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Why Doesn't He Want To Meet Me In Person (23 Possible Reasons)

by Sonya Schwartz

So you have decided to jump back into the dating scene, and what better way to increase your options than opt for online dating sites. Now, while the idea of finding love online may still seem foreign to some people, you are not the only one engaging in it. At least, not according to this research, which shows that three in ten U.S. adults have used online dating sites. 

However, there is also the downside to it - like the moment when you realize that the person you are falling in love with is shady.

You may have been texting for a while now, and the communication is great. He has a beautiful voice and seems like the type of guy you will want to start a relationship with, but, there is something off about this person. He always seems to have excuses every time the topic of a physical meeting comes up, and now you are starting to feel like he is avoiding it. 

Now the question that hovers on your mind is, what could be the problem? I am sure that a million and one things have crossed your mind already, but in this article, I will help you narrow it down into 23 possible reasons why he doesn't want to meet you in person.

23 Possible Reasons He Doesn’t Want To See You

1. He Is Shy

When it comes to a physically avoidant partner, the first thought of many is that they are shy. Perhaps, your online lover is having trouble mustering up the courage to meet you in person, so he prefers the comfort of hiding behind a camera. 

Men sometimes have a hard time admitting that they are shy; instead, they will avoid the situation until they feel confident enough to face you. In this case, you should spend more time reaffirming to him your feelings and his fantastic personality as a way to boost his confidence.

2. He Has Insecurities

he has insecurities

Like being shy, a guy who has insecurities is also likely to hesitate to meet you physically. These insecurities can be anything from his looks to his financial situation. He cannot reveal these things to you for fear of being judged, so it's easier to avoid meeting you in person. 

If you suspect this to be his reason, try revealing some of your insecurities to him. This will encourage him to talk about his too. 

3. He Is A Catfish

If you are not familiar with the term catfish, it means someone who adopts a false online persona that does not represent who they are in real life. Sometimes, people do this to target a particular person for financial gains or just provocation. That being said, it is possible your guy is a catfish and is probably someone you know in reality. 

So he refuses to meet you in person to avoid getting caught. He knows you might recognize him and see him for what he is - a liar. I will suggest that you carry out a background check on this guy before investing your time into such a relationship to avoid getting played.

4. He Has A Secret

While some people are excellent at keeping secrets, others are lousy liars, and their best bet is to avoid situations that may expose them. So, they tend to hold their cards very close to their chest and prevent anyone from getting too close. 

A man who has a secret to hide may never want to meet you irrespective of how much of a connection you believe you share. So while he may seem like the perfect guy online and through the messages you share, his secret is worth more than a relationship with you. 

5. He Is Flirting

Not everyone in the dating pool is looking for something serious. While some are searching for a relationship, others are there to have fun and perhaps put their engagement skills to the test. 

This guy might just be engaging in what he believes to be a harmless flirtation with you, but you think he is serious from your end. There is no need to feel stupid. Instead, clarify what he stands to gain from communicating with you and if this is just a game to him. After all, you may both on two different wavelengths. 

6. He Is Living A Double Life

Not everyone on the internet is who they claim to be, and sometimes it's harmless, like when a person photoshops the background of their photo. However, there are the more sensitive cases, like when a person pretends to be something entirely different from who is in reality. 

For instance, the person you are messaging could be claiming to be a man when, in real life, they are female and probably married with kids. This situation can be confirmed through a video call, so ensure that you do not limit communicating with him only through words and phone calls.

7. You Are A Rebound

A guy may not want to meet you in person because his heart is still hurting from his previous relationship. He is probably not ready to move on and be with someone new just yet, but instead of saying so, he chooses to string you along. 

This means that, while he might enjoy messaging you and talking over the phone for hours, you are nothing but a rebound. He sees you as a filler in the space while he struggles to get over his ex-girlfriend. 

8. He Is Showing Off

he is showing off

For as long as humans exist, it is no longer news that people are willing to do many dumb things due to social pressure. In this case, a friend put him up to challenge, which could be anything from how many women he can date in a year to how quick he can get you to fall in love with him. 

I know these may sound ridiculous, but guys challenge themselves to many silly things all the time. His reason for avoiding a physical meeting could be because he communicates with you only to prove a point and show off to his buddies. 

9. He Is Not Into You

When a person is in love, they are always eager to spend quality time with their love interest, and quality time here means physical meet-ups. So when a person who claims to love you avoids these physical meetings, it could mean that they are not into you. 

As much as you may hate to face this possibility of him not being into you, it should not be ruled out. I will suggest that you re-evaluate your situation to see if it is worth sticking around or blocking his phone number.

10. He Is Childish

As you may already know, not every man who is above maturity age or spots a beard is mature enough to handle adult relationships. Some men are quite childish, and it shows in the way they behave and treat women. 

He may love your conversations just as much as you do, but he is merely too immature to meet you in person. There is no use wasting your time with a person like this. I will support you if you choose to block his phone number.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

11. He Is Using You To Get Something

It can sometimes be tricky to know if a man is using you; however, there are sure signs that can point you in the right direction. For instance, though he is unwilling to meet with you, 

he never stops to ask for favors. 

These favors could be financial assistance, information, or asking you to act as a referral. A guy who cannot make a simple commitment of clearing his calendar to see you is someone who doesn't care about you. However, what's worse is someone who behaves this way yet enjoys receiving favors from you. Such behavior is a red flag.

12. He Is Scared Of Losing You

Irrespective of how long two people message or talk over the phone, nothing feels as real as meeting face to face, and this same feeling applies to relationships. This guy may also love you, but he is worried about ruining what you share. He wants to take the relationship slow and is scared that a physical meeting will expose his flaws, and you might change your mind. 

Even if you can't imagine anyone feeling this way about you, it is best not to rule it off as a possible reason why he won't see you. Instead, consider engaging in more video calls than voice calls. This will make him slowly get comfortable with visual conversations with you. 

13. He Is Married

he is marries

Every woman knows they have to always listen to their instincts because they are right most times. So if you feel that a guy is avoiding you because he is married, you should look into it. Some signs that can steer you in this line of thought include his unavailability, he doesn't pick late-night calls, and his feelings are on a roller coaster. 

Sometimes, he seems committed, and other times, he is distant emotionally. It merely means he uses you as a distraction from his marriage but has no interest in taking your relationship any further. 

14. He Feels You Are Out Of His League

Unlike ladies who are more open to dating guys who are richer than them, men struggle. You see, they have an ego to protect and will rather avoid you or pretend to be better off than they are in reality. 

This might be the case of the guy who won't see you, but he doesn't know how to say it. Maybe he feels he will not meet up with your standard of living or engage with your cycle of friends. So, he prefers to string you along without a physical meeting while he works on ways to match up with you on the social class ladder. 

15. He Is Busy

It will only be unfair to think of all these reasons without explaining things. I know he keeps talking about his busy personal and work-life. You have heard it all, and you are sick of it but let's sit back for a moment and think that perhaps, he is right. 

He is probably going through a phase in life where everything is happening simultaneously, and they all hold about the same level of significance, so it is hard for him to sacrifice one for the other. If you have only been communicating for a few weeks, maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt to sort things out and create time for your relationship. 

16. He Has No Intention Of Building A Relationship With You

This is not the first time a guy will feel conflicted about committing to a relationship. He can sense you are ready for a real relationship, and he is not ready to meet you as that may encourage you to want more. 

Unfortunately, his way of communicating this feeling is by refusing to see you. He is probably hoping you get the message and let go. If a guy flakes on you consistently without a genuine reason, it's pretty obvious he is not ready to build a relationship with you. 

17. He Is Unsure Of His Feelings 

Sometimes people prefer to distance themselves when they are uncertain about their feelings. You see, he's torn and debating about his feelings for you. When men are unsure of their feelings, they may come off as hot and cold. 

One minute they are all around you, calling and texting frequently, but they are distant the next minute. In essence, he doesn't want to complicate things further by meeting you. He is worried about starting a real relationship in this state of mind.

18. He Is Chatting With Other Girls

Considering the two of you have never met, I'm guessing you are not exclusive. This means he can do whatever he wants and chat with whomsoever he pleases. Juggling different girls and keeping up with them can be pretty consuming, which could be why he never seems to have the time to see you. 

Furthermore, he is still yet to meet you means you are probably at the bottom of his scale of preference. There is no need to think less of yourself because he has a lot of growing up to do, and you don't have to wait around for him. 

19. He Knows Something You Don't Know

This can seem like something out of a horror movie, but it is possible the man you are talking to is a stalker and not a random person. He might be someone you know, and that's why he does not want to meet you. 

He knows you will recognize him, and that will ruin his plans. Once again, never hesitate to carry out a background check of people you meet on the internet. In recent times, there has been an increase in crimes related to dating apps. Make sure you are confident he is who he claims to be by conducting a background check. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

20. He Lives In A Different Time Zone

Now, the difference in time zones is another shady reason why a man can avoid seeing you even though you may have been chatting for a while. 

Although most dating apps suggest you input your location to enable people to filter accordingly, I have also seen cases where a friend started chatting with someone only to realize sometime into the relationship that they live halfway across the world. 

It's deceptive, and we may never know why people do it, but it happens and could be why he won't meet you. 

21. He Is Broke

he is broke

Whether we like it or not, we live in a society that judges people by what they do and their financial stance. Unlike men, a woman will find it easier to explain that she is not financially stable or buoyant. Men are used to being regarded as the providers, and when they are in situations that deprive them of meeting up with this role, they struggle. 

The guy you are communicating with probably still stays with his parents and is struggling financially. He can't afford to take you out on a nice date or start a relationship, so he is stalling until he gets his financials together. 

22. He Is Embarrassed To Be With You

While there may be nothing wrong with you physically, the guy you believe in having a connection with probably feels ashamed of your style. He has an image of what women should look and act like, and you don't fit into that image. 

The problem is not you and as such, you don't have to change who you are to suit his preference. He is ignorant and unaware that women come with different personalities and styles. 

23. He Does Not Exist

The possibility that the man you are communicating with does not exist is something no one wants to imagine, but that could be why he is avoiding you. When I say he does not exist, I don't mean you have been chatting with the ghost of Hemingway. I mean, someone out there has created a personality and name that doesn't exist to chat with you. 

FAQs

What are the signs a man is interested in you?

When a man is interested in you, he looks forward to spending his time and resources on you. He will call frequently, support you, and make efforts to take you out on dates, and he does all these things because he wants to know you better and start a relationship.

Why does he text me but not talk to me in person?

My first thought as to why a guy would text you but refuse to acknowledge you in person is because he is shy. However, there are also possibilities like him being in another relationship or ashamed to be seen around you. 

How do you make him want to meet you?

Let me start by saying that if a man does not want to meet you because he does not want to be with you, or he is a catfish, then there isn't much you can do besides planning to surprise him with a visit. However, if his reason bothers around his insecurities, you can try to boost his confidence. Another thing will be to give him enough space to miss you and want to hang out. 

Is it better to meet someone in person?

Irrespective of how much time you spend communicating with someone over the phone, nothing beats physical contact. In some ways, it confirms that the person you have been talking to is real, and it helps put a face to your imagination. Beyond this, a physical meeting helps strengthen the connection you share and you are able to support each other better. 

How do you tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you?

Men who are confused about their feelings are inconsistent in their behavior. Sometimes he is friendly and respectful to your emotions, but other times, he is rude and snobbish. Furthermore, some days, he wants to build a relationship with you, and other times, he pushes you away. He is confused about his feelings or living in denial that they exist. 

Conclusion

When a guy refuses to meet you, it is essential to note that this has nothing to do with you, and many women face this as well. However, I hope you enjoyed reading the list and found it insightful. As usual, I look forward to reading from you and make sure you share it with friends. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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