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How To Ask Out A Friend (9 Easy Ways)

by Sonya Schwartz

Falling in love with your friend can be a very tricky heart game. Most times, you try to hide the feelings, but those butterflies in your belly won’t let you. The truth is, being in love with a guy who is your friend is not always the problem. The major issue is the fear of breaking your friendship when you tell him how you feel.  

Because you are friends doesn’t even guarantee you that it will work out as a couple. Anything can happen and you can break up at any time. If this happens, there is a great possibility that your friendship with the guy is automatically over.  

So, if you decide to go for it, make sure you love him and he loves you too. The both of you must want to be together and take your union to another level.  

But if one party isn’t 100% into it then do not take any single chance, just move one as being friends. Are you still confused and thinking of ways of asking out someone? Then do not overthink something like this. I am here to help you out with these nine tips. 

9 Tips To Ask Out A Friend

1. Be sure of your feelings

Yes, I understand he is cute, he has a great smile and you vibe well with him, but are you sure you want to be more than just friends? You can be easily confused with your feelings. It could be the case that you’re just enamored by how cute and attractive he looks and that may confuse you. 

So, do not go for it unless you are sure that you love him and it’s the real thing. Because if you feel mere infatuation, telling him won't only break your relationship, it will also break your bond.  

While being sure of how you feel, make sure you prepare yourself if he says yes or even a flat out ‘No’. This way, you won’t get caught off balance. 

2. Work with timing

Work with timing

Asking someone who just came out of a bad relationship one week after that is a no-no. Don’t ask him out at such a time. Ensure your friend is emotionally stable to a good extent before you shoot your shot. Talk to him. If he says he doesn’t want to be in a relationship yet, then don’t stress. Work with time. This way, you won’t ruin the bond you already have. 

3. Ease into it

Ever heard the saying ‘slow and steady wins the raise’? Don’t just dive into asking him out without an emotional warning. He may be shocked and you will end up looking creepy and desperate.  

So, get into his heart slowly, take him on a date to places he would like to go. When he is well dressed, compliment him. Tell him he looks charming in his outfit. Also, try flirting with him once in a while.  

When doing this, pay attention to how receptive he is to your passes and see how he reciprocates them. His reaction will give you confidence and make you know what next to expect. Take things slowly and give it some time. Ensure you don't rush asking him out. 

4. It shouldn’t be about sex

Since you want to know how to ask a friend out, I will first let you know that it can be really difficult. This is not to scare you away from it, as much as going from it. Although going from friendship to boyfriend and girlfriend can seem difficult, there is also a potential bliss there. It’s not going to be easy for you and it will even be harder when you make it all about sex. 

Imagine one of your guy friends doing that to you. He just comes to you and is all about sex. Even if he is in love with you for real and his intentions are pure, you will doubt it and it will feel creepy. So, when you are sure that you love someone and you want a genuine union, do not make it all about sex. 

5. Speak to mutual friends

Since you are both in the same friend group, you should speak to a few of your mutual friends about it. It may be weird if you both become a couple out of the blues. Dating life is serious and it can be caught up in the crossfire when things get weird. So, come out, be open, and honest with them, so they can handle things easier. 

Also, asking someone else for advice can help you. Your friends can offer some useful advice that will help you get close to your goal. This would really be a great step to take. 

6. Be versatile

Be versatile

Asking someone out is risky. If you are willing to take it, then you have to show the different sides of you. Also, show that you can be an interesting person in a beautiful way.  

If you only listen to blues songs when you are with him, mix it up. Sometimes, listen to hip hop, dance to a rap song, and just have fun. Displaying the different sides of you when you are around him.  

A diverse person looks very attractive. If he is going to look at you differently, you would have to look attractive. You need to put in extra effort in showing him that you are not just a boring, rough-looking ordinary girl. Turn him on with your lifestyle, conversation, and body language. You could even maintain eye contact and let him feel that attraction towards you. 

7. Be straightforward

Don’t joke about your feelings or what you want. You know you love this guy and you want to be his girlfriend, then why are you joking about it? Be clear about your feelings towards him.  If he thinks you are joking, there is a great chance he will laugh and forget it and you don't want that to happen. Would you like to be treated like a joke? 

Or, do you want to finally risk saying how you feel, only to be taken for granted? That’s why you have to get serious. Let him see some level of seriousness in your eyes and reaction, and know that you mean what you are saying. Be confidently expressive. 

8. Give 100% respect

When you take that bold step to ask out a friend, things won’t always go the way you planned or imagined. Nothing is certain here, so do not ruin the bond you have with him. No doubt, asking a friend out is tricky. He may think you have been pretending to be his friend all along and this may stare up an unpleasant feeling.  

Be clear that this is a zero-pressure zone and your friendship is very important as well. So always give respect when due and if you get signs that he does not have feelings for you, the best thing to do is back off Immediately. Stay in your friend zone, and respect what you already have. Take this as an adult. But if he gives a green light and you see something more is possible, then go for it and still maintain that respect. 

9. Ask questions

Question him but the most important thing is to question yourself first. 'Are you truly interested or this is just one cruise for you? ' 'what kind of relationship do you really want from him?' ' Are you ready to lose the friendship if things don’t work out? Once you’ve answered all these, you’ll be ready for the ride. 

Also, when questioning him, you must do it smartly. This way, he won’t understand what is going on. At the same time, you can give him some clue. From your conversations with him you will be able to know if he is interested in you, then hit it off from there and enjoy what happens next. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

FAQs

Is it a good idea to ask out a friend? 

There is nothing wrong with asking out a friend. However, before you do something like this, you should be very well prepared for whatever the outcome may be. This is because this can break your bond with the guy, especially if he doesn't feel the same way.

How do you ask a guy out who is your friend? 

You can start by buying him coffee or tea. Ask him out to the movies, use the extra ticket trick, and ensure he is in the right frame of mind when you are about to pop the question. And never forget to have an exit plan in case things don’t go well  

Do guys fall in love with their girl best friend? 

Yes, they do. This is quite normal since they are always around you. They get to know you so well and are very comfortable around you, this can lead to him catching feelings for you. 

How do you date a friend without ruining your bond? 

Pay attention to both your friendship and relationship, don’t ignore any of this aspect. Be sure everything is always in control, spend some quality time with them and don’t just assume, be open to corrections 

Should I confess to my friend? 

Yes, you can, but you must do this smartly. Going from friends to lovers might ruin a lot for you guys and at the same time, being with him can be the best feeling ever. So make sure you are ready for whatever the outcome might be. 

In Summary

I hope you found this article helpful. Before deciding if you want to go into a relationship with your friend, you must ask yourself if you really love him. This is because taking steps like this can either make or break your bond. So if you are not willing to lose your friend, then don’t do it. 

Let me know what you think, and please don't forget to share this article with others.  

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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