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How To Stop Pushing People Away (13 Efficient Ways)

by Sonya Schwartz

Some people can often be in the habit of forcing others from you as soon as they get close to them. As soon as someone new enters their life and starts to get to know more about them, they shut down and start pushing this person from you. This may even happen to those that are already in their close circle of friends and family

It is often a defense mechanism to push your loved ones from you or to push those closest to you away. You may not understand why you do it and you may not even be aware that it is something that you do. However, it can cause a lot of pain and heartache for those loved ones that you push out of your life, and it is important to learn how to stop doing it. 

It is important to first gain an understanding as to why you do push people in your life away. For you to be able to learn how to stop acting in this way, you need to have an understanding of why you do it in the first place. Without an understanding of the reasons causing you to do this it will be very difficult for you to find a way to stop it, so keep reading to find out. 

How To Avoid Pushing Loved Ones Away

Many individuals find themselves pushing people away from them. It often happens when a person needs those the most. They need outside help but they push their loved ones away. It is often the case that when someone needs help and support, they seek to distance themselves away from everyone in their life. 

There is one explanation that may explain this, being that many often subconsciously want to appear strong and able to be independent. Often individuals don’t want to accept outside help but want to be able to solve whatever issue that they are currently facing alone. This feeling is often made even stronger by the vulnerability that comes with it. 

When someone feels vulnerable at the same time as wanting to appear independent, they can become likely to start distancing themselves from anybody in their life that may be likely to offer help. They create this space between them because they want to outwardly show their capability and independence. But how do you avoid pushing people away?

1. Look around you

One of the first things that you should do if you feel as if you are alone and vulnerable is to look around at those in your life and consider whether they have offered to help you out. Think about the last time someone offered to help you out and think about who it was. Consider why you didn’t accept their offer of help. 

It is important to accept the help and support of those around you even if you may at times struggle to do so because you want to appear strong and independent. It is important to remember that being vulnerable too is a form of strength and it does not make you appear weak to accept the support of someone else even though it may appear this way. 

2. Connect to your loved ones

Connect to your loved ones

By accepting the help of those around you, you are also strengthening the connection that you share with them. It is a strong act to be vulnerable around others and to allow them into your life and to help and support you with your struggles. Accepting the help of those around you helps your connection to grow in strength and depth. 

Even if accepting the support of your loved ones may seem difficult at first, it is important to push yourself to accept it. This is the first step in preventing yourself from distancing your life from those around you. It shows that you have the strength and confidence to act even when something might feel foreign and difficult at first glance. 

3. Take time 

It may help to take some time and space to yourself to allow yourself to reflect on your emotions and feelings that may be holding you back and causing you to create distance from those that you love. Taking some personal time is a healthy way for you to identify the issues that currently exist and also help you to form stronger relationships and connections in the long run. 

If you feel like you do need some time to yourself, acknowledge this and act on this feeling. Take the time to listen to your thoughts without distraction so that you will later feel more capable to fully interact and engage with your loved ones. You will feel refreshed and more positive about what lies ahead for you. 

4. Connect to your inner thoughts

In order for you to make any changes in your life, it is important to connect with your inner thoughts and your inner self. By doing this deep reflection you will be able to properly assess your emotions and feelings regarding all of your current relationships. You will be better able to deal with anything that comes your way after taking this time to delve deeper into yourself. 

5. Reset your relationships

By taking time away you will also ensure that the relationships that you do share with those around you will be healthier too. If you are stressed, it is likely that your loved one will notice this and it may subconsciously put a strain on your relationship with this person. By taking some time apart, you will come back renewed and reset your relationship to be more positive. 

6. Consider your behavior

If you find yourself distancing others away from you and you no longer want to do so, it is important to first consider your behavior which you may be subconsciously acting on. You may be jealous of other people or you may be prone to comparing yourself to other people. Make sure that you are aware of your own behavior so that you can begin to change it. 

If you find yourself constantly competing or comparing yourself with others, it is time to acknowledge this behavior and accept that it is time to make a change within yourself. 

7. Call people back

If you don’t want to keep forcing people out of your life it is important to realise that you have to be the person to make a positive change to avoid doing so in the future. Think about the things that you do to push people out of your life and consider how you can change these things for the better, one thing at a time. 

Perhaps you have noticed that you intentionally avoid calling your loved ones or texting them back. You never accept invitations from other people and you always decline the chance to meet up with your friends. While you may not be successful every time, make a positive effort to avoid doing so, call your friends back, text them and accept their invitations.

8. Refrain from always avoiding conflict 

Many people who find themselves distancing themselves from those in their lives tend to avoid conflict so that they just disappear. If you do not have the emotional stability to meet a conflict directly, it is a sign that you are trying to distance yourself and you don’t want to let people into your life. You are unable to effectively communicate your emotions and feelings. 

It may be that you avoid thinking of things that may stress or upset you, you avoid having arguments with your partner even though you are unhappy or you no longer see your parents. You have learned to avoid things that make you feel uneasy because you feel helpless. However, it is important to face issues and conflicts directly rather than burying them. 

9. Avoid being a people-pleaser

Many people who act in this way are people pleasers. You may find yourself doing things that make you uncomfortable just because it is the easiest thing to do and you don’t way to upset anyone. You try to imagine what someone may want and you avoid focusing on your own needs because you are too busy trying to ensure that others are happy instead. 

You may be acting in this way because you are afraid of how they may act if you don’t act exactly like they want you to act. This is a self-preservation and self-protection method. You try to always guess what other people may want so that you ensure their happiness. However, you lose your own sense of happiness by people-pleasing in this way.

10. Face your fears

If you find yourself creating distance in your relationships, it is important to face your fears. You may be scared of a real-life relationship and the conflicts and arguments that come with it. However, it is important to face your fears even if you feel like it will be difficult at first. You are afraid of causing any conflict and would rather act as if everything is okay.

It is important to realise that you are acting in this way so that you can alter your behaviour and find happiness. 

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11. Avoid pretending 

You may find yourself pretending that everything is okay just because you want to avoid any potential conflict or arguments that may come with saying that you are not happy. You may be likely to run or pretend that things are fine and you are happy even when you are not just because you don’t want to face the aftermath or risk causing someone to be angry. 

You may also have unrealistic hopes for your relationships and if you cannot have the perfect relationship, you would rather have no relationship at all. It is important to address these feelings and find a means to overcome them and find happiness with someone. 

12. Be vulnerable

If you find yourself distancing yourself from others in your life, you may be wondering why do I push people away. It is important if you often push others from you, to learn how to be vulnerable. You prefer to keep everything hidden within yourself and you are too scared to show anyone your true feelings or emotions. You never let anyone know about your insecurities or fears. 

However, if you are ever going to have a real authentic relationship with another person, it is important that you find a means to be truly vulnerable and open with them. It will take time to learn how to not push others away, but it will truly be worth it when you learn how to do so. 

13. Be okay with conflict

Be okay with conflict

In any relationship, conflict is going to arise every now and again. No one has ever been in a relationship that didn’t involve conflict so it is important to be at peace with the idea that you are going to experience conflict and ups and downs in your relationships, even though it may be difficult.

FAQs

How do I stop pushing my loved ones away?

Many people push their loved ones away even though they may require help and support more than any other time in their lives. It is often the case that people want to outwardly show their capability and independence by creating distance between themselves and those people in their life that may otherwise help and support them. 

How do you stop people from pushing?

In order to stop forcing people away, it is important to first understand the reason as to why you act like this. Often it is the case that a person is feeling vulnerable but at the same time wanting to show their capability and ability to be independent of outside help. There is no means to stop distancing yourself from your loved ones without first understanding why you do it. 

Why do I push away the ones I love?

You may push the ones that you love away from you because you feel the need to show your capability and strength on your own. If you do not allow yourself to be vulnerable you will be unable to let other people into your life and to help you and support you when you need it. In order to understand why you need to think carefully and look inward. 

How do I stop pushing guys away?

If you want to prevent yourself from forcing guys away from you any longer it is important to gain an understanding of why you act like this and why you feel the need to push new people away. Many people begin to push people away as soon as they get too close to them in their life. As soon as they learn too much or become too close, they feel trapped and desire distance. 

Why do I push away those closest to me?

You may push those closest away from you because you subconsciously feel the need to outwardly show your strength of character and your ability to be alone. You distance yourself from your loved ones because you desire to show your inner strength and independence even when you need help and support more than ever before. 

In Conclusion

Many people push their loved ones or those close to them away. They feel the need to create distance in order to show their inner strength and capability to be independent of outside help and support. Even though they may need the help of others they are unable to be vulnerable enough to let those people into their lives and so create distance by pushing them away. 

Let us know what you thought in the comments and don’t forget to share this article!

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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