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11 Signs That He's Fighting His Feelings For You

by Sonya Schwartz

Do you suspect that a specific man likes you, even though he isn’t outwardly showing it?

Perhaps you’re hoping to figure out if he does like you, so that you can deal with the situation and move it forward?

If so, you’re in the right place. 

In this article, we’ll run through 11 signs that men will show if they’re hiding romantic feelings for you. 

However, before I explain these signs, it’s important for you to read the next few sentences very carefully.

For many years, I was stuck chasing guys who weren’t willing to commit to me. 

Even when I ended up in relationships, it was with men who appeared unable to show clear signs of true affection or commitment. 

I was only ever their “bit of fun”. 

Maybe you can relate to that? Well, I want to tell you how I turned it all around... 

It all started when I learned about a powerful aspect of male psychology called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’. 

This deeply-embedded instinct plays a key role in how men feel about their romantic partners. 

But only if you know how to trigger it…

Once I learned how, it was often the difference between being seen as short-term fling and as a long-term partner (read my personal story to learn how you can make this transformation).

It’s easy to learn, yet so few women seem to know about it. 

If you want to make a lasting impact on the special man in your life, click here to learn how I utilised the ‘Hero’s Instinct’. 

Of course, it may be that this special guy is already hiding serious feelings for you. The guide below reveals how to find out whether this is the case. 

1. He looks at you but doesn’t want you to notice.

One of the main signs that a man is into you is if he looks at you. He will keep his eyes on you the whole time you are around him, because he wants to take all of you in. He’s interested in everything about you, so naturally he will look at you and what you’re doing. When you are around him, you might be able to feel that his eyes are on you. However, as soon as you turn around or try to meet his eye contact, he will look away. He doesn’t want you to notice that he’s looking at you.

The same goes for eye contact with him. You might both make eye contact with each other, and it might be held for just a little too long. You will both probably be able to feel the sexual tension and chemistry between you. However, he will be the first one to look away. He doesn’t want to have or even show these feelings for you, and by staring into your eyes it only intensifies how he feels about you.

2. He might come close to kissing you, then pull away.

Have the two of you ever got so close that in that very moment you felt like the only two people in the world? Do you think this would’ve been the perfect opportunity for the two of you two kiss? Perhaps it was, but then he pulled away and completely ruined it.

If this man is trying to fight his feelings for you, he will always pull away if he comes too close to kissing you. Firstly, because he doesn’t want you to know that he wants to kiss you, and secondly because if he does kiss you it will only intensify the emotions that he is feeling towards you. He might physically pull away if you are very close to each other, or if you are talking and a kiss would seem like the right thing to do in that moment, he will quickly change the conversation and start talking about something not sexy or romantic at all. He wants to divert the kiss onto something else.

If you do actually kiss, then he will always be the first one to pull away from it. He might make up some kind of excuse, or just move his lips away from yours. He might try to laugh it off, or he might say something like, “I can’t do this”. He will do this, because when he is kissing you he cant stop himself enjoying it and wanting more. He doesn’t want to want you, or at least he doesn’t want you to know that he does, so he’ll stop it.

3. His body language shows that he is interested in you.

Even if he is an expert in playing it cool and acting like he isn’t interested in you, his body language will show you everything you need to know. There are so many body language signs that will show you if he does have feelings for you, and if you want to read about them more in-depth, then please feel free to go and have a read of my article, “Body Language of Men Falling In Love (12 Signs to Look Out For)”.

Some of the most obvious body language signs that he will be showing if he is interested in you will be that he mirrors your body language. For example, he will stand or sit in the same way that you do. He is subconsciously showing you that you are a good match. He might also mirror your movements. For example, when you go to take a drink he might do the same, or if you are touching your hair you might realise he does the same.

Another body language trait that shows he is interested in you could be that he gets nervous around you. This will be quite an obvious one to spot, even if people show their nerves in different ways. For example, you might notice that when he is around you or talks to you, he shakes a little, confuses his words or sweats. These are all signs that he is nervous around you because he likes you. He will also be extra nervous because he is trying to fight his feelings, and make sure that you don’t realise he likes you.

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Finally, you can see if he is always facing you. Is his body always turned towards you, no matter where you are in relation to him? This is because his subconscious is trying to show you that you have his full attention. You might notice that his whole body is faced towards you, or just his feet point towards you.

He will be completely unaware that he is showing these specific types of body language, so he won’t try to hide it. This is a really good way to tell if he does have feelings towards you, if otherwise he is very good at playing calm and collected around you.

4.  He is protective towards you.

If this guy likes you, he will try to protect you. This will be his natural instincts kicking in, and there won’t be much that he can do about it. You will be able to tell if he is protective over you if he reacts when you say something, or someone upset you. He likes you so he doesn’t want you to be upset, and he will be angry at the fact that something has affected you. He will be the first one to defend you, especially when you are not around. You might notice that your friends mention he was defensive over someone saying something nasty about you behind your back. This is a sure sign that he is being protective over you, especially because he was doing it even when you weren’t there. In fact, he would probably prefer to defend and protect you when you aren’t around, because then he doesn’t have to explain why he cares so much about you.

Similarly, he will always try to protect you when he is with you. For example, if you are walking down the street late at night with him, he will always be ready to defend you should you come into a bad situation.

If you try to thank him for protecting you or acting protective over you in a situation, he will shut it down and say that he would do the same for anyone – you know that he wouldn’t. He is protecting you because he has a romantic interest in you.

5.  He shows signs of jealousy.

Even if this guy is trying to fight his feelings towards you, and make sure that you don’t know if he feels for you, he won’t be able to control himself in the face of other men that are interested in you. He will still show signs of jealousy, even if he is trying to hide it. For example, does he act like you two are an item or you are taken if a man approaches you and tries to chat you up? It’s because he wishes you two were together, and even if you can't, he doesn’t want anyone else to be with you.

You can actually test the waters to see if he is jealous of other men being romantically or sexually interested in you. You could mention to him that some guy has been texting you and is trying to chat you up. See how he reacts. He will probably be trying his hardest to hide his jealousy, but you will still be able to see the frustration and anger in his face. He might even tell you that it’s not a good idea to take things further with this guy. He doesn’t want to see you with someone else.

6.  He never likes the man you are dating.

This guy, if he is interested in you, will be really off with any other men that you date. He will probably tell you that they are a bad idea or try to show you that they are a player. He will also tell you that you deserve so much better than that man, and that you should end things with him for someone better and more deserving of your time and energy. He might even go to the extent of making things up about the guy you’re seeing, just so that you break things off with him.

He will also never want to hang out with you if he knows the guy you are dating is going to be around. He will only ever want to spend time with you alone, or with your friends in a social situation. If he does end up meeting the guy that you’re with, he will be rude and dismissive of him. Unless this is his personality and he acts this way to everyone, you are going to be able to tell that he is being rude to the guy you’re with because he is jealous. He doesn’t like him, because he wants to be him, even if he is trying to hide how he feels.

7. He goes cold towards you.

When a man is trying to figure out his feelings towards you, and is trying to push his feelings down inside, he will probably go hot and cold on you. He is probably not only confused about he feels towards you, but if he is trying to fight his feelings, then he will randomly go cold on you.

He might cut all communication to you, you might not see him in a few days or weeks. You might think that you have done something wrong or upset him in some way. However, it won’t be your fault that he is ignoring you. He is having to ignore you, for the fear that if he spends any more time with you or speaks to you more often, you will see how he feels about you and he will like you even more than he already does. Essentially, if a man goes cold on you it is normally because he is trying to handle his emotions and put them back in check. He might also simply need time away from you, because he can’t cope with how he feels around you.

8. He always makes excuses to speak to you.

If this man likes you, he will always be finding excuses to speak to you. He won’t want you to know that he simply wants to speak to you, so he will always find a reason that he has to talk to you. It really depends on what kind of situation you are in to what excuse he would make to speak to you. But, for example, if you work together then he might text you about something business related. He doesn’t really care about what’s going on in the office or what time the meeting is tomorrow, he just wants to have some contact with you.

If he follows you or has you as a friend on social media, then he might make the excuse of replying to something that you have put on your story or post. For example, if you post a photo of a place, he might message you asking you where it is. Don’t get it twisted, he has no desire to visit the beach you went to last summer, he just wants to pop into your inbox. He will be hoping that by messaging you, a conversation will be sparked between you and you can talk to each other without you realising that he has feelings for you, because you aren’t face to face.

9. He takes note of everything you say.

When someone is developing romantic feelings for another, they make a mental note of absolutely everything the other person says. Literately, everything. If you mention anything, he will remember it, even things like where your grandparents live or what your cat is called. You will notice him remembering the things you have said to him previously the next time you talk. He might tell about the you things you spoke about the last time you chatted, and you might not even realise that you had said some of that stuff. He is listening so intently, because he wants to know about your life, and he is taking an interest in you.

Another example of this is if you have told him something like the fact that you have a really important meeting, or you are going for a weekend away next week. He might then text you when it comes to the day or the weekend and wish you all the best with it. If he does something like this, then you can be confident that he has feelings towards you. No one remembers all the little things about someone if they don’t really care about them and have an interest in them.

10. He asks you to hang out instead of going on a date.

Even though this man will want to spend time with you, he won’t have the guts to ask you on a date because of the fact he is trying to hide and fight his feelings for you. So, he will probably ask to hang out with you instead. Most of the time, he will ask you to join him at events like an after-work event or he might even suggest that you come and hang out with his friends, or vice versa. He won’t want to ask you to do anything that could be perceived as a real date, because then not only would you know that he is interested in you, but it will also intensify his feelings towards you.

He might also show up to things that you wouldn’t even think he’d be interested in going to. However, he is only there because he knows you will be there. Essentially, he wants more than anything to spend time with you but he doesn’t want to class it as a romantic date.

11. People around you feel the chemistry, but if they bring it up, he plays it down.

We can all tell when two people like each other or have sexual tension with each other. Sometimes, we will mention it to the people we feel it between, especially if they are our friends. So, has anyone that you both know ever mentioned that you both share an undeniable chemistry with each other? If so, he will have probably completely shut down the idea of it. He might have even said something like, “Don’t be silly , we are like brother and sister”.If he really thinks that then he clearly has a twisted idea of what family is.

He doesn’t want you to clock onto the fact that he really does feel things towards you, so he will completely dismiss it. The same goes for people suggesting that the two of you would make a good couple.

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Why do people try to fight their feelings?

A lot of the time, people will try to fight their feelings because they have been hurt in the past. They might not want to make themselves vulnerable again, because they know that they could get hurt again. It is a self-defence mechanism. They are trying to protect themselves from ever feeling head-over-heels in love again.

People might also try to fight their feelings if they ‘shouldn’t’ be with the person they have feelings towards in other people’s eyes. For example, if they are work colleagues or even worse if you are their friends ex-girlfriend. They are trying to hide and fight what they feel, because they know that other people will think that it’s wrong.

What should you do?

This really depends on how you feel about the man you think has feelings for you. If you like him too, then it might be a good idea to try and talk to him. It might be a good idea to be the first one to voice that you have feelings for him, and you shouldn’t expect anything from him too quickly. Tell him that he can be open with you and reassure him that you understand why he might be trying to fight his feelings. To avoid unrequited feelings, you might want to ensure that he is showing all these signs and does in fact like you. You don’t want to embarrass yourself if he doesn’t actually like you.

 If you don’t like him, then maybe it’s a good idea to create some distance between the two of you so that he can let his feelings go towards you, and hopefully move on and be happy with someone else. It’s a kind thing to do, that you don’t even need to tell him you are doing.

Conclusion

I really hope that this article has helped you to figure out if the man you are thinking about does have feelings for you, and he is just hiding it. Hopefully you can figure out why he is hiding his feelings and what you can do about it moving forwards.

Did this article help you at all? If it did and you liked what you read, please let us know in the comments. We would love to hear from you.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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