What is your biggest fear when you think about meeting the parents? The ‘parents’ here refer to your boyfriend’s parents. No doubt, it’s a very big deal getting to know your potential future mother and father-in-law.
For some people, the first impression you leave on their parents will determine if the first meeting will be the last or a prelude to a beautiful life together as man and wife.
Anyone could argue that a relationship is no longer determined by whether a partner can catch the interest of their parents or leave a lasting impression right from the first meeting. However, if your boyfriend is the type to value family traditions and familial bonds, you must prepare adequately for your first meeting with his parents.
Meeting with a parent is not a guarantee that your relationship will automatically lead to marriage or that he will be proposing anytime soon. However, your boyfriend’s parents are a huge part of him. So, you must make yourself not only presentable but also acceptable.
If you’ve been worrying yourself sick about subjects to talk about with your boyfriend’s parents, worry no more because this article will cover several topics and conversation starters. They will help you settle into having great conversations with your boyfriend’s parents, even when meeting them for the first time.
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Going blind into a situation is never the best thing to do. Meeting your partner’s folks for the first time is one of such situations you should prepare for properly. You can’t know everything about your man’s parents, which is why you must ask him questions in advance about what they are like.
Find out what you can or cannot do, the off-limits subjects, and anything else he deems necessary to share with you. Asking these questions ahead of the first meeting will save you from embarrassment or awkward silence.
Showing genuine appreciation to anyone is usually well-received because everyone likes to hear a thank you for a job they did well. If you are eating in and your boyfriend’s mom prepared the meal, it is only appropriate to thank her for the good meal and compliment how delicious each dish tasted.
This conversation can lead to other subjects surrounding food and womanhood, a topic most women like to talk about freely. Such conversations also create a bond between mothers and their daughters-in-law, making the change in name and status for you way easier than if you had nothing in common with her.
Another way to improve your relationship and build a bond with the parent of your boyfriend is to compliment his mother. You are focusing on this particular parent because you are of the same sex and share more things in common than the male parent.
If she’s putting on a nice piece of jewelry, beautiful gown, pantsuit, or makeup, let her know it. Ensure that your compliment is as brief and modest as possible. Avoid using too flowery words that will sound empty as she will probably sense if you’re sincere or merely flattering her.
One way to win the heart of your boyfriend’s parents is to admire their house decor both in words and body expressions. If the first meeting is happening inside their home, take a little time to appreciate the mother for the amazing colors she picked and the outlay of the whole place.
To create room for lengthier conversations and a better relationship with her, ask to see her kitchen. Almost every woman, whether she likes cooking or not, is thrilled when people admire her kitchen and so, the topic of decor will help get the conversation going.
If your boyfriend is taking you to meet his parents, it means he holds you in high esteem and probably wants to take the relationship to the next level. He has carried out one part of his commitment to you, it is left to you to do your part by impressing his parents.
One way to leave a good impression on his parents is to talk about how amazing their son is. Almost every parent adores their children, even when they aren’t performing their duties as they should.
As such, they can go to any length to defend the children’s honor. When you speak kindly of their son, you will indirectly confirm that they are great parents who raised their child properly.
Even if you don’t volunteer this information, every parent will probably want to know what their child’s partner does for a living. One of the questions that you cannot avoid or maintain silence on is that of what you do with your life. No parent wants their child to end up with a nobody who is slumming through life doing nothing.
You can also wait for the perfect opening such as when one parent says, “So, Chris told us you are a marketer...”. Or you create the opening yourself. For example, you can chip in what you do by saying, “oh yes, I remember one time at work when I had to team up with the most stubborn business owner I’ve ever met”.
As much as having a job or business is impressive, most parents want to know that you have things to do outside of work. Except your boyfriend’s parents are workaholics, they will want their son’s wife to be someone who can have fun or create time for a family outside of work.
If you have hobbies, the first time meeting them is a good time to share your hobbies with them. Sharing this information with them will help you make small talk, reduce the amount of silence in between conversations and help you while away time before you have to eat or say goodbye.
During the topic of hobbies, you might discover that you and his parents share certain similarities that will further help the growing bond between you all.
By having a conversation about activities you have in common with them, you will create an Avenue for future meetings. For instance, if you have golf in common with his parents, they may invite you over to play with them at some point.
Did they share an opportunity with you and you’re considering taking it? You may want to create a topic out of that. Even though you may still need to visit a website or visit an office, you can ask the parents for guidance and tips on how to glide through the process smoothly and secure the deal.
When you seek their opinion, you will make them feel important, show you respect their opinions and make you look like you’ve accepted them as a family too.
When you ask people to bring out their family albums, you open up a store of memories and stories that will lead to a conversation on different topics and get them to discuss family traditions.
There is no surer way to pass the time and know about people than when you ask them to pull out the big guns in terms of their family pictures. The time will pass so quickly and amiably that you all will be reluctant about ending the day.
While viewing the family pictures, you can delve into the topic of family traditions to know more about the family you’ll be joining sometime in the future. The information and stories they provide you will give you an idea of whether you can abide by these traditions or if they are a deal-breaker for your relationship.
No matter how amazing your boyfriend’s family is, you cannot afford to silence your intuition on the issue of compatibility, and meeting his parents will reveal a lot of things you didn’t know before then.
If there is anything fun in meeting the parents, it is the hilarious tales they are sure to have about your boyfriend and his childhood. Things might get awkward for your man as the story approaches teenagehood but it will still be a good ribbing that will put everyone in a good mood.
You can ask a question about a picture you saw and one of the parents will probably be eager to share all the juicy details. If you observe that they aren’t comfortable with having a conversation about a particular picture, change the topic immediately.
As much as possible, focus on small talk surrounding life generally or business instead of controversial topics such as sex or politics. You don’t want to have a hot argument on politics that will end up in raised voices or eruption of tempers with your future in-laws do you?
Even if they are very open to controversial issues, it is safer for you to steer clear of such topics to avoid friction. Remember, you’re trying to win them over, not make them dislike you.
This tip is tricky and you shouldn’t mistake it for expressing eye service. Meaning, if you cannot continue with offering to help most of the time when you’ll be visiting the parents, don’t offer during the first meeting.
While some parents (especially the mother) might not hold you to your offer to help clean or cook in the future, some parents will accuse you of changing when you stop offering to do the same things you did for them while dating their child.
Maintaining silence during a meeting with your boyfriend’s parents for the first time is not an option, except you are a mute. You aren’t expected to be a parrot yapping on unnecessarily but, you are not supposed to stay completely silent either.
Beyond looking good and acting warm, you need to establish in the parent’s mind who you are and what you want them to remember you for. Therefore, prepare your mind that you will engage well in the conversation regardless of your reserved nature or little knowledge in their area of expertise.
Another thing that the elderly ones admire so much is being able to impart knowledge and advice to younger people. Being a potential daughter-in-law puts you in an elevated position that ensures they will give you all the help you need, especially if they like you.
At the end of the day, everyone wins; you get a solution to an issue that has been plaguing you for a long time and, they feel they’ve put some of their wisdom to great use. Not to mention that the bond between you and them will grow stronger.
The mistake many people make when they are meeting someone for the first time is to ask polar questions that require a Yes/No answer. When you ask a Yes or No question, you limit the kind of answer the other person will give you.
Rather than ask things that will make them answer yes or no, ask the ones that will ensure they express themselves well in words.
Meeting your partner’s parents for the first time can be nerve-wracking but you can create topics in your head that you will discuss with them without any form of nervousness. Being prepared with topics to discuss will make the meeting go smooth.
You can ask your boyfriend’s parents a question on how long it took them to decorate their beautiful home, ask the mother what body care brand she uses because you admire the way she looks, or even request her food recipes.
When you prepare yourself mentally ahead of your first contact with his parents, you will know what to do and say to impress them. An example is, questioning your boyfriend about his parents so you know the topics to avoid and which one thrills them.
Comment on how exquisite their home is, talk about how elegant the mother looks, how handsome the father is, or simply speak sincerely about how much you’ve been looking forward to meeting them.
You cannot have any guarantee that whatever you do will make your boyfriend’s dad like you but you can do your best to make sure he does. You also don’t want anyone misinterpreting your actions and so, you need to be modest with the way you seek his attention and approval. Try to be yourself and if he likes you, you won’t have any problem.
Meeting your boyfriend’s parents is a big deal, even if you doubt if you will end up as his wife or not. Try to leave a great impression on them if not for anything, but to make them remember you as the girl who caught their interest.
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