Do you feel invisible to the men you’re attracted to?
Do the best guys always chase your friends and ignore you?
Perhaps you’re wondering what you can do to get a guy to notice you?
If so, you’re in the right place. The guide below includes 34 ideas to help you stand out to attractive guys.
But first, I want to share how I transformed from ‘just another chick’ to the type of woman that guys would OBSESS over.
It all started when I learned about a little-known aspect of male psychology, which affects how men feel about the women in their life.
This psychological trigger is called the ‘Hero’s Instinct’.
It’s a deeply-embedded way of thinking that all men seem to hold.
Once you understand how to activate it, you’ll notice a difference in how they treat you. It creates an emotional bond they’re not used to feeling around women - because so few women know about this! (read my personal story to learn more).
If you’re struggling to make an impact on men, I urge you to discover how I learned to use the Hero’s Instinct.
This skill can make all the difference to relationships. Click here to learn how to utilise it.
Of course, you’ll need to be noticed by men in the first place to trigger their Hero’s Instinct. The guide below will help you to achieve this.
I’m going to give all the tips that I used to grab his attention as well as some tips from friends so that you can get the man you have been longing for too.
One of the first you need to focus on and learn is how to love yourself. This doesn’t mean you should be kissing your reflection in the mirror though. I mean to love who you are as a person; the way you look, your hobbies, your interests and everything else.
If you learn to love yourself then you are naturally going to carry yourself very well. You will walk into rooms and parties with your head held high and with a bright smile on your face. What man isn’t going to notice that?
Think of the classic and very cheesy Bond Girl moment when she slo-mo walks out of the sea flipping her hair. While you can’t exactly strut out of the sea at the office or in the club, you can still walk with confidence and giving off an air of sexuality. It’s time to practice your Bond Girl walk in the bedroom.
We all don’t like something about our looks whether it is out small boobs, big boobs, big bum or knobbly knees. The trick is to not let that one thing or two things you don’t like about your looks take over. Instead, focus on three things you like about your looks and dress to emphasize those areas.
I hate the fact that I have no bust and I remember even going to a consultation years ago to get a boob job. I’m so glad now that I never. In contrast to that, I have always liked my butt and have always worn skirts or pants that will accentuate this feature that I like about myself. I don’t do this so that men will gawp at me though; I do it so that I feel good about myself and attractive. It is because I feel good about myself that has always attracted the attention of men.
A guy will certainly notice of you if you look like you’re having a lot of fun. Think of it this way, would you be attracted to a man who is sitting in the corner looking like there is a dark cloud hanging above the or would you be attracted to a man who is joking with his friends and laughing? Nobody wants to be with someone who inflicts misery so show you are having fun.
This doesn’t mean that you should start dancing on the tables in the office though. It may be hard to show that you are having fun at work or during an exam but even just smiling can show that you are a fun person who doesn’t take life so seriously.
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Some women can try too hard to get the attention of the man they have been longing for and end up turning into attention seeking which the man will clearly see. He may now notice but it will be for all the wrong reasons.
To avoid looking desperate or an attention seeker, don’t start deliberately walking past him over and over again or chatting so loud close to him so he can hear all of the dates you have been on recently. While it is ok to catch his eye and flash a little smile and quickly return to the conversation you were having with your friends, it’s never a good thing to stare at him until he looks at you and even more not a good thing if you wink at him.
I mentioned that walking past him over and over again will give off the impression that you are desperate and seeking his attention. However that doesn’t mean that you can’t do it once though. Make sure when you are waking past him though that you are doing so for a purpose. It could be to the office kitchen to make coffee or to the bar in the club to get a drink. It could be very awkward of you just walk past him, turn around and come back again as if you were on a catwalk.
When you do walk past him, makes sure to stand up straight with you head held high and release the inner Bond Girl in you. What will make this even better is if you are walking towards a friend because then you can have a lovely big smile on your face which he is sure to notice your radiant self.
I spoke before about catching his eye and staring. It is important that when catching the eye of a guy you fancy that you hold it for the right amount of time. If you hold it for too long, it could become creepy. If you hold it for too short then he may not notice the signal.
The right amount of time will depend on how comfortable you are doing it but I would say to catch his eye and hold for just 2 to 4 seconds. You don’t want to look too eager but just enough so that he knows you are open to conversation if he is interested. If you feel there is a spark then you can even flash a quick smile in his direction.
While many people say they never judge a person before knowing them, we simply can’t help it sometimes. This is why first impressions actually do count. Making a first impression will only happen once so make sure it is a good one. If after you have caught a guy’s eye and he comes up to you start a conversation, make sure to smile and be friendly and flirty. At this point, you do not want to come on too strong as you just want to show him that you are a fun person to talk to. Keep the conversation light and fun and try to avoid any negativity. You don’t want to start complaining about the bar service or your manager at work as it might give the impression that you ‘nag’. This is a trait that will put men off.
Sometimes the best way to get a guy to notice you is by having a flirtatious body language. Simple things like flicking your hair or touching your neck can be a sign of flirtatious body language. If you are standing with a group of friends in a bar then stand tall and confident. Don’t constantly fidget with your dress or jewellery as this can be seen as nervous body language. Men are more likely to notice the Bond Girl who is confident and oozes sexuality than the girl with her head down fidgeting with her dress.
If you’re not sure what to do with your hands and are feeling nervous, that is when fidgeting happens, get a drink from the bar to hold to keep yourself from fidgeting. This is a quick fix though; you will need to work on your confidence and flirtatious body language.
Once you feel there is a bit of a spark then you can go ahead and start flirting a little. Again you don’t want to come on too strong but a little flirt never hurt anyone. Don’t start throwing yourself all over him, simple things lick licking your lips or twirling your hair are subtle signs of flirting.
At this point, you want to keep things light and fun which a little flirting and teasing will help with. Taking the flirting too far at this point can become desperate or too strong too soon. Instead of coming right out with it and telling him you think he is hot, lower your voice a little so that he has to lean into you slightly.
Positivity is infectious and so when a guy sees a woman who is always positive and always smiling, it will be someone he will want to be around. As I said before, nobody wants to be around someone who is always complaining and grumpy; it’s not the most attractive quality to have.
Being positive will not only get him to notice you but it will also help to improve your lifestyle. Positivity can help you achieve those career goals, help you lose the lingering bit of weight and help you take more care of yourself. Being positive really is a win-win.
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If the guy complains about something or talks about something that is sad or serious then by all means, follow the conversation but it is something that I would recommend you avoid initiating.
Interesting people will always attract the attention of others as we all have a natural urge to want to know more about them. You can show him how interesting you are by bringing up something you seen in the news and showing him your sense of humour by teasing him about something and taking a joke yourself. You may also have an unusual hobby that will be interesting to him. One of my friends is a black belt in martial arts and is a great talking point for her when meeting guys.
Another trait that can be interesting is to be playful. If you are playful and spontaneous then he will never know what you are going to do next which will interest him. There was one girl I remember working with who had an amazing sense of humour and was very playful. All the guys could connect with her because she was playful, could joke about herself and give as much as she gets.
Just as showing how interesting you are, it is also important to show how special you are. While it may be great that he notices you, men can notice a lot of women and so you need to stand out from the rest. You can do this by mentioning some crazy experience you have done in the past, how you spend your free time volunteering or anything else that makes you special.
If he guy you have your eye on is in your work then you can show him special you are by doing amazing in your job. If a guy sees that you have ambition and independency, he will be sure to take notice. If the guy you have your eye on is in your college then perhaps organise a group or party and invite him along.
A great way to get a guy to notice you is to find some sort of common ground. This could be liking the same band, supporting the same football team or watching the same TV series. If you hear the guy you’re interested in talking about a TV series you have also been watching then it is the perfect time to get involved in a conversation with him. You could tell him that you are on the same episode too and predict what you will think happen next.
Sometimes the scariest thing for a guy is what they are going to say to you first so even if they have already noticed you, they may not have started a conversation because of this. You can take away that fear by initiating the conversation by finding common ground. You will also be able to tell whether he is interested in you by talking to him.
If after you have found common ground and you believe that he may be interested in you then why not get him to ask you out. You can do this by casually bringing up that the band you both like are on at the local area at the weekend or that a new sushi restaurant has opened up if you know he likes sushi.
You don’t have to wait for a band to play or a new restaurant to open to get him to ask you out though. You can get him to ask you out by saying you really want to do something this weekend but not sure what. While this may not be as subtle as mentioned a band playing, it is still a good move to make.
There is no better way to get a guy to notice you than to dress sexy. If the guy you want to notice you is in work then obviously you can’t rock up in a mini bodycon dress, but you can still wear something that you know looks cute on you and accentuates your best features such as a pencil skirt or peplum skirt. Trying to get a guy to notice you while wearing a baggy cardigan is never going to work.
If you know that he will be at the same bar as you tonight then it is time to put on the sexiest dress you have in your wardrobe. Showing how sexy you are from what you are wearing to how confident you are will be sure to grab his attention in all the right ways.
A great way to grab a guy’s attention is to pretend you are occupied with something else. For example, if you can ‘feel’ his eyes on you then instead of turning to look at him, pretend to carry on working or choosing from the menu while twirling your hair around your finger or touching your lip. This will give the guy plenty of chance to check you out without. If you look up at him then he might turn away and you will have ruined the chance to get him to truly notice you and take all your beauty in. Ig he likes what he sees the he will be sure to come over and start conversation with you.
While it seems shallow to get a guy’s attention by highlighting your assets; your legs, your breasts, your bum etc., everyone needs that initial attraction which then you can find out more about each other as the relationship develops. Whatever you like best about yourself, be sure to highlight that feature if you know he will be at the bar you’re going to tonight, at work or at a college party.
Showcasing your best assets will make you feel confident and sexy and so not only will you grab his attention but you will also feel great about yourself it truly is a win win. Plus, it is the perfect time to hit the shops… like we need an excuse anyway.
This is really only one that should be used if you genuinely have an interest in some guy things such as football, beer and anything else they love to do. While I’m not necessarily into football as such, I do support my local team. Before I was married I would go to the sports bar and support my local team when I knew there was a big game on. If I got a guy’s attention, I wouldn’t pretend that I was a diehard football fan though, I was there for the fun and to be a part of the community.
Sometimes the best way to get a guy’s attention is to be somewhere that not many other women will be such as the sports bar. The odds will be in your favour if the ration of men to women is greater by quite some distance.
If you smell good then a guy is going to notice. If you walk past him at work, college, party or at a bar and you have your best perfume on then it will grab his attention. If you are sitting next to him in class or at work and your hair smells gorgeous then he will also notice that too. The point is, to always smell your best whether it is with perfume, body wash, shampoo or body lotion.
It doesn’t even have to be perfume; if you smell yummy then it will be another way to get him to notice you. For example, you might bake a batch of cookies before heading to the local neighbourhood event. He will be sure to notice this yummy smell that surrounds you. We all know the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach so it makes sense to smell yummy.
The worst thing you can do is try and be cool at work or college and be bitch about your colleagues or classmates and try to be the Queen B. We’ve all seen Mean Girls and seen how being Queen B turned out. You will certainly get a guy’s attention but it won’t be the right attention.
In order to get his attention in all the right ways, you will need to remain kind. There is nothing better than someone who is kind and caring. It is a quality that you yourself would look for in a guy so why would you believe that he wouldn’t want you to be kind and caring.
He won’t be able to notice you if he can’t see you. For him to see you, you’re going to have to try and find out where he hangs out and where he spends his spare time. This is actually easier then you may initially think if you work or go to college with him. For example, you might hear him always talking about going to the gym after work or overhear him talking about his night out. You can then use this to ‘bump’ into him at the gym or gather your girlfriends and suggest a night out and ‘bump’ into him at the bar you heard him talking about. If you notice that he is lingering around you then he has definitely noticed you and is interested.
If all other subtle tips to get his attention haven’t worked then you can always try and strike up a conversation with him. If you work with him and you hear him talking about something you like to do too then join in the conversation and ask him a question. If you go to college with him are you’re both in the same class then ask what he thought about the topic the teacher brought up. If you see a guy at a busy bar then you could if he could help you get the bar attendants attention. Some men don’t like to be the first to make a move so save them the worry and do it for them.
If you’re interested in a guy and want to get him to notice you then there is no point in playing hard to get. This could actually be seen as high maintenance and might put him off. Even though he has noticed you, it probably won’t be in the same way that you want him to. If he plucks up the courage to come over and ask whether you’ll be going to the office party or college party then don’t start playing hard to get, just give him a simple answer... yes or no. If it is no then be honest and tell him why. This will make him feel that it isn’t because of him that you’ve said no and won’t feel any fear to ask you again the next time.
If you have grabbed his attention and are now talking to him, don’t ruin it at this point by not being attentive. We all love having our mobile phone glued to our hands but whatever you do, don’t start texting or checking your social media while talking to him. Show him that you are fully engrossed in the conversation by asking questions and actually listening. You wouldn’t like it if he was fiddling with his phone while you’re having a conversation with him; it would probably put you off him, wouldn’t it? If you wouldn’t like it then don’t do it to him.
Sometimes to get the man you want, you have to step out of your comfort zone and try something new. For example, if you like a guy at work and know that he likes to spend his weekends fishing then why not try it yourself. It would give you the perfect chance to strike a conversation with him about something you know he enjoys doing. Don’t make out that you have been doing it for years and it is a hobby of yours. You could say that a friend took you fishing for the first time and tell him how you caught a big fish or how you fell in the water. Striking up conversation about something he enjoys is a great way to get him to notice you.
I’m sorry if you have ever been hurt in the past in relationships but you mustn’t let this stop you from finding a good man. A lot of women who have been cheated on in the past will naturally have their guard up and will see all men as the same. Not all men are the same though, there are good men out there who will care and love you like you deserve. In order to find those men though, you need to let your guard down and remain non-judgemental. If you don’t treat all men as bad guys then you will naturally be kinder towards them meaning the right type of guy will notice your kindness.
If you’ve been texting a guy but nothing ever really came of it then try stop texting. Sometimes the best way to get a guy’s attention is to switch up your usual habits. Because you have been texting him, he will probably always expect a return text or a text asking how his night was. If you don’t get back to him for a while and stop initiating text conversation, he will be sure to notice the change. This can be the same for phone calls, emails and other forms of contact you have with him. Be careful though that you don’t make him feel that you’re not interested anymore.
If you’re sitting around the lunch table at work and the conversation starts up about families and the guy you’re interested in is within hearing distance then tread carefully. You don’t want to frighten him by talking about how you would want to be married a year after meeting someone and would want kids straight after marriage. For your own benefit, you shouldn’t ever have a timeline for family planning as life is for living not planning. Just make a joke about you just looking for a date first never mind marriage and kids. If the guy is hearing, it will notice that you are someone that wouldn’t add pressure on him.
If you get a guy’s attention and he has come over from the bar to talk to you, at this point a little flirting and acting coy is a great idea. What’s not a good idea is to full on make out with him or even sleep him the same night. You want to leave him wanting more so if you give him everything as soon as he notices you, it might make him not want to come back. He will be more interested if you remain sexy while flirting and having fun.
We all know how men love their sports and so the best way get him to notice you is to head to the sports bar wearing your team’s colors. If you’re celebrating and booing alongside other men, they will be sure to notice and one will be sure to come over and start talking to you. To increase the chances of this happening, het a group of girlfriends together and when getting into the sports bar, look for a group of guys that are wearing the same team apparel as you and go and sit next to them or close by. You will be sure to end up cheering together.
If there is one way to get a guy to notice you is to answer questions in your college class. You will be grabbing the attention of the whole room while looking great and showcasing your intelligence. Brains and beauty is a powerful thing which is why answering questions in class is a great way to grab his attention. He may even ask you for an opinion or your advice after class. When you do answer questions though, don’t act smug or overly confident as this can put him off.
One way to create an excuse to talk to the guy you are interested in is to start a study group. Ask a few people from your class if they would like to start a study group and then when you’ve got it set up, you can ask him to join too. The other option is to ask him first if he would like to start a study group with you so that you can have a project to work on together. Either way, it is a great way to start a conversation with him.
Men love to help a damsel in distress so playing he damsel role is a great way to get him to notice you. This could be something as small as asking him to reach the coffee on the top shelf if you’re at the office or asking him if he’ll help carry your heavy books to class. Giving him the opportunity to ‘rescue’ you will be a sure way to get him to notice you.
This may sound like a bit of a silly one but it definitely works to get him to notice you. When you know that he is looking your way then gently flip your hair to show your neck and release your inner model. For some reason, unknown to me, this single and very simple action can drive a man crazy. Practice your seductive hair flipping techniques and get flipping at the office, college or at the bar.
While I have spoken a lot about how you can get a guy to notice you, I want to give you a quick lowdown on what not to do. There is no point in getting a guy to notice you if is not in the right way. You want him to not only notice you but to notice you in all the right ways. Here are a few things you need to be wary of when trying to attract his attention:
1. Don’t change who you are to get his attention as it will come back to bite you on the bum.
2. Don’t become desperate for attention as this might get his attention but for all the wrong reasons.
3. Don’t try to be a ‘guy’ when you’re not interested in football, beer or anything else that are guys love to do.
4. Don’t let him be the centre of your life. If you’ve done everything to get him to notice you but he still hasn’t… it’s time to walk away.
5. Never let a guy come between you and your girlfriends. If you’re out with the girls then give them your attention and not keep ignoring them to try and catch the eye of a guy.
I hope you have enjoyed this blog post and will use some of the tips I have mentioned to get a guy to notice you. It doesn’t matter whether you are at work, college or on a night out, these tips will help you get a man. Not only that, you’ll soon be batting them off you. Here are a few key tips to remember though:
6. Look cute while twirling your hair when you know he is looking at you.
7. If it is someone you work with or go to college with then make small talk every now and again.
8. Make him curious and leave him wanting to know more about you.
9. Take a risk and just ask him out.
10. Be confident and sexy when standing, walking or talking.
11. Make the first move by initiating casual conversation.
12. Don’t try too hard so that you look desperate or attention seeking.
13. Be laid back and fun, not serious and boring.
14. Be helpful by picking up his schoolbooks or files if he drops them.
Since your relationship is unique, the most important thing is that you use a tailored approach to tackle your relationship issues.
A generic approach with advice you read online can often even make things even worse!
The best way to get this advice is through someone with experience that is able to listen to the issues you are facing in your relationship…
That is why I highly recommend the website Relationship Hero that gives you specialized advice for your relationship.
In fact, a few weeks ago I reached out to them when I was going through an extremely difficult patch in my relationship.
I had hit rock bottom, and couldn’t even turn to my friends for advice anymore.
After speaking to Lucy (my relationship coach at Relationship Hero) and telling her of my desperate situation, she was able to give me some concrete steps to follow over the following days.
I was able to check in with her on a daily basis as I implemented her advice, and she helped me through every step.
Not only was she super helpful and empathetic, she eventually helped me solve some of the issues had been plaguing my relationship for years.
I can’t thank them enough.
Want him to chase, love and worship you?
Well, you’ll need to have a much deeper understanding of his astrological love profile. My friend and relationship astrologer Anna Kovach prepared this Free Compatibility Quiz to help you discover the secrets of his zodiac sign.