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Dating A Lawyer (19 Tips For Dating A Lawyer)

by Sonya Schwartz

When people think of lawyers, rarely do they ever imagine a romantic hunk with great hair. For the most part, the physical attributes are out of their imagination and what they see is an arrogant, cocky man in an office who is always stressed out. On the contrary, lawyers are also regular humans like us except for one thing - relationship.

Before dating a lawyer, you need to know how they think, then understand their career. This will go a long way to save you from disappointments and prepare your mind for what is to come. You see, lawyers are thinkers, and their minds never stop working, so dating them requires communication, understanding, and patience. 

In this article, I will be creating a list of 19 tips for dating a lawyer. At the end of these lists, you will find that it is almost impossible to date a lawyer without learning at least one positive habit. So, let's get started on the things you should know before dating a lawyer.

19 Tips For Dating A Lawyer

1. Learn to make his favorite beverage

Learn to make his favorite beverage

Remember the saying which insists that the way to man's heart is through his belly? Well, that's right, except with this lawyer, he is more concerned about his beverage. Many lawyers love to have a hot beverage first thing in the morning to get them energized for the day's task. 

This beverage could be anything from coffee to tea and hot chocolate (even though we can all agree that coffee tops the chat). 

My point is; if you are living together, you should know his favorite beverage and learn to make it just the way he likes it. He will be happy to know he doesn't have to skip a cup, even on days where he is running late to the office.

2. Define your relationship

Lawyers are straight talkers, and they do not have the time to play relationship mind games. While this may seem like a positive trait, it could also work against you if you fail to define your relationship. If you want to be in a committed relationship with them, you will have to say so and ensure that they define it appropriately. 

You see, they are not mind-readers, and neither do they have the desire to guess what's on their minds. Therefore, dating a lawyer requires you to have good communication skills. 

Your statements, requests, and questions have to be clear and concise, with no room for misunderstandings. It is relatively easy for lawyers to draw up over ten different meanings from one statement.

3. The dynamics of your relationship may be different

I'm sure you have come across some relationships where their behavior pattern is not quite typical, but it seems like a situation that both parties understand. Well, that may or may not be the case if you choose to have a relationship with a lawyer; therefore, keep an open mind. 

First of all, lawyers sometimes have to put themselves in uncomfortable situations to get information and evidence for a case. So, don't be surprised if they ever want to use you as bait for someone or a spy, all in their attempt to win a case. The law profession can sometimes be ruthless, and situations like this may be one of the reasons.

4. Always have accurate stories

Ask any lawyer about a case they handled years ago and prepare to marvel at how much they remember. Lawyers have a knack for remembering just about anything and everything. I mean, what do you expect from people who had to memorize hundreds of age-old cases and laws to get a degree. 

When conversing with them, ensure that you are truthful, and even if you choose to tell a lie, ensure that it is believable beyond a reasonable doubt. Furthermore, try to avoid inconsistencies in your stories because they will pick up on even the slightest inconsistency

5. Maintain your independence

If you belong to the class of ladies who believe that having a boyfriend is a full-time job and, as such, they do not see the need to maintain friendships, then you are in for a run. 

When dating a lawyer, ensure that you do not neglect other areas of your life such as your career, family, social circle, and hobbies. Your lawyer boyfriend will be happy to date someone who has a passion for something.

So, quit waiting for the phone to ring and devote more time to doing what you enjoy. If possible, you can also invite him to your events to have an insight into the world. Remember, no person or man is worth halting communication with your social circle.

6. Have a sense of humor

Have a sense of humor

The law profession is not one that affords lawyers a lot of exciting days. Most days are stressful, gloomy, and too draining to discuss. So if you want to date a lawyer, you shouldn't be too uptight. Try to create a balance by being smart but with a sense of humor. 

Any lawyer will be happy to have a woman with a good sense of humor—someone who will make them laugh and forget about their gory days and work pile.

You can start by learning some corny jokes you think he will find funny, followed by finding humor to commonalities. That way, you can make light of situations and have him feeling better in seconds.

7. Have a flexible schedule with backup date plans

If your partner works with a law firm that could call him in at any time, then you must get used to him canceling on dates or not showing up. Sometimes, he may not have the time or opportunity to call and inform you ahead of time.

In times like these, there is no need to upset. If you have a flexible schedule, your disappointment will be minimal, and you can go ahead to implement your backup date plans. Your backup date plans can be shopping, going to the nail salon for a pedicure, or dates with girlfriends.

8. Be intentional with your dates

Now that you are aware of how high the chances of having to cancel a date can be, you should learn to make the most of whatever free time your partner may have. Lawyers tend to work late, and as such, they appreciate whatever little break they can get. 

So, instead of spending these moments on the couch, you can choose to do other activities such as going to a park, museum, or trying new restaurants. Whatever activity you choose to do at the end of the day, avoid the ones that require you to make non-refundable deposits because they can be canceled at any time due to their heavy workload.

9. Be supportive

Everyone will like to have a supportive partner, but for a lawyer, this is more than just a preference; it is a necessity. They try to steer clear of women who do not support them in their careers but choose to complain about their irregular work hours continually.

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If you notice that he has a heavy workload and has to return home late, do not try to complain or make it bother you; instead, support him by ensuring dinner is ready when he gets home and running him a hot bath to aid relaxation. 

10. Learn to be a good listener

Law practice can be mentally draining and stressful for lawyers. First, he has to deal with demands from his law firm, then the never-ending cases. All these can contribute towards making the life of a lawyer miserable, thereby making them have periodic outbursts.

Never take these outbursts personally, as they are mainly a product of work stress. Instead, learn to be a good listener and allow him to feel confident about discussing work troubles with you. After listening to him rant, try to engage him in non-legal conversations to help shift his attention to other light-hearted topics.

11. Lawyers are egoistic

It is a general belief that all men are egoistic, but I will not contest anyone who says the word 'ego' was created solely by lawyers. This attribute is prevalent with lawyers who excel in their career, work in the most prominent law firms, and earn more money. They will only want to associate themselves with people of high standards and a similar goal. 

In an average lawyer's mind, anyone who does not share a similar goal or job is less intelligent and smart. That being said, prepare for arguments where your partner will want to be right by all means. He is a sore loser and will rarely ever accept defeat without putting up a verbal fight.

12. Engage him in intellectual conversations

You will have a hard time dating a lawyer if you are not open to learning new things or engaging in intellectual conversation. A lawyer friend once told me he had to end a relationship because his girlfriend could not relate to most of his talks. 

Any guy will be happy to have a partner who can hold an intellectual conversation. He needs to know that you will be able to blend in with any crowd without embarrassing him. These conversations do not necessarily have to center around law or your respective careers, but they could be random debates with various topics.

13. Learn legal terms

Legalese is a term used to describe a lawyer's language, and that's because they communicate differently. So, if you want to chip into his conversations with a lawyer friend, you will have to expand your vocabulary to include some of these legal terms.

This does not mean you have to read every book about the law profession; however, you can start by understanding the common terms they use, such as clients, juror, jurisdiction, oath, and allegation. When you are not sure of something, don't be afraid to ask questions, the goal is to learn and I am sure he will be more than happy to explain.

14. Learn to be punctual

The average lawyer is always time conscious, and he can account for how he intends to spend his day. From the number of hours, he spends at the office to how long it takes for him to commute home. I mean, what do you expect from people who make a living from billing clients for their time.

When you are dating a lawyer, you have to make sure that punctuality becomes a habit. Their time is precious, and they will hate to waste it waiting for someone who comes late or, worse, never shows up. This is one positive behavior that most women who have gone on dates with lawyers can attest to it rubbing off on them.

15. You will attend formal parties

You will attend formal parties

If socializing is something you enjoy, then dating a lawyer will be a thrill. Lawyers tend to attend a lot of high-profile parties and sometimes have the best seats. It is not uncommon to meet people of high caliber and class at these events, and they are great avenues to network and build useful connections. 

On the other hand, if you are not much of a social bird, you can choose to learn social etiquette basics like dressing, eating with the right cutlery, and engaging in conversations. Knowing how to act in public around such people will boost your confidence over time, thereby allowing you to get comfortable with them.

16. Have a good dress sense

As the partner of a lawyer, you have to have a robust but classy wardrobe. You see, they attend many parties, and he will always want you to look your best for those events. Remember, he is egoistic, and this transcends to how much attention he pays to his outfits and how his partner dresses. 

Build your wardrobe to include lots of formal outfits that you can wear for events hosted by his law firm. You can also consider the use of rental services if you are trying to avoid buying new clothes.

17. Set boundaries around discussions

Anyone who has ever been in a relationship with a lawyer understands the difficulty of setting boundaries. This is challenging because of their job nature, which sometimes requires them to work during off-hours. 

However, you can choose to set boundaries in your relationship by deciding if discussing work on dates is okay or not. It is best to have this conversation early in your relationship to ensure that you both are on the same page.

18. Be Spontaneous

Spontaneity is an attribute that any lawyer will want their partner to possess. You see, the job of a lawyer requires him to be a fast thinker, and as such, they will be happy to be with someone who can beat them to this game. 

Be open to trying new things and plan surprises for him no matter how little, even if it is taking dinner to his office on days when he has to work late.

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19. Their work always comes first

If you are dating a lawyer, you need to know that their job always comes first. You will always come second place in their eye. While this may not be a fun fact, to know it is to know peace, and it does not mean he doesn't love you, he views his commitment to his work as an obligation.

You will have to get used to him canceling dates or the chances to spend quality time with you because of work. It's one of the crosses that anyone who wants to be in a relationship with a lawyer will have to bear.

FAQs

Who do lawyers usually marry?

It is not uncommon to find lawyers who marry themselves, but that's usually because they like to be around like-minds and people who challenge them. This does not mean you have to be a lawyer in order to marry one, but you have to be smart and understand the dynamics of their work.

Are lawyers good in bed?

To answer if lawyers are good in bed, we need to know the makeup of great sex. It usually involves communication, attention, and dedication. These are three attributes lawyers tend to possess, and you can find them demonstrating it in every area of their lives, including the bedroom. So, I will say yes, lawyers are good in bed.

Is it legal to date your lawyer?

It is not legal to date your lawyer if your relationship did not exist before the representation. If you choose to go ahead, the chances are that your lawyer can be disbarred. On the other hand, if you both had an existing relationship before representation, it is legal to date

Is it a good idea to marry a lawyer?

Marrying a lawyer is like subscribing to a lifetime show of law and order, and who doesn't want that? My point is, you will never get bored with a lawyer because they have a lot of courtroom stories to tell. Additionally, you can always seal an argument with your girlfriends by saying, 'my lawyer husband said..' no one can argue with that after all, lawyers are always right.

Why are lawyers so unhappy?

Although lawyers earn a lot of money, many of them are indeed unhappy, usually for several reasons. The average young lawyer usually has a lot of workload with insanely tight deadlines. Furthermore, their job's nature makes them pessimistic, and their need to be overachievers can sometimes lead to depression, thereby making them unhappy people.

In Conclusion

Don't let anyone tell you that dating a lawyer is like dating any man out there because it isn't; they think differently and can sniff a lie from a mile away.  

I hope you enjoyed reading this list of tips you should know before dating a lawyer and found them helpful. As usual, I look forward to reading from you in the comment section and don't forget to share with friends and family.

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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