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Is My Husband Gay? 10 Alarming Signs He May Be

by Sonya Schwartz

Are you worried your husband might be gay?

Is he showing some behaviours that are leading you to question his sexuality? 

Maybe you think he’s already cheated on with you with another guy!?  

If so, you’re in the right place. This article details 10 alarming signs that your husband might be gay, and what you should do in that situation.

However, before we dive into this guide, it’s important that you read the following few sentences carefully. 

If you’re worried that your husband has cheated on you, the first thing you should do to address the situation is to find out the truth.

In many cases, it’s unlikely your husband will share this with you, regardless of how you confront him.  

That’s why I wanted to share this powerful online background checker tool with you. 

It’s a discreet tool, which can provide a huge database of information regarding your husband’s  recent communications. 

You can discover what apps he’s been downloading, what websites he’s signed up for and who he’s been regularly communicating with. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. 

If your husband does have gay tendencies, this tool is likely to reveal some undeniable evidence.

With this evidence to hand, you’ll be much better prepared to handle this situation. 

The guide below will help you realise whether you’re right to be suspicious and what to do if he is gay.

We're going to take a look at the signs that might be showing if your husband is homosexual, some of the issues this will cause between you, as well as what you should do about it if you are concerned he is and how you can deal with it emotionally.

10 Alarming Signs Your Husband Is Gay

1 . He Is Extremely Outwardly Homophobic

It might be surprising to know that if your spouse isn't straight, he might actually display extreme homophobic behavior. He will show signs of disapproval towards gay men and gay couples, as well as be particularly vocal about how wrong homosexuality is. He might even get aggressive towards gay men or shout verbal abuse at them. This is a sign that you're husband isn't comfortable with his own sexuality, and he is trying to repress it. He might also be trying to mask the fact he's gay, by showing his discern for it. This is one of the most obvious signs of repressed homosexuality in men.

Of course, he could just be straight and genuinely homophobic - is this really someone you want to be with anyway?

2 . You Notice Him Looking At Other Men

2 . You Notice Him Looking At Other Men

An obvious sign that your husband could be gay will be if you notice that he looks at other men a lot. You might notice that your spouse stares for just a little too long at other men around him, or looks at them in a particularly seductive manner. You will be able to tell if he's looking at other men around him merely as an observer, or if he's looking because he likes what he sees. If you ever bring it up while he's doing it, he might get flustered, or try to brush it off quickly and move on, hoping you won't be able to tell.

3 . He Focuses On The Man When He Watches Porn Or Watches Gay (Male) Porn

If your husband is gay, it will reflect in his pornography choices. You might be able to notice that he always has his focus on the man if the two of you watch porn together, or maybe you have found gay pornography on his search history. If your husband likes to watch male gay pornography, it's definitely a sign that he's gay. Some people might watch gay porn once or twice, just because they are simply interested or they are experimenting. However, if you know that your husband frequently watches gay pornography, it's a concern.

4 . He Spends A Lot Of Time With Men

If your husband spends a lot of time with other men, it could be that he's just a real man's man, and has a lot of male friends he wants to hang out with. However, if your husband is seeking out male company, or joining certain clubs or groups that are specifically for men, it could be a sign that he is gay, and wants to spend a lot of time with men or a certain man, away from you.

5 . He Asks For Anal Sex From You Or Wants To Recieve It

So many people have different things that they like to do in the bedroom, and one person's sex life will be completely different from another's. Some men enjoy giving anal sex to their partner, and others might enjoy the kink of receiving anal sex. However, if you notice that your partner always wants to be penetrated, then it could be a sign that they might be imagining that you are a man because they are gay. Having frequent anal sex definitely becomes a concern when you aren't having any vaginal sex anymore, and it could be a sign he's gay.

6 . He Isn't Sexually Interested in You

6 . He Isn't Sexually Interested in You

Another sex related sign that your husband is homosexual could be if he isn't sexually interested in you at all. Do the two of you have a relatively healthy and regular sex life? Or are you left unfulfilled and feeling rejected? If your spouse is gay, he won't want to spend endless hours having sex with a woman (or any women) because it just won't get him excited. So, if you're not having sex, or it happens rarely, it could be because he isn't interested in heterosexual sex.

7 . You Have Found A Gay Dating App On His Phone

This sign seems pretty self-explanatory and probably the most obvious. If you find a gay dating app on your husband's phone, or see a gay website on his search history, it's a clear sign that he's most likely gay. If you ask your man about it, he might try to lie and make a joke about it, but no one goes on a website like that for a laugh - he was looking at other men on there.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

8 . He Tries To Impress Other Men

If you notice that your husband spends a lot of time trying to impress other men, show off in front of other men or look good in front of other men, it's certainly a sign that he could be gay. Of course, a lot of men try to be alpha males when they are around other men or feel intimated by a more masculine guy, but there's a distinct difference between your partner trying to look like more manly, and trying to impress other men.

9 . He's Secretive About Many Aspects Of His Life

You might notice that your man is particularly secretive about some aspects of his life, and you might even feel like you don't really know him. He might hide his phone from you, or lock it whenever you're around. He might sneak out of the house or lie about going away for conferences. He might spend a lot of late nights at the office.

Usually, this is a sign that your husband is cheating on you, and this very much could be the case - he could be cheating on you, with other women. However, if you find several of the other signs to be ringing true, and his behavior's sneaky, it could mean he's gay.

10 . He Is Effeminate

If your husband is effeminate, it doesn't necessarily mean he's. The characteristics someone has doesn't determine their sexual orientation. But, if you and other people around you notice that your husband has a very feminine personality or has 'camp' characteristics, and he's showing some of the sign mentioned above, he could be gay.

If You Think Your Partner Could Be Gay, What Should You Do?

If You Think Your Partner Could Be Gay, What Should You Do?

Talk To Him

One of the most important aspects of a relationship is good communication. If you suspect that your partner is gay, the best idea is to speak openly and honestly with them. They will no doubt be finding it difficult to come to terms with themself, so tread carefully when you speak with them. Hopefully, they will reciprocate your calm and honest way of speaking and open up to you. However, do be aware they may still be in the denial stage.

Other issues could be going on in the relationship if your partner is in fact straight, but showing these signs, so even if your partner turns out not to be gay, it might be useful to air out any of the issues you think you're having in your marriage.

If He Is Cheating On You With A Man - Find Proof And Confront Him

Thinking that your partner is unfaithful is horrific, regardless of whether your spouse is into women or men. So, if you think your husband's cheating on you, it's vital that you find proof before you confront him. You might want to take a look at his phone, search his internet history, take a look at his social media or try to catch him in the act. If you want to confront your man for cheating on you with a gay man, it's crucial that you have proof - otherwise, it's too easy for him to deny it.

Confide In Someone You Trust, Or A Support Group

If you're finding it really difficult to deal with the fact that your partner could be gay, it can be useful to speak to someone else about it. You might want to confide in someone, and it can be a good idea to. However, make sure you confide in someone you really trust with this information, otherwise, rumors could be spread, and you don't want your partner to be embarrassed or hurt. If you don't have anyone you feel like you can confide in, or you would feel more comfortable speaking to strangers in the same situation as you, you could find a support group. There are several support groups out there that deal with this issue - either online or in person. In these groups, you will be able to speak to other women, and men, about the issues you are facing.

If Your Partner Does Come Out As Gay Man, What Does That Mean For Your Marriage?

If Your Partner Does Come Out As Gay Man, What Does That Mean For Your Marriage?

If your partner does come out as a gay man, you might feel extremely confused. You will probably ask yourself a variety of questions, including - why did he get into this marriage in the first place? First, you need to remove this question from your mind. Although it might feel like your partner has betrayed you and you have been living a lie, do not get too hung up about the fact your partner didn't realize he was gay sooner. You have every right to ask your spouse this question, but you need to look at the future, not the past.

It's completely up to the two of you what you decide to do with your marriage. Some couples facing this situation will choose to stay together, and this might be an option for you, especially if you have children that he's the father of. If you do choose to stay together, you need to set boundaries and set the tone of the relationship. For example, will you tell your children? Have sex with other people? Will you tell your friends and family? You need to look at all of these things together if you are choosing to stay in the marriage.

If you decide that you can't stay together because of your husband's newly discovered sexual orientation, then you should leave your husband. Don't stay in a marriage that doesn't make you happy. Both you and your partner deserve a second chance at love, and you deserve a man dedicated to loving you.

If Your Partner Does Come Out As Gay Man, How Can You Deal With This Emotionally?

If your spouse has confirmed to you that he is gay, it's not only difficult for your marriage, but it will also be difficult for your emotions. You will probably experience a lot of confusion surrounding the situation. You might feel rejected, lied to, betrayed or even to blame. You may feel it's best to sort out the relationship status before you sort out your emotions, especially if you have children with this man, but it will probably all come crashing down at once. We're going to take a look at a few ways you can help yourself and your emotions in this situation.

1 . Take Time For Yourself

The first really vital thing to do is take time for yourself. When things get intense on our emotions, the best thing to do is to take some time out of the stressful situation. When you find out your partner's gay, you don't have to feel like you need to figure it all out straight away. At the end of the day, he waited long enough to come out to you, so you can wait to tell him what you want to do about your relationship. Take some time away from this man and try to rationalize the situation you are in, no matter how difficult that might be. You may then return to this man with a better idea of how the two of you should move forward.

2 . Understand You Are Not To Blame

In a situation like this, you might feel like you are responsible for somehow turning your spouse gay. You might question if it was the way you have sex, your personality or your looks. There's one thing you need to know - it was none of this. You had nothing to do with your partner coming out as gay. Women don't turn men gay - you didn't turn him gay. He's just gay, and maybe he has always known that, deep inside. Don't blame yourself for this, and especially do not punish yourself for not realizing it sooner.

3 . Show Yourself Love

Regardless of whether you decide to stay with this man, or leave this man, it's crucial that you show yourself some love. You need to shower yourself in love after any difficult time, but especially in one where you feel like you have lost love. Pay yourself more attention to what you usually do, and look out for yourself as you would a friend. Understand that you are vulnerable at this time, and put yourself first. In addition to this, if you have decided to move on, the only way you will attract the right partner is if you fully love yourself - it shows.

4 . Talk To Others

It can be useful to talk to other people about the situation you are in or have been dealing with. You should speak to those that are closest to you and those who make you feel the most comfortable so that you can fully express the way you feel without being judged. It's useful to speak to women who have been through the same, or similar issues. The old saying, "a problem shared is a problem halved" really is true, so open up if you feel like it will help.

Conclusion

So, what do you think? Is your partner showing several of these signs? If he is, and your instincts are telling you that he is gay, it could be because he is. If this article has made you come to terms with the fact your husband is homosexual, then I hope you might be able to understand it a bit more, and possibly how to deal with it better. This is a really difficult time for you, but stay strong and understand you are not alone in dealing with this situation - there are more women than you think out there dealing with this.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Did this article help you? If it did, and you liked what you read, please let us know in the comments.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

4 comments on “Is My Husband Gay? 10 Alarming Signs He May Be”

  1. My husband will put on G-strings occasionally. I saw it but he still denied!
    He Also shaves pubic and anal area. And takes laxatives at times.

  2. I told my wife before we married that I liked dressing as a woman & that I wanted to take female hormones & try sex with a man. Well, my wife came home early from work & caught me dressed as a woman with full makeup, nail polish, pierced earrings & plucked eyebrows, on my knees between a guys legs, performing oral sex on him, she acted surprised by this, I never lied to her, as a matter of fact, I was completely honest with her, so what is her problem ?

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