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Feeling Alone In A Relationship (11 Ways To Handle This)

by Sonya Schwartz

When you are in a relationship and your partner stops caring about you, you both stop sharing happy moments together. Also, you stop telling each other secrets, or even sharing your plans. It can be a very depressing situation.

The most horrible part of feeling lonely in a relationship is that you may never know how you got to that point— especially in a long-term relationship where you have been together for ages.

Yes, people fall out of love or maybe get too busy to really care about the details, but no one deserves to wallow in feelings of loneliness because of another. You are meant to have someone who fills the void and shares practically everything in their life with you.

The first step to managing loneliness in your relationship is to accept the truth behind it. Below are 11 more ways you can deal with feeling alone in a relationship.

11 Ways To Manage Feelings Of Loneliness In A Relationship

1. Be Yourself

Be mindful of this; always be yourself regardless of who you are dating, because this will help you connect very well with one another. The more you are yourself and can express yourself to other people, the more you can make sincere and fulfilling connections with them. Being yourself comforts you and can help you not get broken when you’re feeling lonely.

2. Vulnerability

It is risky to be vulnerable but you are human and sometimes, the vulnerability can be a great strength. In sharing a piece of yourself, you combat your loneliness since you are opened to true connection. 

Sometimes, you just need to prove to one another that you both want love, affection, intimacy, and friendship. If you let pride and bitterness rule over you, things will eventually get worse in the long run.

3. Evaluate Yourself

evaluate yourself

If you feel lonely even when you’re significant other is around, it’s time to evaluate yourself so you can trace what happened. Feeling lonely in a relationship is an emotion that is hard to admit. It takes you to look inward and be honest with yourself. 

Focus on yourself, instead of constantly looking external and seeing what the other person is not doing. Most times, people react to the attitudes they receive, so ensure the problem is not coming from your end before you conclude. If you do notice that your attitude or bad habits may have contributed to the distance your partner is giving, it’s time to apologize and make amends.

4. Don’t Feel Guilty

It is okay to feel lonely, it is normal for you to go through such feelings, you are human. So, don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s better to feel it and address it. Meditating also helps here, it helps to relieve you. 

Someone wise once said “Meditation is a process of waking up and trusting the basic goodness of life; what you have and who you are. It’s also realizing that any wisdom that exists, can be found in what we already have.” 

So, rather than wallowing in these feelings of loneliness, try to put more effort into improving yourself and changing the things you don’t like in your life. 

5. Question Yourself

Am I still in love? Why am I feeling this way? When you started dating this person at the beginning, you may have been so consumed by your feelings, you didn’t pay attention to his flaws. So now that time has passed and you have been in a long-term relationship with this man, things start to become clearer to you. 

It’s normal for vibes to simmer down after the first weeks, months, or years of dating. You probably feel lonely because you are looking outward more than inward. One thing you must do is to question yourself and reach into your heart first. Ask yourself if this is a normal stage that will pass or a point where you’ll have to walk away.

6. Let Go Of External Stimulation

let go of external stimulation

When you are bombarded with information and use it for immediate gratification, you may not know how to embrace subtler information of love and satisfaction. To let go of external stimulation, you need to master the art of meditation by just sitting quietly and listening to your mind. 

You can also walk by the waterside or listen to music as you meditate. Most times in your relationship, loneliness starts to creep in when other people’s opinions are constantly in your mind. Find time to sit alone and think about what you want, and what’s best for you.

7. Self-Love

Did you forget you have to continually pamper yourself? You see, before you got into this relationship, you had probably been your own best friend, so why are you hiding behind sadness, loneliness, and fear? 

You cannot truly love yourself or express love for your man or people when you are suffocating when you no longer take out time to love yourself. It makes you more kind, considerate and approachable, which may be the reason your partner feels he can’t connect with you anymore.

So start doing what you love, hang out with friends, and if he still doesn’t come around. Don’t stop putting yourself first even though that means ending things.

8. Don’t Just Assume

Most times, we ladies think men are magical mind readers. When we go through something, we expect them to know by just looking at us. You say “he knows” or “he should know”. You assume that he should know your needs, what you are going through, or what you feel, or what hurts you. 

He is human as much as you are, he doesn’t have mind-reading superpowers. Although your man may look at you and know what’s going on, this won’t always be the case. He may not know what you are going through, and it is when he is aware that he can comfort you or make adjustments to make you feel better. 

9. Talk To Him

talk to him

This is one very important aspect; talk about what you are feeling, communication is key. If you don’t talk to him, he may never know how you are feeling. When you express your emotions and thoughts in a relationship, you will feel valued and connected to your partner. 

So, you don’t have to feel so lonely anymore. Loneliness can make you lose a lot in your relationship if you don't communicate exactly how you feel.

10. Listen

Talk to him, but most importantly, listen. As much as you are talking and expressing yourself, make sure you are listening too. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand, we listen to reply or react. When you listen with curiosity, you don’t just listen to reply, rather you pay attention to what’s behind the words. So make sure you listen to your man first before getting other people's opinions.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

11. Make Sure He Knows How You Feel

You already feel lonely and maybe even abandoned, it will be better if he knows about it. Don’t go through it by yourself and don’t hide it from him. You’re both in this together so express yourself. 

It will lessen the weight you feel when you freely express your disappointments. One thing you must do is to tell him exactly what you want, don't beat around the bush, be very specific about your feelings so you don't get depressed because of loneliness.

FAQs

What does it mean to feel alone in a relationship? 

When you feel lonely in your relationship, this means you no longer feel free with your partner. He no longer cares for you like he used to, you no longer share secrets, dreams, and goals with each other and things are just cold between you two.

Is it love or am I just lonely? 

If you can go to any level just to make sure he is fine and happy, find him perfect even with all his imperfections. If it isn't all about sex and you always want to be around each other, this could be a sign that you love him and you are not lonely.

What are the signs of a broken relationship?

When your basic expectations are not being met or either of you become selfish, your partner may want things to be just his way or vice versa. When you hold grudges against each other and constantly argue about irrelevant things, then the relationship may be broken.

How do I break up with someone I love? 

Before making such a decision make sure you want a breakup, talk to him in person, you must be strong and able to stand on what you want, after the breakup. Take some alone time, give him space, if possible do not communicate with him for some time.

How much alone time is normal in a relationship? 

It is important to have your ‘me time’ in the relationship, but while doing this don't spend too much time away from your partner. According to statistics in every relationship, partners should spend at least 70% of their time together and 30% of their time on their own. This makes the relationship less toxic.

The Bottom Line

I hope you found this article helpful? Feeling lonely in a relationship sucks a lot, it could even gradually lead to you being depressed. If you ever start feeling lonely in your relationship and can't manage the situation, it’s advisable to talk to someone. 

You can talk to a therapist, family member, or friend. Let me know what you think, and please don't forget to share this article with others.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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