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11 Signs A Gay Man Loves A Woman

by Sonya Schwartz

Gay men are unbelievably attractive to straight women. Not only do they take care of their appearance, but they also listen better. They offer quite a few things that we all wish we could find in the men in our life. It leads to those of us with a gay best friend usually entertaining the idea that maybe he would like a woman (like us.)

The thing is, it’s more than possible. It actually happens. Some men may have a husband, but might be demisexual. This means that they are sexually attracted to an emotional connection that develops. Or perhaps they are sexually attracted to intelligence. This means that they could find those same qualities in a woman. 

Signs A Gay Guy Is In Love With A Woman

If you’re wondering whether he loves you back, it’s time to figure it out. These signs will take the guesswork out of your life so you’ll know whether he’s head over heels in love with you or another woman.

1. He asks your point of view on the two of them together

he asks your point of view on the two of them together

If your gay friend has suddenly started asking how you feel about a woman he’s friends with, that’s a sign that there may be something more going on. When he mentions the two of them in a hypothetical relationship, you know that he has feelings for her. 

He might not specifically ask your opinion on the two of them together if he’s not sure about how he feels yet. Instead, you can expect him to bring her up in conversation. He’ll mention some of the qualities that she has, like her being patient or how she’s an animal lover. You’ll hear him say something about how she’s really sweet or kind, which also happens to be a quality that he looks for in partners. 

2. He spends less time with his husband

When he starts to entertain the idea of another person, including a potential future wife, you’ll notice that gay men will spend less time with their spouses. There are suddenly fewer cute selfies of them together. They don’t take elaborate vacations together anymore. The relationship seems to have hit a rut. 

Most of the time, when someone is married or with someone else, they’ll show all the signs of cheating if they are suddenly interested in someone else. For example, many of their phone conversations will be with their new best friend. They’ll spend more time together. Opening up happens more with this other person instead of their current boyfriend. 

Even during emotional affairs, the signs of cheating are still there. It’s because he’s more investing in his new interest. 

3. They’re not gay anymore, they’re bi

When a gay man falls in love with a woman, it can instantly spark some confusion. Stating that they are gay instantly does the explaining for them. Once they’re in love with a woman, they have to re-examine that sexuality

Some gay men will still identify as gay but will say that they are simply in love with a woman. Others will begin to identify as something else. This could be pansexual or another term. The most common situation is a gay man identifying as bisexual. 

4. Discussing labels is suddenly awkward for them

After concluding that they are bisexual, this same person might suddenly feel awkward all over again. That’s because it’s like coming out again. They feel like they have to explain the entire situation to people. 

If your gay friend is married, they might not even mention that they are falling in love with a woman. Instead, you’ll notice that this one topic makes them a bit nervous. Common signs that he’s nervous include: 

  • Avoiding eye contact
  • Sweating
  • Fidgeting
  • Avoiding the topic
  • Changing the subject
  • Turning the conversation back to you

This is because they are still trying to figure it all out. They need to decide how they feel about the topic in general. Love can be confusing, but it’s more confusing when you suddenly add labels to it. There are too many things for them to come to terms with and decide on to suddenly mention during casual conversation. 

Most of the time, he’ll open up a bit more once he’s decided what he wants to do. If he doesn’t want to pursue the relationship despite being in love, there’s no point in discussing it. He might mention being in love with her but also state why he doesn’t want anything more than friends. 

Another possible scenario is that they will open up about everything at once. This is because he’s got it figured out. He knows what he will be identifying as will be ready to come out and has mentally prepared himself for it. He knows that once he says he’s in love with a woman, there are going to be plenty of questions from everyone. 

That’s why he won’t want to discuss it until he’s ready to answer all of the questions and deal with the possible judgment that he will face from the gay community.

5. They show all the symptoms of falling in love

they show all the symptoms of falling in love

It doesn’t matter whether a man is gay or straight, there are certain things that they’ll do when falling in love. They pay more attention to their appearance than they did before. When she walks into a room, he’ll instantly smile ear to ear. He tries to impress her. You’ll see him do everything a man does when they are falling in love, even when he doesn’t realize that he’s doing it. 

6. She has a nickname

Gay men don’t flirt the same way that straight men do. They simply don’t. One thing that gay men tend to do a lot more is that they give people they like cute nicknames. If she’s more than just a friend, expect her to have a cute nickname. He might not say it out loud yet, but he’ll at least have it saved in his phone. 

7. His body language shows that he’s into her

Gay men, straight men, straight women, etc. all unintentionally do things with their body language when they are into someone. His body language will be more open. For example, his legs and arms won’t always be crossed. 

You’ll also notice that he tends to mirror her body language at times. For example, if she’s leaning forward, he’ll lean forward too. People do this when they like someone. Expect more eye contact, too. He’ll pay attention to every word. 

8. Marriage equality is still important, but somehow not as much so

When people fight for marriage equality, they’re fighting for their right to have a legal wedding. They want everyone to have the same right. It’s definitely a worthy cause. Gay people that are in a relationship, in particular, will fight harder. This is because they are also fighting for their partner. Once that partner is a female, the fight is still there but the passion seems to be lacking. It’s because they aren’t fighting for their partner anymore. 

9. His sex life has hit a rut

If a gay man was previously known for having a new lover every weekend and suddenly there are no tales on Monday, it’s a sign that something else is going on. Granted, there might be a problem, such as him wanting something more than just sex. 

However, this is also a sign that the man has fallen in love. If you notice this in combination with other signs that the guy is in love, it’s more than likely that he found someone special. This will definitely apply if it’s a woman. 

10. He’s not staying friends with the fag hag

This is a term that is widely known. It’s used to describe straight women that tend to prefer the company of gay men. Instead of hanging out with other women or men, they specifically would rather hang out with a gay guy or two. 

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Because girls tend to get jealous, he might stop spending as much time with his female bestie. This could be because he doesn’t want his love interest to get the wrong impression. Another reason is that it makes her feel insecure, or people ask her if he’s the other girl’s boyfriend. 

Guys will do anything for someone they love, even if it means not spending as much time with their other friends. 

11. There’s never a mention of a boyfriend

there's never a mention of a boyfriend

His sexy time seems to be non-existent. Love is complicated, but those discussions and rants have suddenly stopped. The same guy that used to talk about what his dream boyfriend was like suddenly has nothing to say about other guys. In fact, many of your conversations don’t involve future relationships with a man at all. 

You’ll notice that most of the time, relationship conversations involve generic relationships or situations. For example, two people instead of that hot guy that I met last week. You’ll see this a lot in a man that is openly gay and proud and has yet to re-identify as being bisexual or something else. 

Conclusion

Guys that fall in love tend to exhibit a lot of the same signs. Gay men in particular will still show that they love a girl, but there are a few things that are different, such as how they flirt. What would you add to the list?

You may also be interested in: 3 Easy Ways to Find Out If He's Cheating On You

Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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