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How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone (17 Helpful Ways)

by Sonya Schwartz

When we crush on someone or we have recently broken up with someone we love, it can be hard for us to move on mentally. Many of us will fixate on a person and think of them all hours of the day. However, obsessing over someone can be an unhealthy mental state to be in. It stops you from moving on and finding love elsewhere, plus it can mean you spend a lot of your time living in a dream world as opposed to reality. 

But how do you stop obsessing over someone? Here, we look to answer that question that so many people struggle with and need to get help to stop obsessing and start moving forward. So if you are wondering how to stop obsessing over someone after a relationship ends, try reading through our 17 tips to help you quit those obsessive thoughts and help you lead a much better life right away.

Tips On How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone 

Here are our tips for how to stop obsessing over someone. Try employing a number at the same time to materially improve your chances of moving on quickly.

1. Delete Their Phone Number

If you want to know how to stop obsessing over a guy, one of the quickest ways to do so is to delete their number from your phone. In doing so, you are limiting the amount that you can contact them with the ease that your cell phone gives you. It is a quick win because it can help break your habit of trying to contact them as often as you do. Breaking that habit is a key way of stopping being obsessed with someone as it interrupts your thoughts and your current way of thinking. 

2. Erase Any Pictures You Have

One of the ways that we encourage an obsession is by looking back at pictures we may have of the person that we are obsessed with. To stop those thoughts, it can be really helpful to erase any picture you have of both of them. Even more crucially, erase any pictures you have of them with you. The very act of erasing them is mentally helpful and in the future, it can stop you from looking at images of them that encourage your obsessive thoughts. 

3. Unfollow Them On Social Media

unfollow them on social media

Social media is not a great place for those that have a crush which is bordering on obsession. It means we can spend too much time poring over a person’s social media for any clues as to what they are doing or how they are feeling. To stop this, unfollow them on social media so that you cannot be reminded of them when you come to check your accounts’ news feeds. That reminder stops you from moving on, so unfollowing them is one of the best and easiest things you can do. 

4. Don’t See Mutual Friends

If you have been in a relationship with a person you are currency obsessing over, you may have many mutual friends. In the period where you are trying to eradicate any thought of them from your mind, it can be helpful not to see the mutual friends you have in common with someone. The temptation to ask after your ex can be too much in addition to those very friends being reminders of what you did have with your ex in the first place. 

5. Getaway For A While

Staying in the same place you’ve been for a while can actually seriously hinder your ability to move on from a person who is now your ex or that you are crushing on. Going away on vacation can be a great way to stop obsessing as getting away from it all gives you a new stimulus to keep your mind occupied in new ways, as well as simply giving you some much-needed perspective on your life. 

6. Date Other People

A key method to moving on from an ex or getting over a crush is to start dating other people. Realizing that there are other people out there that can make you happy is a fundamental and crucial way to get on with your life and get it to a place where you are content and fulfilled. When we are obsessed with a person we so often forget that there are other people out there just as, or more than, capable of making us happy. 

7. Focus On You

focus on you

When you are obsessed with a person, it can have a detrimental effect on other parts of your life. To stop this from happening, take a proactive stance to focus on yourself for a period of time each day, every day. This can be doing meditation, taking an exercise class, indulging in a new hobby, or simply taking a bubble bath. 

8. Build Up Your Confidence

One of the reasons that people often have obsessive thoughts about another person is that they do not have the confidence or respect for themselves to move on. They think they cannot survive without their crush or their ex as they don’t have enough belief in their strength to live without them. Take the time to build up your confidence and realize that your life can be complete without your ex or crush. 

9. Take Every Day At A Time

Setting a big target such as ‘I am never going to think about my ex ever again’ sets us up for a fall. When we fail, we beat ourselves up over our failure making it difficult to move on. Instead, take every day at a time. Try not to think about your crush or ex for a morning or a whole day at first. And, if you don’t manage that, congratulate yourself on the time that you did spend not thinking about them. 

10. Stay Busy

Keeping yourself busy is a key way to keeping your thoughts free of obsession and clearing your mind. When you are busy, you don’t have the capacity to think of your ex which can help break the perpetual cycle that obsession can be. Staying busy then creates more things to keep yourself busy with in the future too so that when you do stop for a break, enough time should have passed that you can think about your ex in a far healthier way than you have previously. 

11. Start Healthy Habits

start healthy habits

One of the reasons that obsession can be so unhealthy is because we have not been realistic in how we are thinking about our ex. We remember them with rose-tinted glasses, or if we have a crush, we don’t see any of our crush’s bad points which means our obsession gets out of control. Instead, keep in mind that your ex or your crush is human with flaws that are just as crucial to concentrate on as their good points. 

12. Be Realistic

Having an obsession is an unhealthy habit. It is important when moving on from a person or crush to start a new healthier habit instead, therefore. So, for example, instead of checking your phone all the time to see if they have messaged you, pick up your phone to start reading the news or listen to music or podcast.

13. Remember Obsession Is Unhealthy

Having an obsession is a very indulgent habit. For that reason, it can be very unhealthy for our mental health which is important to remember when trying to move on. Stopping obsessing over someone is easier to do if you keep the bigger picture in mind. If you know that in the long run you will be happier and lead a better life for moving on from your obsessive thoughts, then it can give you the right encouragement to break this vicious cycle. 

14. Have A Digital Detox

In addition to deleting your crush's number from your phone or unfollowing your ex on social media, it can be a good idea to have a total digital detox to help us move on from our obsession. The reason being is that we are all so connected through the use of our mobile phones, that we have created many bad and unhealthy habits that make us forget how to live our lives without an internet connection. Break that habit and take time out from your phone and you’ll help break the habit of obsessing over your ex with your new outlook on life

15. Concentrate On The Good Things In Your Life

concentrate on the good things in your life

Realizing what you have that is good in your life can be a key way to stop thinking about another person all the time. We so often, when are obsessed with an ex or crush, fixate on how they can make our lives better and make us happy, all the while forgetting what we have in our lives already that can keep us content. 

16. Remember Why You Broke Up

It can be so easy to forget why you broke up with a person in the first place. While they may have broken up with you, the relationship was clearly not working for it to get to a place where one of you wanted out. Remember that and the reasons why you got to that place to help you looking back on the relationship with rose-tinted glasses. 

17. Create New Memories

Finally, get out and start living your life and creating new, wonderful experiences that are separate from your ex or from your crush. In doing so, you will realize that your happiness by no means depends on them being a part of your life at all. This helps you create a far more positive outlook on life that is irrespective of what your ex or crush is up to.

FAQs

Why do I obsess over one person?

Obsessing over someone, in particular, is very common. It comes from looking at that person with rose-tinted glasses so that you do not see them realistically. They become almost a fictitious version of themselves that you can see no wrong in so that you end up having obsessive thoughts. 

How can you get someone off your mind?

It can be hard to stop obsessing over someone, but it can be done if you take some proactive steps like the ones that we suggest above. Try employing a number of them at a time to help up the chances of stopping intrusive thoughts impeding your ability to get someone off your mind

How do I stop being obsessed with my partner?

It can be very common to become obsessed with your partner to such a degree that you no longer have a healthy relationship anymore. If one of you is obsessed with the other, the relationship can be imbalanced. Take a time out and focus on yourself for a while.

Do I have obsessive love disorder?

If you are worried that your obsessive thoughts are actually an obsessive love disorder, it can be helpful to seek outside, professional help. Go to a doctor to see what your options are and in the meantime, try to concentrate on yourself in terms of your physical and mental health. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

What is a romantic obsession?

Romantic obsession is when you are either obsessed with someone or obsessed with the idea of love or being in a relationship. The latter means that you are determined above all else to be in a relationship, and of all the things in life you want, your main goal is to find a long term partner.

How To Stop Obsessing Over Someone - Key Takeaways

Matters of the heart are incredibly sensitive and so often when we fall in love with a person or crush on them, we can start to focus on them in a way that can easily turn into an obsession. 

Obsession, however, can be an unhealthy state of mind to be in, so it is a good idea to try to break the habit of obsessive thoughts as soon as possible. Try using one or all of our recommendations above to help you move on as quickly as possible from your crush or your ex. It will help you start leading a happier life overall. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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