We’ve all been in relationships that had plenty of ups and downs. They are fun and exciting at times, but they can be overwhelming and exhausting at other times! Having relationship ups and downs can lead to you being stuck in half of a partnership that isn’t really all that even. You might be the one doing most of the work while your partner sits back relaxing! No fair!
If you’ve invested time in a relationship and are looking for a better balance, this article is perfect for you. We won’t talk about the fun of having your mother disapprove of your boyfriend or the awesome makeup sex that comes after a big fight, but we will look at why relationships are so moody for some people and what you should do if these are your current circumstances!
Not to be too forward, but I’ve been in a relationship with a guy who was very exciting to be around. I felt moments of joy when we were together, but let me confess something: he is not my husband! Sometimes, I wonder how that guy is doing, but I would never want to repeat the past. All that drama is surely meant for someone else. I want to focus on the present!
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Relationships are a lot of work. If you fear being yourself, you will never move forward in your relationship to an eventual marriage. Why would you want to enter a marriage with someone you already have relationship problems with? Don’t get me wrong; even the best relationships have issues. But if you feel normal having relationship problems, yours is dramatic.
Do you go from one extreme to another? Maybe you can’t even discuss certain issues with your partner, or the deal is off. In other words, he or she is so sensitive that certain topics affect your lives negatively! Imagine not even being able to talk about your relationship with your partner. If certain topics are forbidden, your lives are being ruled by constrictions and rules.
You should be able to be yourselves with one another. If you have problems, overcome them together - as a team! Live your lives to the fullest and find the presence of joy in your relationship. You can achieve this in your relationship if you really want it. Relationships may be a lot of work, but they should allow you to be yourself and care about the person you’re with.
At the beginning of a relationship, you are still getting used to having a partner by your side to do everything with. This can be a fun and exciting time, and it’s normal to have ups and downs. New relationships just mean that you will have good times and bad; you just need to figure out if you are still in the honeymoon stage.
Try not to make a superficial list; actually, name things that matter. For example, maybe you value the fact that your boyfriend works hard at his job and shows a great deal of ethics with his behavior. You should make a thorough list of all the traits you value to determine if the two of you have a future together or don’t.
This can be a tall order, I know. It’s not easy to tell if someone is right for you or not. However, if you create the criteria that you need in a partner ahead of time, you should be able to tell whether your partner is a good match for you or not. Do they match your list? Do they meet the “must-haves” on your list? If not, you have some thinking to do.
It’s always smart to speak with your partner if you are having doubts about your relationship. He or she might be having the same thoughts and feelings. Work together to determine what’s best for both of you. If you air your concerns, you won’t feel like you need to walk on eggshells around him or her. Set healthy boundaries, too!
Often, we cannot control the world around us, but we can respond in the way that we determine we want to. If your partner is late for a date, you can let it ruin your night or just decide to not make a big deal of it. It’s entirely up to you how you will respond to such an event. Consider changing your outlook.
Sometimes, screaming at the top of your lungs is not the best solution for everyone involved. You might try listening more instead of talking so much. You’ll learn much more from hearing from someone else than if you were the person talking all of the time.
There will always be times when people just need alone time or time away from one another. Think about what is best for you both.
When weighing your options, be sure to look at all the good and bad times to determine what really matters. Don’t allow petty fights to set the tone for your relationship; YOU can decide what matters to you in your relationship.
Speaking to your friends and family can be very helpful, especially if they are trustworthy and receptive. Ask for their advice if they know your partner, and see what they suggest you do. Often, two heads are better than one; it never hurts to get a second opinion.
If you have judgmental friends and family members, take their opinions with a grain of salt. Remember that your opinion is what ultimately matters. What you say is what is going to happen. If you think they are biased in some way, it may be best to not ask their advice and stick to your gut.
The time may come when you need to decide if the relationship is worth saving or not. Do you have fun? Do you enjoy the company of your partner? How often do the two of you fight or argue over little things? Do you think you are better with him or her or without him or her? Pray or meditate about this decision to see what is best.
A trained couples counselor can give you advice, tips, and tools to use to solve your issues. If your partner is willing to go with you, that is even better! It also shows that he or she is willing to do whatever it takes to try to see if something can come of your relationship with one another. You may discover that this person is a keeper!
In the beginning, when you don’t know what is happening with your partner, you can feel insecure, especially as much time might pass between dates. You might spend lots of time trying to overcome your fears and insecurities about what he is up to.
The reality is that each relationship is different. For some, fear of a lack of control can lead to anger and resentment over time. It’s essential to work these issues out before you just skip over them and start showing one another attention when there are problems that need to be discussed.
It’s normal to have ups and downs in a relationship, but you’ll want to make sure there are more ups than downs. Long-term relationships need to walk a straight line and not worry too much about the ups and downs, as they are often not something you can control.
If you’ve started dating someone, and you just now realized that you’ve spent more time fighting than agreeing, you may have to accept the end of your relationship. Having ups leads to happiness, not fighting, bickering, and misery! Get out before you consider marriage.
Often, a pair may seem like a happy couple, but they are actually not right for each other. If you start dating the wrong person, you may spend a lot of time trying to deal with the conflict in the relationship rather than the solutions. This won’t lead to a happy marriage.
Are you aware of the ups and downs in your relationship or marriage? Do you fear honesty because it leads to discord? We’ve talked a lot about how to create a healthy relationship. Going forward, what changes are you going to make? What do you expect from your partner? Please share!
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