Like working environments, experiencing burnout can be found at home, when you spend time with your partner and find little enjoyment from it.
Maybe your partner was once able to spark interest and joy in your life, but you now rarely have positive reactions to what he or she says or does. You are just completely burned out from how much work you put into the relationship!
It happens. Look for the signs of relationship burnout when you are with your loved ones. If you see the warning signs, you will want to take some action to make things better and life easier! It might be slow progress if you are to the point of speaking ill of your partner every chance you get, but you can repair your relationship with a few key actions.
If need be, you may have to end the relationship and look for someone new. There are plenty of potential mates out there that will bring you more than a little joy in your life. Having the right partner can reduce stress and improve your mental health. If you’ve stopped talking to one another and don’t care about your future plans, it’s time for a makeover or to end things!
Table of Contents
Relationship burnout occurs with physical and emotional exhaustion in romantic relationships. Like your job, just the long hours of spending time on relationship work - hashing things out or exerting emotional energy - can make for overwhelming and stressful days. This can lead to a strong negative reaction in the relationship department as you see dwindling motivation!
So, how do you know if you have relationship burnout in your personal life? Think about your previous relationship time, the time you have spent, or the emotional energy exerted to make the relationship work. If your last relationship caused a great deal of negative energy, you probably weren’t keen on entering the dating scene when the time came. Being alone sounded nice.
Fast forward to the next relationship. You now may have limited physical intimacy because of relationship exhaustion. Maybe the bad moments come because of the same reasons as your previous relationship, causing external pressure that most relationships don’t have. Relationship burnout can easily happen to anyone; you aren’t alone in this! You will survive, though!
We’ve covered what relationship burnout is and the signs that you may be going through relationship burnout. What now? It’s important that you have steps to take if you realize this is what is happening in your relationship. You’ll want to follow these steps in order for the most effective solution to this problem. Watch how things can change in your relationship now!
Identify if you are going through relationship burnout. You will know if you are experiencing the signs of this problem. Plus, if you are having a burnout session, it’s time to take action and resolve things. Remember that you are doing what is best for you AND your partner; this isn’t a selfish action that you are taking.
I know this is always an uncomfortable conversation to have with a loved one, but you must if you are going to keep your sanity. I mean, let’s face it, you are dealing with relationship burnout, and the options are pretty bleak. It’s better to discuss what is going on than to ignore the problem or for it to get worse.
As you approach this difficult subject, it might be smart to explain what you are feeling, experiencing, and going through. You never know; your partner may feel the same way!
Now that you have recognized the problem, talked to your partner, and explained what relationship burnout is, it’s time for the tough talk: Solutions! Maybe your partner knows of something that the two of you can do to resolve this issue. Two heads are better than one, right?
It might be time for the two of you to take some time apart. This is never a fun option, but sometimes it’s for the best. If you have some time alone, you might be able to come up with some solutions to your issues. Why are you feeling burned out? What has brought the two of you to this point?
With some time away from your partner, you may be able to assess exactly what was burning you out. Did you spend too much time together? Did you fight all the time? What was your physical chemistry like? Were or are things TOO physical? If you are lacking an emotional connection, you may feel used or physically exhausted!
Some alone time may just bring you the answers you need to address this issue. If you aren’t sure how to ask for some alone time, I will cover that in the next section so that you will know exactly what to say to your partner.
What would the two of you love to do together that you have never done? Consider going on a road trip, hitting a local comedy club, or going to an amusement park. Go sightseeing in your area and pretend you are a tourist for a day! You could have a lot of fun if you just pretend it’s the first date or that the two of you just met!
While I don’t recommend neglecting responsibilities, anything that the two of you dreaded doing, you should try to avoid. If you always drive around the block after dinner, take separate cars and meet at the restaurant. Shake things up and do things a little differently to add some spice to your lives!
If you have taken quality alone time, you should be able to count your blessings now. Think of all the reasons you fell in love with your partner in the first place, and go ahead and let them know all the great things about them!
Check out the book about the five love languages and explore them together. Learn what makes your partner tick! Ask your partner to do the same for you. If he or she cannot read the book for whatever reason, explain what you believe your love language is so that he or she can try to love you the right way, too.
Now that you know your partner’s love language, you can love them the way they need to be loved. For example, if your partner loves to have physical touches, give him or her a back rub! Working on your relationship won’t seem so trying if you know what your partner wants and needs! There will be no more guessing games!
Holding on to grudges or harping on the past mistakes your partner made will not do your relationship any good. If you want to see success, make sure you focus on the present and what is in store for you in the future.
According to Psychology Today, it’s important if you are going through relationship burnout, to develop new rituals and routines together. Try riding bikes around the block or going to the library to read books. If you shake things up, you might find a new love for your relationship, and it won’t seem like such work anymore!
Now that you have addressed the problem and found new ways to love your partner, you can create new memories that you will forever cherish together. Make a memory album of the great times, and you’ll forget all about the relationship burnout you once had. Focus on the future and the good things that are in front of you.
It can be difficult to explain to someone that you just need some time to yourself. They might take it offensively if you are in a serious relationship or marriage. They may think that you don’t love them anymore and find them annoying or obtrusive. So, what can you say to not hurt their feelings, but also explain that you just need a little alone time to read a good book?
One suggestion I have is to express your need for some time by yourself in a nonchalant way. You can hint that you need alone time without actually saying that. You might say, “I cannot remember the last time I just sat down by myself and read a good book.” Say it in a tone of amazement, like you just all-of-a-sudden realized this! They will understand your needs.
If they don’t get the hint, you could just say that you are going to head to the other room for some quiet time, but you are excited to watch a movie with them as soon as you’ve read a chapter. That way, you are explaining that you just want some peace and quiet to read part of a book but still want to spend quality time with your partner, perhaps during date night.
Relationship burnout can be completely normal if you are with a high-risk/high-reward person. That means that you put a lot of work into the relationship, and perhaps you are feeling overwhelmed right now, but there is a great reward at the end of the tunnel with this person!
With relationship fatigue, you are tired of everything. You are no longer excited about the relationship you are in because of how much work it is! Trying to resolve issues might be feeling ineffective as all you do is argue, fight, or have some other negative emotional reaction!
Sometimes, the future makes the best and most meaningful place to start. Take a break from where you currently are in your relationship and regroup later. Some time away from one another can do your relationship a world of good! Don’t give up hope just yet!
If you no longer want to date people, attractive new hobbies or interests may be right up your alley. You just need a break from people and the dating world. Enjoy nature or adopt a pet from an animal shelter. Volunteer your time and energy, join a sports club, or take a night class.
Looking for something better somewhere else is a clear sign that you are no longer in love with your mate. If just the thought of spending quality time with your partner leaves you with a queasy feeling, he or she is not the right person for you at this time.
How have you been affected by relationship burnout? Are you in a relationship but tired of your partner? What is your best solution for relationship burnout? We’d love to hear your thoughts and comments! Please share a message, and don’t forget to pass this article along on social media!