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Why Men Give Silent Treatment After Breakup (And How To Deal With It)

Last updated on June 6, 2022 by Sonya Schwartz

Is your ex giving you the silent treatment? 

Is this upsetting you? Are you desperate to know how he’s getting on? 

Perhaps you’re wondering why or how he can ghost you after all you went through?

If so, read on because this guide reveals the main reasons why men give the silent treatment after they break up with someone. 

However, before these reasons are revealed, I want to share an exciting story with you. 

Recently, I discovered this powerful yet discreet background checker tool online. 

With just a few of your ex’s details, this tool will provide you with a wealth of data regarding his recent communications. 

You can discover who he’s been frequently communicating with, what smartphone apps he’s been downloading, plus any new contact details he has registered. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg!

Best of all, there’s no way he can realize he’s being tracked. 

If you’re desperate to know what’s going on in his life, this tool will give you the answers. 

Perhaps this will help you realize why he doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. 

Either way, this guide suggests some of the most common reasons.

1: He’s Trying To Deal With Your Breakup

Just because he chose to break up with you, it doesn’t mean that your ex isn’t suffering too. As, although he doesn’t think you’ll both work as a couple or that it’s the right time for you both to be together, he will still have some feelings for you.

Which can make it very hard when he knows he shouldn’t be with you, to talk to you. As without the silent treatment – especially right now when the breakup was so recent – he might just find himself wanting to get back together. So, to protect himself, he chooses zero contact with you for the time being, as this will let you both get the time needed to heal.

Just remember, even though you’re ready to be friends, he might not be quite there yet – so don’t force it!

2: He Might Miss You

If you chose to initiate the breakup, it might be too hard for your ex to speak to you right now. As, without the silent treatment, it just feels too like you’re back together which could be heart-breaking for him. Even if he chose the breakup, he might want to avoid talking to you as he misses you but knows you shouldn’t be together.

By keeping a distance, you can both spend time distancing yourself from that breakup and all the feelings involved. Which means, you will both be able to move forward far quicker than you would if he hadn't chosen to give the silent treatment.

3: Your Ex Wants To Hurt You

Of course, not every breakup is a simple one. Indeed, when many relationships end, there will be a level of bitterness on at least one party’s side. Indeed, your ex might want to hurt as you broke up with him. Or, he might have broken up with you but still wants to hurt you, so he will choose to give you the silent treatment to punish you. Which will be especially hurtful if you want your ex back.

If you’re on the receiving end of silent treatment from your ex and you believe he’s doing this out of spite, look on the bright side. You might be upset that you’re no longer with him but you’ve clearly dodged a lot of bullets by escaping that relationship.

4: Your Ex Is Setting Boundaries

All too often, when we contact an ex, it’s because we want to get back together with that ex. Which is something that often works, as by starting to chat again, it can lead to flirting and even meeting up. Just think, though, we all know a couple that are continuously going from breakup to reunion back to breakup. For most of us, we just wish they’d stay apart for good, as clearly, they’re not suited to be together.

So, by deciding to give the silent treatment, your ex is likely setting boundaries. As, by stopping all contact for a small amount of time at least, those feelings shouldn’t be as raw and when you do decide to talk it should hopefully be in more of a friend’s capacity. Think of it as a type of social distancing that is best for the both of you in the long run.

5: He Wants A Fresh Start

It doesn’t matter if you choose the breakup or it was yours when it comes to the end of a relationship, sometimes it easier to have a fresh start. However, this isn’t always as easy as you might believe, as one of you always takes the choice to send over a text – normally after a few drinks.

If he has taken the choice to give you the silent treatment, it’s most likely that he’s looking to get a fresh start away from your relationship. He doesn’t want to get together with you again and he’s instead looking to heal and move on.

This might not be ideal for you, especially if you thought you might rekindle your relationship; however, you’ve got to take his feelings into consideration and if he wants to move on, you need to let him go.

How Do You Cope With He Gives The Silent Treatment?

How Do You Cope With He Gives The Silent Treatment?

Although you might know why men give the silent treatment, it doesn’t mean it’s a pleasant experience. However, it doesn’t need to be the end of the world, especially if you employ a few coping mechanisms to help you through what could be considered a very upsetting time in your life.

1: Vent To Friends

If it’s one thing your friends understand, it’s how frustrating men can be. So, if your ex is giving you the silent treatment, look elsewhere for a chat. Which is where a friend comes in. Either give them a call or a message on social media to let them know what has happened. Before you know it, you’ll both be chatting away about how bad he was for you and how much better you can do with someone else.

It might sound simple, but by chatting to a friend you can really boost your self-confidence and romantic hope again. As, although you miss that past relationship, you now know that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Who knows, your friends might even have someone new and exciting to introduce you too!

2: Don’t Over Analyze Everything He Does

Did he ever call you the needy one in the relationship? Well, don’t worry, as many women get told this in a relationship, so you’re not alone. The truth is, men and women are wired very differently, which makes us act differently.

For one, if he posts anything online He Does e – such as a photograph – women will want to analyze this to death, asking what it means and whether he’s with someone else. If you want to cope through this silent treatment though, you need to let it go. As, when men post something, it’s not generally done to mean a whole lot of hidden meetings. More likely, he thought he looked good so he wanted to share it. The best you can do is completely ignore it – no comments or likes! This will show you’re not sitting looking for every little thing he might be posting.

3: Talk To Someone New

You might not feel like it, but if you really want to take your mind off your ex, you should talk to someone new. This doesn’t mean that we’re telling you to find love again. Rather, we’re advising you to download a few apps and have some fun.

You see, when a breakup happens, most of us really miss the companionship that your relationship brought. After all, you might contact your friends a lot, but it’s unlikely you would talk to them more than you would a boyfriend. So, by talking to some new men, you can enjoy some flirting and the type of conversations you would have with your ex. True, you might not be ready to go out on a date with one of these men, but there’s absolutely no harm in chatting with a few men to get you over the fact you’re missing your old boyfriend.

Who knows, you might even find that when you weren’t actively looking for a relationship with a new person, you actually found the guy that was perfect for you.

The silent treatment might feel cruel in a breakup, however, what no one tells you is that - more often than not - it's exactly what a breakup needs. So, forget your ex and try to move on. In a few month's time, you will be proud of yourself for being so strong and adult about it all!

Do you feel like all you think about is him, but he only thinks about himself?
This doesn't mean he doesn't like you. You have to understand how he is wired. Once you do, you'll find there is a subtle thing you can say that to him that will drastically change how he shows his emotions towards you.

Take this quick quiz that looks at whether he actually likes you or not!

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

3 comments on “Why Men Give Silent Treatment After Breakup (And How To Deal With It)”

  1. My ex partner was violent anyway me mental and physical and I have had 19years of it and I really just had enough of it .And he stole my son Juwlreley baby werst bags and they are really and cost a lot from me and my dad and step mum got them for Andrew when he w new born baby . And when my son Andrew past away 3 days after my ex had me lock in a bathroom. And he is I will let you out when let me what you did to Andrew . I started to cry and become hastercal because I was devastated and I was already on the road of a break down .Because I love my baby boy he was .uk world and I was so lockup to go have a who is so beautiful and I felt on top of the world when he comes in to my life because he was beautiful baby baby . And I felt like I was a millionaire because he is my perfect baby boy . Because he was mommy's little .and I was so very happy to be his mummy . And what!y ex did to was evil and mental abuses and he was enjoying it because I have just lost and cried because the though he was big laugh .And I was a great mummy . I really loved.I baby boy and I the bond that is there the moment I held my baby boy .And now I have have just had enough and if I stay I know him well really hurt and he could kill and I don't want to end up beating here and there no working though it . It over

  2. I give the Silent Treatment because I don't want to get hurt even further.
    My last realtionship ended almost 5 months ago.
    She made it clear that we shouldn't stay in contact and I have to respect that.
    She was cruel, mean and bitter on our last conversation. She yelled at me and blamed me for things she did and said. Yes, I made mistakes but so did she.

    I honestly think that she doesn't miss me at all.
    I think that she's happier and having fun without me.
    I haven't checked her social media since the breakup and I'm proud of that.
    I've been working on myself and I'm doing great.

    Yes, I still think off her day and night, I still love her and I smile everytime I remember stuff we did and said. I miss her. There have been girls asking me out lately, and I don't feel ready to do it.
    I wish we could fix things and give it another try.
    We were really great together. It was the best relationship I've ever had.
    But, I don't think that's ever gonna happen.

  3. I know the possibility of this to work out is not worth all the pain, and I'm sure you all know if it's gonna work or probably not? World is big and alone okay better than chasing a ghost with pain.

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