When someone breaks up with you, you can feel a variety of emotions. You might be sad, or instantly feel a sense of loss. Anger is a common reaction. You put so much effort into this and they’re just walking away? That can be a tough pill to swallow.
It can be easy to lash out in anger and spew your emotional hurt all over the place. However, that’s not always a great idea. There are quite a few things that you can say in response to a breakup.
Before you respond, you want to think about what you want out of the conversation. Do you want closure? Do you want to stay in a relationship with your boyfriend? If you want to use this as an opportunity for self-improvement, now’s the time to ask why.
Whatever you want out of this conversation should control how you respond to it. There are also a few things you should not do.
1. Don’t kiss them
Now is not the time to try and get physical. It can leave you feeling used if things don’t work out, and it can make them feel awkward.
2. Don’t try to get sexy and sensual
This might seem like a great idea to remind them of the good times, but there are a few things wrong with it.
3. Can I have a second chance?
If you know that you were not behaving as you should, and don’t want to lose them, asking is always a great idea. If they say no, you’ll know that you need to move on. If they say yes, you’ll know what direction to take the conversation in.
When someone breaks up with you, you’re bound to wonder why. Even if you don’t wonder why immediately, you might wonder later. When the partnership seemed perfect, and you’re caught off guard, ask them why they felt the need to end things.
5. What do you think the problems in our relationship were?
This is another open-ended question that can help you gain clarity as to why things have ended. It gives your partner the opportunity to explain their perspective on things. Even if you don’t feel that the two of you can work things out, it can help you learn things you can improve on with your next partner. Self-growth is a wonderful thing!
6. I don’t want this
Perhaps your partner feels like they don’t have a choice, and are left with no option other than to break up. State how you feel. Maybe they don’t want it either.
7. Don’t interrupt them when they are talking
It can be hard. Hear what they have to say before responding.
8. Act mature
Now is not the time to act childish. If you struggle with that, take a break and continue the conversation at a later date.
9. You can act immature if you want to
I’m not a fan of this, but sometimes you just want to act immature. That’s okay too. You’re the one in the breakup, and you can do whatever you would like to.
10. Tell them you’re hurt
When you tell them that you’re hurt, it expresses your feelings. If you have a hard time doing that, it’s never too late to start. This can let your now ex know how you feel, which can help them have an effective conversation with you.
11. No name-calling
Name-calling is disrespectful. It will steer the conversation into argument territory.
12. Be respectful
Using the conversation as an opportunity for growth and closure is ideal. That won’t happen if you can’t be respectful.
13. Don’t place blame
14. Give your point of view
A lot of arguments can be avoided or resolved by people looking at things from a different perspective. You don’t always have to agree with the other person, and they don’t have to agree with you. Yet, giving your point of view can help give you closure. You’ll also create a safe place for your partner to give you their perspective.
15. Try to be positive
Every relationship has good times and bad. Likewise, there are great things that we take from every situation. Even if you don’t realize them at the time, they are there.
16. Postpone the conversation until you’re emotionally ready to have it
Emotional outbursts are common when we are hurt or angry. If you want to scream or wish death on them, consider giving yourself more time to calm down before trying to talk things out.
17. Try not to be defensive
Effective communication is impossible when we’re defensive. Instead, we worry about making ourselves look good or hurting the other person.
18. Say thank you for the great times
It never hurts to say thank you. Not only will this help the other person (they are hurting too), but it will also help you maintain a more positive outlook.
19. Find a silver lining if you can
Maybe there weren’t a lot of good times. That doesn’t mean that there wasn’t a silver lining, though. Think of the things you learned. Places or people that got to enjoy.
20. Be grateful
Be grateful for those silver linings and the good times.
21. Tell them goodbye
When you say goodbye, it signals the end. Saying those words will help you realize that it’s really over. Then, you can begin the process of moving on.
22. I don’t want to do this, but I will respect your decision
You express your feelings and maintain your respectful demeanor. This is the perfect response if you’re hurt, don’t know what to say, and still want to respond.
23. I’m going to miss you so much
Maybe they’ll miss you too...
24. I want you to be in my life, and I will miss you, but I understand why you want to break up
25. I’ll never stop loving you
26. I’m sorry that it had to end, and I’m here if you ever want to talk
27. Don’t beg them to stay in your life
You’ll regret it in the future. Besides, you should never have to beg anyone to stay in your life.
28. Wish them the best of luck in the future
29. You can always say nothing, especially if they were classless enough to break up with you via text
No response is still a response. Sometimes, it’s the only response a situation deserves.
30. Is there someone else?
If it’s in the back of your mind, you might as well ask. Make sure you’re prepared for the answer.
31. Do you still love me?
If you’re wondering, you might as well ask. There are a few problems with this though. If they say no, you’ll get an answer but be more hurt. If they say yes, it can give you false hope for the future. Think long and hard before you ask this.
32. Can we still be friends?
33. This really caught me off guard. I won’t disrespect your decision, but I’m going to need a few days to process this before we can have a conversation about it
34. This hurts a lot right now, and I’m very angry. I don’t think we can be friends
35. Don’t respond to a text message right away
On the one hand, breaking up via text is pretty crappy. On the other hand, it’s a bit of a blessing in disguise. Texting gives you time to carefully plan your response. Use that to your advantage.
36. Don’t vent on social media. Stay off of it
If you can’t stand not posting on social media, make it positive. Post pictures of you hanging out with friends. Let the world know that you’re living your best life.
37. I don’t like the way that you did this, but I understand it’s what you want and I won’t beg you to stay. Goodbye.
38. I’ve felt for a long time that we were drifting apart, so I agree that this is for the best.
Mutual breakups are always the best. If it’s not genuinely mutual, and you don’t feel comfortable expressing your feelings, you can use this as a quick response. If you do, make sure that you address your true feelings instead of bottling them up.
39. I did not see a single sign that this was coming, so I’m in a bit of shock. I don’t know what to say other than goodbye
40. I hope you have a great life
41. I’m sorry that we couldn’t find happiness together
42. I’m really glad that we had this talk and decided that it’s best we’re not together
43. I’m sorry for both what I said and how I acted, but I understand that you don’t want to be together
44. I’m not thrilled with this, but I know that I have to accept it and move on
45. Thank you for being honest with me about how you feel
46. Were the things you said when we were together true? Did you love me?
47. You fart in your sleep
He’ll never forget that you responded like that.
48. Your breath smells
49. I think that letting you go is going to be hard, but I’ll get through it. Goodbye
50. I want you to be happy, even if that’s not with me
51. Is there anything I can do to fix this?
Responses like this open up the possibility of making up. If you want to be together, this is a great response.
52. I’m going to miss what we had together, but I’ll respect and accept your decision
53. You’re an amazing person, and I’ll forever be changed from you being in my life
Just because it is time to say goodbye doesn’t mean that they did not have a positive impact on your life.
54. I will always strive to be better because of meeting you. Take care, love
55. I wish you nothing but happiness because you are a wonderful person, and you deserve it
56. You did not deserve the things that I put you through when we were together. For that, I’m very sorry. I hope that you find the happiness that you deserve
57. I hope that your life turns into everything that you want it to be and that you’re able to find what you’re looking for
58. I’m glad that we had this talk. We both deserve to have our wishes come true, even if it can’t happen while we’re together
59. Good luck in everything that you do, and I wish you the best in both love and life
60. I do love you. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you, but I understand where you’re coming from, too. Good night
61. Take care sweetheart
62. Tell your ex anything you wanted to say in the relationship that you didn’t feel comfortable saying
This might not be respectful. It might be calling them out on things that they did. It will let you get things off your chest, but you might regret it later. You have to make the choice on the right response for you, and for your situation.
63. I think it would be a good idea for both of us to go our separate ways
64. It was never my intention to hurt you
65. When can I come to pick up my things?
Straight to the point. If you don’t want a conversation about feelings or closure, there’s no point in having that conversation.
66. I regret that we couldn’t make this work, but I agree that it’s best that we break up
67. I understand why you want to break up, but I think it was trashy to do it through a text message
68. Tell your ex that you’re sorry for anything you did during the relationship
If you did things that you regret, apologize so you’re not weighed down with guilt and can move on.
69. I’ve grown a lot through this relationship, and am glad that you were my boyfriend. I don’t think I’ll find another boyfriend as special as you, but I’ll respect your decision and move on
70. I missed every sign that you were unhappy in our relationship. I wish we could have communicated more during our relationship, and would love to give that a shot if you would be willing to
71. I’m a bit upset right now, but I’d love it if we could talk in a few days so I can get the closure that I need
72. I’m sorry for how things happened throughout our relationship
73. Our relationship was the best time of my life. I’ll never forget you being my boyfriend. Goodbye
74. I believe that relationships are all a lesson or a blessing, so thank you for whichever one this one was, even if I don’t know it yet.
75. I’ll always have feelings for you, even if you’re not my boyfriend anymore
76. I never wanted our relationship to end, or to be your ex, but I agree that this breakup is best for the both of us
77. Tell your ex that you’ll miss them, and the relationship. Let them know if you think you can be friends after the breakup or not
78. Inform your ex how the break up is making you feel
79. Assure them that you’ll be okay
Even if your ex is the one causing the breakup, they might still be worried about you.
80. I’m unhappy about this, but I know that we’ll both be okay after this breakup
81. If they broke up through text and you want to talk, ask them if you can call them to have a conversation
82. Tell them you were thinking of a break up too
Even if you weren’t, and it was your ex that wanted to break up, it can make you feel a little bit better when you pretend it’s a mutual break up at first if you don’t want to share your feelings with them. When you choose this route, make sure that you have a healthy outlet for your feelings instead of repressing them.
83.Breakups are hard, but I know that I’ll get through this and find my true happiness. Good luck doing the same
84. I thought you were my soulmate. Now you’re just another ex
85. I’ll miss you, our relationship, and everything that we had together
86. I always used to think that relationships come and go, but I never thought this would be one of those relationships. I wanted it to be one of the relationships that last forever. Do you think there is still the possibility of that? Can we be one of those relationships? Or is that gone?
87. What happened?
When the breakup conversation seems to come out of nowhere, it never hurts to ask where things went wrong. It will give you answers to those questions running through the back of your mind, can help you in future relationships, and you won’t be left wondering why the breakup happened in the first place.
88. I’m sorry. I was so determined to prove my point that I was disrespectful
89. How long have you felt like this?
90. Did something change between us and I didn’t realize it?
91. I think that this breakup might be a blessing in disguise, even if I don’t realize it right now
92. I agree that this is not the right time for either of us
93. Instead of you being another ex, I’d like it if we could go back to being best friends
94. Do you still want to hang out?
If you’re not engulfed in anger and hurt, there’s always the option of remaining friends. Mutual breakups can easily turn into best friends.
95. I think that it takes two people to make a relationship happen, and two people to make a break up happen. I’m sorry for my part in that
96. I don’t want to be your ex…
97. Text them a paragraph to let your feelings out. Tell them about the relationship. Text them and tell them about how you feel regarding you now being their ex-girlfriend. Remember to remain respectful
98. Lesson learned
99. I did the best I could in our relationship, but I do think that this breakup was unavoidable
100. I regret giving you the best parts of me
101. I think it’s crappy that I put so much into this relationship just to become your ex
This is a respectful way to state how you feel. There is no name-calling or placing blame. Instead, you’re simply stating your perspective and how you feel.
102. I’m not going to be your crazy ex. Instead, I’m going to move on from this relationship, from this breakup, and I’m going to find someone that deserves me
103. I don’t think this breakup is fair, but, looking back, neither was our relationship. Becoming your ex is truly a blessing
104. I don’t want to talk to you or text you right now. Suddenly becoming your ex has broken my heart, and I don’t want to disrespect you
105. Breakups are never fun, but this one hurt more than most. I don’t want you as an ex, but I’ll move on and respect the fact that you don’t want to be in a relationship with me
106. I’m texting you because I can’t talk without crying, but I need to get this off my chest. Then, say what you need to say
Sometimes sending a text is easier than saying words. Besides, you can always edit a text message before sending it.
107. Respect their decision. Tell them that you do, and don’t try to make them change their mind if they don’t want to
108. Ask them if they have another girlfriend or any other questions that you want answers to
109. Use the conversation to gain clarity on the situation that led to the breakup. Maybe you can improve in some areas too
110. Point out all the great times, and ask them for another chance at a spot in their heart
111. Try to communicate. This is one of the main reasons that couples call it quits, it might save your relationship
It can be helpful to look up effective methods of communication before having a discussion with your partner. Postpone the conversation, and then try to have a mature one regarding your relationship.
112. Use this as an opportunity for growth and self-love. Appreciate the breakup
113. I hope that I find the right person for me and that you do too
114. Point out all the things that you have gone through together. Then, tell them that you can make it through this too
115. Understand that this is a loss for them too. Suddenly not having you as a girlfriend can also hurt them
116. Don’t try to point out their flaws
117. Don’t tell them about another man you’re talking to
118. Don’t use this as an opportunity to hurt them or place blame
119. Tell them that all couples fight and that you’d love for him to still be your man at the end of the day
Today, we live in a society that feeds off instant gratification. It can be too easy for some people to call it quits before giving a relationship a decent try. Let them know that giving up isn’t their only option.
120. Ask him for the opportunity to apologize and make things right
121. Point out that it’s only been rough lately. Ask them if they would like to work on things together instead of you both going through a breakup
122. Please don’t call me or text me for a while. I just need time to process this breakup
123. I’d love it if we can still text each other and be friends
124. I hope that you have fun doing whatever you’re doing, and genuinely live life to the fullest
125. This breakup really opened my eyes. I am a constant work in progress and thank you for helping me to continue to grow as a person
126. Did you go back to your ex?
One word responses aren’t necessarily respectful or disrespectful. They give the impression that you do not care. One word answers can also show that you do not have anything else to say. This is not the way to go if you want to be friends or have a conversation about the breakup.
130. Got it champ
132. If that’s what you want to do
134. Peace out
135. See you later then
136. Now that you’re my ex, you can’t listen to my cool songs anymore. You have to go back to being lame
137. That’s understandable
138. I respect your feelings
139. I get the picture and wish you the best
140. If you’re going to be my ex, you should know that you’ll need therapy
141. I still miss you
142. I won’t be able to sleep without you, but I’ll try my best
143. Will you still fix my car?
144. That sucks
145. I’m sorry you don’t realize how amazing I am
146. I hope that your next girlfriend treats you exactly how you’ve treated me
147. I don’t want to be disrespectful but screw you
148. Don’t say that you need a break from talking if you don’t plan on talking to your ex again. Instead, tell them you don’t want to speak to them again
149. I wish things could have turned out better
150. Simply say goodbye and move on with your life
151. I hope your next relationship works out for you
152. Try to avoid saying things like don’t ever text me again. You might want to talk to them after you cool off
153. I understand
154. I don’t like the way you’re handling this, but I’ll respect what you want
If the other person is being disrespectful, it can be hard to bite your tongue. Do not let their actions change your character.
155. I’d prefer it if we can work things out if that’s okay with you
156. I don’t understand where you’re coming from. Can we talk about this?
157. Could you explain why you don’t want to be together anymore?
158. Will you elaborate on why you think this is best for us?
159.We need to discuss returning each other’s things
This is an inevitable part of every breakup. There is nothing wrong with discussing it or mentioning it as soon as you break up.
160. I don’t feel the same way, and I don’t agree with this. I won’t message you again though
162. You’re entitled to your feelings, and I will respect what you want. However, I also need for you to respect that I need some space right now
An ideal response when you need time to process that the relationship ended.
163. Would you please explain what led up to this?
164. Have you thought this through, or is this because we got into a fight earlier?
If you feel that they are breaking up with you in the heat of the moment, it’s important to make sure that this is going to happen. Sometimes, people say things they don’t mean.
165. I don’t mean to be offensive, but I have a strict rule that I don’t associate with an ex. Goodbye
166. Like my ex, you have to unlearn anything cool you picked up from me
167. Can I keep the hoody?
168. I’ll never forget your mesmerizing eyes or the way that you smile. I hope you keep smiling for years to come
When you truly love someone, you still want them to be happy. Expressing that shows maturity and respect.
169. So, we’re not getting married?
170. Thanks for the honesty. I’m going to block you and move on now. I don’t want to be friends
171. How did it come to this?
172. I’ll never forget the good times
173. You were amazing, and I was amazing, but I can’t help but agree that we are not amazing together
174. Someday, I hope that we come back together when the time is right for both of us
175. I’ll always be sorry that it didn’t work out between us, but I’ll always be respectful enough to accept your decision
What is the best thing to do when someone breaks up with you?
Be respectful to your new ex. Don’t text them or call them if you’re feeling too emotional. Instead, give yourself some time. Then, talk to your ex when you’re ready to discuss things. This can help you get the closure that you need without hurting each other’s feelings.
How do I help a friend through a breakup?
Don’t let them call their ex or beg for forgiveness. Remind them of the bad things about their ex so that they don’t go back. Have a sleepover and bring plenty of ice cream! Be supportive. Listen to their crying, ranting, and raving. More than anything, remind them how awesome they are!
How do you respectfully break up with someone?
Tell your soon to be ex that you don’t think it is working out. Emphasize the great things about them that you’ll always remember. Never admit to having feelings for someone else. Don’t lead them to believe it’s a break if it’s a genuine breakup. Instead, be honest without being hurtful.
Who hurts more after a breakup?
Breakups tend to catch the new ex off guard at times, but that doesn’t mean they hurt more. Typically, women hurt more on a short term basis. Men, however, hurt longer term. They never seem to forget a breakup whereas women are better able to move on with their lives post-relationship.
How do you know if it's time to end a relationship?
Imagine breaking up right now. Does your smile get wider? Do you feel like a weight is being lifted off your shoulders? If you do, and you asked this question, it’s time to evaluate your relationship. When it’s meant to be, you don’t question it.
When you just got that breakup text, it can be hard not to lash out at your ex. Resist the urge, and remain respectful. Get closure if you need to. Ask questions that you want answers to. Or, simply walk away. How do you respond to a breakup?
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...