Based on how sexually-satisfying it can be, it is no surprise how popular friends with benefits relationships are in modern dating. The arrangement feels like such a find when you start. You have the most convenient thing with someone you find attractive without paying the usual cost.
Free, regular sex with no strings attached can sure make you wonder why people even bother committing in the first place. You think you’ve cracked something, especially when you’ve been in a regular relationship where you gave so much and got so little in return.
You forge right on prepared to catch multiple orgasms, explore all things sexual with your FWB with no one expecting anything more. Until… one person starts falling for the other and the complications whose absence made you feel invincible begin to pop up from nowhere.
Since this is often the case for most FWB relationships, it might be best to learn how to tell when an FWB is catching feelings instead of hoping yours doesn’t. The following are some 19 ways to tell your ‘friend’ is starting to like you more.
One of the earliest signs of a friend with benefits starting to lose focus is that they want to have more conversations with you. And they will take every opportunity that shows up to get it. If you’ve noticed that the number of times your FWB’s name pops up on your phone has gone from once a week to virtually every day, that’s a dead giveaway.
This is especially so if there’s no tangible reason for the increase in communication. What used to automatically translate to a booty call may now be more of them asking about your day, which is highly unusual for an FWB arrangement.
Sure, your situation means kissing may not be new between you two. However, when one person starts catching feelings, the approach differs. The act of kissing itself can be an emotional bonding process, or as you probably know, the switch that turns you on.
The differentiating factor will always remain the way you do it. So if you notice your FWB is starting to take longer than usual to explore your lips, or that he’s more passionate about kissing you (like he gets some sort of fulfillment from it) rather than it just being a prelude to sex, his feelings have changed.
This rise in intimacy doesn’t just stop at the kissing; it also extends to the main course. Now, you probably have great sexual chemistry between you on a norm, but it begins to feel more emotional than physical when feelings start to creep in. Though the difference isn’t usually glaring, you can see it if you pay attention to what goes on when you’re sleeping together.
You may find your FWB becoming gentler and more patient with you. He might make eye contact more often, be more concerned about your pleasure – perhaps even put it before his own. He may even hang around for cuddles when the show is over.
Friends with benefits act like every other person when they first start liking someone. You know how you get the jitters and try to put on your best self around your crush? Yeah, it’s like that when an FWB catches feelings too.
They are more nervous and anxious around you than usual. They are equally more conscious of what you think of their orgasm-face and whether their little beer belly turns you off. Even the sex can feel calculated like they’re trying not to make any mistake and let you down. For the most part, no one goes into that kind of relationship hoping to fall in love with someone, but it happens.
Have your conversations gradually progressed from the next crazy thing you want to try sexually to early experiences that made you what you are now? They may not totally deviate from sex at; the first sleepover, it may be something like why you think you get off the way you do. Then it moves on to topics more common with intimate friends or people in a relationship.
Before you know, you’re discussing childhood traumas and the reason your last relationship went down the drain like it’s nothing. People in a casual relationship usually do not go that deep in conversation with each other, so if your FWB keeps initiating them, they might be looking to be more.
One of the reasons FWB relationships are so blissful at the beginning is that you’re literally not expected to care for much more than the sex. No burden of remembering birthdays or your partner’s toughest days of the month. A dream come true for many.
However, people in love tend to develop more interest in the subject of their affection. You notice little shifts in their mood and details in their appearance. You listen more carefully when they talk because you want to catch everything.
If he does these and more despite his immediate pleasure not being tied to them, there’s a high chance he wants to be more than friends.
Body language is such a reliable tool when you’re looking for signs of feelings. The eyes, particularly, can tell you a lot more than the mouth may be willing to disclose. Have you met their gaze a couple of times and thought, “what’s that all about?” That’s because making eye contact is one of those things we can’t help when we have feelings for someone.
You may notice this loving stare during sex and also outside of it. Besides the “I’m into you” look, you may also find them trying to close the physical gap between you whenever you’re together, and their demeanor will be more open towards you. Once these creep up, it's evident someone wants to be more than friends.
You haven’t discussed having your arrangement solely with each other or anything, and you know they sleep with other girls. Again, it’s not a problem as long as they practice safe sex. Then out of the blue, it somehow comes up that they’re letting the other booty calls go, and it’s just you now.
While there’s a chance the decision has nothing to do with you, it may also very well be that you’re the only one who does it for him now. A lot of the time, it’s their emotions leading them, not just your sexual prowess. It's even a clearer indication if he’s upset that you’re still sleeping with someone else.
Friends hang out with each other all the time, often for no special reason. However, once the benefits aspect is introduced, you end up doing it almost every chance you get that it naturally becomes the reason you meet. It may not be the case for all FWBs, but for many, the platonic friendship suffers as the sexual relationship progresses. (That or someone catches feelings, and the whole thing gets messy.)
You don’t always have to be down to hook up, but if they usually ask to hang out without it leading to sex, they’re either into you or really lonely.
You can also know where your FWB’s heart is by looking at the frequency of your rendezvous. Are they suddenly more interested in spending more time with you? If it has something to do with a surge in their libido or an opportunity arises for them to have more sex than usual, I wouldn’t think much of it.
However, feel free to read into it if they’re most interested in your company when you do meet. Also, if they go out of their way to make the hangout happen, someone is starting to get attached.
A regular friend with benefits shouldn’t have issues with you making small talk about a date you have the following evening. Neither should they react jealously to you flirting with other people if it doesn’t affect your arrangement. But if things like this soil his mood with no other explanation for it than jealousy, even if only for a minute, he may want more.
If this is true, you may also find him acting more protective of you when other guys show interest.
Anyone in an FWB situation knows that getting attached goes against the essence of the arrangement, so they may not be able to come out proudly and announce how they feel. However, there are other ways to communicate “I’m down for this if you are” without coming right out to say it.
Have a lot of your discussions had to do with relationships lately? If it’s not that they just came out of one or are still on emotional mend from their last breakup, they might be doing that to figure out where you stand on it.
When you fall in love with someone, you want to put your best foot forward with them. You play to your strength and hope that it’s enough to sway them. Now you probably wouldn’t be friends with benefit with this person in the first place if they didn’t know their onions in that department.
But if they’ve gone from good to great or become more open to trying new things lately, I wouldn’t rule the feels out as a possible reason.
Unlike a guy who just wants to get laid, a male FWB that wants more wants you to see him as more than a sex object. He may try to show you other things he’s good at besides breaking your back once a week. Maybe by talking about something he excels at or carrying you along on his successes.
It’s also a sign if he spruces his appearance or apartment up or starts to get his life together to become more of a man you deserve.
When they are up there among your frequently contacted contacts because that’s how often they call or text, it’s a slippery slope from there to feelingsville. It’s difficult not to get attached when in addition to having great sex, you also talk to each other that often.
Gradually, confiding in them doesn’t feel like such a wrong thing to do anymore. You discuss each other’s jobs, hang out without hooking up, people who know you think you’re a couple, etc. They wouldn’t let all this happen without withdrawing or complaining if they didn’t want more.
Between the way, he shows up and the location of your rendezvous, it’s starting to feel like you’re going on dates instead of dick appointments. He now cancels plans and includes you in his schedule so you can get more time together and be more comfortable.
When, on top of the above, your FWB starts trying harder than usual to hang out with you, and you both lowkey know it’s not even about the sex. That’s how you know he’s totally caught feelings.
Sure, FWBs are still friends, so it’s not entirely out of place to get one another a gift. Still, the line between doing it just because and buying gifts because they are all you can think of and gifting is your love language is pretty thin.
Fwbs tend to steer clear of potentially complicated things like that altogether, so nobody gets the wrong idea. Now, if your own partner is gravitating towards that, and the presents also show that they remember every detailed conversation you’ve ever had, they’re totes in love.
Does he try to hold your hand, put his arm around your waist, or kiss you during evening strolls like actual couples do? Unless he’s like that with every woman, he shouldn’t feel comfortable doing that if he didn’t want the world to get the wrong idea.
It’s also possible that he does PDA with you for clout, but if he isn’t that kind of person, then you might as well rename what you have.
Or maybe your FWB doesn’t just act like your significant other when you’re out; perhaps it’s the same indoors too. You sleepover at each other’s, make love and cuddle, argue and makeup like lovers do.
You talk about anything and everything and get antsy when people ask you what you are to each other. You go on dates, even though you refuse to call them that, and hang out more often with less sex. All things considered, if this is the relationship you have with your friend with benefits, you messed up together because you both caught feelings.
How to tell when an FWB is catching feelings? They become interested in more than sex. They initiate more in-depth and personal conversations. They want to hang out more and often without trying to hook up. They may also try harder to impress you so you can see them as more than a good lay. Although some people become distant when they start getting attached so it can be quite confusing.
Yes, guys can catch feelings in an FWB relationship if they manage to make an emotional connection with their partner. Although, when the emotions start flowing, things can get a bit messy for those who start as friends then incorporate the benefits part later.
If you realize you have real feelings for an FWB, the most straightforward – albeit a little awkward route – is to let them know. If they feel the same way, lucky you, and if not, decide which is more important to you between what you currently have and your emotions and act accordingly.
A guy fighting his feelings may confuse you often with his hot and cold vibes. He loves you from a distance; he may go away for days, come around for a bit, then become distant again. He may be reluctant to look away when your eyes meet, and despite feeling this undeniable connection you two have, he still wouldn’t say anything.
Though the longstanding stereotype is that women get emotionally attached first in romantic arrangements, a study found men get attached more easily. How fast it happens depends on factors like whether he’s ready, how emotionally vulnerable he is, if the other person checks enough of his boxes, etc.
Like all good things, friends with benefits relationships end, usually with one person catching feelings the other did not throw. Whether you’re starting to suspect your FWB or it’s you who’s becoming emotionally attached, I hope the above points help. Kindly leave a comment and share the article if you enjoyed it. Thanks.