditional Women's Role

Although certain men really want to stay at home, do housework and take care of the family, they might simply not be good at it. From a female perspective, the woman might take a look at the way in which her man is doing things when it comes to aspects of a traditional women's role, and she might disagree. This could be a point of contention between the man and the woman in the relationship because after all, the woman agreed to stick to the role of being the decision maker and earner.

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When a man realizes that he isn't very good at filling a more submissive role, he might feel frustrated with himself that he isn't very good at being neither dominant nor submissive.

3 . People Might Judge You

Other people might judge your relationship and think that it's a little bit strange that a woman is the one in complete control. Women in this situation probably won't find the judging too difficult to deal with, but men might find it hard to know that other men are aware that he is being dominated by his partner.

4 . It Might Result In Your Man Not Being Happy

A man may really enjoy being in a FLR for a while, but he might start to feel too controlled and too restricted from doing things he wants to do, as time goes on. If the woman in the relationship is thriving at and really enjoying being the dominating character and the controller, the man might feel like he can't be open with her. So, he will keep his mouth shut and hide his feelings - this could make him seriously unhappy.

5 . You Might Start To Feel Like A Mother To Your Partner

It's no secret that women love to be nurturing, caring and are instinctively maternal, so you might find yourself being all of these things to your partner. It's pretty normal to feel a little maternal over your partner because you care about them and you want them to be happy and feel nurtured. However, in a FLR, because the woman is providing for the man as well as caring for him, the woman might start to feel more and more like a mother figure to him. The relationship might weirdly merge into feeling like a mother-son relationship - this will definitely feel wrong.

Rules You Need To Follow To Have A Successful Female Led Relationship

1 . Talk Openly

2 . Set Roles

3 . Review How Things Are Going Every 6 Months

4 . Ignore The People Who Judge You

5 . Make Sure The Relationship Is Still Loving

6 . Watch Out For Negative Use Of Power

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

19 comments on “Female Led Relationship (The Unsexy Guide to a Sexy Concept)”

  1. i never realized i was in an flr even though i was a stay at home dad , not even when we started having other men having sex with her and me helping in anyway she wanted but i realized that i naturally submit to some women and they seem to know that i do

  2. My husband introduced me to the idea of FLR when we were dating. I had never even heard of the term or acronym before, so I was absolutely shocked. I wasn't shocked because I didn't like the idea. I was shocked because this is exactly how I had been feeling after my 2nd divorce and 2 or 3 long term boyfriends had not worked out. I kept meeting and marrying men who wanted to live a traditional lifestyle but they were horrible at making decisions about finances or vehicle purchases, school districts for kids... what's that?

    After being single for about 5yrs I found my own confidence and figured out that I wanted to be the leader in my next relationship, but I had no idea where to find such a man. I struggled to date and found myself disappointed more often than not. Men who claimed to be submissive were really just looking for someone to get their kink on with. They were the same boorish beer guzzlers who squandered every paycheck and rented a 1 bedroom apartment.

    After actively searching for about 2yrs, I found my husband on a dating site. His profile page was very detailed and very well written. About half way through his loquaciously written profile, I was catching a vibe and trying to "read between the lines" that he was submissive and was looking for an Alpha woman, but he's quite the wordsmith.
    He was extremely subtle in how he described the type of woman he was looking for. He used phrases and words that would appear quite normal to any submissive or vanilla women, but to a more confident or Alpha woman these were very subtle clues. Almost tiny whispers in his writing, and you had to be tuned in and listening to catch his clues. I was impressed that he had taken the time think about it that much, and how he used such subtle wording to describe his ideal woman and relationship.

    I approached him and we ended up dating for 2yrs. I asked him to marry me in 2017 and he accepted my proposal immediately. He's all man in the streets, and my tender submissive boy in the sheets. He changes the oil in the cars, fixes the broken toilet, cleans the gutters around the house, etc.. He's quite the handyman and extremely intelligent. He's so sweet to me. He does all the cooking and laundry. He closes the hooks on my bras and puts them in mesh laundry bags so they don't get torn in the washer!!!! He irons and presses my work pants and hangs all my clothes. He's got a great job but I do make about $50k more per year than he does. The money has never been an issue. It all goes into joint checking and savings and we're partners about it.

    He's a fantastic lover. He's not overly endowed, actually he's on the small side of "normal" but I'm small too so it works fine. His willingness to be open and submit to me has given me so much more confidence in the bedroom. I was a little apprehensive to use a strapon at first. 5yrs later... he's my little butt boy. I'm in charge of that butt. It's all mine!! We both love it! The power exchange as a woman... to be on top and to control his pleasure... or pain. I can tell you it's quite a turn on ladies.

    1. It is amazing that you both have it figured out. Congratulations! I am curious if you both had contemplated opening your relationship to a bull or a male to dominate you when your kink sways toward being submissive? Also, you've mentioned he is on the smaller side, and you use his butt for your pleasure. Have you taken advantage of this state of affairs to engage in Small Penis Humiliation (SPH)?

      1. Oh gosh no! I would never sleep with another man. We made a pact with each other from the beginning, that we would always be monogamous. No 3-somes. No swinging. No other people, period.

        I would never humiliate him to even suggest it. I love him dearly. I also have absolutely no desire to sleep around with other men and find the idea repulsive. He's all I need. Yes, we have discussed it. We talk about a lot of things in our relationship. Neither of us would ever consider introducing another person to our bedroom, and yes I know he was being honest when he said that was not on his list if things to try.

        I think that we must have a very different type of FLR than most. Most of what we have read on the internet is kind of disgusting.

    2. I would love to be in a relationship like that where she's the dominant one I stay home take care of the house she uses a strap-on that's the only sex that I hope she would prefer

  3. Women in FLR marriages will often come to need sexual relations outside their primary. The pressure on them to always be confident and decisive both at work and at home is often very great. They may turn to outside relationships to offset the unsexy "maternal" feelings they sometimes have for their husbands. The sex outside their marriage is often fun and exciting without the stress and responsibility they may experience within the marriage. The sex allows them to be whatever kind of woman they want (often it's being vulnerable and submissive) and it refreshes and renews a woman's spirit so she can return to her beloved FLR marriage a stronger and contented alpha wife. When combined with honesty, understanding and good communication, it seems to work for many without threatening the primary FLR relationship. Very liberal and progressive toward a female centric world!

    1. I’m a highly educated, highly successful, athletic male seeking a flr partner. I was married for fourteen years to a flr partner and would love to repeat that experience. It’s the very best....
      If you’re interested please.... Bill

    2. Would love to have a relationship like that where she is the head of the household I submit to her totally she can date and have sex with whomever she wants and still come home and be the dominant one

    3. the fool for Kids and homme the Lover for the best sex. So the husband is a dreamer , with female led he has become just a servant for the family, his dominating wife is entitled to make any decision, she has intercourse and joy with the Lover and the fool (tiny weak husband) gets in return for a lost wife a caring Mother

  4. Single Male 63 looking for a partner for the rest of my life. Living in SoCal looking for a FLR to adore and submit to. Communication is key.. No secrets.. Clean slate start to write the next chapter.

  5. Max I'm 61 and live in England I would love a FLR.
    I don't mean whips and chains that's not a relationship I mean a real reationship.
    I am 5,8 inch and was married 30 years I am loyal.
    And fun feel free to send a message.

  6. I have spent the last 11 years in a wife led marriage. I love it. She always has final say and makes final decisions. She does consult me on some issues before deciding. She has total financial control, and that really cements the relationship, more than sex. I like being dependent to her. She is a beta female but came to like the control of everything, no disputes, final say, and managing the money. Everything is in her bank account. I direct deposit to her and I like it. She has done a great job. Sex was always about her before WLM and so for her it is about the same, I go down on her when ever she wants. But she only let me orgasm 9 times last year. This year, she has not let me have any. I love her for it, she says I am more energetic and obedient when I am denied, the longer denial the better she likes it. I would not change one thing, other than discipline. She does not use physical punishment for correction or discipline. She said a spanking Was probably a good thing and deserved but it is not for her. 🤗

    1. I'm glad it works for you. I identify as submissive but I am also a realist. Women (and men) are not perfect. What if she has a gambling problem and since she has all the money...

      I am also offput about how the wife relishes demeaning her HUSBAND (not a hubby). The whole female supremacist thing is propaganda (probably written by a male). No where in history has a women been treated by a man the way supremacists want to treat men. There are exceptions of course, but not on a societal level the way the supremacists want it to be now or the future. Best wishes I am glad it works for you.

  7. Where can an mature educated man find a FLR without going to some of these 'sleazy' sights? Not looking for some dungeon thing, but something more substantial.

  8. FLR's are usually sought after by older women who have been passed around by bad boys/Chad and have aged out of the sexual marketplace. So they find some beta simp who is also desperate for a relationship. FLR's are not ideal and have no longer term stability.

  9. Jenny sounds like she sure has this figured out right! I've been in a Female Led Relationship for six years now. We began into this already while we were dating, so my fiance (at that time), and I were able to work out things with less pressure. We knew we both wanted me to submit to her from the very beginning. After we married, my income began being direct deposited straight into a joint bank account, but we set it up so I would have to ask her to sign if I wanted access to it. She has put me on a weekly allowance however. After this, my vehicle was sold, and the dishwasher was removed from the kitchen of our house. The money from my vehicle was handed to her, and I now use transit, or rely on her for rides.

    I do all the housework, sewing, dishes, bathrooms, you know the routine. There is nothing more invigorating for me than to have her order me to go vacuum the living room, and then report back to her. I've taken three sewing classes since we have married, and can hem a skirt now.

    My wife will often lend me out to her single friends, and I will go to their house, or apartment on a Saturday for example, and spend all day cleaning their place for them. Often this will be while she, and her friend go shopping at a mall, or hang out at a coffee shop. As a word of advice to all the submissive men out there. If you are having trouble learning domestic work, apply at the housekeeping departments of hotels in your city. You will get a job in no time, and believe me after six months of cleaning rooms you will know how to make a bed quickly without wrinkles, and scrub down a bathtub. Trust me you will also know your way around a vacuum cleaner. This trick worked for me.

    We never argue anymore. If I ask to watch the television, and she tells me I can't then it simply stays off. There is no point in asking twice, so there is no argument. My wife will also tell me what clothes I will be wearing for the day.

    To teach me patience a week ago, my wife booked an appointment to get highlights put in her hair, went to another place for a manicure, and then went to numerous clothing stores afterwards. I spent a long time sitting in the hair salon wearing a mask, waiting on her, and all there was were women's hairstyle magazines to look at. Then I had to stay inside every clothing store, and be interested as she asked my opinion on various outfits, and dresses, then again wait patiently at the manicure place. This was all paid for out of our 'joint' bank account. Would I have had this opportunity to learn about patience if I were the head of the household? No I sure wouldn't have, and I appreciate my wife teaching me this.

    I'm a very tightly controlled, submissive, happily henpecked husband; and I wouldn't trade my wife, or her authority for anything now. I honestly don't understand why more men wouldn't want what I have, and sign up for this too. I get no decisions, I know how much money I'm allowed to spend, and I know who the authority is in the house. I love it!

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