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How To Stop Being Desperate (21 Helpful Ways)

by Sonya Schwartz

Feeling desperate when it comes to love usually starts when you get anxious. You’re afraid that you’re going to end up alone, or perhaps, with the wrong life-partner. Or, in other cases, you’re ashamed of what someone else, or other people already think of you. 

In general, fear pushes women into desperation; and this phase causes more damage to a relationship than most things. It’s vital to know how to stop being desperate to get the best out of every association. There are ways to make a man notice and want to be with you, without necessarily going out of your way to getting his attention

This article gives vital tips to women who can’t stop worrying about their associations’ outcome. If you want to healthily control things, below are twenty-one ways to stop being desperate.  

21 Ways To Stop Being Desperate

1. Make contact occasionally

If you’re always searching for someone to love, or craving to be in a relationship with men, then it shows that you’re desperate. A way to stop this act is by reducing the amount of contact you make with certain people. For example, if you notice that you seem to act desperate around some people, be it friends, or a potential partner, one thing to do is to spend time with them less. 

The more you limit your communication with someone that causes you to make unhealthy moves, the better you can control situations. You will also be able to think better and know when specific actions are starting to seem desperate.

2. Learn to be comfortable alone

Without a doubt, most of the actions a desperate person exhibit results from the fear of being alone. Having a burning desire to always be in someone else’s company causes people to make the wrong moves and appear desperate. 

There are ways to counter this act, and one of them includes learning to be comfortable alone. In order to truly enjoy your life all by yourself, you need to look within and find out what you fancy the most about yourself. After that, work on those areas until you’re satisfied with the person you are, and you can love your life and live comfortably until someone comes along.

3. Don’t try to be too nice

Don’t try to be too nice

Pleasing everyone to your detriment is another step to appearing desperate. When you can do almost anything to maintain a relationship with someone, it sends a wrong signal. Understanding that you don’t always have to be too nice to keep the right person in your life will help you become more comfortable. 

Even though you can’t help being pleasant to others, finding ways to balance this action will safeguard your heart. It’s crucial to acknowledge when a relationship needs to run its course without using extreme friendly gestures to make it work. When you allow others to be nice to you first, it’ll prevent you from seeming desperate.

4. Meet new people

Sometimes, the company you keep affects the way you perceive things. Meeting new people will provide an avenue for a unique experience, which would make you feel a little more relieved than before. The pressure you would have to appease a friend or a partner would seemingly be reduced, and you’ll realize the real essence of relationships with people. 

It’s essential to note the feeling you have when meeting new people because this act will help you channel it into your association with others. Remember that you don’t need to go out of your way all the time for others, and if you have to, it’s a sign that the association isn’t worth it.

5. Don’t always be too available

There’s a difference between spending quality time with a crush and being available all the time. You might love someone and want to communicate this feeling with your time, but always know when to draw some boundaries. 

If you feel like a man is taking advantage of you, you might have to restrict the access he has to you. You shouldn’t always accept every request even though you’re available because others will translate it to being desperate. Occupy yourself to resist being too public, and you will notice a drastic change in how everyone treats and relates to you.

6. Be comfortable letting go

The primary reason why you would act desperate is because of the fear of losing someone you care about. However, you have to be comfortable letting go in order to make a relationship work. If you continuously need to take specific actions to make another person stay, knowing fully well that they would leave if you don’t, it shows that friendship is futile. 

The thing about love is that it’s a matter of personal choice, meaning that you can’t force anyone to stay or convince them with your actions. If their heart were with you, it would be difficult to leave. Therefore, being comfortable letting go helps you to acknowledge any broken relationship in due time.

7. Spend time with friends

If you’re feeling desperate about certain subjects like finding love or a life partner, your friends will be the perfect distraction. Living in the moment and getting support from people who care about you will keep your mind off the fact that you’re craving something. It will also allow you to acknowledge your self-worth and make better decisions in life. 

Being with friends is like a necessary vacation you need away from all your worries as a person. The more you’re away from that state of mind, the better you can see the negative aspects and work towards fixing them. Otherwise, you would be stuck thinking that being desperate is necessary.

8. Activate your confidence

One of the reasons people act desperate is because of a lack of confidence. Feeling that you have to rely on others and continuously appease them reflects the absence of independence and self-assurance. There are ways to avoid being in a hopeless situation apart from hanging out with friends, and one of them involves activating your confidence. 

At every point that you feel the need to rely on someone else, always reassure yourself that you can handle the situation. Don’t be quick to assume that another person would make you feel better than you can because this action will create an unhealthy dependency on others.

9. Take a break from dating

Take a break from dating

 If you have the problem of relying on others for happiness, then being in a relationship isn’t your best call at the moment. Pausing that part of your life helps you tackle the issue before it poses an even more significant problem and ensures you give your best when you meet someone. 

If your previous relationships all had similar endings, then taking a break helps you to assess your faults and look for avenues to fix them as soon as possible. You would also get a chance to be comfortable with being single, which will reduce the level of desperation you feel when dating.  

10. Talk to someone you trust

It’s crucial for women always to evaluate who they ask for help from in times of need. If you’re quick to communicate your problems to any person available, it’s similar to being desperate. It would help if you acknowledged who you consider a trusted friend and seek their help instead. 

Some women fear revealing their struggles to others, which is also a bad idea. Understand that talking is therapeutic, mostly when you can’t figure out how to resolve your difficulties. Finding a person or a reliable group of friends to share your problems with is a vital key to overcoming desperation.

11. Make an impact on other lives

Instead of always relying on others for happiness, making others feel happy will change how you think. The positive feeling you will get from doing something good will boost your confidence and genuinely add meaning to your life. This action is also one thing that will ease the sense of urgency to be loved by any person. 

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You’ll be comfortable with the little you do, without feeling the need to demand more. In the long run, you will have a different perception when entering another relationship. There will be a healthy balance between appealing to be loved and loving others genuinely. More so, you will have better control over your insecurities.

12. Focus on the good things you have now

When you feel desperate, it’s often as a result of wanting something more. Not acknowledging all you have now will make you crave for what’s out of reach, which may lead to disappointments. It’s vital to understand that appreciating your present state helps prevent the agitation that leads to being desperate. 

You’ll have a healthy and realistic goal towards your future, which you can appropriately work towards. You’ll also experience life at its best without needing to worry too much. Always remind yourself that you’re a fantastic person in order to ease the pressure of wanting an individual to remind you.

13. Remain casual when dating again

It’s vital to remain calm about everything when you get back into the dating world. Some people are just looking out for themselves, and won’t care if they hurt someone else as long as they feel good about themselves. Plus, men don’t like to be pressured, especially not in the early stages of a relationship. 

If you start worrying about uncertainties, you would only get desperate again and ruin the process. Instead, allow the relationship with your man to blossom naturally by being confident. Likewise, remember not to be afraid of losing a significant other, or it will push you to despair. Embrace the strengths of the association and work on the weaknesses instead of covering them up.

14. Don’t tell jokes about your single status

Everyone close to you will already know about your single life, so telling jokes about it only makes the situation more uncomfortable. Your friends will perceive that you’re displeased about the case and trying to cover it up with amusing statements. 

Joking about being single to your crush won’t be perceived much better either. Your crush will see it as an avenue to get his attention, which will only make you look more desperate. Understanding that you don’t need to joke about your feelings to get attention will help you make better connections in the long run.   

15. Alcohol shouldn’t be your confidence booster

If you have a history of getting desperate with men, you should tackle this issue with a sober mind. Turning to alcohol to give you the confidence to talk to a person will only deteriorate matters. This happens because alcohol won’t hide your insecurities but will only expose them. 

If you don’t want to be the only lady at the bar talking to every guy and making herself look bad, it’s necessary to stay sober and try to work on your weaknesses. Allow your friends to be your partners or confidants during outings if you’re not sure you can handle the pressure of trying not to be desperate.

16. Walk away when you need to

There will always be something you need to walk away from in life. It could be the men you’re trying hard to gain affection from in your case. If you perceive that a person isn’t living up to certain expectations, which is causing you to get desperate about an outcome, it would be best to walk away. 

All scenarios won’t be the same, so it’s prudent to discern when an association is becoming unhealthy. You can decide to give yourself space if you feel you’re losing control of the situation and returning to your old habits. Talking to a confidant during this process will help you make better decisions.

17. Refrain from internet-stalking

Refrain from internet-stalking

Another way to stop being desperate is by trying not to stalk people on the internet. When you have a new date, it can be tempting to peep into their lives and get all the information you need. This act is harmless as long as it remains hidden, but often, it’s easy to get carried away. 

You can make the wrong moves, like accidentally liking a picture they posted a year ago or deciding to follow them on all social media platforms. This action will undoubtedly give the impression that you’re prying into someone’s business, which would only make you look desperate. You will have more self-confidence on a date when you don’t make these mistakes.

18. Put a limit on your texting

The way people text tells more about them than they realize. Although it’s vital to be free with everyone, you should monitor how you text others so that you don’t give off the impression that you’re desperate. 

The frequency you text your friends should differ from that of the man you want to date. Sending a guy more than one text at a time will communicate that you’re too eager, which will be a turnoff. In other cases, he can use it as an avenue to take advantage of you. Therefore, more than anything, it’s best to limit your texting.  

19. Don’t complain about being single

If you don’t want to look desperate to someone else, apart from joking about being single, don’t complain about the subject too. Doing these things reveals you’re indirectly insecure about this area of your life, which only makes you look desperate. 

You can talk about these subjects to some friends, but making it a public matter will give off a very wrong impression. On the contrary, look for the bright side of being single and bask in it every day. The more you enjoy your present phase is, the faster you’ll meet the person meant for you.

20. Focus on your goals

Focusing more on self-achievement can counter the way you yearn for things that are out of reach. Both short and long-term desires can keep you distracted and change your perspective about what you want. Channeling your energy to another source keeps you one step ahead and ensures you don’t fall back to the same mistakes. 

Make your family members your priority and focus on learning from every experience that comes your way. Also, understand that you don’t have to seek attention because women with zeal and passion will always be attractive.

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21. Look for the pattern and stop it

When people get desperate about something, there’s usually a set of actions they take. We can refer to these actions as patterns. It’s crucial to observe the procedures you follow so that you can avoid them next time. 

For example, if you make irrational moves when a man doesn’t contact you for a period, you can look for all the possible ways to counter this action before it happens again. If you can identify your errors, the bottom line is you can prevent them from happening in the future.

FAQs

How do I stop being a desperate woman?

When you meet someone and get desperate, it’s crucial to identify and distract yourself with your personal goals. Your desire might be to focus on the guy you’re desperate to have, but limiting your contact with that person will prevent you from seeming like a hopeless woman.

Why do I feel so desperate for love?

When women start feeling desperate for partners, it’s usually as a result of their worries. They’re afraid that they won’t find someone special and are distressed about what others think about them. Nonetheless, getting comfortable with being alone and accepting that true love comes when you’re not looking will ease your anguish.  

What are the signs of desperation?

When someone is eager to please their partners in relationships and always seeks reassurance, it’s a sign that they’re desperate for affection. Even when they’re not needed, regularly available people express the characteristics of a desperate individual. All these things and more show that such an individual needs you to be happy.

How do I stop craving love?

People that crave love, and the comfort of being in a relationship, need to get comfortable with being alone. You will be able to tackle all your desperate emotions if you spend more time appreciating the present rather than focusing on the future. The affection you crave wouldn’t come through worrying, so it’s better to be happy and live in the moment.  

How can I be happy single?

You can be happy as a single person if you involve yourself in meaningful activities and relish in them. If you focus more on your dreams as an individual, you will indeed be content without thinking about a potential relationship. More so, you will find it easy to fulfill your plans before you meet the special one.

To Conclude

Did you enjoy this article? If you have any of the characteristics of a desperate individual, remember that seeking everyone’s help will prove to be more detrimental than good. Instead, talk about your issues to a trusted friend, which you know can help you out of your dilemma. If you enjoyed reading this article, kindly leave a comment below, and feel free to share. 

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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