I’m tempted to say something cliché, like age, is irrelevant when it comes to love, but I won’t. As romance goes, there are certainly perks to being young. In later life, we have limitations such as being less prone to spontaneity and having wised up from experience. Nevertheless, optimistic mature dating statistics suggest your chances of finding love after 60 are pretty good.
Since 2007, the number of 50 and older partners cohabiting has risen by 75%. It’s proof people your age are out here loving up, and you too can find your perfect match, or something close. With a positive attitude and a bit of luck, these quick tips should get you closer to finding the right person.
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At 60, you probably have accumulated baggage memories from past relationships. Perhaps you are widowed, divorced, or never got married. It’s natural to hold on to years of history, as is your right. But if you’re looking to get back out there, you have to tuck those memories deeper into your heart so you can make room for new ones.
Don’t go looking for your ex-husband or wife on potential dates because it’ll reflect on how you relate with them, and I doubt anyone would appreciate that. If you never got around to sustain a romantic relationship and you’re looking to settle down now, the same principle applies.
You may need to reevaluate what made you wait this long and how to keep it from deterring you any longer.
Single women and men over 60 are likely to have either become disillusioned about love or experienced their epic romance. Dating can seem pointless when you’ve all “been there, done that” or close yourself off from online dating, thinking that no one can measure up.
If you’re keen on finding love, start by facing that little voice in your head asking, “Are you sure, at this age?” Begin to view love in a positive light again, so the process of finding it can be exciting for you. Make a mental checklist of what you have to offer and know that there's more than a handful of someones—possibly already in your orbit, looking for precisely that.
One thing friends of every age group have in common is their unique position to fix one up. Once you are ready to start dating, your network should be the first thing you take advantage of. Someone you’re close to may know or find just the right single person for you.
Plus, their recommendations will be more on point compared to online dating since they know you personally. If you’d prefer to keep things under wraps until the relationship gets serious, you can limit the number of people you tell. But try not to keep it all to yourself. Be nice to have someone to carry along your stories as you rehone your dating game.
I know the testimonies about online dating haven’t all been good, but people of all ages find love on the internet every day. And it’s not just on dating sites. Your Facebook, LinkedIn, or whatever social media you frequent is also a great place to meet people.
You can ease yourself back into dating by flirting with people you like in person. This includes those from your past or age-appropriate strangers on your timeline. Whatever feels right. If you are going the online dating route, remember you have all the power in this new stage of life.
Also remember that you are more likely to meet your soul mate sooner on a site that caters to your specific interests, than sites that adopt the one-size-fits-all approach.
If you already have an active social life, you may not even need to deviate from your usual routine to find potential love interests. Places you frequent, like the park, book/coffee shop, or the gym, are filled with people you evidently have something in common with. And there may be more where that came from if you’d just talk to them.
Try to bring the game to your book clubs and volunteer groups instead of keeping them strictly business. At the very least, it will make attending more fun for you. You can also boost your odds of meeting someone by taking a physical class or joining an activity group that regularly gets you out of the house.
The dating scene may have evolved some since you’ve been away (be it due to married life or another reason). But honesty is still your best bet at something real. If you’re finding love after 60, you are likely self-aware enough to know what you want. To make the experience more rounded, try to also keep an open mind about what you’re looking for.
At age 60, I imagine you don’t want to spend resources that should go into living your best life playing games. Make the future you want out of dating (or are least open to) clear to avoid wasting anyone’s time. If you want to get married, for instance, don’t lure a date in with talks of a casual relationship to spring commitment on them later on.
Like I said earlier, there are certain restrictions to dating as a boomer compared to younger age groups. While those limitations don’t necessarily mean you can’t find love after 60, they ought to make you manage your expectations, so you don’t end up disappointed.
For instance, you may no longer be able to drop everything at a moment’s notice to spend time with a new partner due to your obligations. If you date someone in your age group, you will also want to factor that into how available you expect them to be.
Another instance is the matter of intimacy. The people you meet will almost certainly have a different appetite in and out of the sack than you’re used to. That’s not counting possible health limitations. It will take some work, but again, the trick is not to weigh them against the partner you divorced or lost.
Another expectation you should probably manage is how your loved ones are likely to take the news of you getting back out there. No matter their age, kids don’t like it when their parents get romantically involved with someone other than their other parent.
If yours are grown enough, they may eventually come to terms with your new date or relationship when they see how happy it makes you. But you can guarantee they’ll have initial reservations. That’s why it’s good to know what you want so you can stand your ground long enough to put their minds at ease.
If you don’t find what/who you’re looking for right away, don’t let the fact that your relatives don’t approve anyway keep you from keeping on.
Besides the lower odds of settling for anything less than a healthy relationship, another perk of dating at 60+ is the sense of freedom. By that age, you are not driven by a biological urge to procreate and are less likely to approach relationships as a means of securing your future.
Take advantage by enjoying the process instead of rushing to some invisible finish line, whatever that is for you. No one expects you to entertain prospects you don’t care for anymore. So feel free to reject those you don’t want. When it’s your turn to get rejected, chalk it up to the game.
Finally, don’t make finding love into some overly intellectual project. Make an adventure of it and have fun. Draw on your life experience, sure, but also try to play it by ear and enjoy life while at it.
Though you are more likely to become disillusioned about love the older you get, you can find true love at any age. On the plus side, with age comes clarity, freedom, and a wide range of life experience that makes dating more enjoyable. Most people over 60 in the dating scene are looking for companionship and are thus vulnerable to falling in love from relational attachment.
Yes, a man in his sixties can fall in love. More importantly, he is more likely to mean it when he says the ‘L’ word because people tend to be more authentic and intentional about relationships at that age.
Hang around places where the kind of man you want is likely to hang out. Sign up for activity groups within the niche of the interests you’re most attracted to, be it wine club, hiking, or volunteering. You can also meet potential love interests looking for mature people online via social media and dating services.
Between busier schedules, series of heartbreaks, and more responsibilities, love tends to drop on people’s priority scale as they get older. Despite this, however, if it’s meant to happen, it still does. People at that age know better than to let emotions alone drive them, so falling in love alone is no guarantee they’ll pursue it.
A man in his sixties will likely be looking for a woman who has a sense of humor and is in touch with her youth. A woman who can fill his need for companionship and one who offers him peace of mind. Someone he can unwind and enjoy life with on his terms without being rushed to the next stage.
So, does falling in love at 60 and above feel a little more doable after reading this? Feel free to share in the comments what you think of the piece, along with pointers of your own and your experience with mature dating. Also, share the article if you found it worthwhile.