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Wife Sharing: Why Does My Husband Want To Share Me? (The Honest Truth)

Last updated on July 13, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Have you found yourself in a situation where your husband wants to share you with another man (also known as wife sharing)?

It probably went something like this...

Things are going great in your relationship, you love each other very much, but then out of the blue, he suddenly tells you that it would turn him on if he saw you sleep with another man.

This catches you completely off-guard...

All sorts of emotions start running through your head and you probably start asking yourself things like:

"Why on earth does my husband want to share me with another man?”

"Do I not turn him on enough?"

"Is he trying to cover up for something bad that he did?"

And while this is not always the case, one thing that you want to rule out before going any further is that he isn't cheating on you.

It may sound harsh, but some men use this as an excuse to get out of the mess they have created by cheating on their wives.

They think that “Only if I can get my wife to sleep with another man, we'll be even, and my wife can't get angry if she finds out I cheated on her”.

If it only were that easy.

I recommend using a simple tool like this (click on the link to check it out) to rule out that indeed the reason he wants to share you is that he's cheating on you.

You simply type in his name and location, and it will give you a ton of information as to what he's been up to when you aren't together.

Things like which dating sites he may be active on, who he's been hanging out with after work after he came home late, and many other things.

Many spouses discovered that their husbands were cheating on them by using this tool.

Hopefully, that isn't the case with you, but before we discuss it any further it's important that that's ruled out first.

Wife sharing requires 100% trust between both husband and wife.

Before I veer further into the topic, there are a few things I want to advert your mind to, and they are as follows: most people usually take wife-sharing to mean the same thing as wife-swapping, but this is totally wrong.

What Is Wife Sharing & The Psychology Behind It?

Wife sharing and wife swapping are two different kettles of fish.

The earlier means for instance where you and your husband agree to have sexual intimacy with another set of couples, and it doesn’t go beyond that. In the latter, however, it goes beyond the sex.

You and your husband exchange one another with the other couple to not only have sexual intimacy, but also with the intention to live like husband and wife, but this time temporarily.

Mike Hatcher’s of YourTango gives a clearer view about wife sharing.

In his opinion, “wife sharing is slightly different from a swinger's lifestyle. In wife sharing, more than one couple have sexual relationships with the wife of different couples.”

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

However, a few of the reasons below might be why your husband wants to share you with another man.

4 Reasons Your Husband Thinks: I Want To Share My Wife

1. Voyeurism

​​Your husband might be the type that simply derives motivation and some other gratifications known to him when he sees other men making love with you. This is further elaborated in David Ley’s Why would you do that? (Watch your wife with another man), some men actually opened up to him, saying because their wives are beautiful, they would prefer watching them being made love to by another man than watching some porn actress they don’t know.

2. Enhancement of sexual performance

Jealousy however little it may be that emanates from seeing one’s wife being sexed by another man can be used as a motivation or an improvement over the man’s sex life.

Christopher Ryan, author Terry Gould, and researchers Baker and Bellis corroborated this fact by saying that there is a biological reaction happening that affects a male sexual drive after watching their wife with another man. To them, the husband becomes excited biologically to have longer, and more breath-taken and fun-filled sex subsequently with their wife.

Sexual excitation increases for both partners as a result of the new types of sexual experiences and there are discussions of actual sexual experiences. Apparently, these might be a few of the reasons your husband may want to share you with another man.

3. The pleasure of the taboo

​Your husband might want to see you fucked so hard by another man just for the thrill of breaking the traditional rule of marriage which provides sexual intercourse can be practiced by the husband and wife alone.

4. Financial gain

outside the purview of whoredom, the general belief is that a man who consistently sexes a woman automatically subjects himself to being financially responsible to the woman – at least for her welfare. This might be one of the reasons your husband may want to share you with another man- the monetary benefit that comes with it.

Psychology Today adds another twist to this fact. In their opinion, your husband might take this a bit farther by videotaping your sex adventure with the man he consented to share you with, with the surreptitious intention of blackmailing the latter.

Other Reasons Why Men Do Enjoy It

5. The practice of making cuckoldry

​​Some men derive pleasure in not only seeing their wife being sexed by another man. These men don’t stop there. They feel the thrill more when the other man belittles them in the process.A typical example of a man in this category is Venus in Furs’s Leopold Von Sacher-Masoch, one of the 19th century’s popular erotic novelists. As stated by Psychology Today Masoch posted an advert in a German newspaper asking for energetic men to befriend his wife.

6. To compensate for physical health challenges


​Some men are down with lots of physical health problems, and this has resulted in their poor sexual or zero sexual performance with their wives. Most often, their wife is contented with this unfortunate situation, however, the man might feel the loss of this sexual satisfaction more than their wife; hence, the need to share her with another man to compensate her.

7. To suspend relationship boredom

​When a relationship has a long streak of monotonous undertone, there is every tendency that the partners would start losing interest in each other. In this light, for the purpose of avoiding that to happen, some men might decide to share their wife with another man.

Top 5 Secrets On How To Wife Share

1. Increase the level of trust

​Although there are several reasons that could inform the decision of your husband to want to share you with another man, however, an increase in the level of trust your husband holds for you doubles, as jealousy will have become less of an issue in your relationship with the practice of wife sharing, particularly when the intention of sharing you with another man is all about sexual intimacy.

2. Cures sexual insatiability

​The level of sex drive is relative and depends on factors such as age, the extent of stress exposed to, and relationship status says Emily of Greatist. However, we can’t disprove the fact that normally, we human beings tend not to get satisfied and tired of sex., but where the need for sex intensifies oddly in a man, going for varieties of sex partners appears to be one of the ways of controlling this development,  and one of the ways to achieve this without leaving the thoughts of confrontation in the mind of any of the partners is the adoption of wife-sharing method. Mike Hatcher put this succinctly when he was explaining his new experiences with wife-sharing, his opinion goes thus: “if you opt to experiment with other people's wives, you get to learn new things. Also, you are able to share thoughts and body with someone else. In the end, you become much wiser and more open-minded.”

3. Elimination of infidelity issue

​We quite understand that in traditional marriage, sex practice by any of the partners with anyone other than his or her partner is tantamount to cheating. But when partners could go out with a third party with his or her mind at rest and with no thoughts of being accused of cheating afterward, infidelity becomes less of an issue, and in turn, this development will reduce one of the grounds a marriage can break down irretrievably. 4

4. Develops Communication

​According to PandaGossips, most relationship turns the opposite of a thrill of the chase when communication is missing in it. With wife-sharing, sexual practices lose their sacred feature, and its aspect of “something done in the dark” now takes on more of the narrative of normal everyday activity; hence, it provides for an open discussion between married partners and enhances their communications for there is nothing left to hide.

5. It helps guide against STI

Sexually transmitted infections are infections that can be contracted via sex as described by Pamf. However, OptionsforSexualHealth adds that not all conditions attributed to STI are sexually transmitted. A few examples of STI are Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Hepatitis A, B, C and so on. STIs have been described as infections life-threatening in most cases, and to consider that some of these infections are incurable, Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), one of the infections in this category that topples this list, is an understatement.

It has so far been observed that partners who practice wife sharing are less vulnerable to any Sexually Transmitted Infections because on most occasions these partners would have arranged for a meeting with the third parties, get to know one another, and discuss how to have a safe sex adventure.

Reasons Some Men Need To Share Their Wives With Other Men


Several arguments have been posited by people, particularly those whose affiliation with religion and morality is inseparable. Wife-sharing appears to be an anti-social sex behavior to this group of people.  Meanwhile, those with an open mind, those whose line of thought is scientific in nature don’t care with the submissions of the later as long as there are values to be derived from wife-sharing.

In the mist of all these polarized arguments, we will be looking into some of these discovered values wives sharing positions itself to offer couples who have decided to adopt it- reasons some men need to share their wives with other men.

1. Individual growth

​Looking beyond the “sex had by a partner outside a legal marriage is a taboo”, we will discover that the level of socialization created when a husband shares her wife with another man cannot be realized in the regular traditional marriage because, in the wife sharing relationship, the partners get to learn real time from one another. Maybe for instance where the sexually pursuing partner has always been complaining about not been satisfied, (I will like to make the sexually pursuing partner for the sake of this illustration the husband) and this issue to the wife, is beyond her control. However, let’s say during one of the sessions of the wife sharing tingy! The wife was being rammed from behind, and the third-party partner seems to be so into her to the extent that it was obvious the synchronization between the two is out of this world.Then, in this situation, the husband can get to ask questions from the two parties to know what he has been missing.There and then, the husband can solve whatever problem it is after its ascertaining.

2. Bad habit correction

Humans are made of different stuff, and as such we can never be the same. This cuts across our reasoning, the perception of things around us, and the extent of our tolerance. And this has further gone to the fact that we humans are not designed by our creator to be perfect. we will always have differences as long as we associate with others.

Correcting bad habits in our partner a relationship might be daunting, as we don’t want to come off as rude or confrontational all the time. However, despite our silence or tolerance, we are not doing either us or our partner any good, as bitterness, some of these bad habits of our partner leaves us will have latent negative effect in our interaction with them. No doubt that as time goes on, and as the pressure builds, the relationship will be closing in on its grave.

so then, this makes it important to devise a less harmful method of correcting our partner's bad habits by employing the wife sharing method.

The idea is this: in the course of the wife sharing experience, the partner with the bad habit may be unlucky to be told by the third party about how some of these bad habits of his aren’t going to position him as friendly as he might have thought himself to be. And this will definitely serve as a corroboration of the complaints of his partner. And if this happens frequently in the same manner, you will be sure the partner with the bad habits will have no choice than to put himself in order.

3. Psychological support

Two heads are better than one, and this is the exact case with wife sharing as each partner has a wider chance of being supported not only financially but also psychologically by the third-party partners.

Being psychologically balanced in the opinion of PositivePsychologyProgram has been said to come with few but potential benefits such as improvement of well-being, promotion of working memory, mindfulness act as a buffer against the depressive symptoms associated with discrimination, and increase in set point of one’s happiness.

​4. Free World

As a wife, sharing appears to be deeply established in the list of disapproval of most societies; nonetheless, arguing that values the traditional marriage offers have preeminence over that of wife sharing totally untrue.

In the opinion of Pairedlife, the traditional marriage face the following challenges- these issues are compared and juxtaposed with wife sharing:

  • ​Fidelity is not in the natural state of man and so keeping to the traditional marriage doesn’t change this fact, and neither does wife sharing totally eradicates this.
  • ​Many couples even in a traditional marriage, get stuck in a rut, going over the same issue time and time again, and at the end of the day, their individual key personalities will remain unchanged
  • ​Restriction of freedom of the couples is more prominent in the traditional marriage than we have it in the wife-sharing relationship.
  • ​No type of relationship, whether traditional or wife-sharing, has been able to stay in touch with the reality and true development in society. Each type is trying to create a one-all-fit rule.


What Does It Mean When Your Husband Wants You To Sleep With Another Man?

The first thought after your partner makes this request is that he may be cheating on you, or may have already cheated on you. There are men, however, who have done neither, but simply want to fulfill their fantasies. The process by which a wife has sex with another man is called cucking or cuckolding. This is a fetish that some men have, especially when they love to play the submissive role.

How Can I Make My Husband Happy In Bed?

There are a thousand ways to make your husband happy in bed that will make you unforgettable too. Consider having quickies to see how powerful you are while watching him enjoy just you. Take the psychological pressure off your man by being more in control. Watch him lie on his back and enjoy you satisfying him!

How Do You Know If He Is Satisfied With Your Performance In Bed?

If a guy loves how you play between the sheets, he's always ready to be with you. Hell love to cuddle with you, he's very vocal about his satisfaction and initiates sex willingly, because he's sexually attracted to you. Affection between both of you is frequent, and sex often isn't an issue between you two. 

Why Does My Husband Not Want To Make Love To Me?

The problem might be from him and not you. Sometimes, physical issues can cause a man not to want to have sex with his wife. Topics such as a low sex drive, low testosterone, and stress can make him uninterested in having sex.

Is It Normal To Fantasize About Your Partner With Someone Else?

It's perfectly normal to picture your partner with another person, even when you really love them. It's often a fantasy and not something anybody will act upon. Communicating fantasizes such as these with your partner can bring both of you closer and also create a deeper intimacy between you both.

Final words

As long as we are humans and we remain on earth and stay in association with one another, we cannot avoid challenges, and no doctrine or principle of relationship is competent enough to be branded self-sufficient. According to Pairedlife, “we should embrace the various different sorts of human relationships and treat them all equally, such as one-parent families, homosexual relationships…” Hence, going for the relationship that appears to provide one with happiness should be the aim of everyone.  Your happiness should come first.

Do you love this article or do you have personal thoughts about any of the points it makes, don’t hesitate to drop them in the comment box? Share with your friends and don’t forget to smash the like button.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

31 comments on “Wife Sharing: Why Does My Husband Want To Share Me? (The Honest Truth)”

  1. Ladies! Don’t buy this! You can have compassion for these issues without condoning this behavior as a way of managing our fears. This is an awful article that basically enables bad behavior. Learn to be faithful and you will find the rewards there in. Let’s aspire to something more than succumbing to fears and base desires. Let’s do better by each other in Love.

    1. tell you what. try to imagine your mom being shared and if you're okay with that then i'll start to listen to your bs.

  2. My friend accidentally share his with friends and after that his wife do a lot more easy or easy going with everyone but respect her man and he that is good

  3. I have wanted to share my wife for many years, but she won't hear of it. I respect her position, so just fantisise about it happening. I regularly remind her she is free to try sex with another man if she changes her mind.

  4. After many years of marriage my wife would ask me to tell her something sexy whilst we were making love. On one occasion I said that I had found a man who fancied her and I had invited him round to have sex with her, I then blindfolded her and made out that I was that other man, this made her extremely excited. After, we discussed our feelings and realized that we both were turned on by the idea, we agreed that we would try. It was some time before we found a suitable man, and on the first occasion my wife went with him to a hotel, relating every detail to me when she came home and I reclaimed her by having the most unbelievable sex ever. Since that first occasion I have shared my wife with a number of men and it has made our marriage and sex life so much more passionate and enjoyable. We are now looking forward to the weekend when we have invited one of her previous gentlemen friends round. This will be the third time she has had sex with him and she admits that he is the best due to his large penis which is 1" larger than mine.

    1. Your wife is a very lucky lady. She sounds so amazing. My nextdoor neighbor loves to watch me f*ck his wife. She really gets into it. She always squirts when I am doing her.

      1. My wife would and i want my best mate Brodie to impregnate her she wants to be mother of his kids too. Move in with us and be a strong family.

    2. Your wife sounds amazing. I have been with my girlfriend for over 10 years. I shared my fantasy with her about seeing her in a threesome pleasuring 2 d*cks. She responded by saying, "maybe". While making love, we'll dirty talk. As I'm in her, she'll take my hand and suck on my fingers as a 2nd d*ck. I'll say, "That's my girl! Show me how you're going to suck him." She'll then start sucking my fingers harder and deeper. So far it has been role playing. We'll see what happens down the road.

  5. That was smart i see how it would make the man in you up and be notice .i have life of fantasies .I just about 60 in July and I'm not fat have all my 5 9 150lbs. And long hair latin and. Horny passionate like I was 16 again but u living the dream but # 1 on my bucket list lol

  6. loved all the comments. would love to see/witness my wife having two cocks at once...one on her mouth one in her pussy...shes up for it but dont know how to progresss from here ..,.help...!

  7. The first time i had about wife sharing, i thought what an awful idea. I sounded like the very breaking of what some fights so hard to protect. I could not see any sane man allowing their treasure to be tested by another treasure hunter.
    Then i realised, if it takes two to agree, What really could go wrong?
    The more i thought about it, the more i realised how happy many that practice wife sharing are. All in the name of resembling cheating, i realised what we call cheating, is not really cheating. Wife sharing because along the way, not betrayal is committed.

  8. Ladies, I am a 39 year old man who was married for 16 years to the beautiful mother of my 5 children. It's over now and I no longer have romantic feelings towards her but I would never want her to be abused or hurt!
    Coming from a man, I can promise you that if you have a husband that wants to share you with another man, you have made a huge mistake!
    It's okay and there's nothing wrong with you! You were deceived but you need to accept the fact that you are not married to a man! Your husband is, in fact, a sick and depraved little boy masquerading as a man!
    He is absolutely addicted to porn and he is weak and effeminate at his core!
    He actually hates women in his heart of hearts but he needs a woman's validation to make himself complete!
    Yall may not like it but this is the absolute truth!

    1. Will, you're full of it. I know a lot of happy couples that share the wife. Just because you're too insecure to finally pleasure your wife using another man.

    2. It's sick. Even when a man thinks its ok for another man to cloak and disguise himself to text or call his girlfriend or wife. Its so sick.

  9. My wife and I have been married for 15 years. I've recently admitted to her my desire to have a threesome. Her initial reaction was that I wanted another female to join us. I had to explain I wanted another guy to help satisfy her. What really has developed is my foot fetish. I now want to strictly watch/share her with another guy who has a foot fetish like me. She hasn't agreed to anything yet, but it does seem she is opening up more and more about it. I'm just not sure when to ask again or how to bring it up again. Any helpers out there?

  10. I also love the topic and idea of wife sharing, swinging, and hotwifing. I brought the topics up with the wife openly. She was game for the fantasy side while in bed using a dildo or vibrator as the second male, but not ready to do in real life. Yes, the sex is hot as hell and she loves the idea. We have never gone any farther than this. Recently I became injured and only have random control of my member ( ie, getting hard ). I feel deflated but at same time refuse to get medical surgery. So, both of us reiterated the need for a second male to give her full pleasure. She agrees and we are currently looking for a good fit. Our sex and relationship continues to get hotter. I wish I could keep a full mass all the time. But, the above ideas are keeping our love life sizzling.

  11. Ladies if you are reading this article please skip the part about the husband doing this to compensate for his own cheating. Moat cheaters do not want their spouse to do the same to make things even and the number that ask for this for that reason I will bet is less than 1%. I have these feelings and have studied other men that do also and it has everything to do with their own sexuality and the sexuality of their wife and nothing to do with cheating. Men love this wife sharing because it is sexually stimulating period. The psychology of sperm competition is the single biggest factor in my opinion and men who share their wives with other men are some of the most loyal men around. You can almost guarantee your husbands devotion to you if you are having sex with other men with his support.

  12. Ladies if you are reading this article please skip the part about the husband doing this to compensate for his own cheating. Most cheaters do not want their spouse to do the same to make things even and the number that ask for this for that reason I will bet is less than 1%. I have these feelings and have studied other men that do also and it has everything to do with their own sexuality and the sexuality of their wife and nothing to do with cheating. Men love this wife sharing because it is sexually stimulating period. The psychology of sperm competition is the single biggest factor in my opinion and men who share their wives with other men are some of the most loyal men around. You can almost guarantee your husbands devotion to you if you are having sex with other men with his support.

  13. Had this fantasy for many years. The night it finally came true was incredible. My wife is beautiful to me and I've thoroughly enjoyed watching her with other men. For me its the voyeurism and knowing she is enjoying the pleasure. I wrestled with the morality of this in my mind for years and my conclusion is its very normal for some men. How can it not be when so many enjoy it.

  14. I want to be humbled by seeing another man pursue my wife sexually and see her succumb to it. I’m not a voyeur, and I’m not a cuck. I’m a guy who’s been with the same woman for 31 years.
    I want her to try a bigger D... and a smaller one too. I want her to experience a quick guy and a total hunk. She’s 50, exercises and for her age group, she’s a solid 9+. I know this, but I want the existential experience of seeing other men trying to seduce her. I want to see her beautiful body pressed against another man and be humbled and amazed by what she can do to him and what he can do to her.
    She practices her biology on me 3-4 days each week. I’m sure she’d have different feelings, different reactions and a different experience with another man.
    The taboo experience is a factor... but for me, I think it’s more about the humbling. I cannot be any more vulnerable with my wife than to open the door for her and encourage her to try another man. Will i need to step up my game and compete for her affection when I see she could succumb to her lustful desires for another man?

  15. I have no problem sharing my wife. She was very promiscuous when we met, and that is why we started dating. She was center of attention of several gang bangs we had taken part in before we got together. I knew just because we were together, she wouldn't change who she was, and I didn't want her to. I love thinking of all the cock she has had over the years.
    We have one friend I especially like watching with her. He has low hanging balls, and I am fascinated to watch his balls rise in his scrotum every time he cums inside of her.
    She is now 64, and I would be disappointed if she changed her lifestyle now.

  16. U am 65 year old man and a widower and i could NEVER EVER do such a wicked thing,this is so sinful. YOU NEVER EVER DEFILE THE MARITAL BED

  17. i am a 65 year old man and a widower and i give thanks to God i never had to encounter such things as this as i have also read that 30% of women want to cuckold their husbands and some husbands go along with this shameful activity.This was not a big thing back 45 years ago and good thing it wasn't because of the carnage it would have brought to so many.How could any self respecting man and woman-(wife) even look at her husband the next day after doing this to him and how could any man even look at himself in the mirror while shaving the next day knowing he lead his wife into sinning-adultery and also the sin of defiling the marital bed.i know when i start seeing this i realize how far we have fallen into the abyss.

  18. i saw a HBO show on this topic and it gave me a better understanding as both husband and wife spoke and i listened to them and from the way they explained wife sharing(they used both words explaining this- they called it wife sharing and cuckoldry and after listening to the show in the topic i believe i could adopt this lifestyle and i see if the love between husband and wife is real and strong then it could be a very good thing for both of them. The wife said her husband got to have other woman and she said that she felt that would only be fair, i can her point and by him doing so brought energy and excite when they got back with each other.so i believe i could do this now. the way it was explained this is becoming more acceptable and a lifestyle choice foe many married couples.

  19. well my girlfriend(Fiance)and i finally tried this and it went really well and my soon to be wife really enjoyed this and even i enjoyed this as well and it added excitement and better communication between my future wife and me. So i say thumbs up to sharing as long as your relationship is strong and there is plenty of love between a couple and good communication as well.

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