Search icon

Beginning Stages Of Talking To A Guy (15 Things to Know)

What is the beginning stage of talking to a guy? 

Usually, this means that you are just getting to know one another through text messages, emails, or phone calls. Once you’ve started texting everyday, you know that based on your own feelings, you have a real connection. However, you probably won’t know if there is real chemistry until the two of you go on a date together.

As a life coach would advise, it’s never good to sit around by the phone when you are in this relationship status (or any stage of a relationship, really)! You want to stay busy and have your own thing going on. Spend time with your friends, family, and work colleagues; they are the only ones who are physically knowing you at this time, so enjoy their company.

A good relationship has a solid balance of getting to know each other and turning things into a serious new relationship. A good sign that he is on the same stage as you will be when he asks you out on a date, but don’t feel discouraged if that takes time. Guys like to get to know girls when a relationship develops! Let’s learn more about this!

15 Things to Know About Talking to a Guy

1. Know what you want to talk about

If you are starting a new relationship, you might expect there to be a few lulls in the conversation. Don’t get discouraged because this is normal! One way you can combat these awkward silences is to have a list of topics you have been thinking about talking about. Discuss them with your new flame. Ask him questions and listen to his answers.

When you start dating in person, you’ll want to always be ready with conversation topics. You also want to respond when he asks you questions; you can do this by elaborating on your thoughts on something he’s asked you about. Don’t be worried about what he thinks about you too much, because he probably is just as nervous as you are!

If you are worried that he thinks you might not be interested in him, create a list of your favorite topics, things that interest you, or interesting facts you have learned online. Pay attention to the News for some hot topics that might pique his interest. You’ll have a delightful conversation if you do these things when the two of you are talking!

2. Exchange phone numbers

One critical part of this stage of a relationship is exchanging phone numbers. If you are shy or don’t know if the guy is interested in a future with you and you fear rejection, ask a friend to give the guy your number. Then, the ball is in his court as to whether he will contact you or not. Don’t just assume he is not that into you, though. 

He could get busy or have a demanding job that takes up all of his time. Alternatively, he could be taken or have a family already! Some guys are very interested, but cannot take action because of factors that are out of their control. Try not to be too hard on yourself if you don’t get an immediate call from this guy!

3. Text one another

Texting is a great way to get to know one another without having to have an actual conversation. You can take your time between text messages to decide how you will respond to him and to learn his texting behavior. Maybe he is one who enjoys responding right away, or perhaps he enjoys having a day or two to mull things over.

4. Add him on social media

This is a great way to find out how much interest a guy has in you. If you send him a friend request, you can determine if he wants to take things to the next level by seeing if he permits you access to his social media accounts. Some people are very private, though, so don’t just assume he’s uninterested because he doesn’t add you right away.

I’ll admit that when you are dating a guy or get in a serious relationship, it’s natural to add one another as friends on social media, but it doesn’t always happen. I once had a boyfriend that never added me to his Facebook account, no matter how upset it made me. I found this behavior to be suspicious the longer we dated, as it was.

Eventually, I did discover that he had several girls on the side that he didn’t want me to know about, so his action of not adding me to Facebook was warranted, from his perspective, but not all guys are jerks like this. Some just want to make sure you won’t spam their Facebook wall with junk or inappropriate messages that his family will see!

5. Comment on his social media pages

If you want to get this guy’s attention, you should comment on a few of his pictures or posts. You don’t want to do this too much, or you may come across as a stalker. Just leave a few one-word comments on a few things, so that he feels the love!

6. Like his social media posts

like his social media posts

Like commenting, keep this minimal, but liking a few of his posts is a sweet and rewarding thing to do. I know my man enjoys “liking” all of my pictures and posts, and it can get to be a bit much. It’s hard to know if he is being genuine or not, since he does it for every single one. Just keep it limited and you won’t have this issue.

7. Flirt with him

It’s great when you are talking to a guy to show him some flirty behavior. You want him to know that you have eyes for him, that you are interested in a romance with him, and that you are hot for him! You can flirt by your tone of voice, for example. 

According to Ask Men, you can flirt on the phone by being very friendly, not monopolizing the conversation, and sharing plenty of information about yourself. However, be careful; you want to be talking, but you also want to show you can listen well. This is how you show you are a giving, caring person - be a good listener!

As you are getting to know him, you also want to ask him plenty of follow-up questions to show you are paying close attention to what he is saying. You can just repeat back what you heard him say when you are talking if you are unsure how to ask insightful questions. 

8. Make him laugh

If you aren’t a funny person when dating, making a guy laugh can be a challenge! 

Maybe tell a joke, talk about a funny movie you saw, or mention an embarrassing story that will make him crack up. 

Men find this endearing and enjoy the company of women who make them laugh!

9. Call one another

A natural part of a relationship is the phone call. If you’ve been avoiding the phone, know that you can’t do this forever. 

If you want to move the relationship to the next level, you’ll need to call him on the phone or let him call you! Texting alone is just not sufficient - at least not for most dating relationships. 

10. Make small talk

When you start talking to a guy, you may have to rely on uncomfortable topics - the topics on the News or the weather. 

Use this tool to check whether he actually is who he says he is
Whether you're married or have just started seeing someone, infidelity rates are on the rise and have increased over 40% in the last 20 years, so you have all the right to be worried.

Perhaps you want to know if he's texting other women behind your back? Or whether he has active Tinder or dating profile? Or worse yet, whether he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool will do just that and pull up any hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more to hopefully help put your doubts to rest.

Having that list of topics, as mentioned earlier, will definitely help move things along in your relationship and will aid in deeper conversations, though, so be sure to refer to that list frequently!

11. Practice truly listening

As mentioned, you don’t want to have a dating relationship that is a one-way street. If you are shy, you’ll need to talk about topics you are comfortable with. If you speak about your favorite things, you are likely to be able to carry on a conversation much easier.

12. Talk about your hopes, dreams, and aspirations

talk about your hopes dreams and aspirations

So, you’ve talked about the easy stuff - the weather, the basics of your life, and what you know from the News. Now, it’s time to really share what matters in life to you. 

If you have just started dating this guy, you might want to save a few things for when the two of you go on dates, but you should really get to know each other in this manner.

13. Start dating

You’ve now most likely had quite a few phone conversations. It’s time to start dating. This means you will need to go out on dates and see one another in person. 

If you are dating someone who lives far away from you, you could have video calls in this step of your relationship. Just be sure to look your best!

14. Decide when to be in a relationship

If you’ve been dating this man for a while, it may be time to decide if you want to be exclusive. I would make sure the two of you are on the same page on this topic. See what he thinks; does he want to be your boyfriend?

15. Fall madly in love

Lastly, you can begin to fall madly in love with this guy if you feel it. Make sure you are both feeling this way before saying those three little words. You would hate to feel rejected, even if he does feel the same as you do!


How do you act on the talking stage?

During the talking stage of a relationship, you are in a budding romance! You are in the early stages of a real relationship! It’s exciting; it’s overwhelming, and you might be a bit nervous. Don’t be afraid, though; if he likes you, there’s nothing wrong you can do! Just be yourself!

How long is the talking stage before dating?

The difference between talking and dating is a bit of a gray area. If you are old-fashioned, you might let the guy do all the initiating and allow him the chance to determine the next level of your relationship when he feels the time is right. That way, you’ll know when he’s interested!

How do you know if you're in the talking stage?

If you haven’t gone on an official date, you are probably still getting to know one another through conversation. Once you’ve gone on an official date, you’ll have a better idea of the stage of the relationship that you are in. Just practice patience and understanding! It’ll all work out eventually.

How do you get past the talking stage of a guy?

Guys generally expect time to get to know you. In the long run, the best results happen when you both understand one another well. There’s no real reason to rush the beginning of a relationship. You’ll have plenty of time to date in the future if the two of you are meant to be together!

What do you talk about during the talking stage?

One great sign of a connection in the talking stage is just a natural flow in the conversation. Ask him about his childhood, his favorite hobbies, what he loves to do the most, his most loved sports, and what he likes to do for fun on a Saturday night.

To Sum Things Up

What do you think of the talking stage in relationships? How do you move past it to have real dates with your crushes? We’d love to hear your opinion on the subject! Learning from our readers is part of the fun of this experience! Please leave a comment and share!

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


Join Our Newsletter

Receive weekly tips & tricks to improve your love life.
Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription.