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When He Pulls You Closer In His Sleep: 15 Hidden Meanings

There’s nothing like lying down to sleep with your partner. The second best thing is when he wraps his arm around you and pulls you closer. While this is the sweetest gesture, you can’t help but wonder what it means when a man does this. 

What Does It Mean When He Pulls You Closer At Bedtime?

Psychologists continue to study what different sleep positions mean about couples. They’ve determined what it means when you sleep facing the other way and what other sleep positions mean. Now, let’s take things a step further and figure out what those adorable gestures, like spooning you, mean when they happen in the middle of the night.

1. It’s a good sign for your relationship

When couples sleep further apart it can signal that they are not as close. This could also be because the two aren’t comfortable with one another yet. However, him pulling you closer is the opposite. It means that he feels more connected with you and that he might be willing to go outside of his comfort zone to feel you in his arms all night. 

Keep in mind that this doesn’t apply to all situations. It can be a great sign. These same actions can also be a sign that he’s afraid of something. Anxiety can present itself as him wanting to be closer to someone too.

2. He’s old fashioned

When a man has more traditional values, he views himself as the protector and provider. This view is a bit outdated now, but there are still plenty of men that feel this way. When he spoons you from the back or pulls you closer to wrap his arms around you, it makes him feel more protective over you. 

Pay attention to how he acts to determine if this is it. Men that are protective won’t just show a sign when it is time to go to bed. Instead, you’ll see a sign every time you’re around him. 

He might put his hand on your back to guide you across the street. Insisting on carrying in the groceries is another sign of him having traditional values. The same goes for opening your car door.

3. He wants physical contact to fall asleep

Cuddling in any form is relaxing. Some people need that to get a good night’s rest. Sleeping in this position provides the largest amount of physical contact, which makes it perfect for your man if he is feeling stressed. 

To determine if this is why he’s pulling you closer, pay attention to when he does it. Men that are pulling you across the bed when they have a bad day are more than likely in need of some cuddle therapy. Men that do this regardless of whether their day was good or bad are doing it for another reason.

4. You think it’s cute

Once a man does something that you like, and he knows that you like it, he’s more likely to do it again. Men love to make their partners feel loved and cozy. So, think back to the first time that you were in bed together and he pulled you closer. 

Did you snuggle close to him? Tell him that you loved it when he did that? Those are the types of positive reinforcement that will encourage him to do a behavior again and again. It could have nothing to do with him.

5. There’s a problem in the relationship

While most people view sleeping apart as a sign that the relationship needs work, this is another way to tell that you might need to have a talk about the relationship. 

This is because it’s a sign that he’s afraid of you leaving. Instead of having a talk, he’s using this sleep position to tell himself that it’s okay. He reassures himself that the relationship is fine because you are right there. 

Men that do this in their sleep might pull you closer at night because they are insecure in the relationship during the day. Don’t bring this up before going to bed. Instead, have a routine maintenance talk with your man to make sure that he feels okay.

6. He’s cold

hes cold

When it comes to feeling warm, there’s nothing that can compare to one person’s body lined up against yours. If the nights have grown colder, and suddenly his sleep position has changed, he’s using you to keep warm at night.

7. You two trust each other

This traditional sleeping position signals that the two of you trust each other. Spooning involves one person having their back to the other person, which is the ultimate form of trust. When your man pulls you closer, it could be that the relationship is full of trust if you end up in this position.

8. He’s feeling hurt

Because this position is soothing, it could be a hint that his feelings are still a bit hurt. He wraps his arm around you and pulls you closer because it makes him feel better. 

This is common in relationships that work through issues. For example, if you know that he’s worried that you’re interested in another man, he might pull you closer at night. This could also be because he’s concerned about the relationship in general.

9. It’s the start of sex

Men do this when they are feeling romantic. It’s often before they start kissing your neck or touching certain areas. While this also says quite a few things about relationships, such as it is trusting, it is still primarily because he is interested in making love.

10. He feels like you’re his other half

Picture a yin yang sign. The two halves make a whole. Often, when people feel this way regarding relationships, they show this through loving gestures. He’ll pull you closer at night. In the morning, you two are in perfect sync. Couples that function like this will do a lot of things together.

11. Your man isn’t scared of intimacy

Pulling you closer signals that you have a close relationship. Relationships that are packed with intimacy involve more than romantic kissing. It involves a deeper level of understanding. 

The four types of intimacy are physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional. You and your man might have plenty of all of them. However, when your husband pulls you closer, he needs more physical. When this is the reason, he needs more affection as well. He’d be interested in cuddling more. Try giving your spouse random kisses.

12. Your partner feels ignored

your partner feels ignored

We often forget that men want attention as badly as women do. In fact, they crave it. However, because boyfriends are typically bad at expressing that, we tend to ignore their needs. We don’t mean to ignore them, but it happens. 

If your spouse suddenly starts pulling you closer, and needs attention, lay your head on his chest. Wrap your legs over his. Talk to him while you’re laying your head on his chest. Those little reminders can help him feel loved too.

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13. The perfect position for making love

Some guys do this because they want sex, but it’s not always about sex. Other times, they enjoy making love. He wants to take his time instead of having a quick sex session. It won’t take long to figure this one out. 

Instead of quick kisses, expect him to touch the intimate parts of your body. He’ll put his legs over yours. When guys want to make love, they take their time working up to having sex.

14. He misses you

A husband missing you can be a good sign. It means that he still has feelings for you! However, it can mean that he won’t be able to fall asleep without you next to him in bed. Take this as a sign that he wants to spend more time with you. 

Women that have been particularly busy will notice their partner doing this more. It’s because men often wind up using body language to reveal things they have a hard time putting into words. Tell him that you miss him too. Schedule a date night with him to spend some extra quality time together.

15. He wants to be closer to you

Men use this position to say what is in their hearts. If you’re just friends with benefits, he wants more. In a relationship, he wants to be closer on a more intimate level. This position is his way of saying that. What you do with that depends on what you want. 

First, consider your situation with him. Are you in a relationship? If not, how do you feel about being committed to him? Those are the questions you need to ask yourself before taking action. 

Women that aren’t a fan of being more than FWB with a guy will need to put some distance between the two of you. Stop seeing him as often. This will help you avoid hurting his feelings, and it might be enough for him to get the hint that you don’t want to be more. 

If you’re already in a relationship, consider ways to become more intimate with one another. Talk about feelings to bond deeply on an emotional level. Give each other a shoulder to cry on. Communicating is a great way to get started. 

You can also be more physical. Hold hands when you’re out. Kiss each other every morning and throughout the day. Random acts of affection are great. Cuddling is another awesome idea. Other ways to help the two of you become more intimate include: 

  • Create a list of fun things and do them together
  • Read a book together
  • Put down your phone so time spent together is quality time
  • Show interest in each other
  • Take a class together
  • Have dinner every night with each other
  • Enjoy joint showers
  • Hold hands more
  • Learn about each other any time that you have the chance

When we start relationships, we tend to expect everything to fall into place. That doesn’t always happen. You’ll have to work on things with each other for the rest of the relationship. Doing these things can help you have a successful, happy partnership. 


What does it mean when a guy spoons you while sleeping?

He feels very close to you. Your relationship is full of trust. It’s a great way to make a relationship more intimate. Spooning is a sign that he is protective over you. He needs physical contact to fall asleep. He’s old-fashioned. 

Do guys cuddle if they don't like you?

Sometimes. Usually, this is a sign that he has deeper feelings for you. However, there are FWB situations where he might care about you, but not like you as more than a friend. Sometimes, a guy just wants to cuddle. It could mean absolutely nothing. 

What does it mean when a guy kisses you while sleeping?

It means that he is fond of you. While you’re sleeping he’s thinking about how much he loves you. A forehead kiss can signal that he is feeling protective over you. When a guy kisses you while you’re sleeping, it usually means that he was watching you sleep and thinks you’re beautiful. He’s instantly attracted to you and then wants to kiss you. 

What does it mean when a man sleeps with his back to you?

This is common at the beginning of a relationship. It’s a sign that there is not a lot of closeness there. However, because his back is to you, it means that he trusts you. He feels relaxed around you, so he doesn’t feel that he has to sleep facing you. Men that are comfortable with their partner are also prone to this sleeping position

How do you tell if a man is falling for you?

His behavior will change. Men that have stronger feelings might suddenly be quiet or stop texting because they have scared themselves. He could start being clingy, too. Expect more affection. Men might start holding hands more, being more romantic, or kissing you on the forehead. 

In Summary

When a guy pulls you closer to him in his sleep, it’s usually a great sign. However, there are a few situations that mean your relationship is in trouble. What does it mean when your spouse does this?


Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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