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How to Attract an Aquarius Man in 8 Simple Steps

Last updated on June 7, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Are you trying to attract an Aquarius man?

Perhaps there’s an Aquarius in your social circle who you are hoping will notice you? 

Or maybe you’ve just started dating one and you are looking for ways to impress him?

If so, you’re in the right place. This article provides your ultimate guide to attracting an Aquarius.

However, before we dive into this, I want to share a very important story with you.

I spent most of my twenties desperately fighting to make men like me. 

It turned out I wasn’t so great at it! 

At the most, I’d be their ‘bit of fun’ for a short while before they found someone else. It felt like I’d never find a man who loved me for me!

However, this all changed when I learned about a little-known aspect of male psychology called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’. 

This primal instinct has a huge impact on how men perceive the women in their life. 

If you activate this line of thinking, it often releases deep feelings of pride and purpose inside him. Naturally, he becomes more drawn to women who can make him feel like this.

Once I learned how to activate the ‘Hero’s Instinct’, it became a lot easier to get into deep fulfilling relationships with fantastic men (read my personal story to learn more).  

This is a simple skill to learn, once you know how. 

If you’re looking to attract a special guy, I’d recommend you learn more about how I discovered the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.     

Of course, there’s every chance that this Aquarius is already attracted to you! The guide below will help you realise whether this is the case.

What an Aquarius Man Wants

1. Be mysterious around him

You need to try and get this man alone and if you can talk to him about important issues and can connect deeply with him, this will be really attractive to him.

If we think about you just meeting him, you might notice that he isn’t really talking to you, but he is watching you, relax as this is a typical trait of this sign. They tend to be quite overwhelmed by emotion of any type. If he is attracted to you and likes you, he will probably ignore you, but will keep looking at you. Just do exactly the same thing back but when you look at him staring, try and hold that gaze and create an air of mystery around yourself.

2. Be classy and knowledgeable

An Aquarius loves a classy and knowledgeable woman who is ideally ethical and driven. He will not be as fussed about how you look but will be very attracted to your brains and your interests. This could be something spiritual, history, the arts or even the universe! You may fund that he is also very attuned to astrology too. A higher octave of all the other planets, Aquarius tends to have a big ego and can also be very straight talking. Being open and honest with him whilst also holding some of that mystery is key. You can make light conversation around romance and love, but try and hold back.

3. Be a friend to him and don’t put pressure on

As mentioned, an Aquarius loves connections, sharing and community and their energy really demands friendships and companionship fore mostly and they are not just looking for romantic love but they are keen to find someone that they can call their best friend and their girlfriend. They admire a chance to be a friend fore mostly so try not to jump into any relationship with him and instead just warm the relationship by showing your caring side and just enjoying the friendship first. The best way to do this is to show how friendly and cool you are, how many friends you have yourself and in generally, your positive and outgoing energy.

This is a typically trait for this sign, and he is unlikely to just jump in and offer to take you on a date straight away, you are almost certainly heading for a long wait as he becomes your friend. This can be annoying, especially when you really want to be in a relationship or at least complemented so you know you are on the right path - but if you can wait for him to let his guard down first, you are in with a great shot. Whilst the Aquarius is not like a Capricorn who is ruled by Saturn where they find it hard to love and be very guarded, whereas the Aquarius is ruled by Saturn and Uranus so they do still have that guarded edge to them.  They won’t be the kind of man who says ‘I think you are beautiful off the bat – they are going to make sure they are comfortable with you.  Treat him like a friend first, just like someone you don’t really want a relationship with – even you do. Don’t worry too much because Aquarius men want to be in love! It can just take a little longer for them to express their emotions and feelings, so be patient and try and hold off on physical contact until he drives it.

4. Don’t be too emotional with him

Another way to attract an Aquarius is to not be too emotional. These logical people like to live with reason and they tend to be quite detached from their feelings. They prefer to do things only and always when they have been driven from rational decisions If you could pop into their head you would see that they tend to run things over and over. If you have tears, big gestures and emotional dramas, they won’t know how to handle this and will likely run a mile! If you want to attract an Aquarius man try not to scare them off. Anger and other extreme emotions should be kept in check. If you are feeling emotional try and convey that rationally. If you want to talk about something, just talk like you are having a calm discussion and keep emotion out of things. If you can be logical and reasoned you stand a very good chance of attracting him .

5. Keep him guessing as much as possible

A common trait with this Uranus based sign is his unpredictability and his boredom. Because he uses his mind, he needs to be stimulated and to have those surprises and buzzes. Show him that you are also full to the brim of ideas and adventure. If you can demonstrate your eccentric side as well, this will be a huge turn on for him! Other signs would like to know you right off the bat – perhaps a Cancer sign would want your life story – an Aquarius would like you to keep a bit of mystery and hold back a little. He will ask a lot of questions about you though, and you may find he won’t answer many about himself!

He will be trying to balance the conversation so he withholds personal detail, but he might try and show off how smart he is. You can help him be attracted to you by being very complimentary around his intellect without being too sappy.

6. Be independent

An Aquarius is keen for you to let him have a bit of freedom. This naturally rebellions sign is someone who really does want to go off and do their own thing when they can. If you are a homebody or someone who would struggle with this, don’t show it! (or look for another sign.) Just like Capricorn and Aries men, this sign values his independence a lot and because he has a lot of friends you may see him hopping groups and getting out and about often literally into the great outdoors. If you can get him outside then he will likely be in his elements and will start to see you as very attractive indeed.

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

Boredom is the death of the relationship for this sign, so show him that you are very cool, interested in him as a friend and having those adventures but that you aren’t wanting to lock him down!

You have to show that you are busy-with work, a hobby, or something else. An Aquarius will run a mile if he senses that you are clinging or waiting for him in anyway. That’s not to say he won’t help you, as someone who is focused on equality and community, he is the kind of guy who is here to make the world a better place – so if you volunteer you might be able to get him to come along here.

You may have already seen that an Aquarius man will blow hot and cold. You might find that he will speak to you for days, and then reboot with alone time. They won’t feel that they need to feel they speak to your every day, so you can’t be intense. Let him come to you as much as possible and he will find this very attractive.

If you are too available, this won’t be attractive to him. He also won’t want you to plan his schedule or your dates / outings together – try and let him be the man and lead as much as possible.

A not eon this – if you think that you won’t be attractive because you have a partner, think again! This rebel will be very interest in the forbidden fruit!

7. Be creative and witty

An Aquarius man is usually intelligent but also very creative and appreciates a woman who can also be very creative as well. He is probably inventive and coming up with amazing ideas and is very keen to show his imagination/ If you can contribute to these ideas and tell him about quirky adventures and plans for the future, as well as things you have read and looked at you will absolutely attract this man. He wants to know about everything in the world and the small things don’t hold much appeal to him. Try and keep some zest around you. In a group conversation instead of being a plane Jane, try and talk about something unexpected. Bear in mind that as mentioned, he is very keen on equality and freedom, so be sure not to put people down on how they look or act as this will be a big turn off for him. He also doesn’t like to hear about drama and gossip-  he will be much more interested in the future and moving forwards and positivity around this.

8. You need to stand out

Aquarius men like to see other people showing interest. Whilst they take their time to get into liking you, he will seek out women that are attractive, but you don’t have to be conventional. He is looking for something, a special spark that you convey. You could dress differently, you might have an unusual career or a hobby – this would really attract him in the first instance before he gets to know you.

Are you ready to date an Aquarius man?

When feel like you are starting to be interested in the Aquarius man you have to be prepared to get past the detached nature and the front he puts up to get to the inner centre of him. Naturally defensive, he is someone that you will have to be the right woman for. If you are independent, able to offer adventure and excitement and also can cope with someone blowing hot and cold, he might be the man for you. A lot of making an Aquarius attracted to you is playing games. You might find him ignoring your text messages and you might get frustrated with him treating you as just another buddy in his life. If you can get beyond this and this doesn’t matter as much to you, you are likely to have something special.

Please leave the details below of the man in your life and the issues you are facing. Or, if you have already attracted an Aquarius man, can you tell us how you did it? It’s great to share tricks and hints together.

Please do also share this across your social networks so we can help more women wanting to attract an Aquarius man know the right steps to take, as you can see, being too clingy and pushy, emotional and physical early on could be a big mistake with this fixed sign, so let’s spread the word.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

21 comments on “How to Attract an Aquarius Man in 8 Simple Steps”

  1. Hello, i'hve been in a relationship with this Aquarius man from 18months or so we spend most of the time privately may be every 15 days and he usually don't talk much to me but he was the one who told that he like me after few months after our relationship i'hve been talking to me little emotionally which he don't like but as a cancer sign it's hard for me to be detached that don't work out with me but really like this guy and again few months after I spoke to him something like what I'm I in your life and all, through social media (what's app) didn't respond anything he just blocked me and even my phone is blocked what should I understand through this behaviour will he come back please tell me.

    1. These types of people don't know how to really communicate properly, I have a friend like this but with an Aquarius moon in his chart and this can be very conflicting to deal with because he is also a Pisces sun. Sometimes you just have to let them be. If he is interested in you and then he isn't it is because of the indecision that he has understood that air signs you cannot grasp or control you just have to let them be. Frustrating as it may sound it is the best approach to the situation. Just detach. I realized this and know that this is a complicated thing but that is what these people do they lose interest pretty quickly because they lack consistency a lot of times and make empty promises. You need to not take offense too.

      I am a Capricorn woman and I had to learn the need for patience which doesn't come naturally for me but once I did it made a lot of sense. I know it is tough, my ex had Aquarius Moon was no different. I have a son who is an Aquarius and he doesn't want anything to do with me in a sense that is about attachment. I just have to let it go.

      1. Gd day Ikim, thank you for sharing your viewpoint I valued a lot about what you said (Just detach...let them be). I have a situation where my Aquarius boyfriend of 2 years wanted to think through things and seems like he wants to break things off; this happened after I asked if the jewelry he wanted to buy was an engagement ring..but he said no he never thought about marriage; after a small discussion about why he didn’t think about marriage, he said maybe we need to move on.

        After a couple of days, he asked to meet up talk (which felt like a breaking off) but I have not met to talk yet as I feel this period of October’20 is astrologically conflicting and would like us to have more time to rethink. I was not agreed to talking yet... Incidentally during this time I have reflected a lot on actions which I feel I could improve as a person (reconnected to my hobbies) and as a partner (giving more freedom to Aquarius boyfriend).

        I sincerely appreciate your opinion on what could be done to turn an Aquarius man around (if he thought about break up) and make him want to continue the relationship?

        Thoughts and suggestions are much appreciated! Thank you

  2. Is it possible to have a relationship with the same zodiac sign? I am aquarius and he is also an aquarius man.

  3. I am a Libra woman intensly and immensely in love with an Aquarius man. we've been "friends with benefits" thing for almost 3 yrs now and there has never been a dull moment...not sexually at least. but I have to be honest and say that as a Libra (scale) I need balance in my life..i don't know what to do to show my aqua how I truly feel without scary him away..can you send any words of advice?? plus the way I feel inside cannot be explained in words therefore he doesn't know how much he means to me...hes always the one who comes to my rescue and he's never turned me away or said no when I've ever asked him for anything ,nor has he ever told me he would do something but not actually do it in the end. he keeps his word but he is very secretive and he keeps his own personal life and an that included with it....to himself. when and how will i ever know how this Aquarius really feels about me and about "us"????? I hold back a lot but I shouldn't have to pretend to be someone im not just for him to perceive me as some mysterious woman..i should be able to be honest and open when it comes to all the things that I want in my life,and I want him to know what matters to me in my heart and in my life . I want to love him forever so that he can do the same for me in return.. is a Libra woman and a male Aquarius compatible??

    1. I am a libra woman dating Aquarius male, things picked up pretty quickly between us but he lead. I didn’t do anything but remain consistent really & he started falling for me. Idk if I got too intense but he drew back. Said he wasn’t ready for a relationship. Became distant & inconsistent. I feel shut out & constantly yearning for answers. We have been dating about 6 months now.. idk what to do. I want to express myself but I’m afraid he’ll run further away!

  4. I am a Gemini "dating" an Aquarius Man. Everything listed here is dead on. Exactly how he is. While it's frustrating at times it's also very fun learning his quirky ways. We are best friends. So close. It's very complicated at the same time. Only because I'm a more jump right in kinda gal. I've had to learn alot of patience. My Aquarius fella is the kindest most respectful man I've ever known. A great listener. Very inquisitive yet not nosy. Has the best manners. Just a great human being. Now, if we can get past our huge age difference and his wall, we could be the love of each others lives.

    1. Hi Debbie,

      I too, am a Gemini dating an Aquarius man and agree that the description is dead on. We have been dating for about 6 years, but he tells everyone it’s been 8 years (which is how long we’ve known each other). I find it kinda cute because I guess I didn’t see it as dating, but he did. I think our relationship has worked because it’s mostly been long distant until recently. I am a single mother living in Ky and he is from Knoxville, TN but seems to get bored with jobs easily so he’s switched jobs a few times in these past 6 years. I can’t move my kids around every time he gets bored with a job and I have my own career to think about. He and my son went ring shopping a couple years ago, but still no ring. A piece of me is content because I like my independence, but another piece sometimes wonders... what is holding him back. And I gotta admit, the distance does sometimes make me wonder if there have been other women. I try to focus on what I know and leave what could be happening alone. Besides, it’ll all come out in the wash, right... Debbie?

  5. I have married an aquarius and m libra difficult pair together...😬😬😬😬lots of fights no equal thoughts etc etc...

  6. My husband has Venus in Aquarius, when we were dating, i would sit far away even against the door of the car, i wouldn't let him get too close to me, he liked that,telling me how refreshing it was because all the other girls he dated before us apparently were climbing almost in his lap. He hated that, and thought the girls were gross, For this type of guy, you can't jump into a physical relationship with them, i think they like their women to have high morals, and a girl to make them wait even till marriage. Now these days that's unconventional, hold way back and get to know one another first, he needs to be able to trust you first, and if you are the type of girl that lets her guard down easily with him,then thinks you may with other guys, if you if you come across as the type that does forget it, hell be turned off, but may some may keep you around just for temorary fun, If he is the true gentle man type , he wants a true lady that will not push him, but be one that has his back, also loves an humanitarian, that cares about others, so if you fit this bill go for it, just don't be phony with him, the true you will show thru ,they are very sensitive people and will ick up on your intentions, much depends on his age, and the timing of your friendship. Keep him on a shelf, but don't be intimate with him and maybe one day if its meant to be, it will happen.

  7. My goodness are Aquarius men this difficult to be with? So we have been talking and not that much, I would ask for advise and he would come to my rescue.
    So one day he called for a bootycall which I agreed and things were super great, after sex he was so mean to me that he didn’t allow me to touch him as if he got into a shock or something.
    Since that day I have never heard from him, he would read my text but no response, if I call he doesn’t pick up and it’s so unfortunate for me because I deeply fell for him after being together that night.
    What can I do in a situation like this ?

  8. So iv been seeing this aqua for months now , we met February and talked normally as friends. He has this habit of going off alot on me lets say 2 weeks or some days . Around may he said he liked me which I responded that i liked him too but wasn’t ready for anything serious which he understood but we had a connection. We talked hours on the phone and he would tell me really deep things about himself, he was very open. We were very close and this all took place during the quarantine. After the lockdown in june i noticed he became distance. He stopped calling and we didn’t talk for over a month. He would say its work and all and it really did hurt me. I couldn’t take it anymore and told him I can’t continue being his friend if this is what he’ll do and we stopped taking in August . Fast forward to November we spoke again after he called be and pleaded with me not to leave that we’ve come a long way together and he really cares about me, that i had him everywhere his head his heart and everything. Now he didn’t say he loved me tho but he said he liked me alot which was really sincere knowing him he doesn’t lie so I believed him. He also said he missed me and wanted to see me which i agreed too. We met at his placed , talked a little and i hugged and kissed him . Told him how much i missed him and we kissed for a while , cuddled a litte and kissed again.I told him i loved him and he was silent. I asked him why and if he doesn’t feel the same way and he said no he does but he cares about me alot. Why was it soo had to say he loved me? We kissed again and later had sex but it didn’t last for long. After the sex we kissed and embraced each other and it was so genuine but after that day he became distant all over . This time he only talks to me when i call him and he sounds okay it’s not like he’s avoiding me but he doesn’t call me. Did i do anything wrong? Was it a mistake to have sex? I’m really confused and a bit hurt that he’s not talking to me especially after what happend between us. What should i do? He’s 31 btw

  9. So very sorry about you being so hurt by him cooling off on you that way! Over the years, I have done research about how men cool off this way. Men want mystery, they need time to wonder about you. Period! If you put your self in compromising situations, like being alone in a car with him, or alone with him in your apartment. Human nature will eventually take over and pull you into doing something too soon you may regret later on.

    Imagine meeting a good looking guy that seems really nice to you at first, he seems to have everything you ever wanted in a man, he says he has money, a good job, he says your are beautiful, and he loves you, and later has sex with you, and then find two months later he has been sleeping with two or three other girls while he's seeing you.

    Many of the good men worry about that happening to them too. Working him over, He probably is a dream, and no wonder you fell for him! Especially an Aquarius man.

    My advise is to give him that, if he is truly the man he says he is, give him time as well to see if what he says is genuine.
    A lot of bad eggs in the world so put up that wall of will power God gave you and mean it! Stay safe!

  10. Remember do not sleep with him!,or fool around in other ways. When he backs off emotionally, you back off too. He may be stressed out from work. He doesn't want you to see him that way, and may want some time to center himself for awhile so he can be his best with you later when he feels better. When he becomes distant. Stop what you have been doing and get a new hobby for awhile. You can usually feel him cooling off, when he does Ghost him for a couple of weeks, just do it.
    Make up your mind that suffering this way, is way better than being abandoned by him later. Get a puppy, or something that takes a lot of your attention. Work extra hours, have a life for your self with out him always being the focus. That way you gain your power back.
    When u meet up turn you back onto a loaf of bread if u are in a store. I almost guaranty, you will become fascinating to him all over again. That is if he really does like you. Good Luck!

  11. Hi Sonya! Thanks for sharing this. I am an aquarius woman whom has just begun talking to a fellow aquarian (male). This rings so true. And a lot of the sentiments you bring up are things that I have felt or done previously in relationships. I have yet to find another account so accurate and it was eye opening seeing my own feelings in writing. I think that many of the points you brought up are relevant and try of aquarians (for the most part; it goes without saying that not all people are the same). I appreciate the consideration you’ve given this article, and I second giving aquarians distance and time to process our emotions; we are easily overwhelmed when our autonomy and freedom feel threatened. Thanks!!!

  12. Mutual interest in March text started July hot and heavy, few times per week. Sex in Nov. first meeting. Attentive consistent. This is second time he’s fall’n off. Came back last time. There is a sense I have that I can roll with the distant aloof I have a desire for him to know that I’m capable of giving him what he wants.

  13. He may be already happily married. Just may be bored with his routine and his wife.

    If your looking for a fling, and that is your interest, just go for the easy way!

  14. If this helps at all, i am a true Scorpio sun, Sag Moon, w/a hard square Leo rising, Aquarius 7th House, Gemini 11th house sign, w/Scorpio in Venus.
    But I feel more like how an Aquarius does in relationships? ??

  15. If this helps, I am a Scorpio sun, W/Leo rising, Sag Moon, Aquarius in 7th house. Gemini in 11th house. Scorpio in Venus.?? Can one figure, I feel more like an Aquarius sign?

  16. It is funny but remember Mr Sheffield on the Nanny show, in real life he is an Aquarius man. But on the show, his character depics a perfect example of one type of Aquarius personality. Mr Sheffield, he has this beautiful woman in his company, "Fran Dresher" taking care of his three children.
    She is most frustrated with his cool emotional distance after working beside him for some time. Fran was almost overly patient waiting for him to come around and commit to a relationship with her. After so many years of waiting for him, things began looking hopeless for her.

    She came to her senses, she threatened to walk out and leave, quit her job and friend ship with him all together!.

    That is what made him wake up. "He told her he didn't want to loose her" she getting ready to leave made him change his mind about marrying her.

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