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Why Can't I Love Someone Who Loves Me? (13 Notable Reasons)

by Sonya Schwartz

Falling in love is a great feeling. When you are in a situation where you can't fall for someone who loves you could be very devastating.

Sometimes, the reason we can't fall for our partners has nothing to do with them. At the same time, this might not be from you either. It could be you guys just don’t connect to each other at all. When your man gets unrequited love, this can hurt so much. It's better to end whatsoever you have with him than to hurt him.

Even though you feel some kind of guilt because he loves you and wants you guys to work out, don’t try to force things to work out because this could make things worse for you. The more you try hard to fall for your partner the more you get to lose interest in him.

Are you worried about the reasons you can’t fall for him? Here are 13 reasons why.

13 Reasons Why You Can't Be In Love With A Person Who Loves You

1. Love is diverse

People are different and so are love and feelings. Everybody has different ways of loving someone and it’s possible that you may not feel any form of attraction or love towards a man who has strong feelings for you. Because you are both different and you cannot force the heart to choose what it doesn’t want to.

If you don't connect with him at all, or you don't have the same values, goals, and dreams this could be a reason you don't love him. You should know what you want in a man. Don't ever think it is selfishness when you don't reciprocate his feelings, this could be a good reason.

2. You’re in love with someone else

You’re in love with someone else

Your heart knows what it wants. So when you finish looking out for feelings that won’t develop and you look within yourself, you’d realize someone else is already in your heart. So you asked 'why can’t I fall for the man who loves me?' and I say it's simply because you’re in love with someone else, your heart is longing for another. 

This may not be your case but it’s true in some cases. One reason you may be unable to love a person that loves you is that you are in love with another person. And this affects a lot of relationships mostly because the partners involved never want to admit the truth when they want someone else.

3. Attention

Maybe the reason you can’t fall for that guy that loves you is that you have not given enough attention to him. Your heart does not know him so it’s hard to fall for him. You need to know your man, be open, be willing to know some vital things about him. Nobody wants to be with a person they don't know.

When you give your partner more attention, affection starts to grow because you find out new things about the person and you just see how amazing he is and before you know it, you are in love. Lack of attention has broken some relationships, you don't just want to jump to a conclusion rather try and figure out what is wrong

4. You have trust issues

One other thing is that you are not sure and you do not believe that he loves you as he says. Or maybe he is a liar or a cheat so it’s hard to trust him. This happens most times because of your past relationships, when you have been heartbroken trusting your man can be difficult.

If you don’t trust him, why fall in love with him? So, your trust issues can be what is restricting you from loving him back. There is this fear of getting a heartbeat later that restricts you from falling head over heels for him. But you must learn to move on and make things work between you and your man

5. Fairytale belief

You may have believed in a fairytale so much that you expected the birds to sing when you first saw him. Or, you wanted the clouds to rain as a sign. Or maybe you expected the stars to form the heart shape up in the day, just to show that he loved you and you got disappointed. 

So, the disappointment you got from not seeing all those signs you hoped for is the reason you didn’t open your heart to fall for him right away. You need to stop thinking fairy tales happen and face life the way it is. If not, one day, you might wake up and realize you loosed the one who really cared about you all because of your silly fairytale beliefs

6. You don’t want more

So, people come into your life and all you want from them is friendship so no matter how intense their feelings get for you. You only see them as friends and that’s all it will ever be. You don’t want more than friendship so you cannot feel more than what friends should feel toward each other. When you force yourself to become partners it may end in tears.

If you don't want more from him, make it clear when he starts shooting his shot, don't try forcing yourself to get involved with him. At this point your honesty will save the both of you from unnecessary dramas.

7. No reality check

No reality check

While you are wallowing in your fairytale emotions and waiting for magical signs of what love is, you probably forgot to do a reality check on what it actually is. As much as love is a strong feeling, it is a decision and also a commitment. 

Sometimes, your heart, body, and soul open up to a person when you choose to fall for that person, In as much as there are a lot of ways to fall for someone, love is a choice. No one falls for a person without making a decision, so make sure you check yourself and be sure you are not the one restricting yourself and haven't decided to make the big decision yet.

8. There are no rules in love

You can get a thousand causes not to fall for a person but there is no reason to love him. Loving does not need a reason and it does not follow any particular pattern. It doesn’t happen by magic but in another sense. It is magical and if you are looking for a reason to fall for a guy then you are not into him. 

Love is not something you give because you got it from your man, it’s something you give unconditionally and if the only reason you want to give back is that you were given then it’s bad and not worth it. Stop restricting yourself, stop giving boundaries, stop trying to give yourself excuses why you should be with him. Rather, be with him and forget about your checklist of a perfect man.

9. Different standards

He probably can’t meet up to your standards for a relationship. Maybe his passion, energy, and commitment are not enough for you. You must ask yourself these questions. Do you guys have the same values, religious belief, are your dreams and goals the same? Are you constantly in doubt of his love or dissatisfied by his personality and input?

It’s hard to open up your heart to him with uncertainty. If they aren't then you are not meant to be together, this can be the reason you don't feel the same way he feels about you.

10. Love happens

Although you have to decide and choose who to love and be committed to, we cannot dispute the fact that love happens and it cannot be forced. When you force yourself to fall for a person, it will most likely be repulsive.

It is very possible not to be able to reciprocate the love a person has for you. Maybe because of something going on in your life. But staying at peace and being honest with yourself is more important than forcing something that you don't want to be.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

11. Low self esteem

You may feel inadequate or undeserving of the love you receive from him. Sometimes, a guy may come into your life and just be Mr. Perfect with no flaws and no shortcomings. Then you start to feel like he is too good for you or you are not good enough for your partner. 

So that struggle to be more or do more or fit into his personality can make you start losing interest in him. When you do not have high self-esteem you tend to think he is doing too much for you even when they aren’t.

12. Physical and emotional distance

When you hardly see each other and communicate less and there is no emotional accessibility, there is a tendency you won’t feel anything for him anymore even if you felt something before. 

Like the saying goes 'silence makes the heart grow fonder'. Distance in a relationship creates more time for you as an individual to have personal reflections and you can realize that you do not love that guy even if he loves you for real. Sometimes, the reason we are unable to love a person the way we want to is that there is no physical or emotional connection with them.

13. Guilt

In a relationship, love and commitment may seem one-sided. You may feel that the energy you are putting into the relationship is less and you start to force yourself to give love in the same dimension that your partner is giving.

If you fail in the attempt to reciprocate back, then you start feeling guilty and even your fear overshadows you and you start to question your love for him. You may actually love him, just not as much as he does at that point in time and it’s ok. 

FAQs

What to do when you love someone you can't be with? 

Take some break away from the person. Do not hide your feelings rather work through them. If you feel like crying then cry. It's ok to feel disappointed but don’t be so hard on yourself, and spend time focusing on yourself.

Can a person be incapable of love? 

Not really. Everyone is capable of loving except those who have emotional deprivation disorder. Maybe people feel they are not with the right one, or they are scared of the outcome of falling for someone.

What does it mean when it's hard to love someone? 

It means you are trying but it is just not working, and this could be because you are not getting what you want from them or they are not the one you want to be with.

Why do I have a hard time accepting love? 

This could be because you are still living with your past experience, maybe because of your previous heartbreak. Or you could just be expecting too much from your relationship, and you are not willing to compromise and make things work.

How do you leave someone you love but can't be with? 

If you are in love with a man you can’t be with the best thing to do is to take a break from them, you have to give them space so you can get over your feelings for them.

To Conclude

I hope you found this article helpful? Don’t be too hard on yourself. If someone loves you and you don’t feel it, this is perfectly ok. Let me know what you think, and please don't forget to share this article with others.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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