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Am I Texting Him Too Much? (5 Ways To Know)

by Sonya Schwartz

Back in the day when there were no phones to communicate, people poured out their souls into letters, gifts, and mostly just personal conversations. When cell phones came out it made things easier. You could send a message and get an instant reply. 

When it comes to millennial dating, everything has a code of conduct. That’s why there are so many questions such as “Am I giving the right energy?”, “Am I using the right emoji?” “Am I sending too many texts?”. It is something that should concern people still in the dating game, and those in committed relationships as well.

There are no rules written in stone on how many text messages you should send, but in time, you’ll surely realize something is off. As you keep dating this person, what you do will either push him away or bring him closer, and sending texts the right way should help. 

As I said, I can’t tell you how many texts to send every day, but there are attitudes the person you’re dating exhibits. That should tell you when the texts are going overboard. 

Also, texting is not rehearsed, it is supposed to be spontaneous and free-flowing, so when it’s not, something is probably wrong. With that said, this article will give you clues to figure out if you are breaking the dating text rules.

5 Ways To Know If You’re Texting A Guy Too Much

1. Short replies

Have you ever poured your heart into a text message only to get a reply like ‘Lol’ or ‘Yeah’?. At this point, he is exhausted—you have squeezed all his brain juice and his communication skills have reduced to zero. When you’re dating, everything has to be fun and exhilarating, once you’ve crossed that line, it’s easier for the other person to get bored.  

If you sent a long and thoughtful text but received a ‘Lol’ or “Yeah I get you”, know that these are conversation killers. If you feel like your story is going to be a long one, then pick up the phone and place that call, or wait till the next meet. Don't bore him with long text messages.

2. Late replies

Late replies

There is nothing that tells if “you are texting too much” more than late replies—regardless of the reason. You don't want to appear too needy to him. If he waits to reply, then wait too. I know it's difficult to just sit and watch your phone beep but whatever energy you are given is what you should give out as well. 

There are some situations where you will definitely get late replies; such as when he is at work, having his bath, etc. Such situations can’t be avoided. However, if it happens too often, it’s time to step back and evaluate how you text. 

3. He leaves you on ‘Delivered’

You begin to notice that his ‘urgent’ replies aren't so urgent anymore. He probably has read it from the notification bar and doesn't want you to know he has read your message, so he leaves it on “D”. He knows that if he responds you will send another text immediately, so he is biding his time, and probably waiting for you to do something else.

It's up to you to get the message and take a few steps back. Chances are that the situation will improve if you give him some time. Also, no matter how bad you want to, try not to text at odd hours or on days you know he is busy.  

4. Double texting

As I said, there are rules when it comes to millennial dating when you find yourself breaking those rules, you need to find your way back to redemption quickly before you lose touch. Double texting is basically a rule that you aren't supposed to text a person twice without getting a reply. This means your chat history shouldn’t be mostly one-sided. 

Pick up your phone and scroll through your chat. If you notice it's all blue (for imessage) just know you are breaking the rules. Tone down on the double texting, let him reply to the first message before you send another text. If you haven't got a text back, don't think he hasn't seen your text because he has. 

Even if he doesn't text back for days, don’t worry about it. At this point, if he’s giving you an attitude, then it’s time to start making plans to exit such a relationship.

5. Conversations are dull

If you are the type to always initiate a conversation, chances are that he will just be replying or responding to what you are saying. You have to know the kind of person you are texting; just read the energy and observe. Is he chatty? You may feel like there’s no harm in chatting away, but it’s supposed to be an enjoyable two-way communication. 

So, if he only replies after you send one text, it’s time to step back and wait for him to make the next move. One-sided conversations can also be a thorn in the side—this is one of the millennial rules you should take note of. If the chat is one-sided chances are you are boring him. 

FAQs

How do I know if I’m texting too much?

Texting is deeper than just keypads buttons or whatever you are using. There has to be an emotional connection, a certain energy has to be felt if you want the conversation to flow. In cases like these you can either switch to phone calls or just let him be for a while, it is possible that after the break. Both of you will have more things to say. 

Do you text your crush everyday?

It depends on the level of connection you have with your crush. You guys must have met a couple of times or even spoken on the phone for a while for you to consider texting every day. Also, you have to ensure he’s not dating someone else. Plus, when you keep doing the same thing over and over again—it gets tiring. So, it is advised not to text your crush every day, and give him the opportunity to miss you.

Do guys like when girls text first?

A girl texting first is considered a bold step because of the societal norm. But what happens when the rules are broken? Some guys really fancy this especially when the girl is hot, the level of confidence can be seen as sexy and it kind of makes things easier. The only downside to this is the girls think they lose their respect by making such bold moves.  If you feel confident, shoot your shot. Don't adopt the societal norm, you might just get what you want.

Why did he stop texting?

There are a lot of reasons why a guy would stop messaging you. When you fully acknowledge these factors then will you be able to answer this question. The first factor is the guy’; is he the texting type? Is he shy? Does he know how texting works? Is he always busy? Does he like me? Etc. The next factor is ‘you’; do you text too much? Do you say the wrong things? Are you choosing the right topics? Do you text at odd hours? Answering questions like these will shed more light on the issue. 

Is texting too much a red flag?

Texting too much can only be a red flag if the energy is one-sided— at some point it either makes you clingy or needy. Nobody really likes being bombarded with texts, it’s better to call him when you have a lot to say. And also learn how to shorten your messages, shorter messages are easier to retain.

The Bottom Line

I hope you enjoyed this article. Don't forget to take note of the energy you both give and receive while texting, these are important to how your conversations will go. Also, make sure you don't over text him, let things flow naturally.

 Let me know what you think about this article in the comments section below, also share this article with your friends and family. Cheers.

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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