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How to Date Multiple Guys Without Being Shady and Confused?

February 9, 2024

There is absolutely no harm in dating multiple men at once. You want to make sure that you’re certain about the person you eventually decide to commit to, and you’re more than able to have fun while dating. 

Problems can arise from dating multiple guys if you don’t follow a certain etiquette. You don’t want to appear shady, and you certainly don’t want to get yourself confused. 

It’s important to remind yourself that you’re well within your rights, and it’s just a matter of being truthful to each guy and, of course, to yourself. 

Be respectful of your partners’ feelings and allow them the same courtesy to date other people too. There are certain rules to follow in order to remain moral and to enhance your dating experience.

Key Takeaways 

  • There’s nothing wrong with dating multiple men 
  • You’re allowed to have fun while dating 
  • Be honest and clear with each guy that you’re dating

Is It Okay to Talk to Multiple Guys at Once?

It’s completely okay to talk to multiple guys at once, but there is certainly a way to date multiple guys without being shady

Compare dating in real life and online dating. When using dating apps, you will talk to multiple guys before you decide to meet one if not more of them, so why do we feel so guilty when we date multiple guys in real life?

There is a stigma around dating multiple men and in turn having multiple sexual partners and this should not be the case; we should be allowed to have fun while dating! This stigma comes from the idea of unfaithfulness, but you’re not being unfaithful if you’re being clear and honest with each partner. 

Some couples even choose to be polyamorous in order to develop deep and intimate connections with multiple people.

After all, and I apologize for getting deep here, but think about how many people there are in the world. Think about all the guys you’ve ever dated, friends from work, guys from your area, friends of friends, guys you’ve met online… Point is, there is more than one person that is right for you.

You may believe in finding ‘the one’, but most people will typically fall in love three times throughout their lives. 

We’re constantly evolving, growing and changing. 

And think about each person you’ve ever dated, you learn things from each other and you grow together. 

Make the most of dating multiple partners and have fun while doing so, just consider your actions to ensure that you don’t hurt anybody including yourself.

Dating More than one Person Rules

1. Be honest 

be honest 

Being honest and communicating effectively to each partner is crucial while dating multiple men without being shady. 

But of course, honesty is key in any successful relationship, casual or not.

2. Be clear about your intentions

Let’s say you were just dating one guy, but you weren’t exactly looking for a serious relationship, it would be important to make your intentions clear from the get go. 

Likewise, when dating multiple guys it’s important that you make it clear that you’re casually dating other people. You may plan on eventually only having one partner, you may be looking for a bit of fun, or you might even be unsure. Whatever the case, it’s important to be clear from the start.

3. Make sure they’re on the same page 

You may be clear on your intentions, but find that the guy(s) you’re dating are looking for something more. This can complicate things as further down the line you may hurt their feelings.

Making sure you’re both on the same page eradicates any further unexpected complications. It also ensures clarity that you are both able to date other people and are in no way exclusive.

4. Think about what you really want 

Typically you would have multiple partners because you’re looking to have a bit of fun, you’re simply playing the field, or you want to ensure that you end up with the right guy. 

If you’re not exactly sure about what your goal is, take the time to think about it. You might find that you actually want some time to yourself to work on your career, your mental health, or even just to enjoy life alone. 

Sometimes, dating multiple guys is simply something to do. And although you might get many benefits from serial dating, it might not actually be what’s best for you right now.

5. Practice safe sex

pactice safe sex

Dating multiple guys will probably mean that you’re having a lot of casual sex, which is great. 

However, having multiple sexual partners comes with risks and you should practice safe sex.

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6. Have regular STI checks

Even if you use protection every time, having regular STI checks is always a good idea, especially when you have multiple sexual partners. 

It’s never a fun thing having to call all the guys you’ve slept with telling them that they need to get tested. Some STIs will have no symptoms but you can still pass it on to a sexual partner.

7. Be fair 

If you’re dating multiple people, so can the guys you’re dating.

Be fair, and extend the same courtesy. It wouldn’t be moral if you were to get frustrated with a partner for seeing or sleeping with somebody else when you’re doing the same thing. 

If you decide to become exclusive, then of course you are completely within your rights to have a problem with this. This is why communication and honesty are important.

8. Don’t rub it in 

You’re not playing a game, and you don’t need to act as such. 

Don’t rub it in, don’t do anything to intentionally make him jealous as it wouldn’t be fair. 

One or more of the guys you’re dating might only be seeing you. As much as you should be honest about dating multiple guys, it’s not something you should feel the need to bring up often.

9. Don’t talk about the other guys you’re seeing

Similarly to not rubbing it in, try to avoid casually bringing up the other guys you’re seeing. It’s important to be respectful and to simply enjoy your time with each guy. 

For example, if you were out having a nice meal with one of the guys you’re dating, it wouldn’t then be a good idea to start talking about your date the night before with another guy.

It may be inevitable to sometimes mention the other guy's name; if he asks it wouldn’t be wise to lie. But, as a rule it should be avoided where possible.

10. Don’t feel guilty 

As long as you’re clear and honest, you should never feel guilty about dating multiple guys because you aren’t doing anything wrong. 

Usually, you’ll know yourself if you’re being shady, this is why it’s super important to be clear to avoid any complications and unwanted guilt.

11. Be true to yourself 

In any dating situation, you should always be true to yourself.

If you’ve gone into the situation not expecting to find a committed partner and were just looking for a bit of fun, something may change that. 

It’s likely that you could develop feelings for one or more of the guys you’re dating. Upon realizing this, it would be a good idea to cut ties with the guys you’re not serious about and be true to what you really desire. 

You don’t have to commit to the idea of multiple dating because you didn’t expect to fall for any of these guys. Always take the time to reflect on things and to think about what you really want. 

Likewise, if you find that one guy is trying to stop you from dating other people or manipulating you into thinking you’re doing something wrong when you know you’re not, stay true to yourself and cut your ties with him.

12. Put yourself first 

You should come first, always. 

If something starts to not feel right, or it begins to feel unhealthy dating multiple people then you should take the necessary action to do what's best for you.

13. If you decide to be exclusive, be faithful

Being honest about dating more than one guy is all well and good. But, when you eventually make the decision to become exclusive with somebody, it’s important to remain faithful. 

It may feel tempting if any of the previous guys you’ve dated get in touch, after all, you know that you had a good time together. But, at this point you have to treat them like they’re your ex. 

It’s important to be able to snap out of the mindset of dating multiple guys and being able to commit to one partner when it comes down to it.

14. Be respectful of his feelings

be respectful of his feelings

Always take his feelings into consideration as well as your own. 

Treat him the way you wish to be treated yourself and be respectful.

15. Be casual 

This one’s important. If you’re dating multiple guys it’s important that you’re casual with each one of them. 

You may have a favorite, or you may start to develop feelings for someone but still wish to continue dating others until you’re sure. Whatever the situation, you don’t want to fill them with the idea of false hope that you’re looking for something more when you’re still dating other guys.

Only when you’ve made the decision to commit to one person should your actions change toward any of them.

16. Accept that you may get feelings for more than one 

Going into the situation accepting that you may get feelings for more than one of the guys you’re dating is important. This is key to avoiding any confusion within yourself. 

You may still decide to date multiple guys, it will entirely depend on your goals and intentions, but it would be silly to think that you won’t develop feelings for any of them. Catching feelings when casually dating is sometimes inevitable. 

They may be feelings you decide to ignore, or even short lived ones. Regardless, don’t do anything that will cause you future upset.

17. Be cautious 

Catching feelings, or dating in general can sometimes cause us upset, dating can make you feel incredibly vulnerable as it is and if you’re dating multiple guys you’re susceptible to more pain. 

Usually, your situation ships will remain casual and you will be in full control of your emotions, but take caution and ensure that you’re always doing what's best for you, while respecting your multiple partners. 

It’s also wise to be cautious when dating publicly. Although you’ve been honest with each partner, you wouldn’t exactly want to bump into one of the guys you’re dating while you’re out with somebody else.

18. Don’t lie 

If the guy you’re seeing starts to ask questions about the other guys, don’t lie. If this is something that he’s not happy with, the decision will then be if you decide to become exclusive with him or end things, but you should give him complete honesty throughout, especially if he’s asking.

19. Have fun 

have fun

Have fun with it! Make the most of your dating experiences and simply have a good time.

It doesn’t always need to be complicated. If it’s causing you to overthink, be anxious or stressed then what’s the point? You’re dating multiple guys for a reason, and you should be living it up while you have the opportunity.

20. Take some time to yourself

This is the case in any dating situation, whether you’re dating one guy or multiple. Always make sure you have quality time to yourself. 

It can be really easy to tire yourself out socially. Make sure you have alone time, where you can reflect on your week, think positively and practice self-care. Run a bath, go on a nice walk, listen to your favorite music, go to the movies alone, get a facial, or whatever it is that helps you to wind down. 

Self-love is super important, and this stems from taking care of yourself and appreciating yourself. 

FAQs

What is it called when a girl dates multiple guys?

Dating multiple people could be labeled as polyamory, which is typically where you would have multiple relationships at the same time. 

However, polyamory is typically a term used when two consenting adults decide to open their relationship to one or more partners.

Dating multiple guys could be termed as playing the field or serial dating. There are many slang phrases used to label those who date multiple guys. I personally would call it a girl who is having a good time and enjoying being single. 

How many guys is it OK to date at once?

There is no specific number when it comes to dating multiple guys. You could date 2, 5 or even more if you wanted to. 

Ultimately, it just depends on how much time you have. Each guy would realistically get the same amount of your time. I don’t know about you, but I personally would be pretty exhausted having to date all the time. 

Point is, it depends entirely on the individual. Whatever you feel comfortable with, while being able to focus on yourself at the same time, is probably what’s right for you. 
I would suggest starting small, so you’re not tiring yourself too much.

Should I tell him I'm dating other guys?

Absolutely. Telling him you’re dating other guys is key to making this work. If you weren’t exclusive and made no notion that you’re looking to progress a relationship with him then technically speaking you wouldn’t exactly be required to tell him as you wouldn’t be doing anything wrong. 

That being said, clarity is important and the more straightforward you are, the less problems you’ll encounter along the way. He may think that although you’ve not said in so many words that you’re looking for a future together, that this is where your relationship is headed. When he then finds out you’re dating other people it puts a spanner in the works that could have been avoided from the start. 

Conclusion

Dating multiple guys can be a lot of fun. You’re never too old to play the field and to simply have a good time while dating. 

Be respectful to each partner and be honest about your intentions to avoid any unwanted complications. 

You may come across something unexpected, whether it’s a development of feelings for one or more of the guys, you may decide you don’t want to date anybody or you may reflect on your multiple dating experience and choose that you wish to continue serial dating for the foreseeable future. 

Whatever happens, put yourself first and do what’s best for you, always. Take some time to yourself and simply make the most of your experiences.

If you have any advice then please feel free to comment, and as always, share with a friend in need. 

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