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Dating Someone Out Of Your League (9 Ways To Manage It)

by Sonya Schwartz

Dating can be such a turbulent experience for many. What can make matters worse, is if we are very insecure about ourselves or if we are dating someone who we think is way out of our league. 

Being out of your league can mean having a higher social status or, simply, your belief that they are better than you in some way. Those ways can be looks, financial standing, or a better career trajectory. 

9 Ways To Deal With A Relationship Imbalance

Here, we look at ways to date someone out of your league that you either believe wouldn’t look your way, or when in a relationship, means you are constantly grappling with self-doubt. You may feel that they are always looking for someone else that you would have thought was better than you. 

Our suggestions, however, help you get over that so that you are in relationships with people that you may have previously thought are leagues above you.

Ultimately, you must remember that thinking that way about relationships and others being leagues ahead of you in some way, is just all in your mind. No one dates another person thinking ‘they’re beneath me’ - and, if they do, they’re not worth dating in the first place. 

How To Date A Person Out Of Your League?

1. Work On Your Low Self-Esteem

One of the reasons that you believe, and probably have believed for a long time now, that you are dating someone leagues ahead of you is down to your self-esteem. The likelihood is that you have a low opinion of yourself and it will help your relationship with each other if you start to build up your confidence. 

Believing in yourself and your good qualities will help this no end and make you feel like you have better self-worth than previously. If people give you a compliment, believe them. Do not dismiss it. You are a better person than you think you are and believing that will help your relationships infinitely. 

2. Focus On Their Flaws

focus on their flaws

It can be helpful, when we are in awe of a person we want to date or are dating, to remember their flaws. Everyone has them so try to zone in on them at times you are having a big wave of self-doubt as to why a person would want to date you who is leagues ahead of you in every way. 

Remember that there will be many areas that you are actually better than your potential love interest and this is key to remember if you want your relationship to be a success. Without realizing this, you will have a relationship full of imbalance which can cause big issues in the future. 

3. Realize They Are Human

Dating someone out of your league can be an intimidating prospect, however, it can be helpful to remember that that person is human. They most likely won’t think that they are as great as you think they are as people rarely have that amount of self-confidence or self-belief. 

They too will be looking out for other people to be in a happy partnership with and will be all too aware of their own insecurities that they may find it difficult to believe that you want to be with them. 

4. Remember They Are Into You

It is essential to acknowledge the fact that people will only date you if they are into you. It can be so easy sometimes to convince ourselves, particularly when we have low self-confidence, that our partners are with us out of pity. 

That simply isn’t the case. If you are with someone that you believe to be leagues above you, the likelihood is, that they could date other people. However, they’re not, they have made the active decision to be with you. 

5. Concentrate On Why You Work

Another way that you can give yourself the belief necessary for a happy relationship is to focus on why you work as a couple. It is a very natural reaction for many of us to focus on why we don’t work and that it can often become a self-fulfilling prophecy that we break up. Break that cycle and zone in why you have such a great dynamic. 

6. Give Them Lots Of Attention

Just because you think you are dating someone who is better than you, doesn’t mean that they need less love and attention than anyone else. Bearing that in mind, shower them with affection and your true feelings towards them so they too can have confidence in the future of your partnership and it really works. 

7. Don’t Listen To Others’ Judgment

It could well be that one of you is much better looking than the other or one of you has a much better job. This will often attract the judgment of other individuals even though it has nothing to do with them and is none of their business. 

Try not to listen to that judgment, therefore. It can be easy to buy into it and believe it, without remembering all the good that there is between you and your partner. 

8. Remember What You Have To Offer

Just because there may be an imbalance elsewhere in your relationship, one way that you can date someone out of your league successfully, is to remember what you have to offer and why that is so great for your partner. This can help enormously with your self-belief and confidence. 

9. Communicate Any Problems

communicate any problems

Any partnership will do well if the two individuals in it can communicate properly. However, this is a particular key in situations where one person is incredibly insecure. Therefore, when you come across an issue with your partner, remember to address it head-on. In that manner, you can support each other and work through problems as and when they occur. 

FAQs

Can you date someone out of your league?

You can absolutely date someone out of your league as long as you realize that you need to have confidence in why they are with you. There will always be things that you are better at than them, and you need to remember them as well as know that they are with you because you are good enough for them. 

What does it mean when someone says your way out of my league?

Many will say that another person is way out of their league when they believe that their potential love interest is better than them in various ways. Those ways can include looks, confidence, money, career trajectory - amongst many other things. 

How do I stop liking someone out of my league?

It can be hard to stop liking someone that you believe is out of your league. However, it can be beneficial to concentrate on their flaws and realize why you may not be a very good match in the long term. Looking at those issues can help you come to terms with why the relationship would not work. 

Can a guy be out of your league?

A guy can be out of your league if you let him be so. If you put him high on a pedestal, and make him out to be almost superhuman at times, you will find that he is always out of your league and unattainable. Everyone has their faults, even the guy you are crushing on. 

Can a girl be out of your league?

A girl can be out of your league if you believe them to be better than you in terms of looks or any other issue you put heavy importance on. However, everyone has their flaws, so it can be a good idea to focus on them and remember them so you realize that the girl of your dreams is not perfect. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Dating A Person Out Of Your League - Summary

Perhaps the ultimate thing to remember if you think you are dating a person out of your league is to improve the confidence you have in yourself. If you don’t, you either won’t stand a chance with that person in the first place or, if you are in a partnership with them already, your insecurities can be too big for the partnership to survive. 

Work on your own self-confidence therefore and you should find that you are able to cope with any self-doubt in the future. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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