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How To Deal With An Indecisive Man (21 Supportive Ways)

by Sonya Schwartz

Indecisiveness is one habit that starts out as seemingly harmless. However, it can grow into something quite annoying. As a woman, you probably want a guy that knows how to make a decision without having too many doubts. 

It can get really nerve-wracking when men don’t know what they want. However, if you have a partner that struggles with indecisiveness, there’s always a way to handle that. You may feel the need for him to man-up and take the reins once in a while, but until that happens, it’s best to tread with caution.

If you really have strong feelings for this guy and want to continue the relationship regardless of the red flags and indecisive traits, then here are some tips that could help you deal with indecision in a relationship. 

21 Ways To Deal With Indecision In A Relationship

1. Try to chip in helpful options

Sometimes, what indecisive guys need is a woman who knows when to fly in and save the day. Okay, that may sound a little dramatic, but for guys who find it really hard to make decisions, that may be the best option. 

If he has a hard time making choices like which friends to cut off, or maybe even choose between a green or grey tie in the morning, then helping him out with such dilemmas would be helpful. 

However, it’s important to draw the line on how far you are willing to go. If this hard decision affects your love or family life, then calling the shots all the time may not help the relationship in the long run. 

2. Be the assertive one

Be the assertive one

If you have a partner that finds it hard to make choices because of underlying self-esteem or mental issue, then you may have to step in more often than not and call the shots. When you go out to a restaurant together, you may have to be the one making the orders, choosing the best table, and figuring out where to go right after.

It might sound stressful, but if you love this guy, and believe that he can get better, then it’s best to make the choices in the relationship. However, if you don’t even really know what you want, it’s best to consider dealing with this matter more in-depth, because two wrongs don’t make a right. 

3. Heads or tails?

So there will be times in your relationship where you will have to show your partner how critical choices are, and how making the wrong decision can affect situations. However, rather than tell him outrightly, (as he has probably heard complaints about his indecisiveness over and again) show him. 

The next time he is unsure about the right choice to make, suggest a trivial solution like tossing a coin. It doesn’t matter if he’s trying to choose between traveling to see his family in the summer or sending them gifts, or figuring out what to eat for lunch, suggest a die toss. Tell him to choose heads or tails, then flip the coin. Whatever the results have to be binding. 

You may wonder how this tip solves everything, well, the truth is, some guys may not know what they want, but they know what they don’t want. So if the coin toss gives them a result that is less desirable, it may encourage them to actually make the decision they wanted in the first place. 

4. Encourage him

Sometimes, what your guy really needs is a little nudge in the right direction. That doesn’t necessarily mean making choices for him, it just means trying to be supportive, regardless of his decision. It may not seem meaningful to you, but what’s important is that you encourage him to make a decision and stick to it.

Even though that decision wasn’t the right one, encourage the guy by letting him know that no one has all the answers, and what’s important is learning to take a step without overthinking the results all the time. It will help your relationship with him, and hopefully, teach him how to trust his choices more. 

5. Let him know how his indecisiveness affects the relationship

Has this man ever had to make a decision that affected your love-life or relationship as a whole? Did that choice end up affecting the relationship or the love you shared? Then you should let him know. A lot of guys continue in indecision because they don’t know how costly their actions or inactions can be. 

So, rather than being overly tolerant and bitter about his indecision, let him know how much it affects you.  

6. Give him the silent treatment

Okay, so there will be times that you will need to step in and save the day, and other times while you stand by and let him make a decision himself. If he is finding it hard to make up his mind about an important matter or even prove his love for you, then try switching things up by being silent. 

Don’t call or text him, and let him be alone with his thoughts for a while. Doing this could trigger him to make the right decision about your relationship. If he is still unsure about his feelings for you, keeping quiet and getting your voice out of his head could help him make an independent decision that may be the first of many. 

7. Control yourself

Control yourself

Let’s be honest, there are times you feel like shaking sense and confidence into this man to trigger his decision-making skills. However, it’s not up to you. If the relationship is to work overtime, then he has to learn to make choices himself. So, until he lanterns the ropes of doing so, try not to be too confrontational or offended about his behavior. 

Also, don’t try to pressure him into doing things your way, just breathe and stick with the plan. If you’re giving him the silent treatment, continue with that, and if you choose to keep encouraging him, stick to that as well. 

8. Give an ultimatum

Ultimatums may just be exactly what you need to get that man to put his foot down. If you have been in a relationship for some months or years, and he still hasn’t made a decision on how a future with you would look like, then it’s time for an expensive ultimatum

It’s true that some indecisive people don’t do well with ultimatums, but sometimes, when your back is against the wall, that’s when your confidence comes alive. So, try giving him an ultimatum on your relationship, if you want a committed relationship, let him know that if he’s not on the same page with you, you’ll have to take a healthy walk out of his life. 

9. Maintain healthy communication

It’s important to avoid heated conversations that could only worsen the matter. Some indecisive people are already very stressed and pressured, so adding unhealthy conversations will not help the matter. Rather, ensure your communication stays supportive yet firm and encouraging yet realistic. 

If you need to see a therapist, let him know kindly without making him feel ‘less-than’, and encourage your man to do the same. It’s important that both of you agree to keep all conversations healthy, so you can sanely find a solution together. 

10. Choose your battles 

There are some decisions your spouse or partner may want to make that have to be independent of any involvement. Let’s say he is deliberating on a family matter, that’s not the time to force him to do what you want. He has to learn to make decisions based on his relationship with others, and critical thinking. 

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Don’t try to intrude on every area of his life just to gain control, let him have the space to interact with others and come to a conclusion himself. 

11. Stimulate his mind

It may be necessary to play some mind games on this man to help him make the right decision. This tip isn’t manipulative or controlling, it’s actually quite brilliant. That’s because some guys may not make a decision without being ‘tricked’ into doing so. How do you play mind games on your man? 

Well, you can start by creating an emergency scenario that requires him to give a speedy response. If he thinks everything rides on his ‘yes or no’, that inner confidence or wisdom he’s been so unsure of may suddenly come alive. Another way of getting him to make choices could be by asking him a question fast and requiring a speedy response. 

If he gets used to thinking fast and trusting his guts, then making important decisions may not be so challenging in the future.

12. Tell him to follow his instincts

Everyone has that gut feeling or what we call ‘instincts’, especially when making important decisions. Instincts can be defined as innate or natural intuition that usually comes as a response to a situation. So, there’s that gut feeling or inclination your partner feels at times, he just hasn’t learned how to trust or follow them. 

So where do you come in? Well, it’s your place to let that man know that deep down inside him, he knows what to do. It’s the science of words, sometimes people don’t consider doing something until you suggest it to them. 

In this case, you would be making him aware of the fact that he can trust his instincts, and really on his natural intuition most times when he doesn’t know what to do. 

13. Support the decisions he makes

It’s one thing to encourage him to make more independent decisions, and it’s another thing to support him even when his final choice doesn’t please you. Belittling or invalidating his choices will not help him in any way. The same way you want him to respect your choices, accord him with that same respect. 

Don’t think for a second that his self-confidence or ability to make independent decisions will improve if you second-guess his choices. It will only worsen the case, and make him trust his judgment even less. 

14. Don’t let him flatter you

Some indecisive guys know exactly what to say to keep you waiting for them forever, and that’s why it’s important not to get seduced by their fancy words. If this guy is buttering you up to avoid a break-up or an important conversation, stand your ground. Indecisive people may not be the most confident, but that doesn’t mean they aren't cunning. 

So watch out for those ever-so-slick words, and stand your ground. If he is not being straight with you, or trying to be the playboy and using indecision as an excuse, it’s better to call him out on it. Plus, if you made the decision not to enable his behavior, don’t let his sweet face or words make you change your mind. 

15. Exercise patience

Exercise patience

The previous tip did mention the need to call him out on his vices, however, it’s still essential to employ patience. You may want to take things slow and see how things change over time, so you don’t end up regretting your own choices later on. 

16. Don’t get your hopes up

When you are dating a guy who is indecisive, you may think that changing him would take a week, or a month or two. Well, the truth is that he may take longer to fully adjust to making his own decisions. The changes may be very little and gradual, and sometimes, he may slip back into these bad habits. 

17. Be selfish sometimes

When you are dating an indecisive guy, don’t put all your energy into changing him or making him feel more confident. Sometimes, take advantage of the situation to make wise and well-thought-out decisions. It shouldn’t always be about what he wants just because you are trying to make him feel more comfortable when making certain choices. 

Remember, if you are in a relationship with this man, his choices affect you as well. So if you want something, don’t always put him first, let him know that you are as committed to your happiness as you are to his. 

18. Keep reminding him about his commitments

An indecisive person may need someone that will regularly remind him about what’s at stake. If he is stalling on making an important decision, it’s your duty to remind him of what he had promised (if there were any promises or commitments), so he knows how to respond. 

If he knows how important the situation is not just for him, but for others, it may help him settle down and make a wise decision. 

19. Don’t give in to excuses

There are times your man will try to use this behavior flaw to get away with things, don’t let him. If he promised to take you on a date but backs down because he can’t figure something essential out, offer to help him go through the options. When he notices that you are committed to ensuring that he keeps his side of the deal, that guy will certainly sit up.  

20. Know when to give up

Even with all these tips, you may not always get the guy to make an important situation. Plus, you may start feeling drained or pressured to make him more assertive and decisive. However, it’s important to know when to let go. You cannot help someone who doesn’t want to change, 

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21. Leave

If you feel that staying in such a relationship or waiting for a man you admire to choose you is too draining, don’t feel bad about walking away. At the end of the day, you have to think about yourself first, and that’s totally okay. 

FAQs

What does it mean when a guy is indecisive?

Indecisive men are unreliable, and that can mean many things. They could either be reluctant to make any real commitments or find it hard to make important decisions. It could also mean that he still has other female friends or ex’s, and is having a hard time deciding on who truly loves. 

How do you deal with an indecisive person?

There are many ways to deal with an indecisive guy, you can either try to motivate him to take charge and make decisions, let him know how much his indecision is affecting the relationship, abstain from making decisions for him and even leave the relationship. The truth is, not all relationships are worth fighting for, and some men find it hard ending their other relationships and sticking with one lady because of this behavior. So, the gravity of the situation will determine how it should be handled. 

What makes a person so indecisive?

A lot of time, indecision is a direct result of insecurities. People who find it hard to make a choice or stick with a decision usually have confidence and self-esteem issues. Some guys are also afraid of making the wrong decisions and sticking with it, while others have made it a habit to be lackadaisical about the matter. So, while some men may exhibit such traits due to s lack of confidence, others may just have gotten used to the idea of someone else making important decisions for them.

What skills do indecisive people lack?

Indecisive people have the inability to make timely or independent choices. They are not confident when making decisions, they may not think fast on their feet, and may easily be forced or manipulated into making major or even minor decisions. 

Why do I struggle with decision-making?

Sometimes, indecision could be a sign of underlying health or mental condition. It could be as trivial as simply being stressed at the time, and as serious as being depressed or as a result of mental disorders like aboulomania. The stress, anxiety, or deep depression associated with this disorder may be the reason why some people find it hard to make decisions. 

To Conclude

Did you enjoy reading through this list? I sure hope you did. Remember, indecisive people may be going through a lot of stress and pressure, so it’s important how well you handle the situation. 

Hopefully, with the tips I have provided above, you should be able to remain calm when things don’t go as planned while helping your partner do better when it comes to decision-making. 

Kindly remember to leave a comment below and share this article with others, Cheers. 

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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