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Why Does My Ex Hate Me? (10 Shocking Reasons You Should Know)

by Michele Kelsey

Are you thinking, “Why does my ex hate me?” That’s a tough question to answer as each person has their own reasons. You may feel cheated since you can’t read their mind, but you may know more than you think.

Why did the two of you break up? What was the last conversation you had about? Think hard. The answer may very well be in there. 

If your ex is ignoring you, he may very well despise you, or he may just need some space away from you. He’d like to move on without having the constant memories of you flooding his mind. Here, we’ll look at 10 reasons your ex may hate you - reasons you may not have thought of, so read on to find the shocking true reasons as to why there’s bad blood in the water now.

Surprising Reasons Why Your Ex May Still Hate You

1. You Were Abusive.

If you were physically, mentally, or emotionally abusive to your ex, there’s a good chance that he’s doesn’t want anything to do with you. You hurt him in some way, and he’s now learned that the behavior was wrong; in order to move on, he’s decided it’s best to have nothing to do with you. That’s why he may be ignoring you or, at least, seeming to hate you.

2. You Stole From Them.

What do they claim you have of theirs? Was there something the two of you bought together that they think they should keep? Did you keep belongings of theirs? There’s a good chance they are just mad and want to get back their stuff; not because they want it, but just so they have a reason to be pissed. After all, you know they never wore that old t-shirt that you love.

3. You Moved On Too Fast.

After a long marriage, did you move in with a new guy within a month? That’s going to look suspicious. It may have been a whirlwind relationship that just blossomed that way, but to your ex, it looks like you were cheating! If you already have a new special person in your life, you may have crushed your ex, ruining any chance they had of getting back together with you.

4. You Dumped Them.

You may have had valid reasons for ending the relationship, but if you ended things, your ex might just see betrayal and unfairness. After all, weren’t the two of you in a committed relationship? Why did you have to bail before you guys could work things out? At least, that may be what’s running through his mind. He may be very hurt, and hating you is the easiest way to deal.

5. You Cheated On Them.

This sting is hard to forgive. Some people view cheating as unforgivable regardless of the situation. Maybe you were “on a break” like in the show, Friends, but as you may remember, it’s a toss-up as to who is right given those parameters. Were you broken up at the time? It probably doesn’t matter. If your ex thinks you cheated, you may be in the dog house for life.

6. You Said Hurtful Things.

Tempers run hot during fights, especially when they lead to breakups. Do you remember all the hurtful things that you said to your ex? He probably does. There are just some things, once said, that are unforgivable. You may have even have apologized, but there are times when you know what to say, you know what a low blow was, and you did it anyway. 

7. You Took All Your Mutual Friends.

Often, when things end in a relationship, the mutual friends go one way or another. This may not be your fault, but your ex still can blame you for it. Probably, your ex hates the fact that those people chose you over him, but that wasn’t your fault. However, if he needs someone to blame, someone to accuse for the wrongdoing in his life, it’s easy to make you the scapegoat.

8. You Badmouthed Them.

Did you announce all of your ex’s flaws on social media, in front of a bunch of people, or did you tell his friends and family his dirty secrets? You may have thought, “My ex hates me, what’s it matter if I get back at him this way?” Well, you did it, and you have the reason why he probably hates you, too. You bashed him in a public way; people don’t usually forgive that easily.

9. You Got Them In Trouble.

Did you tell their boss or coworkers dirty little secrets that you know would get them in trouble at work? Or, did you tell his mom about his porn collection or worse yet, did you talk to the authorities about his illegal pot farm? Yeah, it was so justifiable at the time, right? You were mad and didn’t care, but, now they probably hate you for what you put them through.

10. You Ignored Them When They Needed You.

You may have been going through a No Contact phase or just needed to have some space, or maybe you just didn’t care and were mad at him when he contacted you. But did you know what he wanted? Maybe it was something only you could have helped with, maybe there was a death in the family, or he lost his job. If you weren’t there, he might just hate you now.

Does My Ex Still Love Me?

Are you wondering, “Does he still love me?” Well, even though he may have a sound reason for hating you, he may still feel love for you. The two emotions can occur at the same time. They are both strong feelings. In fact, hate and love are two very similar passions - even though they are on opposite sides of the spectrum. 

It’s possible that your ex hates you right now for something you said or did, but deep down, he still loves you. Some of the signs your ex still has feelings for you include:

  • They continue to contact you all the time.
  • They ask your friends or family about how you are doing.
  • They say things like: “I love you” or “I miss you.”
  • They act nostalgic, reminding you of better times when you talk.
  • They tag you in posts on social media.
  • They make grand gestures like sending you roses on your birthday.

Are you thinking, “I hate my ex, and my ex hates me?” If so, why do you care, “why my ex hates me?” While that question may help you take a step back and question your motives for understanding your ex’s hate, in reality, it’s good to know. If you understand, “why my ex hates me,” you acknowledge your faults and can do self-improvement to work on them.

FAQs

How Do You Deal With An Ex That Hates You?

Find out what you did wrong; then, treat the underlying reason. You may want to consider going to counseling to learn from the experience. The best thing you can do is to grow and move on from what happened. Create a new life with someone else.

How Do You Tell If Your Ex Hates You?

Their actions should give you an indication of their feelings. If your ex is ignoring you or has ceased all contact, it’s a good sign that they don’t want anything more to do with you (or that they are recovering by themselves). Let it go and find someone new.

Why Is My Ex So Angry When She Left Me?

Did you make a mistake? For someone to get really angry, they had to feel love. The person probably may feel it’s time to get on with their life. This doesn’t mean that the person doesn’t love you very much, though. It’s just time to make a new life.

What Does It Mean When Your Ex Ignores You?

The person may feel like it’s easier to cease contact than to have a platonic relationship. They may just need space, a chance to get their life together as much as possible without you in it. Give the person the space they need, and they may even come back.

How Do You Know If Your Ex Is Over You?

If they move on with a new relationship, you may need to move on. Although, even then, the person may just be trying to get even with you. It’s much easier just to talk to them to get a feel for any love they may still have for you.

To Sum Things Up…

There are many reasons that an ex may feel hatred. We all make mistakes, and yours may have cost you this person. 

Do you feel much hatred toward any of your exes? Tell us how you feel in the comments below and share this with anyone in need of it!

Michele Kelsey
After decades of experience dating, I finally found my prince. It was not an easy road. I kissed plenty of frogs to find Mr. Right and learned a lot from my mistakes. I enjoy writing and feel especially lucky that I get to share my expertise on my favorite subject – love. I’ve been happily married for almost a decade now, but I love giving relationship advice.

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