Unplanned pregnancy is one of those surprises that could sweep you off your feet, especially when you thought you had it all under control. I can imagine how it would feel to have plans to fulfill or long term goals you've always wanted to achieve, and then boom! You get pregnant.
Pregnancy news could bring happy or sad feelings when you tell your partner. His initial reaction could be shocking to you as well, especially when you both always fantasized about having a baby together. And it's also okay for you to have mixed feelings when something like this happens.
After your initial reaction and confusion, it's time to sit down and think about practical and logical ways to approach the situation. And the best way to go about it is to tell the father of your baby about an unplanned pregnancy. Of course, it would feel like the world is crumbling on you. You may feel nervous.
Talking about an unplanned pregnancy can be a hard conversation to have either with your boyfriend or your husband. But, every relationship is different which means every couple has a unique way to handle a situation. But how do you tell him? Keep reading to find out tips on how to break the big news to your partner.
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It’s necessary to be sure you’re really pregnant before spilling the news to anyone. A home pregnancy test is a common way to find out if you’re pregnant or not. Depending on the kind of person you are, you could choose to go alone, with a friend, a family member, or preferably your partner.
But it’s advisable to pop into a hospital briefly to do a quick test to make sure you’re pregnant. Ask him to join you for the test. That way, the doctor would tell you both about the pregnancy. And depending on the kind of couple you are, you could handle your feelings in a perfect way.
Text messages and calls are easy ways to use to pass across information, especially when you get pregnant. You just want to drop it and run offline. It sounds really easy but it should be your last option.
The kind of partner you have should determine the right place for a meetup. Also, think of his reaction or response to things like this and decide on where to choose to tell him about the baby. You could decide to go for dinner, stroll, or any place with distractions. But it’s always best to go to a more private place for a better discussion.
Unplanned pregnancy is something you need time to think about. You’ll need personal space for some time to be able to think straight. You should decide if you want to keep the baby or not.
Give your husband or boyfriend reasons why you made that choice. List the pros and cons of your choice and assure him that everything would be fine. Go straight to the point and be honest. He is the father of the baby, your boyfriend, or your husband and I feel he should be a part of any decision you make for the baby. So, listen to him and let it be a fair conversation.
Remember, you’ve had your own time to think about the shock. You must have had your own outburst of emotions. It’s something your partner needs time to digest. There could be happiness, shock, fear, or even a mix of two or all emotions.
The father of the baby, whether it’s your boyfriend or husband of a few months may be excited to have a baby but needs enough time to think to be able to adjust his plans to the news. Kids are a gift to both parents even though most partners may not be ready mentally to accept them. Just like you, he would have his reaction and he would probably have a lot of questions. He may want time to talk to someone else about it too.
Discussing your decisions with each other or telling him your personal decision at the same time you tell him about the baby could help control his emotions. It’s a way to give him an idea of how to go about the whole situation.
It’s also something to keep the conversation going to know if you both want to keep the baby or not. Take time to talk it through. Talking to him about it could even make you both decide or know where the relationship is going or if it would end. Make sure you’re firm with your decision as well. It will help keep things in place. After all, pregnancy brings joy.
First of all, remember not everyone would have the reaction as you. Plans are never the same as realities and emotions and feelings can’t be controlled. So take some time to be ready for your partner’s reaction, numerous questions, and a lengthy conversation.
Your relationship may either get better or not. Things could be a bit different between both of you when you tell him. Also, watch his body language. It could help direct you on what to do. Whatever be the case, your mental health deserves some peace. You could talk to a therapist if need be. So, prepare emotionally to be able to withstand his emotions or reaction after you tell him.
Sometimes, having someone else be with you while you tell him about the baby is necessary. If you feel you’re not strong enough to discuss it with him alone, you can get help.
You sometimes need a third party to help neutralize the situation. It doesn’t matter if it’s a random man or your boyfriend, you may just need someone around. Preferably, someone, he knows or respects. The person may not necessarily need to say anything while you talk or they could just stay at a distance till you need support.
You can start talking about fun topics you both are used to. Ask him questions on how he would react if a pregnancy came up. Make some pregnancy jokes and see his reaction. His response would guide you on how to tell him about the baby.
The point here is, no matter how he responds to your talks you still have to tell him especially if he’s the father. If he’s not, you may want to start with an apology. It may hurt him a lot at first but with time he’ll come to respect your courage to open up to him even though things won’t remain the same. But if he’s your partner and the father of the baby, supporting topics could ease the gist and help control his tense feelings.
If you’re not too comfortable with directly communicating with him, you could just attach a photo of the pregnancy test result as a message to him. I know some women don’t have the strength to say it out, especially when it’s an unplanned pregnancy and you’re both not ready to be parents.
If you’re married it may be easier even if it’s unplanned. But if you can’t talk to him physically about it, you could send him the result and wait for his response. You’re free to do it digitally or just hand it over to him physically without saying anything. It depends on you or both of you.
Depending on how long you’ve known your man, you could pay him a visit. In this particular tip, I’m not saying you should hang out. Sometimes, it’s good to just pay him a visit to say what you need to let out.
Find a time he’s not too busy. He may need to eat first before listening to you because things like this could make a man lose his appetite, especially when he thought he had everything figured out. So visit him, let the atmosphere be clear and then say it.
If your partner is a busy person, you could call or send a text message to him. No matter how busy he may be, he would respond when he sees it. Even if he’s not busy, send a short text asking when he would be less busy to talk.
You could call directly if you know he would be free to talk. When you call, don’t make it such a big deal even when you know it is. Because sometimes, your take on the situation sort of determines how he would react to it as well.
Most times, it’s a mixture of emotions. They could be frightened, afraid, sad, happy, or have a mixture of all. A few of them have slight panic attacks sometimes. It’s not like they see it as a bad thing but it’s the shock that brings up emotions.
It depends on the couple involved. Nothing should ruin a relationship except the two partners decide they can’t be together anymore. An unplanned pregnancy can only ruin a relationship if the two partners don’t feel good about it, there was never a plan to be together, or other circumstances beyond control.
I don’t think it will be nice to keep it away from him for too long. Reasons being that you may want to make certain decisions on time to be able to move on from it. I would say you should take your time but not later than a couple of days after you discover.
Before deciding, ask yourself what you’re really going to be comfortable living with. If you feel you’ll be fine aborting it, then you can tell him. But make sure it’s a choice you’re completely fine with. It should come from a place of peace.
An unwanted pregnancy is not something to weigh you down. You could keep it if you and your partner are ready to be parents. But if you’re not ready, you could abort it. To avoid it for future purposes you could use birth control pills. The recommended ones.
Don’t panic because you’re pregnant and unplanned. Everything has a solution and I’ve listed some of the tips already. Try them out and see how they can help. It’s never too serious. And if you love this article, please like and share it with others too.