Has your partner insisted that he wants to stop using condoms?
Are you wondering why he would suggest such a thing?
Perhaps he’s given you a reason, but you want to get to the bottom of real truth?
Either way, this guide should help you out. It includes a list of the most common reasons why men try to stop using condoms.
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Contraception can be a touchy subject for some guys, so it’s more common than you may think for him to not want to be completely honest about his intentions.
So, read on for a full list of potential explanations. I hope this helps you get to the bottom of what’s going on.
Table of Contents
While the reality of STDs has made people become comfortable with using condoms, research shows that many people, especially men still that the use of condoms during penetrative sex reduces sensitivity and enjoyment. Here’s the thing, some men aren’t used to having sex with condoms, especially married men.
That’s because it’s not common for married couples to use protection unless they don’t want babies for some time and also don’t want birth control pills. So, if you are dating a man that recently came out of his marriage, chances are, he hasn’t seen a condom in a long time. So it’s not weird that sex may feel less pleasurable since he probably hasn’t been using it for years.
Men are sensitive about sexual matters. From the size of their penis to how well they perform under the sheets, men can be a bit touchy about how their partner feels about their performance in bed. Naturally, men determine how long a sexual activity will last. Once he orgasms, that’s technically the end of the story, unless he’s able to back it up quickly.
So, if you are complaining about not enjoying the parade as much as you want, he might want to suggest the condom is the culprit. Since research shows that some women also complain they enjoy condom-less sex more, your man might just be ditching the condom with the aim of pleasing you some more.
Believe it or not, some men are just careless when it comes to protection during sex. If you recently started having sex with a guy and he’s not all that psyched about using condoms, chances are he doesn’t just care about it at all.
Some men are like that. They just feel invincible or have a wrong feeling of being lucky. So, they naturally feel they can’t get infected. Talk about a contraception method? The withdrawal method just before ejaculation is enough for them. Don’t get caught up in their foolishness. That’s probably how they are with other women. You’ll do well to insist on safe sex.
Okay, I somehow agree to stop for a couple of seconds to slide a condom on to present a "break-in transmission." So, it is not surprising that some guys find it difficult using conforms even if he has one somewhere around the house.
Also if sex between you both isn’t usually planned, i.e your sex is almost always spontaneous and perhaps, in awkward places, using conforms may be a bit difficult for him. What’s more, stopping the foreplay to go and get one may not be too on his to-do list at that time.
Yes, there's chemistry, fireworks, or whatever you like to call it after meeting a guy. You can't be too careful, so you start off the sex by using protection. It’s just the natural thing. It’s not like you feel he’s got any STDs or something. Besides, you don't want to have a baby now, so using a condom is the wisest decision for you both.
However, as time goes by, he’s becoming used to you. Sex between you both is now a natural thing that occurs more frequently without planning it. Chances are, a couple of quickies happen quite often, so it’s now natural for him to ditch the condom.
Yes, your man might start to feel safe with you after dating each other for many months. Sometimes, this point has nothing to do with the time you met each other or started dating. It may not even be because you both took a blood test. People can be negative for Infections today, engage in multiple, carefree sex, and become STD carriers later.
If you don’t trust someone, you may find it difficult to have non-protective sex with them even after dating for a while. However, feeling safe or comfortable sometimes may just be a natural feeling. You know that “it feels like I’ve known you forever” feeling.
The top three reasons people gave for having sex without a condom are increased commitment, trust, and becoming exclusive. It’s easy for men to jump from one sexual partner to another, so when a man ups his commitment level, chances are he’ll not sneak around anymore.
Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.
Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!
If he feels you and in the same boat with him, it’s only natural that he’ll feel like doing what reals couples do and that includes having unprotected sex.
Believe it or not, research shows that many men are more inclined to having sex without a condom when their partner is relatively beautiful. Why? They naturally feel hot or pretty women are “clean, i.e., may likely not have any STIs.
Yes, it’s a false feeling of security but many men fallaciously profile beautiful women as clean. In fact, another similar research from the Kinsey Institute of research shows that good-looking men often assume they are “clean” and hence, feel they are better at determining “clean” women.
Although the yardstick that determines female attractiveness is different among men, it was revealed that good-looking guys are then the highest number of men that equates to women's attractiveness and cleanliness.
Another research shows that men’s decision to use condoms is more influenced by the chances of getting their sexual partner pregnant than the chances of getting an STI. The research revealed that men, both of the younger generation and relatively older generation don’t feel the need to wear a condom after their female sex partners start using birth control pills.
This decision to ditch condoms may also be accompanied by a feeling of being safe. Meaning, once he feels he’s not at risk of having an STI, perhaps he's sure he’s the only one sleeping with you, the only thing left on the worry list is an unwanted pregnancy. Naturally, a birth control pill takes care of the worry of getting you pregnant.
The truth is, people are way too dramatic and judge their relationships based on the use of condoms. A condom is for safety. It doesn’t matter if he’s “clean” now.
When a man starts to make complaints like: ‘I don’t feel close to you enough with a condom.’ ‘Don’t you trust me?’ `We've been together for months’, ‘I don’t feel important to you with a condom between us’ —chances are he’s insecure and that’s making him pack intimacy, trust, and safety into one box.
He’s already inside you, he can get closer than that. If you are not feeling safe or you don’t feel you are exclusive with each other, you should insist on condom use.
Perhaps, at the start of your relationship, you guys have put all the cards on the table, which may include not having any babies until a future date. If he has recently had a change of heart and there are no trust issues between you both, wanting a baby might be an obvious reason to stop condom usage.
Naturally, he should discuss with you that he’s now ready to start a family to see if you are onboard. However, if he’s the one that doesn’t want a baby initially, ditching the condoms without a formal discussion might just be his way of telling you he’s totally ready.
This idea may have been fueled by Hollywood. How many times have you seen Hollywood sex scenes with either party reaching out for a condom? Yes, maybe one or two movies right? Believe it or not, pop culture dictates what’s cool to us, and trust me, we sometimes unconsciously follow whatever the media says.
I totally understand that the responsibility of who should buy and bring condoms to the sex venue has unconsciously been placed on the men in most relationships. This is partly due to the stigma society has placed on women. Many women have complained of being slut-shamed for going around with a pack of condoms.
So, it's not common for most women to buy them from convenience stores.
Sometimes, if there’s no formal agreement to use a condom between you both, your man might just decide to stop because he feels it’s only his decision. He might feel you don’t mind whether he uses a condom or not. However, if you also present a condom before sex, he’ll know for sure you want it as well.
This answer to this question is dependent on both parties in the relationship. Usually, most people start having sex without a condom when they know they are exclusive, trust each other, and are more committed to the relationship. There's naturally no specific time to develop trust or become more committed. It could be weeks, months, or even years.
Many guys have complained that the sensitivity and pleasure are reduced with condoms no matter the thinness. Some say they don’t feel intimate enough. Others say it's a sign of a lack of complete trust.
Whatever the reason, you want to make sure you are being pressured to compromise your safety just because you want to give your partner a sense of being trusted, feel more intimate, or loved.
Some men often liken sex with a condom to showering with a raincoat in relationships. This analogy isn’t true. The simple reason is, couples’ intimacy isn’t all about penetration. It begins most times with kissing, builds up, and ends mostly with penetration.
Naturally, with the right build-up of passion and pleasure from intimate pre-penetrative activities, sex should be enjoyable, with or without console.
Condoms do not take away the fun or feeling derived from sex. In fact, research shows that many people that engage in, oral sex and other pre-penetration activity, enjoyed sex without diminished pleasure, with or without using conforms.
The research further attributed the lack of experience, insecurity, and inability to properly satisfy a partner as the real reason why many men complain about condoms.
It is possible for condoms to cause allergy in those that are allergic to latex. What’s more, condom usage doesn't totally offer protection for unwanted pregnancies because it can break during penetration. Even more, if the right size or texture is not used, it can cause a little discomfort or diminish sensitivity.
Condoms can slightly reduce sensitivity if the right size and texture are not used. However, with the right condom, foreplay, and oral sex, sexual pleasure should not significantly diminish. That said, if you are not ready to have unprotected sex, it’s better to avoid pressure from your partner instead of ditching safe sex.
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