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Dating Your Opposite (15 Tips On Dating Your Opposite)

by Sonya Schwartz

"Opposites attract". This saying has been on the lips of a lot of people, but is it really true? Well, some people think that it could be true. While most people believe that dating someone who compliments your personality is the key to a successful relationship. 

Either way, whether opposite or complementary, every relationship requires the necessary efforts and sacrifices to be successful. It is not rocket science.

However, what makes dating polar opposites interesting is that you can be a free spirit, bold, daring, and even sociable. However,  your other half is naturally drawn to things you consider boring and a drain on your energy. On one side, it can be boring because your partner can’t match up to your energy. But on the flip side, it brings a certain uniqueness to the relationship. 

One question still stands though. How do you manage these differences to make your union last? Definitely, you will have to learn how to make the relationship possible and also not make your partner feel inadequate. It may be difficult, but it is not impossible. Below are a number of tips to take into account if you happen to be dating an opposite.

15 Tips On Dating Your Opposite

1. Support

One tip to keep in mind when dating your opposite is to be totally supportive. Support builds rapport and trust and allows your partner to be him or herself. Once you know you are in love with this person, but you two are complete opposites, it will be a good idea to support them despite those differences. 

When you support your partner, they’ll feel more comfortable. This is because you allow them to freely express themselves. And you are also very accepting and accommodating of their peculiarities. This is how the best relationships are built; when one partner completely supports and tolerates the other's individuality, even though they are total opposites.

2. Respect their boundaries

respect their boundaries

Respecting boundaries is not about creating walls. It is more about treating others the way you want to be treated. Also, it is not about being a control freak or excessively manipulative. Respect your partner's boundaries by accepting what they say. 

For instance, your partner may not appreciate being touched in a certain way in bed. You should respect that they do not like that. You ought to be understanding, and treat them exactly how they want to be treated. 

That way, when it is your turn, it would be easy for your partner to treat you better. This is because you set the precedent by respecting his or her boundaries. This creates a good balance, thereby making the connection between you, a healthy one.

3. Challenge them

Dating your opposite is challenging in itself. This is because you both have to adjust to the differences that exist between you. But you can challenge them. For instance, your spouse is a wild child and loves to be the star at every event. He or she is used to hosting parties, while you, on the other hand, are the naturally drawn introvert. 

You love to tuck away in your corner and read from sunlight to sunset. You could challenge your spouse to try sitting still for a while. This way, he or she would know how exactly it feels like to be you. Likewise, you can try going to social events every once in a while. This will help you experience your partner's world. Who knows? You might even love it!

4. Take things one step at a time

If you happen to be dating your opposite, you’ll have to consider doing things slowly. This is a bit contrasting if you happen to meet someone who shares similar interests with you. You guys can zoom off right away. However, as opposites, you are going to have to take things slowly. You might have to spend time understanding their lifestyle.

You might also have to make an effort to know your partner's interests, even though they may differ from yours. You’ll likely understand that your spouse thinks differently, with a different perspective on life. In the end, you’ll learn how to appreciate these different perspectives. All this would require some time, and as the saying goes, "If you rush, you will crush". 

Doing this one step at a time will enable you to build a healthy relationship. Remember that in all healthy relationships, understanding plays a distinct role.

5. Find a common ground

Something else to consider when dating polar opposites is to find common ground. When you find common ground, you can both hit it off from the word "go". Also, sometimes, it may appear that your polar opposite partner has different perspectives from you. But sometimes, despite your many differences, they may subscribe to the same values as you do. 

Your different personalities don’t mean you can’t have the same ideas about a particular topic. At the end of the day, you are both human beings, and even though you may disagree about almost everything, you’ll definitely have a few things in common. And on that common ground, it is possible to build a healthy relationship.

6. Appreciate your individualities

Learn to appreciate each other's individualities. This creates balance. Very likely, you won’t appreciate everything your personality has to offer, and sometimes, your partner (who happens to be your opposite) could have that quality you admire. 

For example, you are the messy spouse while your partner is the squeaky clean person. Obviously, you would envy how neat he or she can be, judging by your messy standards. And as you grow and mature, you might want to take calculated steps to be a clean adult. 

Appreciating their personalities creates a desire in you to learn from them. It is said that the only constant thing in life is change.

As you grow together, you will begin to change. Perhaps, you resisted change because you don't know what to expect.  This is likely if you have stayed in your comfort zone for too long. However, as you live with an opposite, you might start to measure yourself by your spouse. And this starts with appreciating each other's personalities. 

Again, appreciating your partner's personality means not trying to change them to be like you. That would make you the controlling and manipulative partner. No healthy relationship forces change. It would end up making the relationship a toxic one. Change is gradual, and as you and your spouse grow together, you soon realize that for yourself. 

7. Compromise

All relationships require compromise and even more if you’re dating a total opposite of yourself. It can be pretty annoying if your partner wants to always watch the news, while you are the action movie type of spouse. You will have to compromise because that is what makes them happy.

Likewise, they will have to watch action movies with you because that is what makes you happy. This helps to create balance in the relationship. And perhaps, you might realize that watching documentaries and news is not really that bad after all. Even though they admit you may miss the fun the action movies bring. 

8. Be kind

be kind

Kindness may seem overrated in this social media generation, but it is an essential part of all relationships. If you happen to date a total opposite, sometimes, their interests won’t appeal to you. You ought to be emphatic enough not to rub it in their face how much fun they may be missing. This is because to them, that particular hobby is their idea of fun.

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If you cannot be kind to them, it is best you leave them alone, rather than make a mockery, whether playful or serious, of how boring their interests may be. A good approach is to bring up new ideas which align with their ideas of fun. This can make you two a happy couple, despite the fact that you are polar opposites.

9. Get your solo time

The fact that you and your partner's interests don't align does not mean you should give up your interests. That is not how healthy relationships are built. This is because eventually, you will get tired and frustrated because engaging in your partner's interests is not really your time. 

Therefore, find some solo time for you, and perhaps, your friends. Also, try and engage in your hobbies.

Having time for yourself can help you build tolerance and care for yourself better. Never feel bad for taking time out. You matter, and having an opposite should not change that fact. Your hobbies are yours because that's what you love and they make you feel better. They put you in that comfort zone so you can feel relaxed.

You can, therefore, be in a better frame of mind and better appreciate the differences in the relationship. Rather than keeping in petty annoyances until you explode with anger because you have not had the opportunity to engage in anything which makes you happy.

10. Be open-minded

In order for a union with an opposite workout, you have to be open-minded. Discard any inflexible thoughts you may have and be ready to accept your opposite partner as they come.

Rigid and traditional thoughts can ruin your marriage because you are not ready to learn anything new or accept things you are not used to. Changing this mindset will set your union for life. 

This, in the long run, can make you a happy couple. This is because your partner knows that you are accepting of him or her despite you two being opposites. Also, it creates a good balance between you two.

11. Connect with their hobbies

When dating a polar opposite, make an effort to connect with their hobbies on an emotional level. Doing this is proof of love. Obviously, they’re aware that by yourself, you won’t opt for that hobby. However, making this decision showcases your love for them. 

Connecting with their hobbies emotionally means trying to witness whatever makes him or her happy. This can warm your heart, and help you to be compassionate where there is conflict.

12. Give as much as you take

In order to create balance, it is fair that you give as much as you take. It may seem selfish, however, on the other side, it makes the sacrifices you are making worth it. That way, you are compensated for all the efforts you put into making the marriage work. Again, once you receive as much as you give, it helps you to put in more effort. More effort means your chances of becoming a happy couple in the future are very high. 

13. Communication

Communication is paramount in every marriage. In a relationship involving polar opposites, you both may have different perspectives about a lot of things. Bad communication can trigger a lot of conflict between you two. This is because how you communicate to your spouse is bound to affect how they perceive whatever it is you may be telling them. And this can either improve the relations between you or destroy it. 

14. Maturity

Dating a polar opposite requires a lot of maturity. And if you think being mature is not exactly your comfortable area, then it’s best not to date an opposite. Maturity requires you to find an amicable way of reasoning when you have disagreements—rather than making a big deal out of it.

Think about it like this: variety, they say, is the spice of life. I know you would obviously want to date someone as amazing as you are. But the marriage already has you involved (and one of you is enough). Therefore, your partner who is different can add spice to the marriage with his or her peculiarities.

The best way to have a very good relationship with your polar opposite spouse is to be mature. Find new ideas to make your union an exciting one.

15. Expect disagreements

expect disagreements

If you are dating your opposite, you should expect disagreements. This is because you will not always agree on the same issues. Disagreements are common in every union. However, how you address them will ensure whether your marriage will have a future or not.

FAQs

Is it good to date your opposite?

It may be easier to date someone you have similar interests with because you two obviously have similar things you can do. However, you can date your opposite and make it work.

Can opposites work in a relationship?

Yes, they can. But they are going to input practical measures to ensure that the union works.

Can opposites be happy together?

The saying that "opposites attract" is not exactly true. This is because the difference in personality may become very evident over the years. And when children come into the picture, these different mindsets become magnified. But opposites can be happy together if they try to find a common ground and make their relationship work.

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Do opposites last in relationships?

According to sources, it was found out that opposite couples who worked on a long-term project were able to pull it. In the long run, this can improve the quality of the relationship, thereby making it last.  

Do opposites attract physically?

According to a study, it was discovered that people who are single are attracted to people who do not resemble them. But those in a relationship are attracted to those with features that resemble. Per this study, most single people are attracted to people who have opposite features from theirs. 

To Conclude

In conclusion, as mentioned above dealing with an opposite in all relationships requires extra effort. You ought to be willing to put in the necessary efforts to make it works. Some of which include the above tips. 

I hope you enjoyed this article. Comment your thoughts in the comments section, and please keep sharing the article.

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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