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What He Thinks When You Don’t Text Him Back: 16 Possible Thoughts

January 13, 2023

It can be hard to know what a guy truly thinks. Trying to figure out what he thinks when you don’t text him back is one of the most challenging things about being a woman. As a woman, it is pretty easy to attempt all types of things when the guy you are interested in isn’t giving you the interest or attention you believe you deserve.

Rather than texting him back just a few minutes after receiving his message, you might leave him hanging for a while when you get a text from them. However, how exactly does this affect him? What feelings and thoughts does he have when he doesn’t get a text from you?

If you have ever wondered what he thinks when you don’t reply to his text, you can find all the scenarios in this article.

Sixteen Things he Might think When You Don't Text Him Back

You should note that every guy is different. They all come with their own quirks and personalities. This means the way one guy might respond when you don't text him back will be different from how another responds in the same situation.

How he responds will also depend on how close or intimate your relationship with him is. It can also be affected by how he feels about you. He might suspect that you are losing interest, preoccupied, or bored talking to him in certain instances. 

This can be emotionally upsetting to him, even if most guys would never admit it. It can also bruise his ego and could have a significant impact on his levels of anxiety if you stop texting or replying.

Now that we have a complete guide on what he could think when you don’t reply to his text, it is time to go into detail on each of these assumptions. Let’s begin!

1. He might choose to send you a follow up text 

Sometimes when you don't reply to his text, he might send another text to gauge your reaction. The following is a breakdown of what he thinks when you don’t contact him:

After going through all the reasons you don’t reply to his text right away, he could choose to respond one of two ways: 

  1. She’ll reply eventually, he tells himself, and keeps hoping
  2. He could bite the bullet and reach out to you, hoping to rekindle the conversation

Most guys tend to take the second option. They double-text to ask how you are. Also, they could share a funny image or video in the hopes that it helps create a conversation. However, there will be a problem if you don't text him back immediately to show interest. 

2. He might choose to give you space

he might choose to give you space

On the other hand, he could decide that you are simply not interested and could give up on chasing you so as not to appear desperate. Guys take appearances seriously, particularly when it has to do with their egos. And while they might desire something serious with you, if you are playing hard to get, some guys might not want to risk coming off as desperate.

Some guys understand that love requires a lot of patience, so they might choose not to send another text to you and wait for your message. Eventually, he might choose to reach out after some time when you don’t reply to his text; however, this is usually a "let the record show I tried" type of gesture.

3. He might think you are bored with him

When you decide you are not texting a guy back, one of his first assumptions is that you are bored with him. This is especially true if he is feeling insecure due to previous experiences. 

He could have noticed certain behavioral changes in his interaction with you. Maybe you aren't excited as you used to be or send mixed messages via your texts.

The fact that you aren’t responding to his texts confirms his suspicion that you are bored with him. Due to this, his brain will try to create ways to get you to become interested in him again. He could do this by acting differently and initiating new and interesting conversations.

He could also decide that he needs to do better, and improve his texting style if he wants to prize you away from the other guy by making you happy.

4. He assumes you are ignoring him

Instead of arguing or fighting, certain people prefer to show their dissatisfaction, annoyance, or displeasure at a situation through quiet time. In this scenario, he questions what he could have done or said that got on your nerves, and because of that, you are not texting him back.

Conversely, he might think you have decided to ghost him, and not responding is a clear sign you are not interested anymore. 

Regardless of whether his assumptions are true or false, if a guy you are dating believes you are ignoring him, he will likely do whatever he has to do to regain your lost interest.

While he might not ask for a face-to-face, he will do all he can to ensure you feel his presence and that he still cares about you. This behavior could be because he is starting to feel hopeless about you not responding. 

While this might seem mean, this texting game can spur the sort of worry and desperation that makes a guy want to chase you.

5. He might think you are busy

If the guy you are interested in or dating views you as a high-quality woman that leads a full life, he probably thinks you’re busy. This is perhaps the healthiest assumption on this list and can also be viewed as a great sign.

This is because it shows that he isn’t a guy that is always desperate or insecure. In reality, however, this isn't always the case. 

Guys tend to project their worst fears, mindsets, and thoughts on this scenario. If he has low self-esteem, he might project it on you due to his lacking self-respect in the first place.

So if he thinks you’re busy, he will probably wait for your reply. The longer he waits, however, the more he tries desperately to fight his worst fears.

6. He assumes you are no longer interested

he assumes you are no longer interested

Most people fail to respond to text messages because of a lack of interest. When you think about it, you cannot make someone like you, so you simply let it go. 

When a guy loses interest, one of the first things he does is stop responding to your messages on time. He might even stop responding altogether. It is the most natural response, even after a few dates.

Not texting him back can be a great way to get him to chase you again. If he begins to think you aren't interested in him, he will more likely try to make you fall for him. He could do this by trying to re-establish communication with you, which could be a way to show that he is worthy of your time, not out to play games.

This will further reinforce your value as the prize, especially if you just started going out. Not texting a guy back will increase his desire for you and his chances of wanting to date you in the long term. 

Think of this as playing hard to get. From personal experience, it is all about being able to pull at his heartstrings to trigger the right emotion.

7. He assumes his texting is boring

Men are not wired to overthink the way women do. However, some of them sometimes cannot help it, especially when it involves someone they care about. As a result, he might assume he sent a boring text and conclude he needs to step up his game.

When he starts doubting his texting prowess, you may become more desirable to him. On the flip side, he might see you as hard to please, so he's got to step up his game to please you.

While this might seem pleasant to you, many guys are not interested in ladies playing hard to get, so it might backfire.

8. He wishes to unsend the last message

Assume he sent you a naughty, sweet, or suggestive text; he becomes frustrated waiting endlessly for your reply. This might prompt him to send another text in this manner:

  • "Whoa, pardon me, that was a mistake."
  • "Ignore the text; that was the bottle of alcohol talking."
  • "Sorry, my phone was hacked."

He goes further to dissociate himself from the first message – the one you ignored, assuming you were offended by it.

9. He assumes he had stepped out of line

If he's the type that overthinks things, he might assume he's messed up with the text. With the hope that he wants something serious with you, he's desperately trying not to ruin his chances.

So, if you don't reply after a while, he might send you another text in the following form:

  • It wasn't my intention to offend you
  • Forgive me for saying that
  • I never meant to be insulting

He almost appears like he's groveling, and you could read the panic in his text, worried sick he messed up. At this point, giving him a reply is important so he calms down.

10. He assumes you are moody with him

Often, lots of guys get in trouble with ladies too much for them to even realize they might be the victim of a purely bad mood. As a result, he might interpret your silence as punishment or sulking.

He would definitely assume the worst if the message came after a disagreement or argument. As a result, he believes he's getting the silent treatment since you are mad at him for something he did or didn't do in the relationship.

11. He assumes you are playing a game

he assumes you are playing a game

Guys are not the only guilty party when it comes to playing games. Ladies are also capable of sending mixed signals too.

Some ladies might attempt some tricks, including ignoring his text to see the guy's reaction. If you just met or just started a relationship, this might particularly be the case.

12. He assumes you didn't get the message

In his bid to deny the obvious – that you are ignoring him, he concludes you didn't get the message. He concludes that his cell service is misbehaving or that technology just acted out when he sent his text.

This is his way of making himself feel better rather than feeling worried thinking he did something to warrant your silence. He might even assume your phone is broken, so chances are you didn't get the message.

13. The relationship becomes one-sided for him

When he doesn't get your reply, he will likely think he has to do all the work in the relationship. Chances are he might not mind this at first, especially at the early stage of the relationship. 

He considers it part of the chase when he has to make plans or struggle to get your reply. Over time if this continues, he will likely lose interest in the relationship unless he genuinely likes you.

14. He gets worried about your wellbeing

After not hearing from you for a while, worry and panic set in. As a result, he will wonder if he should call or not, and there's a huge chance he will since he's worried about your wellbeing and safety.

At times, he might call to make sure there is nothing wrong with you. Also, if he thinks you are upset with him, he will likely call and apologize since upsetting you is the last thing on his mind.

Chances are, if both of you are on good terms before you ignore his message, he will be more anxious about your status. As a result, knowing why you didn't reply and your well-being status will be his priority.

15. He thinks you met someone better

With the advent of social media and casual dating apps, meeting someone on a dating app is now easier than ever. As a result, having a casual date and meeting people of various personalities is pretty easy.

A man could assume that a lady he likes might also have other love suitors. With his imaginations running wild, he thinks you might be seeing other people.

It doesn’t matter if you are in the early stages of your relationship, it's much too easy to meet another person who you connect with, they assume. As a result, he starts assuming the worst – that another guy who has grabbed your attention is already in the picture.

16. He concludes he doesn't care

No one likes being ignored; most people feel like crap and assume the worst if ignored. Like women, some men also like reassurance that they are wanted and that you are interested in the relationship.

When he starts texting and you ignore, he could be worried for some time, confused about what happened. On the other hand, some guys might shake it off and move on. He might get so turned off that he will start ignoring you.

He tells himself even if you are busy, it is wrong not to acknowledge or respond to his text. It’s possible your silence got him so worked up that he concluded it was not worth the effort and decided to move on.

Should You Text Him Back or Ignore Him?

should you text back or ignore him

Should I text him back or ignore him? This is a question that women have faced at one time or another in their lives and relationship. 

Surely when he ignored you, you felt bad, even felt devastated. Nevertheless, you couldn’t help this innate urge to text him. Despite the uncertainty of whether he is going to reply or not, you can't help but want to send that message.

You wonder if you should reply or ignore him. This is a question that's always on your mind. If this sounds like you, wondering what to do in this difficult situation, this section has some answers for you.

5 Things to Consider When Deciding If You Should Text Him or Ignore Him

There are a couple of things to consider when deciding if you should reply or not.

1. Is he a manipulator?

Some guys enjoy intentionally manipulating women to get them to do what they want. This manipulation process can begin with them ignoring you to the point where you begin to feel confused even with the red flag.

When you are facing the dilemma of whether you should stop texting him, do your due diligence to ensure that he isn't manipulating you with his text. If he gives off player vibes or is a manipulator, you are better off leaving his text without a reply.

2. Does he give you much attention too?

Dating should not be about power struggles. It works best when both parties put in equal effort. With this, if he’s not putting the same amount of effort as you, you might want to ignore him.

Forget the mind games, it is more about setting healthy boundaries and expectation of equality. So, you might not necessarily ignore his message but adjust your communication style to match his energy. 

3. It could be because of his personal life

Some people tend to isolate themselves when they are depressed.Before you decide to reply or simply ignore him and move on with your life, you need to find out some things about his personal life.

Figuring out the information can be difficult, especially if you are just getting to know each other. His friends can be genuinely helpful in providing insight into his personality. This, however, only applies if you just started dating. 

4. Has he ignored you in the past?

Has he made a habit of constantly ignoring you in the past? Does he also give you his attention when you request it? This is a question you need to ask yourself. 

When he repeatedly ignores you, that is not a good sign. Texting him after he has repeatedly ignored you negatively affects your self-esteem and how he views you.

5. What is his level of interest?

Before you reply to his text, you need to ascertain his level of interest, especially during your last conversation. Does he really want to talk to you? Is he the dreaded ex, an uninterested date, or a loving partner you have hit a rough patch with?

If you know his level of interest and are sure he is into you, you can text him without hesitation.

6. How was the Past Text Message Interaction?

how the past text message interaction

Judging from past texting experience, do you think he puts thoughtful reply to your texts? When you start texting him, does he provide unique insight into the interactions?

These factors will help you gauge his level of interest and devotion to the relationship. Besides, if he is really into the relationship, you two will have good communication which will always spur your interest.

FAQs

What should I do? He just texted me after having ignored me

Think about what you want to do for a bit before making a decision. Ask yourself if you feel this interaction is worth saving. Also, try to remember how you felt when he was ignoring you.

Nevertheless, if ignoring you isn't something he does too often, then there is no reason why you shouldn't reply to him. At the very least, find out why he ignored you.

Is not texting him back going to make him want me more?

Not replying his text isn't always going to make him want you more. Eventually, he will notice that you simply do not reciprocate his contact and cease communication with you.

At the start, not replying to his text might make him curious and want you more. However, if you do it too frequently, even when you are not busy, it can become tiring.

Nobody wants uncertainty, and he might get fed up waiting for you to reply to his text. You should always remember that interacting is the only way to form and strengthen bonds.

Is he going to double-text if I ignore his first text?

It depends on the context. If ignoring his texts isn’t something you do too often, then chances are he will text again. That being said, if you are playing the "I'm not going to text him until he texts me" game, you should know that you are playing a high-stakes, high-rewards game.

This isn't always the healthiest way to start an interaction. You should always try to be authentic, replying when you feel like it. This is especially true if you want a genuine connection.

Should I text him back or ignore him?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with texting him back when you can. Nevertheless, you have to ensure that you both want something real and that it isn't a game you are playing.

Conclusion

Choosing not to reply to his text can be a difficult decision. It shouldn't be something you take lightly as it could negatively affect him, especially if you do it too much. Going a bit overboard with the silent treatment can be akin to toxic behavior, which you don't want to do.

For the most part, ignoring his text isn't something you should do unless his behavior warrants it. If you think he has come across as a bit obsessive or desperate, you can always cut down the frequency of communication. 

In short, you can ignore his text if it negatively affects your wellbeing and safety. Playing the texting game is a fine art, and going too deep too quickly could result in his self-esteem and self-perception taking a hit.

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