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The Pros And Cons Of Dating An Alpha Male (5+ Fiery Traits)

by Sonya Schwartz

Alpha male characters are all the craze for young women, especially in teenage romance novels. But the truth of the matter, Alpha males are very difficult in real life, and women who invest in them emotionally are usually aiming for the ‘high risk, high reward’ type relationship - and not every woman whose managed to make an Alpha type settle down are quite as impressed with the rewards as she thought she’d be.

What Is 'Alpha Male?'

First and foremost, I am going to burst the pining bubbles of women everywhere: An alpha male is not the werewolf male character who growls that his mate is his and lets no other man even think about her without getting into a fight over her. In fact, real alpha males are the opposite of those sexilicious romance heroes that women often romanticize. 

So what are some of the pros and cons of an alpha male? Keep reading to find out. 

1. Can be selfish and arrogant

Can be selfish and arrogant

Alpha males are sexy, and confident, sure, but that's about all that Alpha men in real life have in common with romance novel characters. And the reason they are handsome is for the fact that they are usually very self-aware of their looks, and go out of their way to take care of them. You can’t have your pick of any woman whenever you want if you look like a slob after all.

These flaws are however beneficial for the alpha male due to the fact that this requires him to put in the special effort to look at how he wants to look. So most alpha males are physically fit and healthy, and they like their women to do the same for the most part. 

2. Does not do 'emotions' well - any of them

Dating an alpha male is not romantic. Nor is it sentimental. It's not really emotionally supportive either. They just don’t do emotions. Most likely, if you date an alpha male you’ll be venting to your girlfriends instead of him. They just don’t do the whole ‘feels’ and ‘drama’ thing.

Not only are they the worst at comforting from a bad day - but they also don’t feel the whole ‘relationship’ feelings either. Alpha male men don’t do a lot of romance, no deep conversations about how you feel about each other. Romantic gestures for the woman they are dating, for the most part, are quick decisions made to please or placate, and romantic gestures are executed a little coldly. 

It’s not that Alpha males don’t have feelings, this kind of guy just has strict control over them. Feelings make them uncomfortable, and they need absolutely special circumstances to go out of their comfort zone. These are not the type of man who gives away control to a situation willingly, and emotions are all about being vulnerable which means weakness to the alpha male instincts. 

3. Does not compromise

Women who enjoy dating alpha males know they will have to find ways to get what she wants if her partner isn’t willing to do it for her. An alpha male doesn't compromise unless the counter offer suits his needs and aligns with his interests 100 percent. Alpha males have an uncontrollable need to control even the smallest of situations, and they don’t like to bend their expectations for anyone. 

4. He has ambitions and goals

An alpha male knows what he wants out of life. He isn’t the kind of guy who is gonna live with mom as long as possible, and he certainly isn’t going to be stuck with a regular 9-5 job. The alpha male with his constant need for control won’t settle for less than a job where he gets to be the boss.

To achieve his lifestyle (which is usually luxurious) and financial goals, this man will go to school, and do what he has to do to steer his life in the right direction. And they like their women to be doing the same. Dating is kind of an inconvenience for an ambitious guy, and if they are going to take the time out of their scheduled plan for a woman, she has to be worth it. 

5. His needs come first

His needs come first

If you want a man who is willing to sacrifice for his woman, then you don’t want an alpha male type of guy. Unless it’s his moral and ethical prerogative to be a selfless man that sacrifices for his relationship you won’t likely find one true alpha male type who will be willing to put your needs or wants first. 

This is why real-life alpha men are not necessarily good leaders. They do what they like when they like, and don’t really look past their needs to analyze the situation. He is not one to drag himself to a party that he doesn’t want to go to just for your sake, but he most certainly will go somewhere you don’t approve of in an instant. 

Sometimes, you will find an alpha type man who won’t be this way - but be aware that is his choice. He is choosing to put you first, and it is a conscious effort. So if you have a guy like this be sure to be thankful, because you’ll find the hardest thing for an alpha type is to relinquish control over any situation.

6. He does not get jealous

The thing about these strong men is you won’t find any possessive parading you around or protecting you from the eyes of strange men who might be looking you over. You will find that the alpha is too confident and cocky to take the time to be jealous of other men. Those guys are simply not a threat. That being said, that doesn’t mean they’re okay with you having a bunch of unnecessary men in your life either.

Dating An Alpha Male Is Difficult

The key to remember dating an alpha male is to decide what kind of woman you want to be. These men like to be in complete control, they are unyielding, not at all gentle in their emotional approach, and it takes a level of emotional control to deal with them. 

Women who are into this kind of relationship realize that sometimes control is not obvious, and you are willing to yield obvious control for a more subtle one. Alpha men like alpha women, but only so long as they are still the boss. It takes finesse and patience to wield the kind of power to tame these kinds of men. 

FAQs

What is an alpha male in a relationship?

An alpha male in a relationship is a man who is demanding, knows what he wants, knows how to get what he wants, and is relentless and uncompromising. It is his way or no way. And if you are an alpha female, be prepared to have long battles ahead of you. 

What is it like dating an alpha male?

Dating an alpha male is high risk and high reward. If you can find an alpha male whose interests align with yours, and they have strong ethical and moral core values, then chances are you could have a long term relationship with an alpha male. However, remember that their needs always come first, they are not good at compromise, and most of them are not willing to sacrifice their needs or wants for anyone else's benefit, and they are probably one of the least affectionate or compassionate of partners. 

What is an alpha male personality?

Loud, confident to the point of cocky, domineering, slightly controlling. The Alpha male personality is a man who will not budge in his mindset, will not compromise. When the Alpha male is single they will be the ones on the prowl, usually capable of bringing in a new female every night if they tried. They are the typical ‘jocks of high school,’ in their younger years, and if they exploit that potential, have the possibility to make great names for themselves in the business world. 

Does an alpha male get jealous?

Surprisingly - no. Alpha males don’t enjoy other men being a part of your life. However, their confidence and charms keep them afloat in their ego, and they do not see other men as a threat - unless you give them a very obvious reason to be jealous, but while doing this, you risk losing the relationship with him completely. 

Do alpha males get angry?

Alpha males tend to get angry when things don’t go their way, but not in an explosive way. They have control over themselves, but they will never back down and have very few tendencies to care or be curious about how their actions affect others. It’s either his way or no way, which can be a rather toxic trait to deal with until they learn how to compromise for what they want. 

Do You Have An Alpha Man That You’ve Managed To Tame? - Conclusion

We like to hear from women who have reaped the rewards of taming an alpha male personality. After all, these insensitive guys aren’t easy to catch or keep. Share your expert advice in keeping your relationship good. Thank you for reading everyone! 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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