I have a friend that is always dating. If she is not in a current relationship she will meet up with new people. It doesn't matter to her if you are young, old, attractive, local, or distant. She’ll give you a chance. She is the epitome of open-minded dating.
Then there are other friends of mine that won’t date someone if they aren't a certain height or body type. Other friends rely on their star sign to find their perfect match. And a few people I know won’t date beyond a certain age range. They are consumed with finding the ‘right person’.
It is true to say that my friend has experienced some real doozies. However, she has also had a lot of relationship success. She has considerably opened her dating pool by being open-minded. She doesn’t think it is wrong to meet lots of different people. After all, they are all potential marriage partners.
My friend is also open-minded when she is in a relationship. She’s the type of person that is easily bored and likes to have fun. Having an open-minded relationship suits her. Now, this doesn't mean that she and her potential partners are swingers or engage in sex parties with other couples at the weekend. It simply means that as a couple they are not exclusive.
They are both free to see other people and they understand that they have to be flexible with arrangements. This is a more casual style of dating if you like. there’s no pressure, little commitment, and much more freedom.
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There is one thing, this open-mind style of dating doesn't suit everyone. If you get jealous easily or like the stability of monogamous relationships, this probably won’t be up your street.
However, if you like the idea of friends with benefits, casual hookups with no strings, and polyamorous relationships, then there is nothing wrong with open-minded dating.
I spoke to my friend and asked her how she goes about dating with an open mind. I want to share her dating tips with you.
So remember, there are two sides to open-minded dating; the first is being receptive to dating outside your normal type. The second is being open-minded within a new relationship.
You’ll never know if that friend of a friend of that person you work with is a good match unless you say yes. Saying yes takes practice but it immediately makes you more open-minded. You are opening yourself to awesome new possibilities, new people, and different fun encounters. As you start saying yes your world opens up exponentially.
Being flexible doesn't just mean you are happy to change the date or venue, it’s a psychological thing too. For example, you may be attracted to a certain type, that type might be tall dark, and handsome. You are asked out by a short, blond, average-looking guy. Your immediate reaction is to think that you won’t like him, but how will you find love if you don’t give him a chance?
If you go on every date thinking ‘this could be the one’ you are going to be disappointed every time. Instead, a great place to start is to find a common interest. Keep your expectations low and you never know, you might be attracted to them.
Say you prefer texting but a new date likes to video-chat; for some people, this can be off-putting. But open-minded dating is all about making non-judgemental connections. This new way of communicating may seem uncomfortable at first, but try it and take yourself out of your comfort zone. For example, send messages to all your online dating contacts, not just the ones with similar interests.
We all approach relationships with our own set of biases. However, many of these are subconscious. So we end up saying no to people without really understanding why. For example, perhaps a potential date is extremely well-spoken and this makes you feel uncomfortable. You think they must be very intelligent and they won’t be interested in you. Instead of immediately saying no and going on your first impression, give yourself time and you’ll find success.
Open-minded dating is not a secret free-for-all dating frenzy where you coast from date to date in a guilty sexual haze. It is about being truthful, returning calls, answering texts, and treating people with respect. It is also about respecting people’s religion, political views, boundaries, their quirks, and character traits.
It is easy to put our own thoughts and feelings into a new person when we are seeking love. What I mean by this, is that there is this new person and we know nothing about them. However, we fill in the blanks with our wishful thinking. We create what we want this person to be in our life, without truly knowing them. That is wrong and a sign we are not listening to them.
I had an ex that hated my dog. In the end, I left my ex because he said the dog had to go. For a long time after that, I paid particular attention to how dates were with my dog. The slightest negative comment put me off them. I had to realize I was bringing the baggage from my old relationship into any future ones, and that’s not fair for potential dates.
Humans have a tendency to gravitate to what is safe and familiar. This is an evolutionary mechanism that helps us survive. However, in the 21st century, it is not so necessary. Whilst it is reassuring to feel safe, we don't experience anything by shutting ourselves away from the world. Why not be a little more curious? Don’t sit at home alone, join dating sites and try online dating.
We make snap decisions every day, that’s evolution again, it helps keep us safe. But stereotyping is a self-limiting snap decision. Instead of immediately categorizing someone for their looks, lifestyle, clothes, color, or accent, step back and listen to them. Give them a chance and get to know them. Don't over-simplify people to make your life easier. Humans are complex creatures and deserve to be treated as such.
People don't take long to make judgments. Whether it is what someone is wearing, their smell, how they eat, or whether they want to split the bill on the first date. The problem is if we don't give people a chance and the time to get to know them, all we see is the surface. How would you like to be judged in an hour on a first date? You’ll probably be nervous, as your date is. So give people time to talk.
Open-minded dating is having the confidence to explore new things. This can be going to new venues, meeting people that you wouldn't normally, or simply lowering your expectations. Open-minded daters are non-judgmental. They treat every date as a fun opportunity to experience something new and exciting. Dates don't have to lead to long-term relationships, but by saying yes to more things you open your horizons and allow the possibility of romance.
Having an open mind in dating doesn't mean you have to go along with something you don't want to. For example, in the past, open-minded dating was synonymous with lots of sexual partners and swingers. Nowadays it just means ditching your checklist or the type of person you usually go for. Open-minded people are receptive to new things. This can be dating outside of their age range or earnings.
Imagine there’s something you’ve always wanted to do or try but your partner won’t entertain the idea. That’s frustrating, right? Wouldn’t you feel more appreciated and valued if your partner put themselves out for you? It’s the same with keeping an open mind in dating. Don't judge, be acceptive of new ideas but respect your boundaries. Open-minded dating doesn't mean doing something you are uncomfortable with.
Open-mindedness leads to trust and acceptance. Having an open mind allows your partner to communicate their wishes truthfully without judgment. This leads to a deeper connection in relationships. Being able to tell the truth provides a level of understanding not many couples achieve. You also leave yourself open to new ideas, and new experiences and create long-lasting memories.
We are only here once, so being open-minded allows you to experience new things, make connections with unlikely people and live your life to the fullest. Open-mindedness is knowledge and with knowledge comes understanding, compassion, and empathy. When we don't judge a situation or person we learn more. It is this learning and continually moving forward that makes us human.
Open-minded dating literally opens up your horizons. It introduces you to new experiences and people. By having an open mind you’ll be surprised how much of a positive impact this has on your dating life.