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My Sister Is Dating My Ex Boyfriend (15 Ways To Manage The Situation)

by Sonya Schwartz

Regardless of how you and your ex-boyfriend left things off, finding out that he has moved on with someone else can be painful. What’s more devastating is finding out this new person is your sister. In most cases, you probably felt better when you didn't know the name or identity of the woman your ex is dating. 

This feeling can wreck you emotionally and make you lose faith in the girl code. So many questions come to mind; didn’t she know you and her man were seeing each other? Isn’t she betraying the family name? Couldn’t she have found another man? Shouldn’t siblings look out for each other and avoid crossing into such territories?

All these questions are valid, after all, she’s a family member, and it just doesn’t feel right to have a woman from your family dating the person you used to go out with. 

It’s safe to say that any woman from your family who dates a man you were once involved with is breaking the girl code, talk less of your sister. So whether you think a line has been crossed or not, there are many choices to make when handling such an issue. Here are some ways to manage the situation.

15 Ways To Manage The Situation

1. Talk to your sister about it

Don’t let the emotions swelling inside you negatively affect your family dynamics and relationship with your sister. We don’t have the power to choose who we fall in love with as love happens in many odd ways. Give your sister every benefit of the doubt as there could be a thousand and one reasons for her actions.

Engage your sibling in an open and honest conversation to find out what transpired from her point of view. Chances are, you’d find out that she may not have intentionally broken the girl code, but that life happened. Furthermore, contrary to what you may be thinking, they may just be two people who fell in love and aren’t just trying to spite you. 

2. Don’t compare yourself with your sibling

Don’t compare yourself with your sibling

Regardless of the events that led to you breaking up with your ex, don’t make the mistake of comparing yourself to your sister because it never ends well. It’s unhealthy to question what she has that you don’t as you may likely never be fair to yourself. That’s because you won’t recognize that you also have some excellent attributes that your sibling doesn’t have. 

People have these complicated family dynamics all the time, but it’s up to you to be the bigger person. You must acknowledge the fact that you are unique and special in your way. Additionally, avoid asking mutual friends for details about their relationship as it would only result in making matters worse. 

3. Deal with your emotions

No matter how much you claim not to care, you’d still feel disappointed and angry at your sister. People would call it a betrayal, and the stories you hear behind you won’t be kind either. Instead of denying these emotions, acknowledge and find ways of dealing with them. 

You could always talk to your friends about how you are feeling. Don’t let the stories people are spreading about the ‘new couple’ get to you. Anytime you feel the need to vent, you could reach out to family or friends that you trust for reassurance. 

4. Don’t forget why the relationship ended

No matter what you do, always remember why you broke up with this guy in the first place. Often, the feeling of resentment and pain clouds our sense of reasoning as women, that we forget why opted out in the first place. Don’t forget the bad habits and behaviors you had to put up with when you were still a couple.

Maybe your sister and he make a better couple, and that’s okay. But if not, they are adults, and your sibling would take up the responsibility of putting up with those character traits. Even if it was your ex that ended the relationship, be content with the outcome and hope for the best.

5. Don’t count it as a loss

Don’t ever see your ex dating your sister as a personal loss to you. Relationships come and go but family is forever. She may have crossed the line by dating your ex, I mean, they are other men out there. But don’t worry, don’t think she purposely strayed into your territory. They are partners now so you have to respect that. 

Something better is in the works for you, so use this time to keep healing and hanging out with family or a friend or two that will cheer you up. Your ex dating your sister shouldn’t signal the end of the world for you.

Besides, when it comes down to it, your sister may not necessarily be smarter or more attractive than you. Don’t see your breakup as a failure on your part, your love story is still in the works. 

6. Make your peace with it

Most times, the best thing to do is to make peace with the fact that your ex has moved on with your sister. This is one way to work through your emotions and come out stronger. Try not to hold onto what they made you go through. plus, this is not the time to think about hooking up with your ex’s brother. 

Everyone would expect you to keep malice as siblings, but if breaking up with this guy was something you really wanted, don’t let it cause tensions between you two. Forgiveness brings with it peace of mind and freedom to carry on with your life.

7. Stay away from your ex and sister

Never allow one bad experience stop you from finding happiness elsewhere. Yes, the issue at hand may seem insulting, especially when other people are making up stories or mocking you a lot. 

Always remember, it’s not your fault, even though this is one territory you feel your sister had no right to cross. If she’s been dating him for a while, take heart and make peace with it out of respect for your family. But, don’t feel the need to burden your heart the more by hanging around them. 

Severing ties with people you have spent a significant amount of your life with is never an easy thing to do. However, keeping your distance will help you find peace and maybe even get back in the dating world without her name or his constantly coming up.

8. Take enough time to heal

You need ample space and time to get over the hurt you feel. The best thing for you is to delete their contact and focus on moving on. Additionally, try your possible best to stay away from places or social gatherings where you may likely run into them. That’s because seeing them at events could hurt and make you feel worse.

Unfollow or better still block them on all social media, so you don’t get tempted to reach out or rant.

9. Resist the urge to trash-talk your sibling or your ex-boyfriend

Despite the fact you’re no longer together, you and your ex could still have some mutual friends. Naturally, you may feel the urge to trash talk to him and your sister whenever you get to hangout. Most people do this to make themselves feel better or get back at their ex. 

This may seem like the best thing to do, but in the long run, it could hurt you and affect your family dynamics. It’s normal to want to get provoked or vent your anger once in a while, but it shouldn’t become a regular occurrence.

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10. Find solace in other people around you

Find solace in other people around you

Even though your sister has disappointed you, seek solace and comfort in those around you. Keeping the right company would help you heal and move on properly. Ensure you surround yourself with people that lift your spirit and make you feel loved. 

It could be a friend, colleagues, and other reliable relationships. Chances are, some of these men or women may have gone through a similar situation. Try to open up about your fears and anxiety as they are likely to understand and are in a better position to offer you advice and much-needed comfort.

11. Find ways of distracting yourself

The mere thought of your ex being with your sibling is enough to make you unhappy. Notwithstanding, you shouldn’t dwell on the thought or allow it to get the better of you. Instead, find ways of distracting yourself and getting your mind off the situation. You can try a new hobby – hiking, swimming, yoga, cycling, or traveling. 

Better still, go on a vacation or engage yourself with physical activities. Additionally, go back to doing those things you derived joy from before your relationship hit the bricks. These activities won’t give you time to question all you know or think about how your sister is dating your ex.  

12. Learn to love yourself more

Embracing self-love at this point is one way to manage this type of situation effectively. If you were part of the reason things didn’t work out, forgive yourself and don’t beat yourself up about it. Focus on finding joy and happiness, no matter what may have happened.

Learn to love yourself, including your personality, character, and positive attributes. Replace negative self-talk with positive and honest self-talk. What’s more, treat yourself to niceties, go on trips, and do those things you have wanted to do. dating isn’t all there is to life. 

13. Put yourself out there

Rather than focus your attention on your sibling and ex, or what people are saying, pull yourself together, and search for other cookies in the jar. You deserve all the happiness in the world, don’t let people tell you otherwise. Put yourself out there so you can attract a guy that will cherish you.

In doing so, be open-minded and avoid comparing any guy that comes with your ex. When you find someone, ensure the person can give you the happiness you deserve. This time around apply yourself to see that things work out.

14. Be optimistic about a positive outcome

In times like this, it’s natural to think the worst of this situation. You’ll hear stories of how an ex dating a sibling resulted in age-long hate and resentment. Put those stories out of your head and hope for a better outcome.

It may not seem like it, but things could end well for you, your sister, and your ex at the end. Be open to accept your sister back into your life and love her regardless of what may have happened.

15. Consider seeing a professional therapist

If you’re having a hard time dealing with the situation, seeing a professional counselor or therapist would do you a lot of good. It’s the perfect place to process your feelings and heal from the dating saga that may be eating you up. 

FAQs

Do exes come back after dating someone else?

In some cases, people do come back regardless of how long they have been away. Chances are, your ex may still be into you and cares enough to want you back. We’ve seen it happen countless times, even with the people we thought would never make up. Many of them come back after the feeling of anger and resentment has waned. 

Is it OK to date my ex-boyfriend’s brother?

For the most part, we can’t help who we fall in love with, which makes it slightly complicated. However, if things didn’t work out with your ex-boyfriend, it’s better to skip his brother and find love and happiness someplace else. Out of respect for your ex, do not date his brother to avoid creating unnecessary tension and hostility between them.

Will dating someone else makes my ex jealous?

In most cases, yes, especially if the guy is more attractive than him. Of course, he probably won’t admit it openly, but deep down, there’s that feeling of jealousy. Additionally, if your ex still loves and cares for you, seeing you with someone else may likely stir up jealousy inside him.

How should you act when your ex is dating someone new?

It can be heartbreaking to discover that your ex has moved on from you. Resist the urge not to compare yourself to your new partner as it is not a healthy thing to do. Also, stay away from your ex and his new partner as much as you can. This will help you to move on properly.

How do I know if my ex still loves me?

Contrary to what most people think, feelings don’t just disappear. One way to figure out if your ex still loves you is to observe his behavior and how much he tries to communicate with you. Additionally, notice how he asks mutual friends for information about you.

In Summary

I hope you enjoyed reading through this post. The tips provided above are guaranteed to help you effectively manage this sort of situation. Let me know what you think by leaving a comment in the dialog box below. Additionally, feel free to share this article across your social networks.

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Sonya Schwartz
A hopeless romantic that struggled for many years to find her Mr "Right" and made all the mistakes you could think of while dating. Known for always choosing the wrong guys or messing up relationships, Sonya was finally able to change her approach and mindset when it came to dating which helped her eventually find the man of her dreams and become happily married. You can read more about me here...

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