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Dating a Passive Man (7 Survival Tips)

Dating passive men can be frustrating, especially for modern women. It can be hard to determine their level of interest. 

Solving arguments can consistently leave you wondering whether he’s just not an aggressive guy that doesn’t want to argue or whether you’ve actually solved something. It can make you feel like kissing him one minute and ripping your hair out the next. 

However, there are some tips that you can keep in mind to find love with beta men and not go crazy. 

Surviving and Thriving With an Unassertive Man

Passive men are known for having a hard time speaking up. They are the definition of beta. You’ll find yourself wondering whether they like you. You might find people stereotyping you as they say that only women with low self-esteem will date a guy like this. However, there are a few ways that you can find yourself happy while with a passive guy. Keep these things in mind during the dating process. 

1. Remember the great things about him

It can be frustrating to date young men that don’t seem to have a backbone. However, there are some wonderful things that come with these men too. Remember that he’s a great guy. Appreciate the lack of arguing, and the incentive to work on healthy communication skills instead of yelling. Women love an alpha male, but there’s something to be said about guys that are the opposite too. 

2. Understand the impact it will have on dating and a relationship

understand the impact it will have on dating and a relationship

One of the reasons why so many successful women don’t find themselves with these types of boyfriends is because these guys are scared to approach women. They might not be the ones to plan dates or reach out, which leads many women to think they are playing games. In the beginning, you’re bound to feel confused, wonder why such a nice guy would play games, and it’s going to make you wonder whether he even wants to spend time with you. 

If you don’t understand that he is simply not an alpha male, it can have a serious impact on your self-esteem. You’ll wonder if he wants to go on a second date, and why he doesn’t reach out. Instead of thinking he’s not interested, simply understand that he shows this in different ways. 

3. Avoid saying he isn’t a real man

Society tends to stereotype both men and women. That’s why we feel that most men will take the lead in relationships. However, that’s not always the case. Some men tend to have more feminine energy than other men. Don’t tell him that real men act a certain way or feed into those stereotypes. From a man’s perspective, a beta guy is often kinder and more of a man than an alpha guy. 

4. Be prepared to take the lead

Someone has to take the lead in the relationship. If that’s not your man, that means that you’ll be the one taking charge. For example, when the two of you need to discuss the finances, you’ll be the one initiating the talk. 

This can spill over into other areas as well. You may be the one to initiate sex most of the time. If there is something wrong, you’ll be the one to want to work through it. It can quickly feel like you're the one doing all the work. Imagine what that will be like for you before deciding if you want to continue dating a person like this. 

5. Speak up

speak up

Not only do you need to start conversations when there are problems, you also need to speak up when something is bothering you. It can be tempting to brush things off when you have a partner that never says when something is bothering them. However, that doesn’t do either of you any favors. Make sure that you tell your man when something is bothering you. 

6. It’s not an excuse to be lazy

Many men grow accustomed to having other people do things for them, especially beta males. It’s because they often find themselves in relationships with take-charge women. These women are more than capable of handling their own lives, keeping men interested, going to work, paying the bills, and managing everything in the household. Beta males are happy to sit back and relax

However, that is why more men are making those “take-charge women” feel like they are in charge of the entire marriage and household. It can slowly breed resentment. 

Accept that he might not be assertive, but that it isn’t a reason to be lazy. He can still pitch in on the housework and with the children. If him not pitching in becomes a problem, the two of you need to have a talk about it before it causes problems in the partnership. 

7. Work on effective communication

work on effective communication

Beta guys are not the best at communicating. However, this is because they often associate communication with conflict. Often, this stems from being in unhealthy relationships in the past.

This is a huge problem for your current relationship, though. When they don’t point out your bad behavior or things that bother them, it can slowly build up inside of them. Over time, they are bound to feel resentment. Neither of you will be satisfied with the partnership. That’s why it’s so important to work on effectively communicating with one another. 

Couples therapy can help both partners. A professional therapist can help your beta partner understand that the two of you can communicate or disagree without it leading to an argument. They can also help your partner feel more comfortable in showing an interest in things, such as date night. There is a medium ground that can help you have a satisfying relationship with a beta male. You two simply have to work together to find it. 


What makes a man passive?

This is often characterized by his lack of initiative. He isn’t the one that calls for another date or starts things in the bedroom. Instead, he tends to hang back and let you make the first move, and all of the subsequent moves after that. He is the opposite of aggressive in every way.

How do you deal with a passive boyfriend?

Focus on communication. Create a safe place where both of you feel comfortable talking about your feelings, and things that are bothering you. Encourage him to voice his concerns when he has them. You also need to accept him for who he is. Understand that beta males don’t turn into alpha males.

What is a passive attraction?

This type of attraction is a theory that states that women tend to respond more to loud signs of attraction, hence why most women assume that quiet men are not interested in them. This type of attraction can also refer to when a person is simply quiet about liking someone or does not actively pursue a person they are interested in.

Is being passive a good thing?

Being like this on occasion is a great thing. It can help you build a positive relationship with other people, and can show that you’re willing to make sacrifices for others. It’s important to maintain a balance though. Being like this all the time can result in you not getting your needs met or you being taken advantage of.

Can a passive-aggressive person love?

They can, and often do, experience the emotion of love. However, they do not become attached to their partners in the same way that other people do. This often stems from an underlying fear of rejection, which makes them fear being attached to another person.

In Conclusion

Being in a relationship a beta man often gets a bad rep. While these relationships might require more work, they can work out wonderfully for both partners. Have you ever dated a beta male? What advice would you give to others?

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