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Dating Someone With Anxiety

by Sonya Schwartz

Dating someone with anxiety can be a tough gig. As much as you love them, a partner’s anxiety can be draining for both you and your relationship. However, many people date someone with anxiety successfully and many people fall in love with an anxious partner. 

So how can it be done? And what can you do if you feel like your partner has anxiety issues? 

Here, we look at ways to identify people with anxiety disorder so that you can know full well a person’s mental health when you start falling for them. Knowing what the traits of this mental health condition are can then help you deal with the symptoms as constructively as possible. 

17 Ways To Identify People With Anxiety Disorder

A person does not have to exhibit all of the below symptoms of anxiety for them to be feeling anxious or suffering badly from any anxiety disorders. Instead, they may just show one or two of these symptoms. 

When that is the case, it can be difficult to pick up on when a person is acting as they are because of anxiety or an oncoming panic attack, or simply because their thinking patterns are different from yours. 

1. Nervousness

An extremely common trait of anxiety is feeling nervous. If you are dating a person with anxiety, you may well see them feeling and acting nervous a lot. If you know them to be confident in the home, or in situations that are familiar to them, but then act nervous when different challenges are set their way, you may well be in a relationship with a person with anxiety. 

2. Tiredness

Tiredness

It does not always appear logical to some, but it is actually exceedingly common for a person with an anxiety disorder to suffer from tiredness a lot of the time. Even if they seem to sleep all day every day, their tiredness is sometimes palpable and there does not seem to be much you can do to make them feel better. It seems that it takes them a lot of effort to get out of bed. 

Anxiety and depression are very often linked and tiredness is something that this mental health issue encourages. 

3. Insomnia

One of the reasons that someone with an anxiety disorder feels tired all of the time is that they suffer from insomnia. If your partner finds it very difficult to get to sleep despite feeling exceptionally tired it could be down to their mental health and the challenges that living with anxiety promotes. 

Getting into a good sleeping habit can be beneficial but difficult to do. If you are in a relationship with someone with insomnia due to any anxiety disorders, it can be exceedingly helpful to do some calm meditation with them before bedtime. Also small things like ensuring no screen time in bed materially improve their chances of a good night’s sleep.

4. Panicky

Of course, one of the key signals of a person with an anxiety disorder Is the fact that they can get easily panicked as this disorder is sometimes also commonly seen with panic disorder as well. 

Panic attacks in people with anxiety are exceedingly coming and need to be dealt with in a constructive and proactive way. If you are trying to help the partner’s anxiety or someone you love is prone to panic attacks, it can be highly beneficial for you and your relationship if you learn the best way to support your partner through such an attack.

5. Cancels plans at the last minute

One of the coping mechanisms of someone who has anxiety issues is not to put themselves in situations that make them nervous or panicky. If you are dating someone who has anxiety issues, you will therefore often see your partner canceling plans at the last minute for fear that they are putting themselves into a situation that makes them incredibly uncomfortable.

6. Sweating

The body reacts to situations where we feel nervous by sweating. If your partner suffers from anxiety you may often see them sweating in circumstances that you may not necessarily feel nervous yourself. This is down to the self-doubt that your partner’s anxiety encourages within them. 

As a result, your partner will sometimes be very sweaty in situations where they have not been doing any physical exercise or that are particularly hot. It is simply a bodily reaction to being nervous.

7. Breathing too quickly or hyperventilating

Breathing too quickly or hyperventilating

Something that brings panic attacks on is when a person cannot catch their breath because they are breathing too quickly or hyperventilating. 

If you notice your partner is breathing too quickly all of a sudden you may want to find a quiet spot for them to catch their breath back as well as overcome any negative thoughts or feelings that are encouraging the start of a panic attack.

8. Detail-oriented

Another coping mechanism for people who suffer from anxiety is to be exceptionally detailed oriented. This means that they will question you for very long periods of time before going out anywhere with you so that they can know what every scenario or potential risk might be in the future for them. 

It is so that they can work around any issues in their head so that they do not get overly nervous thus causing themselves a panic attack or any extra anxiety.

9. Inability to make decision

The fear that anxiety can promote in a person often also means that they are unable to make a decision at all let alone quickly if your partner’s anxiety is causing them difficulty in making decisions, they will either need you to support them through the decision-making process or happily make decisions for them. 

The latter can put a lot of pressure on you in your relationship but it may help your partner’s anxiety in the long run.

10. Irritability

One of the characteristics of anxiety disorder but not many people are aware of, is the fact that when someone is exceptionally anxious they can become very irritable. This can be very difficult if you are the partner of someone who suffers badly from anxiety. It may often mean that during your relationship you are on the short end of the tongue. 

If you think that this is a problem that is affecting your partnership with your other half, it can be a good idea to start setting boundaries about what he will and will not tolerate. Also, it is highly beneficial to have open lines of communication at all times during a relationship but at times when your partner is being irritable. You need to be able to call them out on behavior that hurts your feelings.

11. Avoiding people

Another way that your partner may display their anxiety is by avoiding people that they don’t particularly like. This is how people with anxiety cope. It is helpful to them because they can take control of any future situation that they would like to stay clear of. Some people will make your partner more nervous than others. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

By avoiding particular individuals your partner is able to take control of potentially stressful situations and not feel nervous or panicky at all.

12. Anger

Along with irritability, anger is another characteristic of anxiety that people often display. Again this can be difficult if you are in a relationship with a person with anxiety. Anger can often mean that you are always being blamed for certain things or simply arguing about issues that you would not ordinarily be troubled with. 

If you feel your partner is being unduly angry towards you and it is not called for, you do need to have the space to be able to tell them so without fear of causing more anxiety. Trying to identify situations where they might get angry before they happen, can therefore be a good preventative measure.

13. Stomach issues

Stomach issues

If your partner suffers from IBS or any other type of stomach issue, it can be linked to the anxiety disorder if you believe they have one. 

The adrenaline pumps through a person's body when they suffer from anxiety is that much more than someone who is not troubled with such a mental health issue. It can therefore cause an upset stomach and plague a person’s digestive system. Stomach issues are an often overlooked symptom of anxiety.

14. Insecure

People who suffer from anxiety are often exceptionally insecure too. If your partner suffers from acute insecurity it could be down to an anxious nature. Bearing that in mind trying to placate the insecurities by giving them compliments and simply being a supportive partner at all times. Doing so willingly a lot of their fears and help build up their confidence.

15. Fear of getting things wrong

The fear of getting things wrong is often what will exacerbate anxiety in a person. Trying to be perfect all the time is very commonly seen in people with an anxiety disorder. 

The flip side of that is that when they get things wrong they feel like a failure and the self-confidence is diminished even more. They have lost control and that is when they can start to panic and feel even more nervous. Ensuring that they know that you love them despite things not being perfect all the time will be helpful.

16. Seeing the risks in every situation

You will often see in a partner with anxiety that they see risks in absolutely every situation that you put yourself in. Even if you think you’re in the safest environment, they will see things that may go wrong or cause you or your family danger. Simply having patience in times like this will be exceptionally helpful to your partner.

17. Forgetful and distracted

One of the coping mechanisms often displayed in people with anxiety is being forgetful or distracted. This is because they’ve got so much else going on in their head when they are having periods of high anxiety as they will constantly be overthinking things and second-guessing themselves. 

As a result, they simply won’t have the mental capacity to remember everything will be as with it as they may often otherwise be.

FAQs

Is it hard to date someone with anxiety?

Dating a person with anxiety is tough. They can have some particular traits that can be difficult to live with. Plus someone with anxiety suffers more knowing that they are an anxious person - it means that they need a lot of love and support in certain situations. 

What should you not do when dating someone with anxiety?

Try not to change a person who has anxiety. Instead, you need to have a lot of patience and you need to just be there for them to support them. Be a constant in their life so that they do not fear that you will leave them - providing them with another source of anxiety. 

What dating someone with anxiety is like?

Dating a person with anxiety can be a tiring relationship at times. It requires both partners to talk through situations so that they both know how to cope with what is causing the person anxiety in the first place. Then, the partner needs to learn how best to help them. 

How do you date someone with severe anxiety?

Dating a man or woman with anxiety is perfectly possible. A happy healthy relationship will transpire if they both talk to each other and talk through issues that occur - as and when they happen. If a couple doesn’t talk through issues immediately, they can fester and become bigger than need be. 

Can anxiety ruin a relationship?

Mental health is a big part of any relationship. Anxiety can be something that undoubtedly causes strain on a couple which is why it is so crucial for two individuals to talk through problems as and when they arise so they do not become bigger problems than they ever should be. 

How To Have A Healthy Relationship When Dating A Person  With Anxiety - Key Takeaways

Having a healthy relationship when you were dating a person with anxiety can be difficult. But it is possible for you and your partner to be happy together if you are both open and honest with one another about how you are both feeling. 

Anxiety is undoubtedly a big strain on any relationship but it certainly does not have to define it. All you need to do is support your partner and for your partner to support you back to ensure that you can stand the test of time.

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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