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Dating An Extrovert (19 Stress-Free Ways)

by Sonya Schwartz

How important do you think the personality factor is in relationships? Do the differences in one partner’s personality matter to the overall balance of the relationship or does love conquer all regardless of the issues that personality traits might cause? 

People like to throw around the phrase ‘opposites attract’. However, they usually fail to add the clause that you should take caution because it comes with a set of issues that might be too much for you to handle. When introverts and extroverts come together in relationships, there is either a big problem or an interesting and beautiful relationship.

However, because the risks sometimes outweigh the potential benefit of dating an extrovert, introverts prefer dating people with a similar personality and stay far away from extroverts. The twist to life is that sometimes is that you can’t choose who you love and that someone could be an extrovert. 

How then can you go into a relationship with an extrovert without losing yourself in his extroversion? Is it by going along with whatever he says or by putting your feet down every time he wants to have his way?

Read on for the tips in this article which will help you learn how to be with your extroverted partner and create the right balance in your relationship without unnecessary tension. 

19 Stress-Free Ways To Date An Extrovert

1. Have the right level of communication

have the right level of communication

If there is anything that relationship experts hammer on, it is the communication factor being one of the most important things that help relationships to function properly. Introverts and extroverts especially need to make communicating with each other very seriously. Or else, there will always be tension and friction between both parties. 

An extrovert finds it easy to start a conversation but a conversation is not the same thing as communication. As such, your introverted self needs to make your partner understand that in your way, you crave attention too. Then, come up with ways to get him to really listen to you. 

2. Accept the fact that you are very important to him

There is a reason why your extroverted partner is in a relationship with you in the first place, which is that he’s in love with you. Whatever differences there are in each of your personalities, it shouldn’t take away the fact that he cares deeply for you.

Therefore, no matter how much dopamine can make him act like the life of the party (or how unfeeling he might seem to your tender emotions sometimes), he is still interested in your happiness. If you are sure of this fact, there is little need for you to seek constant validation on how important you are to him.

3. He needs you to accept his world and differences

One mistake introverts in relationships with extroverts make is to see the uniqueness of their partner as a problem they have to fix. If being with an extrovert is to work for you, you need to accept his world and what makes him different. 

Meaning, you need to understand when he wants to play instead of being serious. Know when to take him seriously despite how much he plays, and so on.

His social life is as important to him as his personal goals are and so, you will need to involve yourself in the parties and social events he attends. Get to know the activities that interest him and understand how they work.

4. Be as open as possible with him about your feelings

Introverts are naturally closed off but they are also the most thoughtful set of people. An extrovert is used to being expressive and so, won’t understand when you are feeling bad if you don’t talk about how you feel.

If you are to have a beautiful and healthy relationship with your extroverted partner, you need to open up to him more. It may not be easy because you might feel like you’re cutting yourself open with a knife every time you reveal yourself to your extrovert man but, it will help your relationship have the balance it needs to grow.

5. Allow your extrovert partner to express himself

Again, extroverts like to express themselves freely and if you try to smother their feelings, they either explode or implode; either of which is bad for them and the relationship. Introverts have no issue with holding on to their thoughts a little bit longer but extroverts are always on the go to talk about how they feel on the spot.

The ability to allow him to vent and spill his mind to you even when you are not in the mood to listen or talk will go a long way to making your relationship as peaceful as possible. 

6. Be more assertive when it comes to dating plans

When you are dating an extrovert, you need to take the reins once in a while else, you will be submerged in his extroversion. Therefore, when it comes to planning dates and creating activities to do together, it is best if you take charge most of the time. 

Already, he has friends he hangs out with and fun places he loves to visit. So, if you are the type who prefers staying at home more or visit quieter places, it’s better if you plan for a location that falls in between what you both love.

7. Your acceptance and understanding should be without censure

your acceptance and understanding should be without censure

Being an extrovert doesn’t mean being irresponsible or lacking insight into important things. What makes an extrovert different is that he likes to do things in an exuberant manner or in a way that you can’t ignore him. As an introvert, you do things in a more understated way and do, your partner’s personality might rub off the wrong way sometimes.

However, the secret to dating an extrovert is to have empathy and understand his mannerisms. Help him curb his excesses without criticism and he will come to care for you more.

8. Understand the cues that trigger him or cause tension in the relationship

All relationships have pain points that trigger trouble which can cause tension for both parties. When you understand what displeased your extrovert partner and you make him understand what pisses you off, there will be few issues to resolve in the course of the relationship. 

For example, if he calls a derogatory word or phrase he uses with his friends and you don’t like it, let him know. Inform him that the theory of “you should be cool with what my friends can accept” doesn’t work with you.

It is when you both ignore the triggers that set you off that there will be constant friction and disagreement. 

9. Come to grips with the fact that you both process things differently

Your thought processes are far apart and you shouldn’t expect him to process things the same way you do. If you are a slow deep thinker, he could be faster in processing his thoughts and giving replies. You shouldn’t hold that against him and call him a rash decision-maker. 

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At the same time, he should be able to understand that you take your time to assimilate and ponder on an idea before you give a response. This clear understanding between both of you will make communication easier and the relationship amazing.

10. Understand how both of you refuel your energy

When opposites attract, it means there are two different energies involved. Your goals for the relationship might differ from the ones your extroverted partner has in mind. As such, you both approach the dating process in different ways. 

However, the important thing is that each party pays attention to the way the other person refuel their energy and neither of you wears the other out too much or too often. Being able to balance each other’s energy will help to sustain the relationship. 

11. Even though he is so outgoing, he needs his personal space too

People, regardless of what personality traits they possess, will always need alone time at one point or the other. As outgoing and fun as extroverts are, they also need alone moments to themselves. 

Don’t assume that because he has so much energy most of the time that he cannot feel down too. Thinking he can never be caught with a low spirit might make you act insensitive when he is in a sober mood. When you understand his moods and adjust your personality to them whenever necessary, you’ll both do just fine. 

12. Try to work out a win-win situation most of the time

Dating an extrovert means coming in contact with his constant extroversion which manifests itself in the things he does and says. As an extrovert, he most likely wants to go out more than he will want to stay indoors. For you, going out is a chore but staying indoors is like being imprisoned. 

As such, one party cannot leave the other behind if the relationship is to be successful. What you can both do is create a win-win situation that won’t offend or frustrate the other party.

13. When a problem arises, remind each other of why you first started the relationship

when a problem arises, remind each other of why you first started the relationship

Both parties need to understand that there might be more friction than smooth flow at the beginning of your love partnership and even with time, you might still hit a brick wall more than you’ll experience joy. However, what will keep either party going is the reminder of why you started the relationship in the first place.

Just as you endeavor to hold on to your feelings of love, your partner also needs to remind himself of the traits he loves in you. These reminders will make the days of disagreement pass quickly.

14. Create a signal that will alert him to when you’ve had enough excitement for a day

You could call your signal word safe word that rescues you when your partner loses himself in his normal activities which you try to engage in with him. For example, if you visit his family and they begin to do a family ritual you’re not comfortable with or ask questions you feel embarrassed to answer, you should have a signal you use with your partner that screams, “Help, I can’t do this anymore". 

It could be a subtle shake of your head, a finger sliding over the bridge of your nose, or even a whispered word. Whatever it is, it should be a gesture you’ve both practiced well enough that no matter what, it will draw your partner’s attention to your situation. 

15. Help him understand why you need alone time

If your partner is so attracted to you that he wants to be around you all the time and you feel the same way, your relationship will be easier. However, even when you are both so wrapped up in each other, you will need a ‘you’ time like other introverts do. 

When that time comes it might be a bit difficult for your boyfriend to understand why you need a space to yourself. You will need to explain why and clear the air to avoid him misinterpreting the situation as you breaking up with him. If you dint make your needs clear enough, you will run into trouble time after time. 

16. Create activities both of you can engage in

This tip is also about making a compromise to have a beautiful relationship. Instead of doing things completely separately to ensure peace, it is best if you also come up with both meaningful projects and fun things that you can both do together. 

For instance, if you love playing indoor games and he'd rather go play soccer with the boys, you can alternate days for real soccer playing and video games.

Balancing the scale by including his favorite things and those you enjoy doing will make both of you eager to work together. Failure to share the interests as equally as possible will lead to discord between both of you.

17. Accept the fact that sometimes, he has to go have fun or hang out without you tagging along

Although introverts aren’t as outgoing as extroverts, they can act possessive too. You need to remember that your extroverted partner doesn’t like restrictions and so; when you try to hang out with him wherever he goes, even though you don’t like going out, you will project an air of desperation.

Even if you don’t like to be separated from him for too long, you have to be cool with the reality that he can’t be with you all the time. Also, to avoid letting jealousy eat at you, you might have to be okay with him going out with friends without you, especially when you don’t have much in common with them. 

18. There is no need to pretend around him or his friends

In a bid to impress your introvert partner’s friends, you might be tempted to pretend that you’re happy with everything they do. However, this will backfire because you won’t be able to keep up with the pretense for too long and you’ll end up looking like a fake person. 

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19. Be at peace with the fact that you are like the anchor holding the relationship in place

be at peace with the fact that you are like the anchor holding the relationship in place

In your relationship with an extrovert, your major strength is the ability to remain coolheaded even when your partner’s mind is all over the place. Accepting that your personality is a blessing and not a bore will allow peace to be the pillar holding your partnership together even when that very peace is threatened. 

FAQs

Can an extrovert date an extrovert?

Yes, an extrovert and introvert can date each other as long as they understand that what makes them different can also be the thing that makes them stronger together. For example, the extrovert partner can help the introvert partner have more fun while the introvert partner can help the extrovert partner slow down when necessary. 

Do extroverts fall in love?

Yes, they do and do so hard too. As much as most people see extroverts as players when an extrovert man finally gets someone he likes a lot, he will give his whole devotion to that one woman. This attention might become even overwhelming for the woman, especially if she is an introvert.

Are extroverts more attractive?

The attractiveness of an extrovert doesn’t lie in the perfect physical shape of his face but the effervescence of his character. Extroverts are usually happy people who bring so much life to every occasion.

What is an Ambivert?

An ambivert is someone who falls between being an extrovert and an introvert. This person has both the traits of an extrovert and that of an introvert. Such a person can either feel conflicted about his personality or blessed to possess both traits.

Do extroverts cheat?

Like every other person, an extrovert can cheat on his partner because cheating is not only a function of one’s personality but principles. An extrovert will even find it difficult to hide the fact that he is cheating because he is very expressive by nature.

In Conclusion 

Extroverts and introverts relationship can work only if both partners are willing to make it work and to do this, they need to build a foundation on some, if not all, of the tips in this article. 

If you liked reading through this article, please leave a comment below and also share the post with others.

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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