If there’s one character flaw that can destroy any relationship, intimate, platonic, or professional, it’s pride. When one person starts to see themselves as the most important or valuable in the relationship, things can go horribly wrong. This is because a healthy relationship should be beneficial and not toxic.
Both parties have to learn values like good communication, trust, mutual respect, and compromise for things to work out. However, if one person has an elevated view of himself or herself, then a lot of things are bound to fail. Reasoning with a prideful spouse may only bring conflicts and maybe even resentment.
No one wants to feel like the second fiddle or the less important person in the relationship. And because pride demands attention and utter respect, that’s bound to happen.
Do you feel that either you or your spouse has too much pride that’s affecting the relationship?
It can be confusing to figure out if you are a prideful person, especially if you have been that way all your life. It’s equally not easy to figure out when your partner has crossed the line from bold and confident, to proud and condescending. So, before you keep defending or managing bad behavior, here are 11 sure signs of pride in a relationship.
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A prideful person will refuse to recognize any bad behavior. In fact, if you or your spouse are proud, there will be a conscious effort to shift the blame whenever there is an issue. No one will want to accept that they did or said anything bad. Rather, you’ll both put on a defensive attitude and prefer to blame everyone else for your problems.
In this case, it’s important to realize that it’s okay when you’re not right every time. Sometimes, just sit and relax knowing you didn’t get it right. This action may even make your partner put down his guard as well.
A prideful person won’t recognize when it’s time to back down. Even when all the chips are against them, they'll still try to win the argument. That’s because pride does not like to lose. Plus, if you are a proud person, you won’t like to lose. That inflated ego will take losses very negatively. That’s why sore losers are usually people with a lot of pride.
If this sounds like you or your partner, maybe it’s time to see a professional who can help deal with the deep-seated issues causing such inflated pride.
Pride is one of the main reasons a partner will constantly try to find faults in their spouse. The reason is simple, the more imperfect the other party is, the more perfect you or your partner will feel. For example, a mediocre painting will only make an average painting look better. So, pride could push your partner into finding faults in everything you do.
Nothing will seem perfect, not because it’s not, but because his pride won’t let him admit that you are doing a good job.
Fault finding is only the tip of the iceberg for someone who struggles with pride. Such a person may also find it hard to show proper regard as well. Do you find it hard to respect your partner's decisions? That’s pride at play. Does your partner underrate everything you do? That’s pride as well.
When there's pride in a relationship, both parties will find it hard to regard each other. Both parties will take decisions without the other's knowledge, talk to them in a derogative way, and disrespect their opinions.
Pride can make anyone feel assaulted or attacked even in the most innocent sentence. A simple compliment may be seen as mockery or a jab at them. So, if you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner, that may be a sign of pride as well. The truth is, most prideful people are sensitive as well.
When there’s pride in a relationship, both parties will find it hard to apologize to each other. Even when they can clearly see you are hurt by something they said, they would rather overcompensate in another area than say sorry.
You’ll find such people buying gifts, taking you shopping, or being extra nice after they have wronged you. They would just rather do anything else than apologize when they are at fault. In this case, it’s best not to give in when they are trying to be evasive, kindly ask for an apology, and point out the pattern in their behavior.
Pride in a relationship can be very dangerous. That’s because pride requires us to feel and look better than others. That’s why your partner may not mind lying just to defend his ego. If he admits he is wrong or tries to apologize, that makes him feel less than you at that moment. So, he will rather let pride rule and lie about things just to avoid being the wrong one.
This is a very negative trait because lies can be very dangerous and vicious. Plus, once it turns into a habit, it can be hard to stop.
When there is pride in a relationship, one or both parties may find it hard to forgive. That’s because when a prideful person’s ego is bruised, it’s hard to get over it. Maybe they feel belittled by a statement you made or embarrassed by something you did. It will take days before the affected party speaks comfortably again.
Plus, they will probably wait for a befitting apology before they start relating with their partner again.
Does your partner keep malice with you? Then sometimes it’s best to point out that they are acting childish in the sweetest voice ever. There are times you shouldn’t apologize as this will just water their ego. Also, rather than talking to them one on one, maybe send a voice note or leave them a letter instead.
Once pride enters a relationship, there will always be natural disagreement. Even when the other party has an opposing idea, the prideful partner will always insist on their way. When you simply disagree with what they have to say, they may go on to make decisions without you. That’s because a differing viewpoint is a threat to their ‘sovereignty’.
If you keep finding fault in their decisions, they won’t discuss issues with you anymore. And the truth is, even when they realize you were right, it will be a hard thing to admit.
Prideful people have an elevated view of themselves, so sometimes it's best to let them put their feet in the fire a few times without intervening. They may learn on their own that relationships require compromise, mutual appreciation, and value for each other’s opinions.
A prideful person expects their partner to treat them like a king. Such a person will feel insulted if you don’t rub their back, serve their food, open the car door, or do their laundry. They will go into every relationship expecting the other person to water their ego and treat them like royalty. This can be hard on the other partner who also deserves some pampering.
That’s because prideful people are mostly takers, they will only start seeing the selfishness in their actions once they overcome pride. Such people will keep finding fault in everything you do because their bar of expectation keeps climbing higher each day.
A healthy couple shows respect to each other. They don’t feel the constant need to show they have a better idea. Such a person won’t mind arguing to the finish and may get angry and abusive when things don’t go their way. Even worse, a partner who is proud can be manipulative as well.
They may use different tactics to make you feel like they are doing you a favor. They won’t stop mentioning how amazing they are and how grateful you should be to have them. Even when you are not their spouse yet, they’ll go on about how you may never find another person like them.
When you start feeling like your needs, wants and desires are more important in a relationship, then you have probably given way to pride. Pride is a negative emotion that inflates one party’s ego and makes them unreasonable to everyone, even their spouse.
A proud person won’t admit when they are wrong, won’t take no for an answer, and will have way too many expectations. Such people will hardly apologize when they do something wrong but will expect an instant apology whenever they sense unfair treatment from their partner.
The first essential tip to dealing with pride is to be aware of it in the first place. If you are the prideful one, the first step to change is accepting that there's a problem. Once you start to give less respect to your partner, then it’s crucial to start checking yourself.
It may take a while to work on yourself, but now is the time to read more books on how to handle this behavior, and ask for help from your partner as well. If your partner is the one that’s prideful, then you have to tell him the truth. Let him know how it affects you and how damaging this behavior will be to your relationship.
Pride paralyzes relationships. It creates a huge gap between the couple and can destroy the trust, friendship, intimacy, and peace between them. Plus, pride grows and develops into other nasty habits and behaviors.
A partner who is prideful will not care if he/she hurts you or not. They will prefer to stand their ground even when they are wrong, just to keep watering their ego. At some point, it will seem like they are the only ones in the relationship because everything will be about them. At this point, the other person will feel ignored and unloved which could potentially ruin the relationship.
When someone exhibits heightened self-love, admiration, worship, arrogance, and disdain for others, such a person is prideful. The way they view life would be different, and this will show in all their relationships.
No one will really be able to talk to them, not family, friends, or colleagues. Even if they are silent or pretend to be respectful, their actions right after could show their pride or humility. Plus, prideful people hate criticism, won’t admit they are wrong, don’t like to be looked down on, and are very condescending.
It may sound contradictory, but most people who are proud actually suffer from low-self esteem. They are constantly insecure, afraid, or feel unworthy, hence the need to oversell their worth.
People who have felt small, overlooked, unloved, or powerless in the past are more likely to develop a superiority complex. That constant desire to be seen, praised, and respected at all times usually stems from a deep place of hurt or the fear of being vulnerable.
Being prideful does not only affect the people around you, but it also affects other relationships as well. That means if you or your spouse are proud, you may end up burning the important bridges in your lives.
Remember, pride usually stems from a place of hurt and negativity. So if you recognize any of these signs in your relationship, it’s certainly time to address them and kick-start the journey to self-healing.
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