Are you someone who wants to go on dates with more than one person at once? It’s actually more common than you may think, especially for younger women today.
However, it’s essential to be straightforward and honest with all the guys you date. Telling these men about your choice to date multiple people is better sooner rather than later. After all, you don’t want him finding out through a random person. It may cause hurt feelings and possibly end your relationship on bad terms.
Before telling your new guy that you’re dating other people, it’s imperative to figure out your reasons for wanting to tell him in the first place. For example, do you want to make him jealous? Or are you simply wanting to be upfront right away to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings down the road?
If you’re still not sure what to do, this article is for you. Below are 11 things to consider to help you answer the question, “should I tell him I’m dating other guys?”
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If dating multiple guys is something that you truly want for yourself, then yes, it’s okay. However, do take into consideration the other people who are involved and what they want too.
Are they okay with an open relationship? Do they get jealous easily? These are all questions that are key to have with all your dating partners before things get super serious.
And always be respectful of everyone’s feelings. If he doesn't like the idea of you dating other people, you may need to let him go. You can find other people who are interested in open relationships.
If going out with several men (two or three) in your search for the right one is your strategy, it only makes sense to let your date know right away (on the first date even) what you’re up to. The perfect time to tell him is in the beginning, it’s safer and more respectful.
Also, neither of you have invested much time in the relationship yet. So, it’s much simpler for him to walk away if he doesn’t agree with your strategy. As long as you are honest with him initially, whatever decision he makes is up to him.
It's important to consider what your partner wants. Is he someone who is looking for an exclusive relationship? Or is he only interested in dating one person at a time? This may indicate that he won't be open to you dating more than one person either.
This is another reason why it's vital to tell him upfront that you're dating multiple people. It gives you both the opportunity to walk away from the relationship without too much heartache.
Always be respectful if your partner isn't okay with it, and stop dating him if he isn't interested. You can then move forward and find people who are okay with it.
After telling your guy that you’re going on other dates with other men, pay attention to his reaction. Does he seem jealous? Or insecure? Perhaps he suddenly puts in more effort because he’s competitive and doesn't want to lose you. His reaction will give you more information about where he’s at.
Some women reveal that they’re seeing someone else just to have a reaction from their partner. This shouldn’t be your reason for telling him though. You’re telling him because it’s respectful and gives him the chance to decide if he is comfortable moving forward with you.
It’s important to know how interested or invested he is in starting a relationship with you before telling him you’re seeing anyone else.
How would you feel if the tables were turned and a guy told you about his dating status after you’ve already slept with him a couple of times? Or after you become more emotionally invested? It hurts. This is why it is important to put it out there from the beginning and see where the ride takes you both, not the reverse.
Don’t wait to share that you’re seeing other people until you get serious or physically intimate. Many guys and women become more connected and closer when things get sensual. You owe it to him to tell him about the other guy before you get to that point.
You both need to define what you’re looking for before going the extra mile. Is this a friends with benefits situation? Or are you looking to start a relationship? Communicate and learn all these answers before getting physically intimate. It complicates the situation and makes it harder for everyone.
Ask yourself what your intentions are for telling him. Are you doing it to make him jealous? Is this a ploy to make him ask you out? Or do you just want to know how serious he is about being in a relationship with you?
This might seem like a challenging situation to put yourself in at first, but you should come clean about it. Knowing your reason for telling him helps you to discover the best way to tell him.
Be straightforward and don’t play mind games. You want to leave the right impression, especially if you still want to date him. And, if he isn’t interested after you tell him, it’s okay because you were honest and respectful enough to let him know.
I can’t overemphasize the need for this information to come from you. Finding out from a third party makes the entire situation worse and paints you out to be a terrible person.
Telling him about the other men shows him that you respect the relationship. It takes courage to be honest about your dating situation even when you like someone. Don’t leave room for misconceptions, come clean.
This isn’t a competition about who’s getting the most attention from suitors. Remember, you’re dating to find ‘the one’ not fooling around just because you can. You want to show him that you respect him and you would expect the same courtesy in return.
Personally, I think there’s a limit to how many people you can date within a timeframe otherwise it’s simply chaotic.
So, simply tell him you’ve been dating others, but don’t go into much detail even if he’s okay with it.
Consider the mutual connection between the two of you before talking about these other men. When you sense that things are getting pretty intense, it’s important to let him know, even though you said it earlier.
Don’t assume that he just “gets it” before you fully communicate. Some guys may think that you’re exclusive simply because you’ve been on a few dates together. So, make sure he understands that until you have a conversation about commitment, you’re probably seeing other people.
That’s how it works. You both have to talk about commitment before anyone makes the choice to commit.
Seeing multiple people is really about keeping your options open while you discover what you want out of a relationship.
If you see a future with a particular guy, you need to tell him you’re seeing others because great relationships are built on trust and honesty. Also, if you don’t see a future with him, it’s probably better to end the relationship instead of dragging it on.
You may be asking yourself, “is it okay to talk to multiple guys at once?” There’s no right or wrong here. What matters in this situation is what you want. No one gets to decide what is best for you, only you can answer it for yourself. If you’ve decided that going on dates with several guys at the same time works best for you, great!
Just be honest with the other guys so that they don't feel misled or disrespected.
The best way to tell someone that you’re dating more than one guy is to set some time aside to have a conversation with him. Don’t beat around the bush when you tell him and don’t brag about it either.
Pay attention to his reaction after you tell him you’re seeing several people. If he says he is okay with it and it’s no big deal, then great! This means you have more opportunities to get to know this guy. If he is uncomfortable and not into it, it may be time to move on from this guy.
It’s a mathematical solution for picking the best partner for you in your lifetime. The rule is that you should date and reject the first 37% of your total lifetime partners. This will give you the best chance for picking the right person for you.
There isn’t an exact timeline to know when it is appropriate to date someone else. Ask yourself if you feel ready to introduce a new person into your life. Or maybe you need more time to let someone go. Or perhaps you want more time with someone you’re currently dating. It’s up to you. What feels good and right for you?
If you’re dating one person but you find yourself being attracted to someone else, it’s totally normal. However, you must ask yourself if you’re willing to possibly lose the current guy you are with to pursue another relationship. If you’ve told your partner that you are dating another guy, he may be okay with it. But, be sure you communicate all of it respectfully and honestly.
I hope this article helped you to discover several reasons to tell your guy that you’re dating multiple people. Dating multiple guys is a personal choice, but being honest in the beginning of your relationships is extremely important. It helps to prevent hurt feelings and frustration in the long run.
Please share this article with anyone who may be in a similar predicament. Feel free to share with us your experience dating multiple people simultaneously. How did it work out for you?