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How To Deal With A Smoking Spouse ( 11 Ways To Handle Their Bad Smoking Habits)

July 3, 2024

Is your husband a smoker? Do you want him to stop smoking but don't know how to go about it? Then you are in the right place. There are several ways to help your husband quit smoking cigarettes. The truth is, it’s very likely he wants to quit but can’t. Research shows that approximately 70% of smokers want to quit, but only a few percent succeed. 

It takes a lot to stop smoking; it is never as easy as a non-smoker thinks it is. For your husband to quit, he needs the proper support mechanism, and you play a significant role. Before you decide to confront him, you must have good reasons that will convince him that you care about his well-being. Once he agrees, try to set goals and work towards them. 

Instead of trying to force him not to smoke that cigarette, talk to him about it with love and make sure when you set this goal that syncs with him. He must make a decision to stop first; if not, your efforts will be futile because you can't change who doesn't want to change.

Don't forget every relationship has its up and down, and we must all learn to compromise, so if you want things to work between you and your husband, you must overlook some things; because I'm pretty sure while you were dating, he was smoking. But if you can't cope with it, here are 11 ways you can deal with a smoking husband.

11 Ways To Deal With Your Smoking Husband

1. Express your concerns

express your concerns

Don't just start to lecture him on the health risk of smoking; he most probably knows them already. Let him know how his smoking habit makes you feel. Also let him know that you want to live life with him till old age, but the smoking is causing his health to deteriorate. He should know the emotional effect it's having on you. 

You can also provide the cost analysis. So instead of buying packs of cigarettes to smoke, you can suggest that money should be spent on something else or kept as savings. Let him know how embarrassed you feel when you see him smoke on a public occasion. 

And you are not the only one affected because the children are also watching and picking up traits fastly as they grow. But make sure you do this calmly. Your manner of approach towards the issue will go a long way.

2. Suggest an aid

No doubt, it is going to be difficult for him to stop smoking. So you can suggest alternative aids like a nicotine product as a replacement. They come in different forms like inhalers, patches, chewing gum, or nasal sprays.

Although this has its own advantage and disadvantage, most nicotine replacement could be more expensive than cigarettes. Apart from nicotine replacement, medications that alter brain chemicals can also be prescribed. You both should have a conversation about it and choose the best alternative that you can afford.

3. Have patience

Be patient. Getting rid of an addiction is not an easy thing for anyone; he may also be scared of the withdrawal symptoms like aggression, irritability, weight gain, insomnia, increased appetite, and others. 

These withdrawal symptoms may even be stronger than the cigarette cravings, so you need to be patient. Don't pressure him or force him, and don't be in such a hurry to think that he will stop in one day. It can never happen. Prepare yourself because this process takes months.

4. Introduce distractions

Maybe he can forget smoking if he channels his energy to something else. So you can come up with distractions that will help reduce his cravings and any other withdrawal symptom that may occur. 

You can introduce a new game, take a walk together, learn a new craft, watch a movie, or do other stuff he enjoys doing—just so he doesn't smoke. You can also suggest some things to him that he should try out in your absence, like taking herbal tea, meditation, yoga, and whatever you can think of that could serve as a distraction.

5. Keep the right company

If your partner hangs out with chain smokers, it will be hard for him to stop because of peer influence and peer pressure. He may subconsciously get into it one day, mainly if he has not entirely gotten over it yet. 

So, help him monitor the places that he goes to and the people he associates with as he tries to quit smoking. Also, he should try not to attend any event where he can get tempted to take a puff or just one smoke.

6. Keep the environment happy

Stress is one of the smoking triggers. So, try to keep the home environment stress-free and make sure he avoids anything that inflicts stress on him. Let him only get involved in activities that make him happy and relax. 

Be calm and supportive while he is struggling to get rid of his addiction.  So, he won’t have any reason to smoke out of anger or stress. No doubt, if he can do away with smoking, it will also be beneficial to the home environment. 

7. Keep encouraging him

Don't ever get tired of encouraging him. If you give up halfway in the journey, he will too. He may have relapsed trying to quit smoking but keep encouraging him through it all. Let him know you believe a day will come when he will no longer be a smoker.

Even when small steps of progress are made, affirm him, tell him how proud you are of his progress but don't get so excited that you stop monitoring him. If he is losing hope, you can attach rewards to it like gift cards, compliments, encouraging notes, or even a vacation ticket. Just do as much as you can to make him want to quit smoking.

8. Seek help

seek help

Keep in mind that all your effort might be futile and you might not be able to help your spouse quit smoking on your own. So, know when to get help from others, including a therapist. If he is having a hard time or the withdrawal symptoms are too much, you can visit a behavioral therapist. 

Getting help from others and involving different therapies could really do good in this situation. There is only so much we can't handle by ourselves. So, it is perfectly ok if we seek help.

9. Make the quit smoking plan together

Let him know that you are in this together and he is not alone. Do not dominate his life and make plans for him alone. Talk about your concerns. You can both jot down alternatives to smoking. 

This can be based on the time he gets the urge to smoke. Then come to an agreement on how to go through the phase together. Two can do much better than one. So do not let him go through this challenge alone, be there for him.

10. Make lifestyle changes

Some healthy food choices can help him quit smoking. Prepare fresh and healthy food for the whole family, not just for him alone. This way, he won’t feel like you are isolating him. Everyone should make the food and lifestyle adjustments together. 

Use this tool to check whether he actually is who he says he is
Whether you're married or have just started seeing someone, infidelity rates are on the rise and have increased over 40% in the last 20 years, so you have all the right to be worried.

Perhaps you want to know if he's texting other women behind your back? Or whether he has active Tinder or dating profile? Or worse yet, whether he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

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You can also start exercising together. This will help release some endorphins, the happy hormones. This will likely give him a ‘high’ or calmness, that will replace the urge to smoke.  The bottom line is to let healthy distractions be available.

11. Monitor the change

At the beginning of the quitting smoking journey, take a close-up picture of him. Then, mid-way through the journey, take another close-up shot. When he sees the healthy change the journey is bringing, he will be encouraged and confident to see it through to the end. Even internally, there will be a change in his lung function, blood pressure, and circulation. 

He will also have healthier skin, teeth, and hair. 


Is smoking grounds for divorce?

It depends on individual preference. You likely met your husband smoking even before you started dating. So, if you can deal with it, then there is no need for a divorce. But if you can't cope with it, you can leave. This is especially important if you don't want your children growing in such an atmosphere.

What do I do if my husband won't quit smoking? 

Firstly, you need to accept him the way he is and make peace with the situation. But at the same time let him know his decision of not quitting smoking affects you. When doing this, make sure you give him reasons. He might see reasons with you now, but one day, he may decide to quit.

What to say to a smoker to make them quit? 

Making a smoker quit can be quite a challenge, but you can ask him how he feels about it. If he knows the health challenges that come with it, affirm him that he can stop once he puts his mind to it. Make him feel you are supporting him and it's a gradual process.

What smoking says about your personality? 

It says a lot about your personality. It means you might not be able to handle addictions. Most people think smokers are very aggressive and never want to be talked to, so this could make people give you some space.

How do you convince someone to stop smoking? 

Don't just tell a smoker why he should stop smoking a pack of cigarettes. At the same time, don't tell them it is bad for their health because they know. You must be empathetic and show genuine concern. This way, they might be able to change their mind.

Key Takeaways  

I hope you found this article helpful. When dealing with your husband on a sensitive issue like this, you must learn to be patient and do it from a place of love. And make sure you don't rush him.  Seeing the improvement of his health will be enough to stir further motivation to quit smoking.

Let me know what you think, and please don't forget to share this article with others.

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.


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