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9 Reasons Why Guys Act Distant When They Like You

Last updated on June 16, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Is your crush acting distant? 

Are you wondering if it’s possible that he actually likes you in spite of this behavior? 

Would you be willing to make a move on him if you were sure he was attracted to you? 

If so, you’re in the right place. This guide reveals the telltale signs that a man likes you and is hiding it. 

However, before you dive into the article, you need to read the next few sentences very carefully.

I wasted time so many years investing into guys who weren’t willing to show they loved me. 

Even when I hooked up with these guys, they’d never want to commit to me. 

I was only ever seen as “a bit of fun”. Nothing more... 

It felt like I wouldn’t ever be good enough to become the girlfriend of a great guy…

Thankfully, I was able to turn it all around...and you can too.  

My dating life transformed when I discovered a little-known aspect of male psychology called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’. 

This is a deeply-embedded psychological trigger, which plays a powerful role in how men feel about the women in their life.

It can be the difference between being seen as “a bit of fun” and a woman worth investing in. That’s how it worked for me, anyway (read my personal story to learn more). 

It’s easy to learn how to trigger this way of thinking in man. 

If you want to make a lasting impact on your crush, click here to learn how the Hero’s Instinct transformed my love life. 

Of course, it may be that your dream guy already has serious feelings for you, even if he’s not showing it. The guide below reveals how he’ll act if this is the case. 

5 Signs That He's Into You But Is Hiding It

5 Signs That He's Into You But Is Hiding It

1 . He looks at you all the time, but discreetly.

If a man is interested in you, he will make sure that whenever he is with you he keeps his eyes on you. He is excited by you and wants to take every inch of you in. However, as soon as you try to meet his eyes with yours, he will look away - he doesn't want you to see that he's looking at you.

2 .  He's protective over you.

Men are protective due to their natural instincts - they want to protect the women they like and be the hero in a situation to impress. It might be clear that he's protective towards you if he gets mad that someone upset you if he notices other men checking you out, or makes sure you let him walk you to your car or your door. He won't be able to control these naturally protective urges, so it will be quite obvious but if you thank him for acting like this, he will brush it off.

3. His body language shows he likes you.

Even if a guy is trying to hide the fact he likes you, men's body language never lies. This is one of the easiest and best ways to tell if a man likes you, even when he is acting distant. Does he mirror the way you sit or take a sip of his drink the same time you do? Is his body always facing you? Does his body tense when you're in his presence? If so, these are all body language signs that he is interested in you romantically.

4. When other people are with you both, they feel the chemistry between you.

If you're hanging out together when you're with other people, can they notice the spark between you both? If your friends are telling you that they can feel the tension between the two of you, or that they think this man is interested in you - it's probably because he is. People can pick up on certain energy, and so if you have a romantic spark with him, they will be able to tell.

5.  He listens to you.

If a man likes you, he will really listen to you and notice pretty much everything you say. You might realize that he remembers things you said to him the last time you spoke, or he knows important details about you that you've shared with him. If he wasn't interested in you, he wouldn't bother remembering these things or properly listening to you.

9 Reasons Why A Guy Might Be Acting Distant When He Likes You9 Reasons Why A Guy Might Be Acting Distant When He Likes You

Now that we've touched on some of the signs a man will be showing if he is interested in you, it's time to get clued up on why guys seem distant when they are interested in you. Being able to understand the reasons behind emotional problems will allow you to come up with ways to help - we will touch on how to help a man open up later on. For now, let's jump straight in and take a look at some of the possible reasons why a guy that likes you is acting the way he is.

1. He Has Low Confidence Levels

One of the most obvious reasons a man will be distant with you when he likes you is because he doesn't have confidence in himself. He won't feel confident enough to take action with regards to how he feels, because he might be scared that you're going to reject him. He will be struggling with low self-confidence if he has been rejected before, has been cheated on, or has never had a successful relationship with a woman. A man without much confidence will try to distance themselves from you if they feel as if they could love you, to avoid themselves feeling the pain of unrequited love if you don't love them back. He might be putting emotional barriers up between the two of you so he can hide and protect himself from being hurt.

You will most likely be able to notice if he doesn't have much self-confidence, as it will probably show in other aspects of life or you might be able to pick up on some of the things he says. He might criticize himself, compare himself to other people or experience problems with anxiety.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

2. He Assumes You Are Taken

A man might distance himself if he likes you simply because he thinks you are already in a relationship, or you are dating someone else. Do you have a lot of male friends or do you have a male best friend that you hang out with a lot? If so, he might assume that you are in a relationship. If you have just broken up with an ex-boyfriend, he might also assume that you're still sorting things out with that guy, and he won't want to intervene. Although this can be extremely frustrating, it's actually a really positive personality trait - you know he isn't the type of guy that wants to break up a relationship or pursue someone who's dating someone else.

There's a pretty easy way to fix this - just tell him that you are single and you are interested in dating him and seeing where things go if he wants to. Obviously, you will want to be certain that he is interested in you before approaching him to tell him this, otherwise, you might find out that you have completely read the situation wrong and he isn't actually interested in you at all.

3. He Doesn't Think You Feel The Same

Many guys are surprisingly fragile - after all, they are human. The guy you're dealing with might be afraid of getting close to you because he doesn't think that you like him back. Although this seems similar to the first reason (low confidence levels) it's undeniably different - a guy can be incredibly confident and self-assured, but he is never going to make a move on someone he thinks genuinely doesn't like him. You might think that you have made it obvious to him that you like him, but men need things to be said to them very literally - they don't get hints very well.

You can help this guy to open up to you and get closer to you by showing him or telling him that you like him. Although you might not be confident in making the first move, you need to do something with a guy like this, or the potential relationship between the both of you will never happen. If you don't feel comfortable telling him that you like him outright, you might feel more comfortable showing him that you like him, physically. For example, the next time you see him, you could lean in to kiss him, hold his hand or give him a big cuddle - maybe then he will get the hint.

4. He Isn't Ready For A Relationship

Sometimes guys will put distance between you and them because they simply feel like they are not ready for a relationship. There can be many reasons for this. This guy might have just come out of a relationship and feel like it's much too fast to move on with someone else, he might prioritize other commitments such as his job over a relationship or he might want to sleep around and date many women. Some guys are just immature.

Whatever the reason this guy has for not being ready for a relationship, he might have shocked himself that he has met you and he has feelings for you, so he might be distancing himself from you until he has figured out what's going on his head. Sometimes, it is best to just leave this guy to figure it all out for a bit, but you shouldn't have to wait too long - he either wants you or he wants other things in his life.

A lot of the time, no one ever feels ready for a relationship anyway - they just kind of happen after you meet someone you really love being around.

5. He Doesn't Want Other People To Know That He Likes You

A man might want to distance himself from you if he doesn't want other people to find out that he likes you. However, if this is the reason it will probably quite obvious - he will only choose to distance himself from you when he's around other people. There are two reasons for a man not wanting other people to know that he likes you.

Firstly, he thinks that his friends will tease him for being in love, and therefore he creates distance between the two of you when he is around his friends. This is incredibly childish, but unfortunately, the truth is that men stay as boys for a very long time, and they act accordingly. There isn't really anything you can do about this, but if he is pretty open with you when it's just the two of you, you could tell him that it upsets you.

The second reason he might not want people to find out that he likes you is a much more serious reason - he might be embarrassed by you. He might think that you're not good enough for him, his family or his friends. You might be very different people, and although he likes you, he might be battling with feeling embarrassed by you. This isn't acceptable at all. You shouldn't give this guy a chance if this is the reason he is acting distant. Whoever you're with should be proud to be with you, not embarrassed by you.

6. He's In A Relationship

Unfortunately, the reason a guy is acting distant could be because he is already in a relationship - this is completely not OK. If this is the reason, you might not know that he is even in a relationship, but you might be able to tell - does he ignore you for hours, or do you notice that every night he goes off the grid? This isn't good, and you might have some investigating to do.

He could be trying to get out of his relationship because of the way he feels about you. However, if this was the truth, then he would probably have cemented a connection between the two of you already, and been open with you about the fact he was currently in a relationship.

However, he could simply be a cheater, and unfortunately, you might be the woman on the side. This is very rarely the case for a man being distant towards you, but it could be the case. If you think this might be the reason why the man you're dating is being distant towards you, you need to know that you don't deserve to be the 'bit on the side' of a relationship and that it's also not fair on this guy's girlfriend. You need to get away - anywhere from him!

7. He's An Introvert

Men aren't exempt from being introverts, and this may be the reason this guy is keeping his distance from you. Introverted people keep themselves to themselves and a lot of them may prefer to stay at home by themselves than plan dates and socialize with other people. Introverts also don't tend to spend a lot of time on their phones or speaking to people, because they prefer to spend their time alone doing the things they like. Introverts are also not really likely to open up very fast, and they may create a barrier between you and them so that they feel protected from having to share details about themself that they may not want to.

Many introverts also deal with differing levels of social anxiety. Guys with social anxiety won't feel like they can hold their own in a social situation, a lot of the time they might not feel interesting or good enough to be in a social situation, and they might be awkward around other people. Social anxiety doesn't just occur when in big groups of people, and someone that deals with social anxiety might even find meeting someone they don't know that well difficult. Therefore, a lot of the time when they have a plan on going somewhere, they ditch it and stay at home. If a man keeps canceling going on a date with you, this is a reason for that.

There isn't much you can do about someone having an introverted personality, you might just need to suggest doing things together that they feel comfortable and happy to do - like inviting them round to your place for food and a night in. When it comes to social anxiety, you need to be understanding. Men normally struggle more than women do with opening up, and social anxiety can make this a lot harder - be there for him and try to be understanding.

8. He's Not Done Dating

Men may act distant with you if they aren't finished being on the dating scene. As much as this guy might like you, he might like a lot of people. He will keep you at a distance so that he can pick you up and drop you when he feels like he wants to. This kind of man isn't looking for love or a relationship, he is just looking to have many women in his life that he can spend time with and sleep with. He won't be looking for any kind of commitment, and just wants to be free.

You can't blame a man for wanting to continue dating, but you can blame him for stringing you along and making you think he liked you exclusively. If you are looking for love, then you need to make sure you stop seeing this person and don't get hung up on them. Men like this usually genuinely don't feel like they are doing anything wrong, so don't be surprised if he doesn't get what he's done and why you don't want to see him anymore.

9. He's Blowing Hot And Cold To Keep You Interested

Some men really think that being distant with a woman is a good idea because it keeps her wanting them. In part, this can be true, and many people like someone more when they're being distant with them, or 'blowing cold'. So, the man you're thinking about whilst you're reading this article may actually be trying to make you more interested in him by walking away or distancing himself from you.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

If he feels like you keep coming back to him more interested in him, every time he becomes distant with you, then he will think that his plan is working. If you think he is definitely using the 'blowing cold' tactic, and you feel that you can be open with him, speak to him about it and tell him that his plan really isn't working. When you tell him this, he may or may not admit to using this technique to make you interested in him, but it's good that you have brought it up. If he is distant after you have spoken to him about this, you might have to take a look at the other reasons as to why he is acting distant with you.

What Can You Do If He Is Distant?What Can You Do If He Is Distant?

If you truly believe that this man is interested in you, and you want him too, you should be as confident as possible and tell him how you feel. A lot of the time, it might help him to be more open if he knows that you have feelings for him. So, even though this might be hard, it's a good idea if you can buckle up the courage. You should be as open with him as possible, and ask him why he is being distant with you. You don't know, he might say that it seems like you're being distant too, and there might have just been a lot of miscommunication! If you start a relationship honestly and with good communication, the success rate of the rest of the relationship is high.

If you have tried everything you can, and this guy still seems to be creating distance from you, it might be time to give up on the idea of a relationship with him. Even though you might be really interested in him, it's time to pull away. You need to stand up for yourself, and if this man can't even show you that he's interested in you, he hasn't given you much choice other than to leave. Don't let anyone make you feel unworthy of love.


What To Do If Boyfriend Is Acting Distant?

If your boyfriend has been acting distant lately then it is important to talk to him about how he is feeling. If he has been acting distant lately and you are not sure as to why he has been acting like this, then give him some time before you talk to him about how he is feelings. It is important to be able to successfully communicate these issues with your boyfriend.

Why Is My Man So Distant?

If your man is distant with you he may be stressed about work or family issues. If this is the case it is important to be understanding and offer your support to him. However, if you don’t know what the reason is, try and talk to him so that you can figure out what the issue is and you can support him and be there for him.

Do Guys Run Away When They Fall In Love?

Some guys, especially emotionally unavailable guys may fall in love and get scared and run away. If the guy that you are dating is scared of committing to relationships then he may run away when things start to get serious. There is not much that you can do to force someone to feel differently about relationships except be understanding.

How Do You Give Him Space And Make Him Miss You?

If your guy needs space it is important to give it to him so that you don’t appear needy or desperate. Give him the time and space that he needs to figure out his feelings and emotions. If you give him the time and space that he needs then he may begin to miss you and realise that he loves having you in his life.

How Do You Know When A Guy Loses Interest In You?

If a guy loses interest in you he may stop planning dates with you, he may stop calling or texting you and stop being physically affectionate with you. These are signs that a guy has lost interest in you or your relationship. You cannot force him to feel differently, but try having an honest conversation with him about it.


I really hope that this article has helped you to understand a little bit more about why some guys create distance between themselves and then women they are interested in. Hopefully, you're going away with some useful information on how to deal with guys like this, and in the future, you will be able to deal with men that have distancing issues in a much better way.

Did you like this article? Let us know in the comments.

How to Finally Fix Your Relationship

Since your relationship is unique, the most important thing is that you use a tailored approach to tackle your relationship issues.

A generic approach with advice you read online can often even make things even worse!

The best way to get this advice is through someone with experience that is able to listen to the issues you are facing in your relationship…

That is why I highly recommend the website Relationship Hero that gives you specialized advice for your relationship.

In fact, a few weeks ago I reached out to them when I was going through an extremely difficult patch in my relationship.

I had hit rock bottom, and couldn’t even turn to my friends for advice anymore.

After speaking to Lucy (my relationship coach at Relationship Hero) and telling her of my desperate situation, she was able to give me some concrete steps to follow over the following days.

I was able to check in with her on a daily basis as I implemented her advice, and she helped me through every step.

Not only was she super helpful and empathetic, she eventually helped me solve some of the issues had been plaguing my relationship for years.

Click here to fix your relationship too!

I can’t thank them enough.

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

3 comments on “9 Reasons Why Guys Act Distant When They Like You”

  1. This article is very great and educative have learnt a lot thanks Sonya.God bless you.

  2. I have really learnt a lot from this article and I now know how I'm gonna deal with such situations in future. Thanks a lot Sonya

  3. So I’ve read this article and I can relate to this very well because I’m going through it right now and it’s hard to understand why he was doing this but now that I’ve read this it makes much more sense to me now and I know what to do if my situation changes or something along those lines. Thank you very much Sonya for this article it’s helped a lot.

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