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What to Do When a Man Abruptly Ends a Relationship

February 8, 2024

An abrupt breakup is one of the worst experiences any woman can have in her lifetime, since breakups generally come with a series of emotional and mental trauma, according to a 2011 study published in the Journal of Family Psychology1. If you've ever been in such an instance, trust you're not alone: many of us have been there too.

When a man abruptly ends a relationship, there's a lot that runs through your mind after the breakup. Some of these include why things had to end so suddenly and whether or not you were a good partner. Were there any red flags you might've missed? What things do you need to work on before moving on?

Sometimes, you can ask your ex partner these questions. Other times, you might not. If you fall under the second category, we give you some possible reasons to think about when a man abruptly ends a relationship in the following paragraphs.

7 Possible Reasons a Man Abruptly Ended Your Relationship

1. He is still not over his past relationships

The truth hurts, but sometimes, moving on becomes easier when you hear it. One of the most common reasons a man abruptly ends a relationship is that he's still not over his ex-girlfriend. It could also be because said ex-girlfriend is ready to reconcile. 

If he came into the relationship carrying repressed emotions and baggage from his previous love life, this will likely create a wall between the two of you, ultimately leading to the end of the relationship. 

Sad and Depressed Man

2. He doesn't feel good enough for you 

When a man abruptly ends a relationship, it could be not because of you or what you did per se, but rather how he feels about you. It is possible that while he loves and admires you, he doesn't see himself as an equal partner to you. This is usually because he might think that you deserve better, and he might be unable to live up to your expectations.

Also, he might suffer from personal issues that cause intense insecurity. Anytime a man abruptly ends a relationship because he claims you deserve better, thank your stars and make a run for it.

3. His needs were not being met

You can spend time with someone for weeks or months, but when their needs aren't met, it can feel as though you weren't even there. A man ends a relationship without warning or discussion because of his unmet needs. This is one of the many reasons several relationships move from the honeymoon phase and end abruptly. 

The needs don't refer to only sexual but other aspects of their life such as their intellectual and physical needs. The easiest way to know whether or not your partner's needs are being met in the relationship is to know their love languages. It might be physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service and many more. You'll need to speak their language effortlessly to keep your partner happy. 

Without this knowledge, your partner might not be as emotionally invested as he should be, resulting in a sudden breakup.

4. He can't feel any chemistry between the two of you

When the chemistry is lacking in relationships, it's easy for them to end abruptly and for people to question their self-worth. Most relationships start out fiery, with the honeymoon phase feeling all passionate and both of you hungry for each other. 

Probably during the initial stages of your relationship, both of you had the most mind-blowing sex. Intense intimacy makes it easy to get emotionally invested with your partner. The relationship slowly develops into something more emotional, and you can feel warm towards your partner. 

As expected with all long-term relationships, the passion can lessen with time. While many of us think this happens because of a lack of intimacy and love, it might not be the reason. 

It's just something that comes with being in a long-term relationship. It is incredibly important that at such a stage, you both become intentional about working through the low moments, working hard to keep the chemistry and spark alive. 

Arguing Couple in the Bedroom

5. He thinks there's no compatibility

Every good companionship is made up of two compatible people. You both need to be of the same mindset, as compatibility is one essential thing that keeps you together. When you're compatible, your relationships have a lot of peace and harmony.

If you don't respect each other's hobbies, values and beliefs, you're most likely not compatible, and as such, most guys will steer clear of moving the companionship forward. 

With good compatibility comes a strong, independent companionship. When a man ends a relationship, it might be because you disagree on everything, and there's never any compromise from either side. 

6. He has unrealistic expectations

Another reason a man ends a relationship abruptly is because he is over-waiting for you to meet his expectations. Maybe, when he met you the first time you struck him as 'the one', which is why he set out to have a companionship with you. 

But as the relationship progressed, he realized that you have certain “flaws” he decided he could not live with, and he was left wondering whether or not to steer clear of you.

In another light, he might have been a selfish boyfriend who is looking for the one partner who is perfect in every way. No one is perfect and as such, having unrealistic expectations is more of a ‘him’ issue.

7. He has personal issues

Single life is the best for people with personal issues or those going through a personal crisis. When a person has problems, such as the death of a loved one, he might need time and space to heal from his pain and negative thoughts. 

If this is why your boyfriend abruptly ends your relationship, don't beat yourself up about it. It's less of you and more of the fact that he has other priorities to focus on. 

If a man abruptly calls for you to break up because of this, you need to remember that it has nothing to do with you. He needs to engage in self-care to find himself again before getting into a relationship with any other girl. 

10 Tips to Get Over a Relationship that Ended Abruptly

When there is an abrupt end to your relationship, it is normal for you to experience a wide range of emotions, such as questions about your self-image, rage, sadness, and even fear. When the relationship abruptly ends, you might wonder what your next best step should be. The following paragraphs suggest what to do in such a scenario.

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Whether you're married or have just started seeing someone, infidelity rates are on the rise and have increased over 40% in the last 20 years, so you have all the right to be worried.

Perhaps you want to know if he's texting other women behind your back? Or whether he has active Tinder or dating profile? Or worse yet, whether he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

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1. Give yourself time

You're human: you're allowed to feel your feelings, so don't try to resist feeling everything. It's alright to grieve the loss of someone you had started dating, so give yourself enough time to get over the breakup. Do not look for new partners while getting over a companionship that abruptly ended. 

The best time to move on is when you feel that the thought of your old relationship doesn't bring you any kind of pain. When there's no additional emotion attached to thoughts of your ex, it might mean you have cut ties with those emotions and are ready to move on fully into a new relationship. 

Giving yourself time can mean different things to different people. For you, it might refer to two months or two years, while for others, they might be fine in two weeks. Depending on why your long-term relationship ended abruptly, you would need a certain amount of time and space to take care of yourself and your heart. 

2. Don't follow him on social media

Your relationship can abruptly end for varying reasons, and when it does, you need to learn to let go. You don't need to know everything going on with your ex-boyfriend. You must avoid spying on his social networks after the breakup has become final. 

What you see might differ greatly from reality and leave you more depressed or frustrated than before. So, if you prioritize your mental health and want to heal as fast as possible, you should strive to not get in touch with an ex through social media, a phone call or a text message. 

Woman on her cellphone

3. Try to figure out why it happened

Don't be afraid to find out why the breakup happened. If you can't ask directly, be sure to examine the relationship, especially the events that took place in weeks or days leading up to the end of the relationship. 

The final result of your introspection might show signs leading up to the final break day, with him possibly acting unnaturally sometimes prior. 

Also, you might have had a fight during which certain words were said that you might have overlooked. When you can answer the question, 'why did he leave me with no explanation?' it becomes easier for you to move on with your life and figure out how best to improve yourself for your next relationship. 

4. Avoid blaming yourself

Every relationship takes two people to work. Thus, you must avoid putting all the blame on yourself. Both partners are responsible for their mistakes, and your relationship's ability to survive will depend largely on both of you. So no, after what transpired before, during or after your breakup, it is not right to place all of the blame on yourself. 

Since this is true, the other side remains true as well – own up to your participation in what happened. It might've been little things that came together to result in a breakup but no matter what, remember that both parties had a part to play in how things turned out. 

There are different reasons why guys break up suddenly, and you need to know that many of those reasons will involve both of you. 

5. Seek support

So many things can happen after the end of one relationship to floor you for the rest of your entire life. During those moments, you'll require a lot of support to overcome all your feelings of uncertainty and abandonment. When your ex ends a relationship with you, and you feel you need help to move on, it might be best to reach out to your loved ones and friends. 

They don't need to be with you physically, but you can have a healthy exercise in every relationship where you get to have a heart-to-heart with your loved ones. You can even spend time with them during your grieving process to ensure you don't overwhelm yourself with emotions.

If you still need more support, we recommend seeing a therapist or a professional coach whose job is to help you to figure out the best ways to move on with your life. You can end relationships without breaking your soul, but if your heart is so broken you can't move on, you'll need to reach out to loved ones for support. 

6. The no-contact rule

In the same way we advise against checking his social media accounts, we also recommend trying the no-contact rule. This is a great way to get over your breakup and also to become perfectly happy with the turn of events, especially when your man abruptly ends your relationship. 

He might reach out to you after some time but try your best not to pick up. It is in your best interest because this practice enables you to glow up and maintain your dignity, remain strong and show that when a man abruptly ends a relationship with you, he can't come back and play with you however he wants. 

You might not be able to mend your broken heart quickly, but avoiding contact can help speed up the process and have you on the right path in no time. 

7. Search for closure yourself

When a man abruptly ends things with you, it might seem impossible for you to get closure on your own. The good news is many others have been in your shoes and have gotten the closure they need as a dumpee. If you follow this advice to the letter, you're most likely to get the closure you deserve. 

Closure is essential because, without it, you're a human being walking around with a lot of emotional baggage that won't allow you to enjoy a good and healthy relationship with another man. You deserve the world, so don’t be afraid to work hard at moving forward as soon as possible. 

8. Get rid of negative energy

Negative energy is the worst. I have been in countless situations where I allowed negative energy to get the best of me. Thankfully, with support from friends and family, and professional help from therapists, I was able to pull through. How? Exchanging my negative thoughts for positive ones. If I could do it, I believe you can too. 

Let all your negative thoughts out, and keep positive ones only. To get rid of negative energy, you must let go of all the thoughts and emotions that don't make you feel good. It is true that a man abruptly ends a relationship, and the woman can be left depressed and downcast, but bear in mind that everything that went on happened for a reason. 

Don't think about what happened too much, but rather, surround yourself with cheerful, positive people who make it a point to take your mind off everything that has happened. 

Woman Doing Yoga To Feel Good

9. Fall in love again

Don't be in a hurry, but avail yourself of the idea of falling in love again because you deserve to find the best man out there for you. Work on forgetting your ex and looking forward to someone who will treat you the way you deserve. 

Not all men are out to hurt you – there’s a huge number of men out there who will love you, refuse to use you, and never dump you like you mean nothing. The best part about this is ,when you finally meet the man meant for you, he will be the best thing to happen to your life, and it's going to be so beautiful. 

When a man abruptly ends a relationship, it’s always going to work for your good because you learn from your mistakes, set new boundaries and meet people who appreciate you.

10. Self-care is the best care

And no, we are not talking about face masks, body scrubs and half a gallon of ice cream. Self-care refers to focusing on your wellness by indulging in healthy exercises and consuming wholesome foods. 

I've been in a position where my broken heart had me doing nothing apart from crying and sleeping. I stopped working out and chose junk food over healthy options because they were comforting to me at the time. The result was me gaining weight, looking as terrible as I felt and not being my best self

With a broken heart, your stress levels can skyrocket due to overwhelming feelings. If you can see a medical practitioner frequently, monitor your stress levels and work hard to ensure it is controlled as much as possible. 


How do guys act after they break up with you?

How a guy will act towards you after they break up with you will rely largely on how the breakup happens. If there was an argument or any form of cheating on his side, he might feel remorse anytime he sees you.

In some instances where he still has romantic feelings towards you, he might be confused or shy around you. When a man abruptly ends a relationship and gives no reason, he might also act differently towards you after the breakup. 

How do you know if a breakup is temporary?

Letting go of previous relationships isn't as easy as it sounds, especially when romantic feelings are still involved. If you're still in love with your ex and are wondering whether or not your breakup, albeit abrupt, is temporary, one sign you can look out for is when your ex suddenly comes back into your life.

He might be hanging out with some of your friends or even sending you the occasional check-up text message. By doing this, he might be acting sweet, and he might also be looking to get back with you.

Do guys hurt after dumping you?

Guys, just like ladies, experience some amount of hurt when their companionship ends abruptly. The time between the breakup and their experience of hurt might be prolonged because, for some reason, they might hope that the end of their romantic relationship was a temporary one.

Some men are known to isolate themselves while figuring out the best way to deal with the end of their romantic relationship. He might go the extra mile and stock up on video games, junk food and even movies to avoid his issues and repressed emotions.

What is the last stage of a breakup?

The last stage of a breakup is realizing that all your tears, denial and depression won't make the relationship work again. Accepting that this special relationship has ended and you might never experience the person in such a manner again is the last stage of every breakup.

In this final stage, you start piecing together what happened, even when the relationship ends suddenly. You learn to acknowledge your part in how things ended, learn from any mistakes you uncover and carry those lessons into any new relationship you start. When a relationship ends abruptly, the acceptance phase might take a while to surface, but it is necessary to ensure your wounds heal as fully as possible.

In Conclusion

It can hurt when a man abruptly ends a companionship, especially breakups that already come with a lot of emotional trauma. It’s even more painful when you're completely in love with him and never saw it coming. Trust us when we say your life doesn't end, even though it hurts. 

When a man abruptly ends a relationship with you, don't fret too much. Trust that you will heal, move on, and fall head over heels in love with someone better. 

If you loved reading this or could relate to it in any way, we would love to hear from you. To every ex-girlfriend who reads this article; how about sharing this piece with your friends or anyone feeling the same way? Get them on the wagon, and let's have a great conversation in the comment section. 

Utilize this tool to verify if he's truly who he claims to be
Whether you're married or just started dating someone, infidelity rates have risen by over 40% in the past 20 years, so your concerns are justified.

Do you want to find out if he's texting other women behind your back? Or if he has an active Tinder or dating profile? Or even worse, if he has a criminal record or is cheating on you?

This tool can help by uncovering hidden social media and dating profiles, photos, criminal records, and much more, potentially putting your doubts to rest.

1 Sources:
  1. Journal of Family Psychology. (2011). Breaking Up is Hard to do: The Impact of Unmarried Relationship Dissolution on Mental Health and Life Satisfaction.

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