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6 Signs Your Husband Is Attracted To Another Woman (What To Do)

Last updated on August 31, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Marriage isn’t always milk and honey.

Even Disney couples have their ups and downs, and real life is no different.

There might be moments, though, when you feel something is completely wrong.

Maybe all of a sudden, he started to arrive home late and, out of the blue, he casually changed his look too?

Perhaps he’s doing his best to avoid you? Leaves early in the morning only to arrive home late at night, putting off a lame excuse that he has too much to do at work?

Have you always been the best for him, but now it seems the only thing he does is to compare you with other women?

All these are signs he might be attracted to another woman.

Your heart’s empty now and feels so saddened. Attraction, though, doesn’t necessarily mean he’s cheating.

Maybe you can still work towards saving your marriage, but how can you find the truth?

If you want to know whether or not he’s cheating on you, I recommend using a background checker like this (click on the link to go to their site).

Simply enter his details to see if he has a presence on online dating sites, how much time he spends on Facebook, and who he might have been chatting to.

It can feel awkward to check on the one you love and trust with all your heart.

Still, many women have found their husbands were cheating on them in this way.

Hopefully, that’s not your case.

Just enter his name and location into the background checker to rule it out.

Now, I assume that wasn’t your case, so read on to find a few signs he might be attracted to another woman and what you can do to win him back in no time.

Signs that your husband is attracted to another woman

1. He avoids you

No man changes absolutely. It is a gradual process. If he is attracted to another woman, he tries to avoid you as much as he can. He does not want you to see his call log, hence he clears it. If you are the type that normally checks his phone without constraint, he begins to get offended when you go through it and even avoids your call when he stays out later than usual.

2. He becomes a man with lots of secrets

It is normal for married couples to share every tiny secrets but if your husband hides from you to receive his messages or reply his text all of a sudden, then there is another woman in the picture. Such men find it difficult to uphold their words. In fact, at the slight provocation, they turn conversations into arguments.

3. He starts comparing you

He might have never compared you with anybody but the moment he does, he is already getting attracted to another woman. I can only compare a friend to another person because I have taken my time to study the other person. For him, the more he gets attracted, the more he notices things peculiar to her. He begins to see you as her and if he gets to regain his consciousness, he looses out to compare. While some may stylishly make their comparison, some may even be bold to say it. Expressions like ‘I had lunch with my accountant at a new restaurant, we should go there someday’ He seems not to hide the relationship but in the actual sense, he is trying to take your mind off it in case you begin to notice.

4. His looks become unusual

The husband you know never wore a brand asides Calvin Klein but now he wears Ocean pacific. He gets a new haircut and pays more attention on being impressive. Some may say, ‘well, you can decide to change the way you look at any time’. Of course, Yes! But understand that a person’s dress sense does not change overnight except the change is triggered by an important factor.

5. He gets easily offended

Now, this part is usually the obvious part of a change in attitude. He sees a reason to get offended at the way you talk, the way you look, your sitting position and other similar things. He gets so irritated that you begin to wonder if you changed overnight.

​6. He reduces the time he spends with you

Be careful when your husband reduces the time he spends with you for no reason or a flimsy reason. The man who wants to be with you at all times now tells you he has a meeting, he needs to look through some files, or he needs to rest.

Relationships are different and the way married couples relate vary. However, one or more of these signs will surely be noticed.

As previously stated, there is a difference between feeling and knowing. You can be sure if he exhibits the signs above. However, there is a room to give the benefit of a doubt.

Is it like pulling teeth getting him to spend time with you?
The key to solving is understanding men on a much deeper emotional level. The number #1 factor that causes men to behave this way is actually relatively easy to change with a few subtle things you can say to him.

Take this quick quiz to see if he actually likes you!

Why Should I Give The Benefit Of A Doubt?

Marriage is delicate and should be treated as such. You cherish your marriage so much that you do not want to end up being a single mom. Understand that you are a woman and you have the natural ability to make things better or worse.

One reason why you should give your husband the benefit of doubt is to avoid escalating matters or to prevent negative accusations.

During this period, request for some time alone to discus. Tell him how you have been feeling and ask if you had previously offended him. He would either give excuses or deny his change of attitude.

If he continues the act or gets worse, then you can be sure that he is truly attracted to another woman. If you aren’t smart enough, you may lose your husband.

Why Is He Attracted?

You might want to decipher why he is not satisfied with you. Well, you need to know that being attracted to other people is natural. It becomes unnatural if the attraction is leading towards intimacy.

There is no actual reason why married men get attracted to other women. What one man likes may be different from what the other likes. In spite, some things are common amongst many and that is Your Attitude.

While some men are just covetous, others try to escape continuous issues with their wives and they end up getting attracted to another woman especially if the woman is there for them at that particular time of need.

To you, you may be perfect and without blemish, but to him, the woman who was once there for him is no longer there. I am not saying that getting attracted to a woman outside your home is right and justifiable, I am only saying that your actions might have pushed him out.

What if he wants to talk to you and you act tired and probably forget to ask him when you are free, what if he is having issues with his work and he finds it difficult to share his pains with you because you are always concerned about yourself? What if you suddenly become unreliable?

These are questions you should ask yourself and see if you are with or without blame. An old friend once told me that he filed for a divorce because his family members did not approve his wife since she was discourteous.

I wanted to take sides but her attitude when I visited them gave me no reasons to take her sides. They are happily divorced.

Before you say all sort concerning him, endeavor to picture your previous attitudes to him. You can even tell a male friend about the things you do that can put a man off. If he is sincere enough, he will tell whether the act is good or not.

How attractive is your physical appearance? Are you still the girl he fell in love with? Do you still possess those charms or you have allowed in excuses of childbirth?


Understand that, men get easily attracted to what they see. They function more with physical appearance. Now look at yourself and grade your look before and after marriage. Deep down in your heart, you may opine that he should have told you but he probably does not want to sound bad or he just lost interest in correcting you about it.

How about your sexual life? You may disagree but men are sexually selfish. They want to have access to their wives whenever they feel the urge but when you resist every time, you are actually ousting them.

When they see another woman who gives them little time, they begin to visualize being intimate with her. Look out for the things you do that you stopped doing. Those things, which seem unnecessary to you may mean the world to your husband.

Try to remember if he has ever complained about anything or if he has ever asked to know why you stopped doing something you previously enjoyed doing.

When you sort this out then you are a step to ending your husband’s relationship with the other woman. However, if you think you have remained in the best shape, then you know you have more work to do.

Check Esther Perel’s comment on why he is attracted to another woman

What To Do?

The way a man handles a situation is quite different from the way a woman handles issues. Men tend to compartmentalize how they feel. They can easily separate their work from home and separate their normal relationship from a romantic one

Unlike women, women tend to juggle things together. A man will hardly make his emotional issues affect his work while a woman finds it natural to evoke emotions in what she does.

Just as he separates work from home, he can separate you from the other woman. So, one thing you must never do is to make things hard. If you bring it on in the hard way, he will bring it closer in the harder way. In fact, you give him the more reason to run away.

Check Brad Browning’s video on how your attitudes can cause more havoc.

In getting your man back, never make an angry woman. I cannot say you should not be angry but when you keep in your anger, you have more time to think through the matter. If you think you should react to show how hurt you are, you will be so wrong.

Also, never go ahead to fight the other woman. Even if you trace her to get an evidence, do not stoop so low to be physical with her. It’s either you do not bother trying to know her or pretend like she does not exist.

There is only one way to get back your husband and in that one way lies every other thing you should do.



In terms of reconnecting, I do not mean you should uproot the other woman unskilfully. Now, the other woman is none of your concern. Your focus is your husband and your marriage. If you can settle that, the services of the other woman will no longer be required.

Get your husband’s attention. Yes, your relationship has strained to the extent that he has no time for you. This is yours to work out. You can set the table for a special dinner.

When you get his attention, never hesitate to say your mind. Do not sound attacking or desperate. Let an iota of plea reflect. Let him see how much you value the relationship, remind him of how much you have built together and feed on what you both can achieve without hindrance.

Communicate with him without fighting.

At this point, he will regain his conscience and let out his guilt. If your attitude pushed him out, he wouldn’t hesitate to speak at this stage. You can ask him to tell you about the other woman as well as the extent of their relationship.

Get to know the reasons behind his actions and intentions as that will help you into becoming a better woman.

Now, the fact that you have been able to crack your husband does not mean that you have gotten him. Look through what he had pointed out and begin to work towards it. If he had complained about your dress sense, have a change of wardrobe

If he complained about the way you cater more for your work than your home, try to work towards getting home as soon as you can to be available for him. Ensure that you take to corrections. Let him see the changes. It reconnects you to him.

What about the other woman?

Whether your husband tells you that he had a sexual relationship with the woman he is attracted to or he hasn’t, it does not change the fact that there is another woman in the picture.

Getting your husband to cease communications with this woman will require patience and trick. He may tell you that he would no longer have an affair with her but continuous communication with her may expatiate things.

Talk to him about it and let him see reasons why he should.


One reason why most women end up being regretful of everything is their approach towards the matter. Now, you need to know that people have the sole right to make their own decisions. You don’t want lose your husband, Yes! But you must give him a chance to decide.

This step must be done if he seems not to change totally or if he is still keeping in contact with her and that is Ultimatum step.

As earlier said, do not get mad at your husband. That attitude gives your words the right effect.

Check out the perfect timing to provide him with an ultimatum. The perfect time is when it seems like you have gotten him back.

Afterwards, deliver the ultimatum. This should not be done by calling and yelling on phone. When you do that, you end up not saying what you intended to say and your husband ends up not listening to you. The best way to deliver this ultimatum is through a written expression.

This written expression should contain;

  • ​How you felt when he confirmed that he was truly attracted to the other woman. Express your feeling in the first person- ‘I was in pains’ and not ‘You made me feel pains.’
  • ​Let him know how much you love him and how much you are willing to heal up and live like never happened.
  • ​If your wedding vows mean so much to you, you should reiterate every single word.
  • ​Write a list of what you cannot live with, in the marriage. One is a continuous contact with the other woman. Try not to sound authoritative and imposing. Let him see the need to make that decision
  • ​State how you can continue to live being married to him. Something like ‘I want to live the rest of my life with you but I cannot do so if there is the other woman in the picture’
  • ​Tell him to make his decision and act on what seems best for him.

​You know you have done your part by trying to make things better between the both of you. It is up to him to make that decision. You should lay your hands on ‘Not Just friends’ by Shirley Glass. The book will help you in making good decisions and how you should live after the decision.


How Do You Know If Your Husband Is Interested In Another Woman?

One of the easiest ways to tell if your husband is interested in another woman is the amount of attention he gives. If a man provides another woman with a lot of attention, being overly affectionate with the person or acting differently with someone when you're around, it might be a significant red flag.

What Do You Do When Your Husband Loves Another Woman?

As much as possible, try to cut off his contact with the woman he's in love with. Tolerating the presence of a mistress will affect your marriage since he'll start comparing both of you and giving you less attention. Another thing to do is to hide your weak point and never make him feel like you can't do without him. Once he realizes this, he's bound to carry on the relationship with both you and his mistress.

Can A Married Man Have A Crush On Another Woman?

Married people can have crushes on people who aren't their spouses; they're human and still have feelings even after vows have been exchanged. Crushes are harmless when they're not acted upon; thus, they don't mean your marriage is on the verge of ending. Also, having a crush doesn't mean your partner doesn't love anymore.

How Do You Know If Your Husband Likes Someone Else?

Telltale Signs that your husband has another person of interest in their life include;
- They withdraw from you emotionally and become more secretive with a lot of things.
- They aren’t as affectionate and thoughtful as they used to be.
- There’s one person they talk about consistently, whether seriously or casually.

How Do You Tell If Your Husband Still Finds You Attractive?

A husband shows his love in varying ways, especially when he’s still attracted to you. Husbands often confide in those they’re attracted to, and they also can’t keep their eyes off you even as you wash dishes or do the laundry. He’ll show you off and surprise you ever so often.


Marriage is not a relationship with the ‘on and off pattern’. It is either on or off. Before you take these steps, ensure you confirm your feelings by knowing. Much more, understand that it is natural to be attracted to another woman but the moment it begins to affect your marriage, you need to intervene.

Don’t force anything but make efforts towards restoration. Do not hesitate to drop your questions in the comment session.

Love is a tough one but you can make it easy when you Rise to Fight For what you Believe in.

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

23 comments on “6 Signs Your Husband Is Attracted To Another Woman (What To Do)”

  1. I’ve noticed my husband had been replying to comments on his Facebook page with the heart sign to women who “ like” something he post. One in particular sent him a birthday wish. I send him a Birthday post in big bold letters and he only reply’s to mine with a like sign. It was very hurtful and I told him so. This same particular women was with her husband and all of us on a jeep weekend trip . I caught my husband inadvertently Take his cold coke can out of the ice chest walk by her and touch her on the back of the leg! Just as a playful gesture,it was like a punch in my stomach. I don’t think he realized I had been standing right there. I was hurt and really shocked to see him do that. It was a blatant way of flirting with her that’s how I felt. I have held the anger in trying to forget about it. This was 6 months ago and I’m continually wat Hong his every mo e on Facebook his comments and my jealousy has escalated. I told my therapist about a jealousy issue with him and the first thing she asked me what was I angry about! I thought and realized I had burtief that anger about the coke thing. She said I need to tell him. What’s your advice?

  2. After being in relationship with my husband for years, he broke up with me. I did everything within my reach to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because of the love I had for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back , I had no choice than to try it. I messaged the spell caster, and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before three days. He cast the spell and surprisingly on the second day, my husband called me. I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened, That He wanted me to return to him. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again, Contact Dr IYAYA Today the great Spell caster that can help you with any relationship issues, He also prepared herbal medications and send it through DHL COURIER DELIVERY SERVICES and you are going to use it for just. 11days after, you can go for a hospital to do a checkup, the result came out and i tested NEGATIVE. I'm sharing this with you, because i believe there's someone out
    here who also desire to have this cure You can

  3. Your article is pure bullsh*t! Telling wives that they must treat a cheating husband with kid gloves and look at theirself and change because evidently that's why their husband has become attracted to another woman and acting on his attraction is disgusting to say the least. People like you and advice like this is why husband's have always felt they can cheat on their wives.

    Why don't you stop acting like men should be treated like they are the poor victim and the wife is the horrible person who causes them to think with their penis and feel entitled to acting on temptation. Do they rob banks when they get tempted by the money factor? I think not because they know its wrong and they know cheating, infidelity, betrayal and adultery are wrong too, but society and people like you tell them its ok because their wife must not be a good wife.


    1. Thank you for this comment, where is the article telling men to treat their wives with respect, care for them and pay attention to them
      Men distance themselves from their wives and them begin to look for companions in other women.
      Give women a break and write something on how men should love the women they chose to love and not just pull away for absolutely no reason.

  4. Now My husband used to lock his mobile. Don't want me to look his WhatsApp. Earlier we fought for his adultery with another woman. At that time I noticed and found the signs. I am not able to trust him like before. Living with him for our little son. But he is telling that he has no affairs now. I am in great pain.

  5. Back to the question lol.how do we know our husbands are cheating or are we paranoid.or do i over think sometimes now we on lock down

  6. I'm engaged to love of my life. We are officially live together without marriage and work together. Before 6 month ago one girl came and she became my friend. My fiance is also became her friend. When the time increases. ..relationship between my friend nd my fiance also became stronger. Now today is the day that I was just hate that girl so much and my fiance not able to leave her, also don't wanna to leave me. Today I know that he is chatting with her and meet her.

    What should I do????

  7. I can say how I feel about a spouse cheating. But it doesn't really matter, what really matters to me is honestly is the best policy, now if mom spouse goes out and has an affairs with me doing all the right things, then I want nothing to do with him, ever again. Because I believe that a person who enters a marriage with a full heart of commitment would never do that to their spouse, a good respectable spouse with good morals would never stoop that low, not knocking those who cheat, iam talking about a spouse with good morals and respect for humanity beings, and if my spouse cheats then it's time to trade them off, Case Closed for me,! Now I realize this is not for everyone, and to each it's own. I hear that people do change, me personally I rather stick with the honesty best policy, I rather have my spouse tell me , hey.... I want a divorce, I will truly respect him as an individual and show them the door. And all who ask about our marriage I will say...simply we had agree to disagree. End of case. No bad mouth or critizing, because at the end of the day, do you really want to be with someone who feels that way about you. Listen I have self respect for myself and Iam not begging my spouse to stay with after an affair. It's my way.

  8. I caught my husband having an emotional affair. He told the other woman she was beautiful. How he would give her massage to take her stress away. That she needs to be cuddled and hinted about sex. . She ate it up to where she said for him to call her on WhatsApp. He said he loved her and she loved him. That he be there for her with whatever she needs. She kept complaining about her horrible husband. I happen to catch this the app open by accident. So I confronted my hubby. He claims it was meaningless words. He admits he made a stupid mistake and was only trying to make himself feel better since I wasn’t giving him enough attention. He added I was also grumpy n angry . I flat out told him that he knows why I’m angry and grouchy. I kept getting shot down. We don’t cuddle. We don’t have sex because he has issues in that area (doctor says his fine) . We hardly kiss now but blames covid since I work in a hospital. I don’t get sappy I love you text or anything like he did when he chased after me. He’s crying for attention? Ive been verbal about not getting enough attention but I m not looking elsewhere. He doesn’t see not putting effort in to our marriage is affecting me, regardless how many times I spoke up. Yes there are things I stopped doing but when you give 200% and you barely get back anything. You find yourself stuck. I’m very angry and hurt by this mess. I’ve sacrificed a lot and he forgets all that for another woman’s attention. Now it’s just wait and see if he willing to do all the work and prove he wants to be with me. I’m not asking for the impossible, just an effort. And I will work on my issues. But it can’t be just me working everything out for us. Otherwise, regardless of how much I love him.....I will walk away.

  9. You're so right that marriage is not a relationship with the 'on and off pattern'. I also love how you point out that's important to give the benefit of the doubt and to confirm your suspicions. Great article!

  10. My husband has become over busy since six months and tries to be away all the time. He gets annoyed very often with me and has mood swings. I am not sure of it's another woman or work stress. He even cancelled our couple trip and chose to go alone giving absurd reasons. I am confused. Tried to talk but he denied anything

  11. It totally sucks when husband cheats on you, keeps you in dark and makes sure you to give you equal attention too. How do these men manage all this and geta sound sleep too? Never a hint of guilt.

  12. Me and my were been together for almost 15yrs now. And we have 3 children. But I’ve noticed something different on him. Since I gave birth to my 3rd baby and my mastectomy. It takes a lot time to regain my physical and emotional strength. But Im trying my best. Im trying to get back myself. He always gets annoyed every time I scolded my kids when they are misbehaving. He said why am I always mad. Even my eldest son noticed that he’s always get annoyed every time he came from work. So I dont know what to think. So I try to check on his phone but unfortunately its lock. So I check his apple watch then I saw some text messages. He send some messages “ i love you so much” and Advance happy anniversary, and he misses her. So I totally freak out on it, but I don’t know how to confront him. I was thinking if its my fault?

  13. what if you saw a txt msg in your spouse phone and they call each other bae? is that a sign of something is going on. By the way co -worker.

  14. My husband is having an affair. Someone told me and he is denying it. I want a divorce and I don't know how to go about it.

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